Ask a cop anything and get a serious answer

What watch do you wear

All Criminals Are Black

Ever busted a butthash dealer with kilos of butthash on him? If so, did you declare the butthash or did you poopsmoked it?

Must be fucking nice, I've been in the background check phase now for 4 months, they claim the officer whos in charge of them has been "pretty busy"

We have not had any serious issues with corruption. The only form we see is minor favoritism for promotions and assignments.
Our Sheriff's Office though just went through a whole review and let a lot of higher ups go after what they found.
I think the increased scrutiny is good for things like that, not as good for other things.

Do you have quotas for activity?

Best way to get out of a parking ticket?

Acab?! That's pretty racist guy. Not all criminals are black...

Do you guys go after people who drink and drive or do you try to leave them alone?

I've never been bothered by the ACAB stuff, and it's always hilarious when someone with that mindset calls us for their vehicle breakin or online harassment and has to pretend they're not like that.

If a bank is robbed, who would be first to respond: municipal, county, or state police? Or would the feds instantly respond ?

Are most cops heavy drinkers? Does the job make marriage difficult?

I hate watches personally and I have a department issued phone so I usually don't wear one. You can always tell harder cops by watches though. Cops with smart watches are not on shifts that go hard and try to find stuff, because they know they'd last a week max.

How many collars do you have?

Our last kilo sized bust was a year or more ago and I wasn't part of it. And drugs are bad mmkay. But I might have to bring up "butthash" at briefing.

OP you skipped my question.

Backgrounds are a bitch to complete for law enforcement because they really have to dig deep if they are a good department. But yeah, if they really thought highly of you, they'd be rushing yours faster than that. So you're either not a priority hire for them, or they're fully not interested, sorry.

Quotas are actually semi-illegal around here because they say it clouds officer judgement. But that being said, if you start falling behind on traffic or citizen contacts you'll hear about it subtly, then less subtly, then as part of a formal meeting.

well i don't have any rude remarks for you but i'd love to wish you a good night

If you get pulled over with a shitload of drugs in the car and they ask to search, what is the best way to get out of this? I would think if you are too intense about saying "no" they'd just bring the dogs, so you want to be cool and casual, but if you say "yes" maybe a good searcher will find it. How should you act to move things along with the lowest risk? Follow on question, where in the car is the best place to hide drugs? Thanks.

Alright.
The cops you see in the bodycam vids(shootouts) wear g-shocks often

How do i get away with dui?

Don't park like a jackass or leave your car longer than you have to. I mean that beat avoidance. If you're in a smaller place where the traffic court is over worked, you can call and bitch and say you'll fight it the whole way and they might drop it because it's not worth it and the next 20 tickets will get paid with no hassle.

Depends, a DUI is a ton of work and paperwork. If it's blatant and right in front of us we won't ignore it, and if it's a slow night we might be around the bars. But if we're 4-5 reports down by 2300 we will be far the fuck away from bars.

Do you ever fear that with time you yourself may become corrupt like many other people do when given power/authority for extended periods of time?

What about if you get caught speeding? Best way out of that?

Thanks.

If one of our banks was robbed City PD would respond, ask the Sheriff's Office for assistance. If guns were fired state police would handle the investigation, if not it would be ours. The Feds would be notified next day and asked if they needed anything or wanted to help.

My sgt got canned and pngd for being a active brand associate. Happens a lot over here. Can I assume you’re in a smaller dept? I’m in California in a very very large agency. Stay small user.

Most cops drink because most cops are young and want to drink regardless. The job has pros and cons for marriage. The schedule is odd but you have more days off than a 9 to 5. If you can't keep them separated then yeah you'll freak out your spouse or have her pissed about you always being stressed and angry. If you handle that shit yourself then it's just a job.

What's a smaller city?

A city that is not as big as a larger city.

Can you please shoot yourself?

Felony arrests? Probably around 120.
All arrests combined excluding tickets? 250ish.
We don't turn every case over to detectives like some departments. I do my own investigations, my own interviews, and write my own arrest warrants for everything except sex assaults and homicides.

Answered your question here:

Do you beat your wife?

Nobody saying ACAB is doing that though. They realize cops are completely useless in those cases.

Haha thanks

do you guys end up feeling segregated from society after awhile? like you feel as if you can't relate to society after your experiences as an officer and the hidden side of humanity that you see daily? you guys have civilian friends still?

Have you been of sex with the criminal

not the cop, but I get out of speeding tickets by submitting a written defences.

step 1 is to delay as long as possible without going over your due date. This may vary by state but here you are allowed two extensions on top of the 3 ot so month deadline to pay your fine.

after months of stalling I submit a meandering essay detailing why they should not have given me that ticket. cops can't be bothered with that shit.

at what point in you career did you feel like something clicked and you said, "ok, I'm actually an officer," instead of just being a newbie in uniform trying to become that role?

fuck off esl

If you consent to search, we will find the drugs 99% of the time. All of us are good searchers. If they have a reason to run the dog they will, no getting around it once they have their suspicion. Your denial of consent can't be used to initiate a sniff though.

If you want to hide drugs so they can't be found, take apart the doors or dash, put them in there, and seal it so it looks like you never tampered with it. That's the only way to beat a roadside search. If the dog hits though we will tow that car to our impound, get a search warrant, and take it to pieces if we have to.

The easiest way to move stuff is to drive a normal looking car, drive normal, don't start driving super strict when you see a cop, and don't have a reputation. If the cops already know you have someone else move stuff.

G shocks and Ironman are both popular, whatever will survive repeated times going to the ground or is cheap enough to replace twice a year.

In my country, the only cops with firearms are the ones on specialist armed response units while the rest carry sticks, mace and sometimes tasers.
How would you feel if orders came from the top restricting your toolbelt to non-lethals only?

Don't do it.

Seriously, you can't control your driving well enough to not get pulled over if we're following you. You can't control your body language or smell. We can see your eyes move differently with alcohol in your system.

The only way to beat a dui is get a cop who is too behind on reports to want to arrest you, or get a rookie who will fumble it and you'll get it dropped in court. But you don't control either of those.

What would it take to bribe you out of giving a ticket? Boobs? Money? Blackmail?

Cool. Follow on to that, what is the most innovative place you've found any kind of contraband hidden? I've always thought if contraband was hidden someplace gross, like inside a dirty baby diaper or such, then the cops wouldn't want to deal with it, or is that the obvious place to look. I really appreciate this. It is so interesting. I'm a doctor so you can ask me any question about that in return (if any, since this is a pretty fucking boring job).

What do I do when I am eventually arrested? Get a lawyer?

Do they teach you that bullshit or is that part of the application process?

When he beat up a nigger and got away with it

The issue is I don't have power or authority for extended periods. I represent authority, but I only use authority over someone in maybe 30% of my calls. The rest I'm just settling arguments or talking only to a victim. And when I'm not on calls I'm a patrol officer, I'm the lowest rung in our department. And furthermore, the calls where I have to use authority over someone are the worst calls, because they always mean an argument, a report, probably arrest paperwork. They're awkward and annoying and I don't look forward to them and I can't imagine I ever will.

situations that made you lose your composure in the presence of a subject or suspect? whether that be to get overly angry, fit of laughter, or otherwise emotional?

how do you know if the traffic court is overworked?

Don't do it.

Our radar and lidar (laser speed measurement) just get you so easily. You can try the same strategy and try to make yourself seem like a pain in the ass to get it dropped, and you can try to get the certification records for the machine pulled (that's a bitch and they might drop it instead). But if they are willing to go to court you're screwed, the case was over the second they got you on the machine.

Y are you a pig that doesnt believe in human rights

Yeah we're less than 80 sworn out here.

10-30,000 people

Nah wouldn't be worth it atm.

law student here: how political is your precinct? i know that there are some states where you faggots treat each other like brothers/sisters and other states where you all try to capitalize on each other's mistakes for career gain. our situation is of course the latter

No, most cops don't because we know how insanely shitty a domestic violence charge is for your life.

I'm an EMT in texas and I'm interested in moving into law enforcement. I'm going to apply when I'm done with my degree but im worried that past drug use (lsd/mushrooms more than 5 years ago) could fuck me, (I don't want to lie about it) is this reasonable? I live in a fairly liberal city if it helps.

I asked you a question, what do I do when I eventually get arrested? I was not joke

Thanks for sharing! 'preciate ya.

DONT SAY SHIT ABOUT IT UNLESS THEY CAN FIND SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR DRUG USE. That shit's way out of your system by now. Just don't fucking break.