What's got you down in the dumps user? Feels thread
What's got you down in the dumps user? Feels thread
Every time a female expresses interest in me all I feel is a deep sense of dread. I am desperately lonely but run away from anyone who tries to get close. What should I do?
I feel tired of being alive. I don't feel the motivation to continue. Every day, when I wake up, I think about how much it overwhelms me to move on.
Working feels useless. Every job seems to pay $18 an hour no matter how hard you work. There's no incentive to try anymore and even if I work my ass off I can barely get 20% of what I'll need for retirement.
I don't know your specific situation user, but something that helps me in those kinds of predicaments is remembering that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Even if it goes to shit, you'll never know until you try
I know this feel user. Have you spoken to a therapist about how your feeling or tried any medications?
Maybe try finding something you love to do instead of always thinking about money?
>you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Yeah and I've already missed out on years of potential dating because I don't feel confident about myself. How do you stop feeling like a loser? High school was a long time ago...
Unfortunately I don't know the answer to that user. Most of my relationships have been flukes that just happened randomly. I'm currently on a 5 year dry streak and know exactly how you feel
Everyone’s got that like, one person they’re fucking hung up on no matter what, right? Like someone that you really think is your soul mate but life and timing in general just never works out?
I’m finally out of a long ass toxic relationship and right when I left that bitch, my “soul mate” gets fucking engaged to this ex-military douchebag that of course proposed to her literally like 5 fucking months into dating. Whatever, she’d been engaged before and it didn’t work out. Figured this wouldn’t be any different.
Well now they’re having a child together and something just feels so fucking permanent about their relationship now. I feel like a part of me has been ripped out. I should be happy for her because we’ve been good friends for a long time but I just can’t help feeling angry that it’s not me that she ended up marrying and having a child with.
Growing up I never saw my parents hug or kiss or say I love you, I only remember them arguing and getting divorced and since a very early age I thought all relationships end with the two people hating each other. Whenever a girl liked me in school I'd just cry and everyone though I was weird. Eventually I did have one girlfriend and I've even had sex a few times. Now I'm 34 and starting to feel like I'm missing out on a big part of life.
I dunno man, the world is literally out to fucking get me and I don't think anyone is doing anything.
so, you know what user? I'm about to fuck the world in the ass back.
> I don't know your specific situation user, but something that helps me in those kinds of predicaments is remembering that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Even if it goes to shit, you'll never know until you try
FUCK YEAH BRO, WE'RE TAKING FUCKING SHOTS UNTIL WE DIE.
That's rough man. I know that feel too, the girl I used to believe was my special someone got married after just 6 months to a literal inbred guy. Not kidding, he was inbred. If it hurts, like really hurts down to the core of your being the best advice I can give you is to cut ties completely. It sucks to hear I know, but you'll only wind up driving yourself mad. It took me two years of therapy to get over it and I still csnt stand the sight of her without feeling like I'm going to vomit my entire organ system up
Chin up my man. We all deserve someone who will stay by us no matter what, and I'm sure you'll get yours too someday
There’s a pretty redhead at work who I’m realizing sees me as a weird old guy. The years crept up on me.
Start learning to code. Over the course of 4 years I taught myself web development in my very limited free time. I have no degree and I now make $75k. I mostly just Google shit and show up to meetings and people think I’m some kind of rocket scientist.
You're not alone user. While my parents did hug and kiss and such they too wound up hating each other for a long time. Have you tried any dating sites or bar hopping to meet women? I know it sounds a bit cliche, but alcohol tends to help me when I'm too nervous to talk to someone I like
Careful with thoughts like that user, it could be a sign of schizophrenia. I encourage you to think logically about your situation. Is there something in particular that's bothering you?
Such is life I'm afraid. I myself am more attracted to younger gals that also see me as a bit of an old man. However I've seen happy couples with 30 years of age between them so it's not impossible. Why do you think she thinks that about you? Has she said so?
Glad someone can relate because I’ve been too embarrassed to actually discuss this with anyone in person as we’re all one big circle so I can’t really mention it.
Shit just hurts so much, man. The night her ex-fiancé broke it off with her, I was the first person she wanted to see but I was dating someone at the time and she had insisted on being present when my friend showed up(jealous af bitch but I mean, she was aware that I’d probably run away with her if she asked).
My “soulmate” looked so deflated when she showed and saw my then-gf present.
I always think about how different my life would’ve turned out if I’d have just broken up with that toxic cunt sooner…. Shit weighs so hard on me every day. Especially lately after finding out my friend is pregnant.
I always dwell on the fact that I fucked up good friendships with multiple women because I lacked the emotional intelligence to realize that just because they were nice to me did not mean they wanted to date me
>Have you tried any dating sites
Romance makes me very uncomfortable, I especially hate talking about it with family when they ask me why they've never seen me with a girlfriend. Locker room talk among guys makes me very uncomfortable too but I don't even have any friends right now anyway. Relationships of any kind make me uncomfortable and I only want to hang out with my mom and my brother.
It's hard for me to image a dating situation I'd feel comfortable in. I'm always worried that people are going to ask why I don't have more money, a better car, a better job. I hate it when people make me feel like I'm not good enough. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I know I have to get out of my comfort zone and attempt to have a relationship with the opposite sex. I don't want to be alone forever
I’m living a dead end life and one moment is haunting me. Back in high school (over a decade ago) I ended up going to the movies with a girl. She wrapped herself around my arm, clearly looking to kiss. I was to nervous to make a move and things fizzled out. She ended up dating and marrying a friend of mine. Her family is wealthy and got him a good job, bought them a house, the whole thing. I sometimes see them and can’t help but think that if I had just kissed her in the movie theater, that could’ve been my life.
I'd give you a hug if I could man. I know that kind of pain and regrets thinking about what could have been. The best thing we can do is to focus on the future we can still have and try our very best to achieve it. In the meantime, maybe try to find a hobby to help get your mind off of things. I personally game alot but there's plenty of opportunities out there for other things too
I'm afraid of what might happen to me in the future. I start to imagine possible scenarios of where I end up and it always ends up with me killing myself as a contingency plan. Fuck me.
Same thing happened to me, except I don't know what happened to the girl.
I worship death and I know it’ll be the end of me.
I see her demeanor shift when she’s with younger colleagues. Like she’s them as peers and she’s just being polite. To me, I feel like university was just a year or two ago where I would be charming by being goofy and irreverent. Now I’m 30 and now it just feels like people are wondering why I’m not figuring life out and settling down.
It's a common mistake that alot of us make user. Try to take it as a learning experience
This sounds like something you may want to take to a professional therapist about user. I can only speculate, but your fear sounds overwhelming and may be something that takes alot of work to overcome. But with perseverance I know you can do it. I believe in you bud
Living in the past is a terrible thing for your peace of mind user. We can't change the past, and it is possible that yeah that could have been you instead. You'll need to come to terms with it in your own way. When I went to therapy they taught me something that may help.
Imagine you're holding a glass of water straight our in front of you. You can hold it for a long time, but after a few hours it starts to get heavy. After a day or two you can barely hold the arm up. You have to find a place to set it down. It doesn't mean you have to forget where you left it, but to remember why you left it there is what's important. Sending good vibes your way user
I appreciate it dude.
I think she’ll always have a place in my heart and honestly, even if she’s got a kid that ain’t mine, I’d still drop it all to give it a chance.
You’re right though, I need to focus on me and just discover myself more.
Thanks for the kind words.
I wish I didn’t know. I’ve had multiple interactions over the years and it feels like an unresolved tension, like a wistful regret. Making her laugh was the worst.
There's so much I could be doing to better myself if my employer would pay me on time.
About to go for the OSCP cert
I deal with suicidal thoughts regularly user. It's a rough thing, but just remember they're only thoughts. You have to power to shape your future into anything you want, as long as you put forth the effort to achieve it.
Perhaps it is true and she does only see you as a weird old guy, but you could be pleasantly surprised. Maybe try inviting her and some other friends bowling or something along those lines. Somewhere she can get to know you from a non-work environment
You're very welcome user. I just know I wish someone would have talked to Mr when I was going through my rough patches in life so I try to extend that kindness, even if it's on a Taiwanese basket weaving forum
Employers can be a mixed bag for sure. If you haven't already speak to him. Make sure you're firm in your request but not overbearing. Your not in the wrong to expect to be paid on time my friend
Inviting a young person bowling with other older people is the last thing you’d do to dispel the notion that you’re a weird old guy.
My laziness, the lack of motivation, 0 fucks given by my parents regarding my future.
It's just a suggestion user. There's the arcade if you have one in your area, fishing if that's your jam, you can host a game night even. The possibilities are there and I'm sure you can find one that fits the situation
My drinking drove away my dream girl who I couldn’t believe was interested in me in the first place. She was completely right by cutting ties and it hurts that how maturely she dealt with it made me love her more. Now I drink even more and it only solidifies how right that she was.
It sounds like a classic case of depression user. I don't know your parents so I may be wrong, but they more than likely care about you in alot of ways you're just not realizing. Talk to them about how your feeling would be my suggestion
I could invite her to do mdma and walk around the park near my place
Are you addicted to the drink user? I know alcohol can help with pain at times, but it's important that you stay in control instead of the other way around. It's never too late to quit, but you gotta do it for yourself.
That is certainly an option. I've never done mdma myself so I don't know how it effects people but make sure she's OK with it before you ask so your not digging yourself a hole
Everytime I make new friends some shit happens and I go in hard depressed mode, where I won't talk with anyone and isolate myself for months. Of course I feel bad about it and can't bring myself to talk with them again, even if I made up with them it would just happen again someday. Last time it was two girls I really cared about but my depression was stronger. At this point I'll actively avoid making friends as it's the only way to not hurt anyone, but it feels like shit for me.
this is me too
Try explaining to them what you're going through. I know as men we have a tendency to hold our feeling back and not let on what we are feeling but alot of times people are understanding when it comes to these things. If they're really your friends they'll understand
They probably would, but how many times is too many? Honestly I already feel like an asshole for expecting to be forgiven once, I don't want to think about putting someone through 4 or 5 cycles of that shit. It's not fair for them.
Just let them know that it isn't personal and that it's something you have a hard time dealing with user. They'll probably be alot more supportive than you think
I got my girlfriend’s best friend fired from her job and I now I feel bad because she’s in a really dark place
Loved me a bit too much, I'd say. They were spoiling me during my childhood. So much that my mom was doing my home work for me up until 5th grade while I was playing outside.
What was the reason if I may ask?
I'm willing to bet they still care an awful lot about you. Sure they may have been overly affectionate, but it sounds like it came from a good place
felt deeply in love with a straight guy (classic, i know)
knew him for over 10 years
I already knew that nothing real could ever happen between us, but just hanging out with him gave me a lot of comfort and stability.
We used to be really close friends but after he got a girlfriend he just ditched our friendship almost overnight...
he doesnt give a shit about me even though I accommodate his needs at every turn and now he only uses me for non physical benefits (helping him with his work, accepting gifts, running errants) and he has no qualms about it. And i enable it because I love him too much.
I dont want to ruin the memory I have of him, so I keep blaming myself...even though I know factually its probably not the case. The few years we were close friends are the happiest I've felt in my life.
it totally kills my sense of self worth and its very painful to slowly realise the one human being I care for the most in this world has no empathy towards how i feel and could treat me in this way.
She always tried to drive a wedge between us and was generally possessive
How long as he been with her user? It's possible that it's not a personal affront towards you but more he's just living his life. Have you tried talking to him?
I can understand your frustration. Does she know it was you that did it? If not maybe you can forge a good friendship with her yourself
I desperately want to fuck her and knocking her down a few pegs is step one.
You're more than likely going to ruin the relationship you already have of you do that. Are you sure thats what you want?
You know... I feel like people aren't treated as people unless they're fitting in a certain stereotype. Every time you try to do something differently, you're getting slapped over the knees, hard. And it feels like literally every corner and crevice of this world is being controlled by someone, someone that bought his way there. It's so tiring sometimes to keep on fighting this but at the same time, it's extremely hard to settle with the norms when you were raised by a family who told you all your life not to be normal, not to be common. Fuck man. It's killing me.
And it also feels like, you know, you don't fit, they make you feel bad, miserable, push you to the edge, then just to come and say "we don't know why this person is on the edge, get him medicated, get him docile". A shitshow.
I'm going to go and drive, redline a little.
There truly are some people in high places that don't deserve to be there, but there have been many great men that changed history by challenging the norm, and doing things their own way. Be safe user, don't get yourself killed
tfw no gf
Nothing makes me happy anymore
Sounds like you suffer from depression user. Do you take any medications or speak to a therapist?
Never taken meds never been to a therapist