Really hoping this doesn’t turn into a black eye…

Wait, seriously? How does that work? Do you think I might be able to avoid the black eye?

Potatoes are rich in starch, carbohydrates and vitamin C so they are highly effective in relieving pain and reducing the purple-green color of the bruise. Take a slice of potato and put it on the skin at least 2 times a day

Thanks Mom

Does your black boyfriend hit you?

Huh, well I hope it works because this is starting to get really nasty and I really don’t want to have a black eye when I go out this weekend. Do you think it might fix this by morning? I can’t really open it anymore

Attached: B138775D-A1D5-4AC2-8244-FD390AEC1D01.jpg (1232x1179, 402.59K)

For tomorrow... I don't think it will leave you feeling wonderful, but it will reduce the inflammation, and if you can, the cold potato will help you just the same, or the potato along with ice, as it decreases ice decreases pain, inflammation, swelling and muscle cramps

So no avoiding the black eye at this point? Do you think it’ll be better or worse tomorrow?

Stop talking shit and tie a rag with a frozen potato around your head, tell me the results tomorrow

Fair enough. Best I’ve got is a cold potato though, not frozen

Yes it will turn into a black eye
No you can't avoid it
is only useful if you got burned afaik
Grab a cold steak and use that to cool down the area

The important thing is that you put a fucking potato on your face, do it and tomorrow we will see

If you go to sleep as I mentioned, you tie it to your face, if it gets hot don't worry, the important thing is the potato itself

It’s only been like 2 hours and it keeps getting bigger. Is it gonna be worse tomorrow?

It’s starting to seem like this is less about me trying to avoid a black eye and more about you trying to get me to sleep with a potato tied to my face…

Lmao nigger stupid, just trying to help, you don't seem to believe me, as easy as googling "potatoes work for inflammation" and that's it

I already did your homework, fagot nigger

css.ch/en/private-customers/my-health/health-glossary/home-remedies/cold-potato-poultice.html

Anything else?, I send you a kiss on the swelling to see if you get better?, stupid fagot

Attached: 1542055409670.png (800x533, 416.86K)

Jeez, I was just fucking around. I’ve literally got the potato tied to my face right now. It feels really weird, but I’m hoping my eye is gonna be looking better tomorrow

Why are you so obsessed with how your eye is gonna look tomorrow? Why did you get kneed in the first place?

Also yes, I could use a kiss to make it better

Attached: 9140966F-DAF8-4383-816F-CFD5052F8A90.jpg (819x785, 253.42K)

It's funny to see yourself with a potato on your face, I know because I went through several fights and remembered my mom's advice, but don't worry, tomorrow it will be better if you leave the potato for a while

I send you the kiss also on the wound so that it tastes fast, muak

Attached: 1554951517034.png (768x520, 337.91K)

I got kneed during Brazilian jiu-jitsu. And I’m mainly just hoping that I can keep any bruising I have on my eyelid and not have it spread all the way around my eye. I just don’t want to have to deal with stares at work and feel like if it’s just on my eyelid, it won’t attract much attention

did you accidentally date a nigger?

kek nigga, that shit will show for 2 weeks atleast

Attached: 1639259011188.jpg (1760x1220, 225.1K)

you gotta bleed that shit bro

Two weeks? It’s not that bad, is it?

nah I fucked your mom and her nutsack got me in the face

its not bad but face skin is fragile and easily bruised

Anything black is bad, like so many things in life.

I feel like that ship has sailed lol

Attached: 25478C3F-29A2-487C-9C1B-8475D59CD25F.jpg (764x1307, 205.45K)

that’s a spider bite - A spider has bitten you and laid its eggs inside the bite.
The eggs hatch generally 15-25 days after being laid and the baby spiders will literally eat their way out.
Get to a hospital asap.

not everything ;)

Attached: EE2561EB-07A7-4FDE-95BC-66F376B73751.jpg (3045x1706, 772.94K)

If I wasn’t kneed extremely hard in that eye 3 hours ago, I might be inclined to believe you

Not the same guy but care to elaborate? Sparring match or something? My wrestling hobby sometimes gives me similar souvenirs.

Some hard no-gi rolling earlier today at BJJ. Took a knee to the eye passing guard.

>sometimes gives me similar souvenirs

How long do these souvenirs usually last?

The guy who kneed might have had a spider bite his knee, and they transferred over to their new host (you)

Show us potato tied to your face? Need to make sure it's done correctly.

Hope you haven't fractured any of your orbital bones

At this point I hope he has

Post potato face please

Attached: 4C343A3D-21A1-4D7D-990C-6A5D20A10FF3.jpg (497x617, 32.57K)

Suicide is the perfect crime

Never had it that bad but usually it settles in a week. I'd say 2 weeks in your case. Why are you so worried anyway? Carry it proudly and as a sign of experience.

Thanks chief, this is literally my fetish. Doesn't quite hit the same when I do it myself.

No witnesses, no crime

That's gonna be your look for the next week my guy. The swelling will probably go down in a few days, the bruising might linger for a couple weeks. Tell people you got it defending your asshole from a crackhead.

OP post potato face you fucking faggot

Nobody goes to jail.

Why?

Thanks, me too. I don’t think I have, but my eye is like sealed shut from the swelling now lol

Coz death.

Post. Potato. Face.

I don’t know. I just don’t want to deal with tons of stares at work and then at the bar this weekend. Not to mention getting bombarded with tons of “who kicked your ass?” questions

There is like 0% chance it does.

Jeez, you’re a persistent bunch, aren’t you? Lol

Attached: F5B928EF-4882-43C4-9AAB-97A8D2389BA7.jpg (1581x1996, 676.27K)

I assume you mean there’s a 0% chance it doesn’t?

Credit to potato face, but your eyebrows don't match OP my dude

>who kicked your ass?
"You should see the other guy."