ITT: We make up stories about how bands got their shitty band names

You just KNOW

>anime
fuck off tranny

>Okay Tony, time to hit the dartboard
>(Tony Iommi, while wearing a blindfold, throws two darts on a dartboard covered with random edgy words)
>(The two darts hit the words 'Black' and 'Sabbath')
>
>
>
>Perfect

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Should've made it an online test.

>i can't stop sodomizing this mountain goat
>hmm, The Mountain Goats

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Not a joke
>college band with no name
>go to battle of the bands competition
>”okay guys, what’s your name?”
>”we don’t have one yet”
>”okay, Ezra, you guys go first”
>”alright you guys are up next after Ezra, you need to give us a name now”
>”how about, Better Than Ezra?”
>”perfect!”

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>t.9gag

JOHN NO!

>oi Johnny we need a fuckin' band name mate. I 'ate them fookin' meatahs, me
>Mozzy I know this meatah down the fookin' block mate, goes by Smif-
>OI THAT'S IT MATE, THE SMIFS MATE, YEAH?
>OI MOZZY THAT'S FOOKIN BRILLIANT MATE!

>thom get that radio off your head you dumbass

kek

>hmmmm jeff the fridge seems to be indifferent

>i like big bosoms
>i got it, burzum

>My dick always hurts after jacking off
>Why?

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This one made me laugh.

>Whose making all that noise up there?
>Huh? Oh um, I think it's the residents

>OI boys, i need some with my garden
>nick, fuck off ya cunt. we have to name ouar fUkin band
>oi mates, come on. how am i gonna build a BEAUTY OF A garden for inspiration if i have to work with these bad seeds
>wait, what did you say Bruce?

You can google it, it really happened

>wow, you're band sounds great, Paul
>y-you too

that's just one of the theories

>what if we named ourselves after our fans?
>that's actually a great idea
>we are tool now

That's not all that far off

>fuck dude what do we call our band
>well, what genre do we play?
>metal dude, wtf
>so... What if we just took "Metal" and made it a name?
>what?
>Metallica

>hey billy can you hold this pumpkin for me
>*whoops*

Audibly kek'd

>Don Van Vliet and his ragtag troupe of Delta rockers walks on stage
>"We've got a treat for you tonight folks. Now introducing-"
>The announcer turns to the band.
>"What's your name again?"
>"uhhh... uhhhh"
>Don Van Vliet looks towards the bar and sees sitting down in one of the stools a giant pirate ship with a ghost pirate at the helm and while driving he is murdering a cow and eating its organs
>"Captain Beefheart!"
>the band members look around at each other
>....
>fucking PERFECT

THE HUMAN HOLOCAUST

>ayo kanye what u finna name our duo senpai?
>shiieeeet nigga les fig dat shit out after we watch The Sixth Sense directed by M. Night Shyamalan starring Haley Joel Osment and Bruce Willis
>aight

Jesus, Raimi

bump

>What should we call our band
>Uhhh, yes (didn't hear shit)
>aye I guess that works

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>no one cares
>no one cares
>no one cares but actually pretty good
>literally the most influential album of this decade
>gay gay gay HAA HAAAA HAA HAAAAA gay gay HAAA HAAAA gay gay gay gay HAAAA HAAAA gay gay
>no one cares
>no one cares
>no one cares
>no one cares
>no one cares
>hmm today i will visit weird fetish servers on second life
>no one cares
>bruuhhhh what if nine inch nails was actually idem
>soundtrack
>dude what if church organs but electronic aahahaaha lol

FUCK ME I THOUGHT THIS WAS THE DESCRIBE AN ARTISTS DISCOGRAPHY POORLY THREAD SHIT FUCK DICK PISS

>"man we really suck at making music we're so dumb"
>"yea i know like our brains are fucking terrible, their pretty bad"
>"dude..."

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lmao

>we're boys
>on the beach
>the beach boys

>oh Noah, oh Noah, please Noah, harder
>okay Davey, my little kitten
>*off to the side* so Brian, while they're off over there in their fursuits and defiling God, let's name our band
>Joshua, you realize that we're also furries, right? you can hardly judge it, we're already a collection of animal fuckers
>Brian, that's it! Animal Fucker Collection
>nah, that's too long *starts casually undoing Joshua's belt* how about Animal Collection?
>*in between licking Brian's neck* how about that, Davey? Noah? we call ourselves Animal Collection? *starts jerking off Brian*
>*Noah, hyperventilating in his hot wolf suit* yaya sure, Animal Collective, what the fuck ever, now be quiet, I'm getting ready for round two. hey Davey, better get ready, *thrusts extra hard* because here comes the Indian
>oh Noah

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>Julian, what should we name our band?
>I don't know Al, what do you think Mark?
>ffttfffsttt
>Huh?
>ugh theng ehm havin a stroke
>That's perfect! We need a new bassist though

>Kevin, what should we name our band?
>I don't know, Colm, how ab-
>*from the other room* GUYS SHUT THE FOCK UP I'M ON MY PERIOD
>Bilinda, will you ever stop bringing up your bloody vagina?
>MY WHAT? MY BLOODY VALENTINE? WHAT DOES FOCKIN VALENTINE'S DAY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?
>Kevin, you don't think-?

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>so, producers, what should I name my band?
>Björk, it's literally just you
>but it has to have a name
>no it doesn't
>fine

>man, our last band, The Kennedys, went so downhill after our drummers died...
>hey, wait
fucking lol

i want to lick Bilinda's period blood

i wish i went to college with daniel lopatin fuck you

also personal story:
>be driving
>see student driver stickers on the back of a motherfucking mustang
>haha wow why would a student driver drive that car?
>hold on thats a good artist name
i know it sucks but thanks for reading

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post music

>God fucking damn it this engine won't work!
>How many fucking times am I going to have to beat it! I'm in a rage!
>I got it!
>I'm in a rage... A Rage Against The Machine!

...

> see bro and ask him "hey dude what are you going to call your new metal magazine?"
>"metallica"
>tell him "that name sucks, you should use something else"
>actually steal name for my band

>What should we name our band? All the other Elephant 6 bands have interesting names!
>Let's just throw a dart at a map and name ourselves after that?
>Sounds good!
>*thud*
>What did it hit?
>The Olivia Tremor Control
>Cool, now let's take some more mushrooms mr. gnome king

>Jim Thirwell in a dopamine fueled rampage rams his car into an abortion clinic
>The doctors end up Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel

I honestly would not be surprised if this is how the name came to be.

>Tom, the band has been talking and we don’t think we should play under your name
>how about my initials then, T.V
>hmm, that’s a good start

>Hey Aaron?
>Yeah Mickey?
>We don't have a name for our band
>Goddamn, you're right, how about a combination of uhhhh...
>Wuss and Penis?
>Pussis?
>Weniss?
>How bout Ween?
>Sounds good mang, now lets smoke some grass and get really, really high.

you were supposed to make up a story, user

>hey, Gira, you haven't come up with a band name, have you?
>no, why?
>how about we name it something really offensive, something fitting our sound?
>hmmmm, nah let's do the opposite, trick random people into thinking they're getting chambery lounge shit with a nice, pretty name

dude i tried am i supposed to make em go on a trip to hell, meet the boognish and write a five part series about it.

>because here comes the indian

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yes

>”So Miss Fortune Teller what can you tell me?”
>”According to my tarot deck & tea leaves, you’re spiritually cut off. One might say you’re third eye blind.”
>*whispering* “I think I know our new band name Kevin.”

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>we need a cool name for our dj sets, any ideas?
>let me get back to you after I swallow an avalanche of cum
>not necessary

LMAO

>Hey, Bill? Chris?
>Yes, Jon?
>Hold up, what was that?
>Jon?
>No the other word
>Yes?
>That's it! Yes! I was going to ask you guys what we should name our band but I think that pretty much settles it. We'll call ourselves Yes. That name is so utterly brilliant and genius I can't even handle it.
>Hold up, don't we get a say in what our band name should be?
>No

>in an alternate timeline
>Wait a sec! We should name ourselves "No" instead!

Yeah this is getting a bump

You absolute fucking retard. It's obviously a reference to the river Styx of Greek myth, dipshit

thats the joke mate

>you know, a lot of other popular alt rock bands are just using one word that's basically uninteresting for their band names
>yeah?
>yeah, like Ride, Pavement, Green, Tool, Earth
>okay, well say the first word that comes to your mind
>Filter
>alright, let's go with that

>"dude...we need to make the best shoegaze lp of all time as our 2nd studio album..we need a band name"
>"sex joke kek"
>"asobi seksu it is"

>UGH UGH RUHRUH RUH UGH RUH
>UGH? THTHTHTHTHTHTHTH RUGH UH
>RUH RUH UGH!
Blasphemy

Who?

Swans

Thanks

>Whoa Mike, that song was like an end-of-the-world-song, like a swan song
>A swan song, eh?

Bilinda didn't join the band until years after MBV formed.

>Jesse stop fucking yourself in the ass you absolute faggot and research some stuff for our band name
>wait let me just play with my brand new dragon dildo. it ENORMOUS (cuz im a huge fucking faggot)
>brand new? huh? i think you might be onto something....

bumping bread

You're a frogposter and a wojakposter aren't you

Gtfo faggot, this is classic Yea Forums right here.

okay get ready for sum epic lulz
>so steve, what's your band called
>uhhh
>*looks around, sees a tall mascular african-american gentleman*
>rapeman

based and maybe redpilled

>ow! what the fuck, Zach?
>what?
>you're going to bruise my fucking dick like that, holy shit
>but that's how I normally jerk off...
>you should be more careful, you've got a serious case of death grip

absolute kek

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Based

jesus christ lmao

>yo I love Village People but no homo though
>Boys Town Gang