Job secrets thread

Job secrets thread

Post you're job. Share le secrets, stories, randomness etc

>rules: obviously no locations, names etc

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Fag op here, I'll start

Job: financial crime analyst at a large bank

>laid back as fuck
>no real pressure to be perform, all kpi based (personal kpis met - the more you do, the better duh)
>women can be horny and flirty as fuck
>colleagues work other odd jobs eg in supermarkets

I interned at a baltimization plant in Baltimore last summer. Pay sucked but it was all you can eat chicken every day.

forgot to mention, pay is good but some people work other odd jobs simply to pass time cause theyre bored

what was the pay like

Chicken feed. Just enough scratch to get by.

I work for an NGO in Africa
>You win by lying
>Lie about your qualifications to foreign donors
>Write shit that exoticizes the people you're trying to help
>Get grant
>Eat grant, claim credit
>Rinse and repeat


>way overbid on everything
>stick as many FTEs on a project as possible to jack the cost up
>work half as many hours as we bill for
>half the people on an any given assignment literally have no idea what they’re doing
>intentionally let some things get fucked up so the client will pay us to fix it
Etc etc

I fucking hate this job. I left the normal corporate world for this thinking I’d get away from the politics and actually do interesting work that’s above and beyond what I’ve been doing… it got worse.

I've gone through that ringer and can unfortunately confirm

I jack off at work almost daily. Usually around like 2 pm. I lock the door on my office and watch porn on my phone.

I got caught once, but for whatever reason the girl chose not to make a big deal out of it.


You work a bullshit job, you'll pay your bills but feel empty as fuck.

Oh I mostly just do tech support and cyber security at my company btw. People think it's really amazing work, by I mostly just help out boomers and reply to emails.

Yeah no shit. Most money I’ve ever made though.

Worked at Procter & Gamble
They were inspected yearly by the FDA because "Head and Shoulders" is a drug, apparently
The area, the making system area, where the product was mixed, was the dirtiest fucking place ever.
There was literally handfuls of dirt, grime, and old oils on the top of the mixing tanks and tubes that fed it.
This should be inspected and cleaned, but the FDA never goes in there so...whatevs.
That product you think that's made in a pristine area? That's a lie.
Nasty fucking place.
Location: Iowa city, Iowa.

I fuck your mom for free tendies

Not really a job secret but kind of shocked to learn. At least in my area the McDonald's have like a whole underground area where the employees chill and store things.

It is extremely easy to find nudes of most people who let you repair their pc.
Either in a folder or account bc they never log off

This is every millennials job essentially. Each of my corporate slave friends and my wife included tell me that's basically all they do.

If it pays well sounds like the dream to me. No stress and fuck around a bit not to mention your body not being in shambles due to hard labor.

Yeah it's not horrible. They let me work from home 4 out 5 days and it's basically like when I was a NEET, but instead I get an above average wage. I doubt it's sustainable for the economy, but I'll keep profiting from it as long as it keeps giving.

It's crazy how unproductive and entitled baby boomers actually are. Kind of ironic given the paradigm that we all believe. We think that millennials are entitled and have no skills but it's literally the other way around in most instances.

>Work for the largest government-funded private-governed organization in Greece.
>61 million euros every year in revenue. (from mandatory subcriptions)
>The administration (elected every 5 years) fucks shit up to the point of ordering souvlakia every day with taxpayers' money.
>They hire everyone that can get them re-elected.
>The central government knows all about but in turn turn a blind eye so that they in turn can be relected.

I want to leave that shithole like crazy. Have set up an interview with an accounting company for a good job, wish me luck bros.

Depends on how you define millennials if you're including the very beginning to the early 90s I would agree for the most part. Anything later I think is kind of an issue due to the internet being a bit more prevalent and just general changes in how we interact, many are lacking actual skills. I'm not necessarily referring to social but as simple as changing a car tire or other things that come with fixing the car. The same issues with basic (like entry level plumbing) and renovations in the home. I'm not saying boomers are right about everything or millennials being lazy but a lot of those skills "life skills" have been lost to a degree.

I know that this is a secret company thread but isn't this shit obvious given their history?

There are people in here that really feel like they're contributing. Sad thing is, they are also the overwhelming minority.

>but for whatever reason the girl chose not to make a big deal out of it.
How do you know? What did she say?

Not to be a racist piece of shit but I had a friend who moved here from Greece. I talked to him about the shit that went down where things went tits up and he told me it's part of the culture. A lot and when he said a lot he meant A LOT do shady shit when it comes to businesses. That they don't trust others and view them as bad guys for doing the very same thing they hate. Again not trying to be a piece of shit he just told me if you lived there and had half a brain you knew shit was going to hit the fan.

Not much, she wished me a good weekend on the end of that day and later sort of jokingly told me I probably shouldn't do stuff like that at work. She didn't complain to HR or anything like that.

It's in culture but it was also reinforced a lot by political leaders in 80s and 90s. They put us too deep into it and we won't get out anytime soon

You're not being a piece of shit, it's part of the culture. Thing is, if this was the administration's money on the line there would be at least an element of management.

Shit like that got the place fucked. Everyone cheats and steals when they know they'll get away with it, especially when they gamble with public money.

So you bouncing to another country?

I'll try and make it work right here for now. I'm recently married so packing and leaving is too much (for now).

Very true when it comes to blue collar skills. I tried to change a god damn tire a few months ago and it had one of those key wrench lugs on it and I HAD to let AAA do it.

Alright man good luck.

I work in a machine shop that gets a lot of our product from China. Some of the parts are mostly finished and all we have to do is machine a finished bore before we stamp "Made in U.S.A." on them. Some of them are machined blanks that are the rough shape/size and we remove only about 1/8 inch max from the outside dimensions, but we still have to fully machine the bores and other internal features. The whole "buy American made products" thing is really a big push by unions and construction workers to make people feel good about paying inflated prices.

this thread is like old Yea Forums
thank you

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So it's all bullshit? Why do construction workers and unions give a shit? I mean are they getting a slice of the profits as well as I just don't understand their incentives.

I worked at a large cable/internet company. My team of 8 accountants could have been 2. The boomers don’t trust excel to do the math so they recheck everything with a 10key. They then take the work done in excel and manually put it into the accounting software instead of just using an upload template. I could get my work for the whole month done in 3 days, spent the rest of the time fucking off while pretending I was busy while they all complained how much work they had.

They can make your internet super fast for no cost to them but they won’t because they know you’ll pay for it. In fact their internet was so fast that they were just waiting for competitors to catch up, see what they’d charge and undercut them.

Making turbine parts?

My last job was field service for point of sale equipment.

>most of our customers were small businesses or local chains
>largest account was through Oracle supporting Sonic drive-ins
>85% of our customers had dirty kitchens
>roaches were common
>sometimes I'd repair equipment with parts that would fail in the next few months if the end-user was an asshole
>pay sucked but was a decent stepping stone to my current job

Current job is less exciting but pays a lot more and gives me more time to shitpost here.

I don't think they're dumb, I've worked in places that do something similar and they did it in order to keep their job. The other thing they said is they didn't want to bother learning something new (gets harder as you age) and felt comfortable with their drawn out methods.

Someone's dumb if people are hand-checking Excel math and getting paid for it.

Independent consulting is harder, but way more satisfying. At least in software.

They care because traditionally the unions and construction workers are all about "the American dream" and part of that is only buying products made in the U.S.A. Hell when was the last time someone bought a vehicle from one of the Big Three that was made entirely in the U.S.A. without any foreign components?

I can't blame some of the larger companies for outsourcing to China though. They can pay the Chinese machine operators the equivalent of $7.11 an hour vs paying a US working $16 to $22 an hour to perform the same tasks. Even with the cost of shipping the products on a boat it is still cheaper than paying me to machine thousands of the same part from round stock every year.

Supervisor at a residential program for male youths with problematic or criminal sexual behaviors. No, im not kidding.

>we never have enough staff and it's dangerous
>sometimes, we don't even have drinking water for the kids
>some kids come in to the place as virgins with internet addiction and come out with actual sexual trauma from peers
>been here just over a year, found 3 staff being "inappropriate" with kids. They're fired but it seems high to me.
>the program houses males as old as 21, and kids as young as 10. Yeah, there are plenty of pedos.
>all the staff want the place to close down because it's so badly run and the only reason we keep showing up is each other and some of the kids.
>99% of the time it's the parent's fault. The other 1% were adoptions where it was actually the bio parent's fault. You don't have to abuse your kids, just neglect is enough. many. I've stopped kids from anheroing, killing each other, fucking each other, running into woods, etc. They sometimes succeed though and I've seen cheeks sliced apart all sorts of broken bones, 10 yr old flashers banging their head against the floor while simultaneously masturbating in front of you because you said "clean your room or you dont play vidya".
It can be fun and painful.

I worked for the aviation authority for a spell in a place that sees heavy international air traffic. What a trip it was being in control of an entire airport. Fundamentally it was the most demanding and brutal job I've ever had the satisfaction of knowing. I implore you; don't work for the airport unless you're made of cold-rolled steel. I absolutely proved that I could do it, that I did have the stuff to hold that position. Believe me when I tell you it was rigorous training, knowing both police and fire rescue protocalls as well as aviation guidelines. Ultimately I bugged out when I realized the job could kill me, or involve me in the deaths of tens to hundreds of souls. Also fun fact, the human body was not designed to thrive while working during the night, and sleeping during the day. If you have a night job, and especially a very demanding one, it is shaving years of your life off of you; I promise you that.

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To be fair, it's still better than machined, assembled, and packaged in China. Not the improvement we should be looking for, but an improvement.

Myself mostly jawed coupling hubs for mechanical power transmission. Most of the products my company makes goes into the the oil and gas industry, mining industry, and agriculture industry. We do make universal joints that go in heavy machinery such as excavators and tractors as well. I know some of our parts can be found in wind turbines and electrical power plans also.

That last part is the absolute truth brother and more people should know. What gig did you end up switching to?

Not really a swcret but hen I was 16 I worked in the movie theater. I would just sit in the projector booth and watch people have sex. Fingers, oral, penetration, everything. I would just sit there and watch adults and literal children fondle eachother.

Hah, I knew a couple that got arrested for having sex at a literal children's movie.

They sound stupid.

There are thousands (if not millions) of jobs in the US doing this exact type of thing. Maybe the whole part isnt 'made in the usa', but by buying something with that stamp you are still hepling to provide all of those jobs.

True, but sometimes with the geared couplings all we do is just cut the gear teeth in them and stamp them with the RSB (rough standard bore) part number and "Made in U.S.A" before putting them in the box and sending the parts to the customer. Once the teeth are cut they typically go in a bin in a storage location until they are needed for a customer order, whether it is a finish bore size or just stamping with the RSB part number. Typically with the finished bores they get a keyway cut at the very least, but most also get at least one set screw hole machined.

You mind doing Humanity a little favor?
>Obtain AR-15
>Come in at busiest time
>blow away as many co-workers as possible

You're unlikely to survive but at least you will have destroyed a few wretched freeloading parasites.

I got sacked and put on disability with a personality disorder after I kept sending scat porn to my boss and supervisors. I'm not allowed too work.

I work for the government and do less than half the work I would do if I was in the private sector.

I am late at least 15 minutes every day. I cannot be fired for anything less than a criminal offense. If things get really tough at work, I hire a contractor to take care of it for me. My retirement and benefits plan is such that I will retire a millionaire. And I make 125k a year.

Folks in the private sector get hosed and they don't really know it. If they knew what I know, they'd be small government Libertarians too

I'd argue they have to be pretty smart if they can get a company to keep paying them to do it.

Yeah I called the manager on a few here and there for the same reason. Most people chose the distant theaters on the ends of the building to fuck. They are often shitty kids movies that didn't sell many tickets and only have 2 or the other people in them. I narcd on one couple in an ice age movie because there were elementary school kids in there.


Do you want to know the sick joke of it all? The physical demands of that job, the mental stress and the double red-eye shifts, that earned me less dough than slinging cellphones. I went to work for the cellphone industry and made way more money for comparatively little work, but still a hustle none the less. The wages they pay these men and women, it isn't enough.

I work at an oil recycling center crushing used oil filters.

>Come in 7am
>20min morning meeting where I, a humble shop worker, listen to the drivers plot their routes for the day while I sit on a couch being paid doing not much
>work in shop for 4 hours operating a fork lift and the giant filter crushing machine
>mostly hang out and play on my phone while machine crushes through filters
>hour lunch eat then take 40min nap
>after lunch run to unmanned gas station sites throughout town and make sure they have paper towels, windsheild washer fluid, receipt paper, and that the bathrooms are acceptably clean
>site run can be done in a half hour
>take two hours to do it since noone supervises me
>get back to shop and organize and clean for the last hour or two of the day
>ezpz work aside from having to deal with homeless assholes tresspassing since there's a shelter next door to my work

Yep. For many products all that is required is at least one machining operation and then legally it can be stamped as "Made in U.S.A."

There is a significant cost savings for the corporations that do this. When COVID disrupted supply chains there were many times we made the parts out of round stock. Most of the parts the cycle time doubled, but for some it even tripled. Instead of 5 minutes to machine them on the lathe it was 10 to 15 minutes. For the stainless steel we typically just machine the bore from an RSB it went from a 7 minute cycle time to a 25 to 30 minute cycle time. Some of the larger parts that we sell less than 10 a year from stainless it can take an hour and a half to machine one on the lathe and then another hour and half to machine the jaws on the mill.

i work in a hotel...never use the facewashers to wash your face!!