OK Computer [Capitol, 1997]

They have to be one of the most boring bands on the planet.

Q: Did your marriage change you any?
A: It did a lot. Carola really calmed me down. Before I met her, I used to get into regular street fights. I'm talking an average of 2-3 times a week. I don't do that kind of thing anymore. We got married and wanted to have kids.
Q: So you were the marrying type?
A: I am.

lyl just imagine how many times people in bands and fans of bands probably got into confrontations with him on the street because of some bullshit he wrote about them.

I'm not at all surprised to hear Chance did this

>implying he fought back

He used to beat up everyone at shows in the late 70s, but he stopped by the time Reagan was president. Maybe as he turned 30, he grew past his angsty phase a bit.

Hoping some Black Sabbath fan gave him what was coming.

Shout at the Devil [Elektra, 1984]
It should come as no surprise that this platinum product is utter dogshit even by heavy metal standards. At the urging of editors unable to distinguish Iron Maiden from Wynton Marsalis, my beleaguered colleages at the dailies have been saying so all year and every insult goes into the press kit. Still, I must mention Mick Mars's dork-fingered guitar before getting to the one truly remarkable thing about this album--a song titled "Ten Seconds to Love" in which singer Vince Neil appears to boast (!) how fast he can ejaculate. Therein I believe lies the secret to their success--if you don't got it, flaunt it. Followup--"Pinkie Prick." D

This guy has the worst taste in music of any of the popular reviewers, Fantano included. He’s a joke and a retard.

Now that's fucking cringe and bluepilled.

1. This review appeared in the 1984 Turkey Shoot column which would have come out around Thanksgiving, but SATD was released September 83. What that means is he ignored the album as long as he could until it got too big to ignore and then belatedly, over a year later finally shit out this put-down of it.
2. Mick Mars is a far better guitarist than that especially live and especially considering the poor guy has been a cripple since he was 17.
3. Wait a minute, Bob. Didn't you always say rock and roll should be loud and offensive instead of genteel?
4. The Looks That Kill could be be a feminist anthem if you let it.

He did that again with Steve Perry's Street Talk. Album comes out spring 84, he reviews it after Steve's appearance on WATW at least a year later and if you read the review, you realize he didn't even listen to it back when it originally came out.

Review of SATD was from his June 84 column, he didn't have the Turkey Shoot list yet at that time. I know he did something like that with Korn S/T--that he couldn't bother reviewing it until more than a year after it came out and the review appeared in the 95 Turkey Shoot list.

All of which means the dude is also a lazy fuck on top of it and thinks ignoring a band he doesn't like will make it go away.

I think Cuckgau just got caught up in the whole critical establishment anti-metal thing at the time. Trust me when I say there was no rock critic back in 1984 who would have written anything complimentary about Motley Crue or Steve Perry.

I mean, I don't even like Journey or anything but that's still extremely lazy and petty on his part.

Based

Seriously now, Radiohead are a great band, Jonny is a great musician, but OK Computer is just boring and awful

>OK Computer is soulless
Yeah no shit

>Radiohead wouldn't know a tragic hero if they were cramming for their A levels,
this part is actually true. The music they make is sincerely very dark for the most part, but I can never take Thom's supposed pain that seriously

How is he so retarded?

Q: What do you think of attempts at creating a pop music canon?
A: I don't like it at all. I think creating a canon kind of goes against the spirit of rock and roll.
Q: What about your various best-of lists over the years?
A: Maybe the culture simply passed me by. I've always hated all those Rolling Stone best-of lists or the VH1 countdowns they come out with every other week. I hate nostalgia and golden age thinking. I've never considered my lists to be definitive. I suppose the closest I ever came to the idea of a canon was in the '70s when my tastes pretty much stood perfectly in line with the critical consensus at the time.
Q: Do you think you'd ever write a book establishing a music canon?
A: I'm not sure I would do that, but I can tell you what names wouldn't be in it and that includes people like Dr. Dre and critical darlings Radiohead. You know why? Because they fucking suck.

reminder that Xgau hailed The White Stripes as the most revelatory and remarkable rock act of the 2000s and everyone seems to have forgotten that much like they forgot The White Stripes

too high

Maybe, but also New York crowds had started expecting him to do it so he stopped. Kind of like how Swans crowds started expecting confrontation amd brutal noise levels so Gira said "fuck you" and started writing acoustic folk rock.

Doesn't a pop music canon already exist loosely? I mean certainly literary canon is more rigidly defined but it's not as if there's a definitive list of books and authors to read. Music is the same, reputation and criticism create canon.

Yeah that's like how The Who eventually stopped smashing their instruments after it became a meme and people start coming to their shows just to see that and they weren't really interested in the music.