How did your mother mess you up user? be honest

Well after seeing a therapist for about a year for some serious long term depression (Dysthymia), anxiety, and paranoia im realizing that I probably had a genetic predisposition to these things because of my mom. Only when I became a teen did I realize some of things she did was not right.

To start off, my mom is spiritual, not religious, and I think she thought she was a witch (or still does i don’t ask) so you already know she’s crazy. As a child she used to tell me we can control the wind with our hands and that fairies and mythic creatures were real and she could see them. And I could too if I tried hard enough.

Now looking back I thought she was just helping my imagination as a child but she kept insisting they were real when I grew older and knew better. I began to realize she’s wonky in the head. She believes she can see and talk to the dead and see the future.

On many late nights my mom would never sleep and walk around the house talking to herself, kind of in a trance. She drank every day and on a few different occasion when I was young she told me she was going to kill kerself but she would talk to me from heaven. Found out from my dad that all the times I saw her with injuries on her arms with bandages wasn’t from “eczema,” but self harm cuts.

She never ever went to the hospital but my therapist and I are under the belief that either 1. She is also Dysthymic and extremely religious, or 2. She actually is seeing things, so possibly a type of psychosis or schizophrenia. But she refuses treatment so I’m doomed to worry if I’ll become batshit crazy like her.

I’m hoping that because I’m being proactive with getting help I’m not nearly as fucked, but I’m around the age that she was when she started telling me about seeing dead people so I guess we’ll see.

And no, she wasn’t a Milf, so I gained nothing good from this

For example when she misbehaves I feel a strong urge to withdraw my love for her as a punishment - which is something my mother did to me so now I am repeating the pattern. Or I get angry because I feel like I am not a good enough father and I feel like yelling at her and making her feel not good enough.

No my mother is a nurse but she found the poem printed in the newspaper, really liked it and cut it out to read it to me. I guess she wanted to inspire me but it had the opposite effect.

My God this is crazy. I mean good for you for not giving in but shit that sounds so toxic. Especially withholding love when she misbehaves, that shit could cripple her and make her extremely submissive to you and men in the future. I'm guessing your mom isn't allowed to babysit your rugrat?

My mom used to make my half sister and me engage each other physically.

She was busted for being a pedo and went to prison but my sister and I have never had relationships with anyone else because we keep hooking up whenever one of us gets sad or drunk because it's how we were brainwashed

Nope. We live in different cities and she sees her over face time

Fuck it

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So how do you hold yourself back user from doing those things? Also do you know why your mom raised you in that manner?

By teaching me to put pussy on a pedestal. Took me a while to clear that up, and sometimes it even hurt.

More

Lol I've fucked Amanda before.

Girl is a ho with a huge pussy. She wanted me to shove a gigantic dildo in her pussy and then fuck her ass. Was hot

it was a bit of a combination of my mom and grandma.
overprotective like a parent would typically be with a girl instead of a boy. no girls, no going anywhere alone, all of it. really socially stunted me. top it off of being raised only by women, i'm definitely more effeminate than i should be as a guy.

i'd really be happy to be anyone but myself.

she didn't. All of my shit is on me

Were you not bullied for being a fag?

It basically comes down to what state I am in. If I am too stressed out by life I cannot stop myself in time so I do damage control after I've yelled at her... fortunately when she gets upset I "come to my senses" so I hug her and try to explain to her that daddy was wrong and she is not to blame and I try to comfort her and apologize. If i've been meditating regularly and have slept enough I feel the urge coming but I am able to see it as a "pattern" that was built into me but I don't have to continue. So I usually stay close to her, take a breath or two, try to ride the storm that is inside and when I come back to being calm I try to correct her behavior with words>

I also rely on my wife for help. We have an agreement where if one parent starts to lose control, starts yelling the other intervenes with hugs and kisses for the parent in need and reminds them to come back to love.

Green text time

>Left my dad when I was 5 for a nigger
>Bought me a puppy for my dad’s house without his knowledge knowing damn well he’d have to get rid of it, making me like him less
>As I got older she treated me worse and worse
>Had a small hole in a shirt once, grabbed it and ripped it wide open in the middle of a parking lot
>Was wearing worn out shoes once so they threw them away and sent me home without shoes
>Used me as an emotional punching bag
>By the time I was about 10 I hated the bitch
>I’d just chill in her (nice finished) basement playing PS2 and Diablo 2 all day
>Fuck that bitch

no, actually. i had friends and shit. but it was the real life equivalent of mmo friends. only hung out at school, only kissed girls at school, that kind of shit.
i also had retard/autist strength or some shit and was physically stronger than literally every guy i hung out with despite being skinny, so idk what that was, but people didn't fuck with me cause i shit on everyone in arm wrestling and bloody knuckles.

Necklace says Linda you fucking tard

Can you explain what makes you effeminate? Also why don't you like yourself?

I was raised as a religious fundamentalist. Was told never to fight back in school no matter how bad it was. Was given religious pamphlets to give to other people in school. I was a top student and could read entire books back to you in grade school. Had to drop out in the 8th grade because I was badly injured by another student. Got a brain tumor. Spent years recovering. Father died. Mother died. Met a woman who did nothing but use me and cheat on me after we got married. Thought I had to put up with it. No kids. Hopelessly lonely, so different from everyone else no woman will even talk to me unless it means giving them cash or buying them something.

>Constantly complaining to me about how my father is a piece of shit. Then at separate occasions lovingly tell me how I am exactly like my father.
Same here lmao. My parents are both fucked up in the head. I feel sick thinking about how much time I wasted with their fucking nagging. It's the main reason why now I prefer being alone and reliving my childhood and focusing on my career. I had relationships but I hate them now. Sex feels boring to me (even though it can be quite fun). I don't know what to do about all this.

sounds awesome, man

i've just noticed i can be a bit of a bitch in some ways, like mentally. female-style manipulativeness and shit. don't speak very loud either, and walk quietly.
as for my dislike of myself, it's because my mental traps feel insurmountable, so i'd like to wipe the slate clean and start over. it's not gonna happen, but it feels nice to wish.

yep, I didn't cheat yet I got cheated on a few times because I had to move to different cities for work. Fucking women. I blame my dad, too. Men need to be told to cheat and not put pussy on a pedestal.

Am I retarded for thinking that your parents still loved you?

Sheltered me, homeschooled me for four years and tried to turn me into a good Christian boy. Had a hard time dealing with bullies at school because of how she raised me. At 21 I’m still trying to get myself back on track, still can’t even stand up for myself. Thank fuck that she’s dead.

If they had loved me they wouldn't have raised me as a social retard. I was not allowed to have any friends, no birthday parties, no Christmas, nothing. I was a social outcast. I'm successful in my job but nothing near what I could have been.. and I have to do it completely alone because i can't deal with women in a rational way.

You remind me of this pic. This dog was raised by cats and behaves in that manner which was his environment. Would you mind explaining some of the manipulative shit you do?

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Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

black guy 1-0 your mommas pussy

>arm wrestling and bloody knuckles

We got a badass over here.

Lol you fucking larp

Have too many to post but this is by far the hottest one

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Tbf your
Parents sounded like they cared for you deeply cuz if no woman will talk to you it’s probably cuz you’re very fuckin ugly and that’s hard to love.

I mean I didn't know any of this from what you mentioned. From your first post I saw parents who were more misguided than anything else, encouraging you to spread the word. If you're so smart why haven't you figured it out yet? Not even trying to be an asshole here, just figured you would have been able to copy what those who were successful and integrate it into your own personality.

moar

like when i want to play a game with my friend, i'll start making small mentions about it every now and then, slowly working it into his mind. never outright saying "hey bro, lets do x", just hinting. the way i lie too, and some things i like in a less than masculine way(cute animals).

that was one of the big contests we had with each other.
arm wrestling was never even a struggle, and i didn't even bend my wrist cause they always bitched about cheating if you did that. i just held there, straight-wristed, and slammed them when i chose to.

I'm not ugly. I just don't have much in common with everybody else. I'm an IT manager at a billion-dollar asset bank. I'm successful in life but women want someone they have things in common with. My life is so much different than theirs that they can't understand me nor I them.

I want more info man, you're pretty interesting. Would you mind giving examples or explaining how you lie like women? Also have you found being blunt or suggestive more effective?

I don't have anything in common with most people. They were raised so much differently that they can't understand where I'm coming from. It's not just as simple as copying someone else's actions.

How is it not though, that's how we all learn. Also do they have to know where you are coming from? Me and my best friend are pretty different and honestly don't have that much in common but we click. Coming from the same place helps don't get me wrong but it's not necessary.

Not like that, unfortunately.

Ok that's disgusting.

you arent the only one with a fucked up childhood. you sound like a whiny egocentric

I didn't say I was the only one. That doesn't make it any easier to connect with people that weren't fucked up as many ways and times as me.

she was always wrong so I developed AIDS to spite her.

Start a family in Alabama

dude there are people out there who were sold to pedophiles as kids. you arent nearly as fucked up as you think you are. stop over-dramatising everything.

How do you not use your position to meet other women in IT or something? Aren't their conferences for this shit where you might be able to meet others who are socially retarded and make some sort of connection.

*there

>straight wristed

Yeah ok limp wrists

Ahh so ugly and autistic. Got ya

are you two still....

I don't think the guy's ugly, maybe a bit autisimo but not ugly.