Tfw porn addiction lead me to fap to some disgusting stuff

Hell yeah

youtu.be/89rKnkNDKdM?t=8

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Atrax Morgue

I'm the same way man. I used to be able to get off to lesbians making out. Now I need to watch girls get borderline physically abused in order to get off. I hate myself too.

Hey, femdom is cool.

youtube.com/watch?v=0SAln73lURs

you'll probably get played Master of Puppets at Gitmo when you get v& for whatever illegal porn you sought out

Stop watching porn OP. That shit will make you super depressed quick. It's hard to stop but worth it.

Medicine Bottle by Red House Painters

Dude, I'm in the exact same place. I was feeling that way about two weeks ago. Stop fapping and it'll get better. The longer you go without looking at it, the easier it gets to forget. I haven't fapped to anything really disgusting in about two weeks, and my mind already feels clearer.

>feel alienated from everyone else
Does it feel like you're behind a glass wall? Like you can look at all the of the normal people and be close to them, but you're not one of them? There's something separating you?

Nine Inch Niggerdicks

Second post best post. Also Death Grips
Not masturbating isn't going to make you a better person. Not being addicted to porn might help, but denying your most basic bodily functions is never healthy. To paraphrase Martin Luther "It either goes into a woman or onto your shirt"

I stopped watching porn and went in a month of nofap and, as the time passed by, I no longer wished shitty porn (shemales in my case). I started masturbating to hot girls on Instagram and using my imagination, like, thinking about that hot chick I saw in the restaurant.

Try it user. It's hard but you can be saved. If you relapse try again with more effort until you make it.

There's nothing wrong with masturbating. You can do it without porn. Porn is the problem.

It probably doesnt mean anything to you but i thank you for sharing your story because it gives me hope i can overcome my addiction and return to normalcy, not OP btw.

>It either goes into a woman or onto your shirt.
So if you stop masturbating "into your shirt" then you can go outside and actually get laid "into a woman."
I don't see your point.

It actually means a lot user. It's good to know that a post of mine inspired you.
Good luck!

I feel like it will fix all of my problems. Most of my guilt and anxiety and depression comes from my fucked up porn habits and my inability to go out and get laid. I feel like cutting back on porn and going out more is the first step towards getting my life on track and finally losing my virginity. I'm going to stop fapping today and start waking up earlier.

How the fuck do you get at that point? I'm not addicted to porn but I've never pictured myself feeling horny about such degenerate stuff.

Start lifting heavy steel and eating clean m8. It will make a lot easier to stop consuming porn and will make you desire women even more.

the more you masturbate the more niche and depraved shit will be the only stuff that gets you going

Early Swans?

Thanks for the advice, mate. I'm at the end of my rope. I've tried every alternative method to getting my life together, and none of them worked. I'm defeated at this point. I'm going to start working out and eating right and waking up earlier. I avoided it for years, but there's nothing else for me to try and I'm at a point where I can't go on like this.

The hardest part about starting to lift/stopping porn habits/etc is starting.

Make it a routine and pretty soon you'll want to go out more and the thought of porn will be gross to you

I believe in you OP

I knew I had gone too far when I started watching mouth-rape vomit porn

Yes

Yes vanilla femdom is but I actually can’t live with myself after watching all that disgusting stuff

I'm not OP, I'm just in a similar boat. I guess it gives me confidence that other people share my issues.

You're in the same place I was a few weeks ago. It gets a little easier everyday. Stop watching porn, and go out more, and you'll start to feel more normal. It was hard for me to go out at first, because I hate social situations and I'm so used to being alone, but the more you go out, the more it becomes addicting like porn. You'll feel bored and lonely on nights when you don't have plans, and more like yourself when you're out with friends.

Yes you can just deal with it like another shitty habit/addiction and try your hardest to overcome it.
What you gonna do? Kill yourself or living alone in the shadows because you fapped to some girls eating poop?

Okay thanks I’m working on it, I’m just worried I’ll still be hating myself over this in 10-15 years time

Scat ain't even the worst kind of porn. There are people fapping to puppies getting their heads smashed by women right now. There are babies being raped by death and people cumming watching it.

Scat is disgusting but evil things are far worse.

I fapped to some disgusting shit in my edgelord porn-addict phase that I don't even want to talk about. My mind is so much clearer now and I'm starting to forgive myself. You'll get there too, man. You'll eventually be disgusted by those things, and won't even want to hear about them.

I don't understand being ashamed over faps. I've been around a lot of degenerate shit. I just consider sexual stuff a separate world from the other me.

That's really REALLY bad for your mental health. That will cause you extreme issues down the road if you don't cut that out. I was going down that same path. Stop while you can. You're getting into dangerous split-personality, schizophrenic territory with considering porn separate from the "real" you.

Thanks for the help so far guys
I know I can quit porn, I’ve done it before for a few months but relapsed recently
The scat stuff was about 6 months ago
My main worry is that if anyone found out they would hate me and I feel like I have some big dark secret I have to conceal from the world
I just want to feel normal, it’s like a stain on my soul

Maybe you just don't have an addictive personality. Consider yourself a lucky man.

Alright, then I embrace it. I don't see why the acceptability in others should inhibit me in this area.

You're playing with fire. I said the same thing for years, and my mental health is trash at the moment. That stuff takes a toll on you, whether you realize it or not. I was stubborn and didn't stop until I was an absolutely broken man.

i never got into weird fetish shit really beyond hairy pussy or bbw after years of porn daily. i did start mixing it up with gay and trans porn occasionally though but the thought of fucking a man makes me gag and if i play it with audio and hear the dude's voice i go soft immediately

based hairy pussy and bbw patrician

Accept The Void or get better
youtu.be/mEwE97p82k0
youtu.be/aRMnobpCxrY
youtu.be/aAhOkrBoKRg

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You're saying exactly what I said when I reached my breaking point. Like, word for fucking word. I think I literally used the phrase "stain on my soul" and "if anyone found out they would hate me" verbatim.
I was going on Omegle a couple years ago and talking to underage girls. I never touched anybody in real life or anything. It was all online. I started watching beastiality too, and started thinking about the idea of snuff, and that one scared me so much that I stopped.
This was two years ago, and that stuff is disgusting to me now. I wouldn't even think of it today, and I'm ashamed of my past self, but I've moved on.
You can't change the past, user. You can change what you do going forward. What you experienced and what you did is EXTREMELY typical of porn addiction. I suffered it, and millions of other people suffer from it. They just don't talk about it. Nobody needs to know what you've been struggling with, and your friends probably aren't as clean as you think. They probably have secrets that you don't know about.
We're all just broken people trying to change. The fact that you WANT to be a good person means that you are, because a bad person doesn't care.

>music for this feel

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Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord:
Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool. - Isaiah 1:18

Praying for you OP :)

youtube.com/watch?v=jevKSkFDiYk

Not the guy you're replying to, but the Bible has helped. I don't believe in the "God" aspect of it, but there's some serious wisdom in there. David fucking plotted a guy's murder so he could fuck his wife. He drafted a dude to war and put him on the front lines to be killed, and then seduced his widow, and he redeemed himself. God called David a man after his own heart. Shit like that really puts it into perspective. I may have fapped to some fucked up stuff, but David killed a guy and God still loved him. I don't believe in God, but that gives me hope.

BBW is actually worse than scat.

Agreed, except I believe in God. Great point.

If you haven't before, read Psalm 51. It's the song David wrote after doing all that stuff. David's repentance, recognition that sin is against God alone, and genuine cry God would make him pure (recognizing that he couldn't do enough good things to offset the evil that he'd done) in the lyrics of that song kind of help us key in on why David is described as a man after God's own heart.

True repentance and genuine understanding of who God is and how we compare—understanding of where salvation and freedom come from.

hard disagree

Sorry, should've proofread again. But I think my points come across.

Thanks user but once you’re out of the void how do you not hate yourself for being in it
Thanks man that’s helped I looked at some porn addiction forums and stuff and it seems there are many people going through it and even medical studies backing it up saying that escalation of fetishes is typical of addiction
Obviously the people saying I’m a degenerate in this thread still hurts but I’m trying to ignore them

You're good. I knew what you meant.

Engage in cognitve behavioral therapy. That shit is a life saver. Instead of thinking "I'm a degenerate," think something like "I was a degenerate, but I'm getting better." of something positive.

just pick up a hobby and keep yourself busy. You really only need to masturbate like one day a week as porn is awful and should not be consumed

i used to jack off to traps and shit bro, literally after one week of nofap and no porn it cleared it out of my head. no need to dwell on past fetishes or guilts, just move on and jack off like once a week to drain you balls(preferably masturbate without watching porn if you can help it)

Ive been lurking this thread and I relate with so many of you and I am in the same hole as OP. This thread has given me at least a sliver of hope
youtu.be/3XnhXg4XuqU

it's called being a patrician

Realizing that you're not alone is the first step. That's why support groups exist. Godspeed, man.

no i promise its not patrician on any level, its more like being a degenerate and falling into a downward spiral of self loathing and despair

This. It's not worth it.

Am I the only one who fell for the BBC meme? Tell me there is hope

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Negative creep -nirvana