Pitchfork : 1.9/10

pitchfork : 1.9/10

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says more about Pitchfork that it does about Tool desu

i wonder if the score was meant to be 9.1 but someone accidentally made a typo and said "hmm yeah that looks perfectly contrarian let's write a review around that for attention instead"

1.9 is such an arbitrarily wrong score

they’re right

This makes sense, since the review is overwhelmingly positive. No surprise that most of you people can't read.

>entire review is a long winded fantasy strawman of Tool's audience without a single critique of the music
imagine actually taking this website seriously.

:(

still cunts

:-(

i don't like tool, but even i wouldn't go that low. i wouldn't go any lower than a 4.

Love how polarizing Tool is to beta low t males. Tool haters are always Low t DYEL fags

This is the pitchforkmedia review that got a generation of internet kids to stop listening to mallcore. It may be their one legitimate contribution to society.

Why 1.9 and not 2?
What's with the 0.1?

their mars volta reviews were literal shitposting
>they just do random boring stuff lmao

>Indie and prog-rock have a lot more in common than most of their listeners might like to admit. Both are dominated by apostate wallflowers who act a lot cooler and more self-assured than they really are, and their artists, despite creating an aura of aloofness, are notoriously defensive.
>If you wanna take the psychoanalytic bent, both have masculinity issues: Prog compensates with double kick drums and the phallic gratification of rabid shrrredding, while indie prefers to spin its shortcomings into anti-heroism. This is not to detract from the legacy of either music-- both have rich and diverse histories-- but the reps of each have been tarnished by generations of feckless dudes whose spotlight-hogging has rendered the genres unusually susceptible to generalizations.
>In fact, the terms themselves are generalizations, almost always used negatively: These days, bands are most commonly dubbed "prog" or "indie" when their music isn't provocative enough to earn a more individually tailored description.

wew lad

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scaruffi: 7.5/10

and this is scaruffi 8/10

Maynard fucks little kids

I mean 1.9 is pretty dramatic. It is an incredibly pretentious and self important album, but it does have some really great riffs and alot of the tracks get stuck in my head in a good way. Probably a 6-7/10 for me

I preferred there edgy phase when maynard just sung about how much he hated everyone and hooker penises and what not. Lateralus strikes me as for people who think "I am an intellectual cause I take mushrooms and listen to Joe Rogan"

Any critism of Lateralus is almost always met with "youre just not smart enough tp get it". Literally the rick and morty of metal

Never actually listened to the lyrics that much, Tool was the band that showed me how cool minimalism can be in music, and the voice was pretty much another instrument.

>implying music creation isn't an inherently pretentious and self important endeavor in the first place
Face it. If Tool was a band of black dudes pitchfork would praise how ambitious the music is

And 95% of current Tool fans would hate it. What's your point?

True. Reading the comment section for Tool songs makes me understand the memes about their fans. They're still one of my favourite bands though

>And 95% of current Tool fans would hate it
What's your point user?

That theyre as biased as the p4k writers

For once they are right. Shit tier album for edgy jr. high schoolers.

I quite like that album, but I think a lot of the stuff said in that review is pretty good as well.

So?

I thought the review seemed more masturbatory than it's trying to claim the album is

The point of the review is to be a total meme.

This is a baseless claim

The review is clearly tongue in cheek and meant to rustle the jimmies of anyone who thinks music criticism should be taken seriously.