Boys, I've got a drug test in about 2 weeks give or take. I smoked some weed yesterday. I need to get the THC out of my system as soon as possible. Any advice from fellow smokers? What do you advice? Any detox products? Thanks anons I really appreciate it.
>Inb4 you're a piece of shit stoner etc etc etc.
tell them it's none of their fucking business
It's according to how much you smoked and how often
why ask on Yea Forums? someone's just going to tell you to kill yourself
I'm small so can't really be that much by comparison to the average person. But I did smoke almost every day.
I wish.
You'd actually be surprised. I've actually gotten some incredibly solid advice here in the past on matters you wouldn't expect.
Kill yourself
Drink half gallon of cranberry juice a day.
Time restricted eating, 10 hr window max
Cardio daily
2 days b4 test eat super fat food and don't cardio
>Time restricted eating, 10 hr window max
What do you mean by this? Thanks for your advice user.
as long as it isn't hair test, drink lots of water and cardio you should be clean in about a week
How sure are you? Everything I keep seeing says 30 days. Pretty sure it's gonna be a piss test. How much cardio?
Google it faggot
Well I have. I'm asking here to ask for advice from people. It's not the same.
Move to a state where it's legal.
This is very true. It also unfortunately falls under company policy, which means they can tell you to fuck right off if you don't do it.
Worked at lab testing for a couple years.
100% it won't be a hair test that shit is like 400$ to have done.
They will just test your piss. weed takes about 2-3 weeks to get out of your system. But just drink lots of water between now and the test. Make sure you piss before you go to the lab so it isn't super concentrated. You don't want to drink a shit ton of water before the test or it will be dilute and they will make you re test but you don't want to be dehydrated or it will be too concentrated.
Not always the case. A lot of jobs in CA still drug test to keep up their "company policy."
Basically, companies that have sunken investment into drug testing and don't want to believe all those years of testing weren't worth anything
MedFag here
It’s gonna come up. So you’ve got a few choices.
Like the one guy said just an absolutely shit ton of cranberry juice. Note: you need cranberry juice or concentrate not the sweet sugary apricot/applejuice with some cranberry in it. Make sure it’s 100% cranberry juice or concentrate. It’s gonna be strong and bitter but you can cut it with water and pretend its Mio. This is gonna flush your kidneys and help to get it out.
No more alcohol. You think it’ll help you piss it just helps your body retain THC.
Don’t dilute, we can tell on the specimen. We can detect the PH levels and creative. It shows up as PPM not just positive or negative. So understand that the goal is not necessarily get it all out but get enough out into the double digits to make it appear as incidental (second hand).
Go online and get piss tests to check yourself dollar store ones work just as well so you can see how much you need to get out.
When doing the test get the first piss of the day out of you. Never use the first stream, even if that means you gotta drink more water and get up early.
You’re skinny which is good as THC binds to fat. Cardio is gonna help your body burn and piss it out, the fat load is to basically absorb what your body is releasing back in so it’s not as detectable.
It won’t be a hair test.
>2 years working in a chemical dependency and alcohol rehab center
Buy some fake piss and a heater. 100% pass chance.
It only takes 7 days without trying to go away.
Such garbage man.
Thanks for the advice user. I'll be drinking a lot of water.
Have a bump
Before the test (2 hours) eat a bunch of candy, drink a big bottle of cranberry juice with two big scoops of creatine monohydrate in it. Fill it back up with water and sip that. Piss three times before you go in. You'll pass up to 4 hpur window.
Youre welcome.
This is the only way. Don't bother trying to flush it out, too risky.
Thanks user. I don't really drink alcohol so I'm good on that. I'm gonna try some cardio but not sure how vigorous it should be. Thanks for all your advice.
So is having it the wrong temp, dumbass.
You dont need cardio. Just spike your insulin, get riboflavin (b6) in you, take creatine, and chug water. Piss three times before test and youre good. Its not hard.
Hmm how sure are you of this? What do you base it on?
Nigger they sell it with heating powder you add in the bathroom and it contains a temperature strip on the bottle. Some people don't deserve a job and you are one of them. Learn to Google.
This is also good accurate advice.
I think you'll be okay as long as you don't smoke or stick around with people smoking between now and when you actually test.
If I remember right you need to get it below 20 ppm on a cannabinoid reagent test. It could be 15. I don't really remember.
Just don't be stupid and smoke between now and then. 100% it will show up.
Its human physiology, retard.
Drink a lot of evaporated milk
How much though? And for how long?
Its not an exact science. I can gaurentee you've never done this. Good luck with your fraud charges.
What. Why?
...
Define "big bottle"
Only detox method that temporarily works is a 3 part system. Listen up. You'll need some fruit pectin. Some hot water and just as importantly some creatine and asparagus. You'll need to start on the creatine now. And tomorrow you are goijg to need to start eating asparagus. Then before the test you need to throw the pectin in the hot water and down it all at once. Twice. This acts as laxative and most importantly a diuretic. Then you'll need to pee at least once BEFORE the urine test. The creatine and the asparagus play vital roles as well. They make it pass both chemically and smell wise as fresh urine. No one is going to question that urine. This isn't fool proof but it has a very high success rate.
You're welcome and happy 420
Sincerely, the Yea Forums Jew
get your blood drained and replaced.
I don't use drugs because I am not a degenerate and I am successful in life. But I am smart enough and have seen enough of these threads to know this is what you must do to pass. And you won't get charges pressed against you faggot. Go back to fapping to Facebook photos newfag.
2L or 64 oz. It keeps ypur pee yellow (riboflavin b6)
You're a fucking idiot, my wife and mother did this and it turned out fine both times.
Asparagus is also full of vitamin b. So you won't need to take anything more but I recommend a multi vitamin. Just to really sell it.
You're a God damn idiot
Yep. You're confirmed full of shit. Also I didnt read.
My dad is the queen of England
>lso I didnt read
Obviously. That would have taken you a few secs and you're retarded.
Are you mad? Your jimmies seem a bit rustled.
Good for you faggot, it changes nothing I stated.
No. This method beats the test. It flushes your system enough to get it below the threshold while keeping the other markers in balance. No masking agents to flag either. But it doesn't "detox" the thc out of your system because that would be science fiction. Nothing else works other than fake or real bought urine. Nothing.
Just kys already tranny
Just get the fake stuff and you're golden pun intended.
You act like the drug tester is smelling the cup like its a glass of wine. Youre so stupid lol.
This sounds Based AF
Won't they watch me?
apple cider vinegar helps
Intermittent Fasting
If it's not for federal or state government jobs or probation parole get quick fix plus
NO, not unless you're on probation
And by flushes your system i mean the bladder kidneys and urinary tract. But it won't take it out of your kidneys, blood and hair. So unless it's a urine test it won't work. Because nothing detours it out except time.
It's a regular office job.
In a us lab they usually don't but check your appointment it might say ahat type of test goy have. You can always get the wizzinator.
No one is going to watch you spend the 50$ for the fake shit and don't risk your job.
Why are they drug testing for that?
Hydrate, piss, shit and sweat as much as possible. Thats the only way to get it out of your system and everything else is bullshit. More thc leaves your system through shit than anything else so eat lots and shit lots.
If I were to get that shit, how would I even know exactly when they'll test me? I don't even really know.
Quick fix plus and tape it to your thigh just incase they make you empty your pockets. I work at a head shop trust me bro
It's a standard job drug screen. I've done nothing more than smoke weed. I don't even drink.
It's a bottle of fake pee you microwave and pour in the cup
100% they will fail him for being out of temp and then they'll make him do an observed test withput letting him leave.
Just use the included heater and he'll be fine. Are you fucking retarded?
No, I work for the DEA.