Things you can say about an instrument but not about your girlfriend

I love listening to it

It blows

It's a pain in the ass cleaning all that spit

I've never locked it in the trunk of my car

Yeah, it's kinda beat up. I never really cared for it. I'd just throw it in the back of the van when I had to go somewhere with it.

She's a rental

WHOS GOT A PENIS?

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it's a piano

I've beat the hell out of this thing

all of the holes have had my dick in them.

In mint condition

Fun to play with in front of a live audience.

I prefer the cheaper Mexican models to the American made

Someone stole it and I want it back

I have several of them safely kept in my basement

it exists

It's black

Be meaning to string it up for a while

>drummer
worth banging

there's no strings attached

...

If I don't screw it just right. I doesn't sound right until I do.

For sale on Craigslist

BITCH GOT A PENIS

worth the money

underrated

gee whiz i love my instrument more than i love my girlfriend

I oil it myself.

Finger A Minor

roast beef humor everyone

i'm getting it's neck replaced

underrated and also best post itt

I hate losing stuff in it

It is made of wood

It's worth something.

The harder I hit it the looser it all gets

hand me the screwdriver, i gotta open her up

Broke my g string while fingering a minor