Your most amazing, awkward, embarrassing, epic, etc. sexual experiences?

Have a thrresome with the sisters

My first time having seks I couldn't cum.

Was this before or after you had that VW bus of cheerleaders break down outside your holiday house that one summer you spent alone?

>Another one since I'd like this thread to take off.

So OP is samefagging with LARP

I'm OP. That's not me. I don't greentext ever.

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I'm not op you absolute nigger. Go outside and get some pussy.

In college I used to fuck Jesse Teplow's best friend.

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Me 17, hs gf 16.
sunday afternoon studying at her house,
couch, blanket over us. I'm fingering her.

Her mother walks in.
My beta ass tries to retrieve the hand,
she gripped my hand between her legs inside her wet pussy so hard that I could do anything.

Her mother ask if we want snaks.
We both say yes, she leaves. I end fingering her.

This was over 25 years ago.
Of all the sex I've had, all the women, and all the kinky stupid shit I've done,

nothing has ever top that rush.

The first time I did xans with my friends and one invited his gf and some of her friends around
Long story short, I took to much and got taken by the benznesia God, woke up the next day to dozens of messages
A really ugly fat girl had blacked out too and had filmed and posted vids of her and her less ugly friend riding and sucking my dick on her snapchat story while I was lying there visibly fucked up, slurring my words and kissing up on them
I think it’s kinda funny now but I was so embarrassed at the time and skipped school for like 2 weeks

Tried to fuck sister many times with no success because she had to keep up the act of being offended by me fucking her little sister, you know. Had the chance to take her home once, but she was so hammered I didn't want to risk getting v& for taking advantage of her. Oh well

Caught sexting my aunt by my cousin. Now it'll never happen! I'm pissed off!

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I don't remember the VW bus or the cheerleaders. In fact, a lot of the early 90's are a blank. But I had a really cool wife who was a bartender at a lesbian bar and always found us interesting friends.

Because you and OP are brothers?

watched two young dudes bang the shit out of my mom. Was before I knew what fapping was and it scared me tbh. Was pretty hot tho looking back ngl

Fucked my girlfriend when her mom saw us. Our eyes locked while she was tip tip toeing around the house not trying to disturbs us.
She gave me a slight smirk which made me diamonds and she left.
Awkward and hot at the same time.

Fucked my now wife infront of roommates and friends in college when we were more casual. Lots of shit. Made her fuck me instead of her boyfriend at the time one night while we were all at my place. Told her she was mine now, then woke his ass up, threw him outside, fucked her and she screamed so loud she probably woke up every neighbor. I know he heard because he was calling and knocking on the door wondering wtf happened.

He drove home that night and hit a light pole. Not even lying.

Most epic
>probably giving two guys head in the back of a car. i wanted to fuck and do an actual threesome but they wouldnt without condoms (lame af)

Most embarassing
>came home one morning and talked to my mom like a half hour not realizing there was cum dried in my hair.
>had sex with a bunch of guys i barely knew just to get high when i was an addict
>fucked a guy for meth once when i was homeless living in my car for a few weeks. hadnt showered for days and he told me i smelled like a dirty hooker but kept fucking me anyways. i literally cried for 2 hours after he left. =/

Better to try and fail than to never have tried at all.

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Married a freak but did she stay a freak?

>most awkward
Coming across a short video recording of my mom getting fucked by her personal trainer at the time, recorded by my dad.
Awful quality, camera spazzing all over the place, and you hear my dad breathing and yacking the entire time.
Still something so surreal you can never take back or unsee about seeing close up of your mom taking dick, even at awful quality.
had tons of guilty faps and would hate myself every time.

>most embarrassing
Met random off tinder, we meet for drinks, she invites me back to her place to smoke bowls. i do, her even cuter roommate is there too and they both act like i'm the hottest guy ever (to smoke my weed, basically).
Tinder girl starts making out with me in front of her roommate, my dick comes out while her roommate watches - and for some reason the shock mixed with the anxiety from the weed makes me unable to get hard.
She plays with my dick while asking if i want to get sucked off, her roommate makes fun of me, i never get hard, i leave and never talk to her again.

>most amazing/epic
Was 16, hired to move a FUCKLOAD of fallen branches from married woman's yard after a big wind storm. I knew her because i was a courtesy clerk at the grocery at the time but that was it, she lived a couple miles from me.
After literally 8 hours of hard work, she invited me in, gave me a beer, casually asked if i felt like taking a shower. I stared in disbelief as she started to undress and motioned for me to follow, her clothes coming off as we went up the stairs and she teased me as she started the water.
She was short, huge tits, little chubby, and after sucking on my neck and stroking me in the shower, she dragged me to her bed and rode me while we were both still dripping wet. Came buckets inside her and she told me to not take it personally but she was going to pretend she never knew me after that - and she did. Saw her several times since and it was like i didnt exist.
Still best fuck of my life by far.

Sorry you were raises by a single mom. Sad, many such cases.

same boat as him. i remember being like 12/13 and hearing my mom fuck random dudes off plenty of fish in the middle of the night. we lived in a trailer so the walls were paper thin. my mom constantly smoked weed and acted like a hoe (until she met my step dad like 2 years ago) and then she acted all surprised when i started to do the same shit as a teenager like hello u dumb bitch lol

>video recording of my mom getting fucked
Where did you find the video?

>unable to get hard
Been there thanks to whiskey dick but never weed. ED fucking sucks and trying to get hard only makes it stay limp like some faggot who takes dick.

>married woman
Milf also?

Had similar experience with a 12 yr old when i was 21.

>came home one morning and talked to my mom like a half hour not realizing there was cum dried in my hair.

Did she say anything? m or f?

kys pedo. 15 is one thing but 12 is another.

No. Theres no way she didnt notice. idk if she didnt realize it was cum and thought it was something else (doubtful) or if it was just too awkward so she pretended she didnt see it, either way im glad she did. like ik my mom knows how i was back then but i dont needa talk about it with her lol. and im female (duh if u read the rest of my post).

One time I worked on a girl for literally 2 hours to get her to come back to my apartment. Accidentally drank too much before heading back and got whiskey dick and we couldn’t fuck…

It was ePiC

One stupid ass story

>be me, training and shit
>eating on absolute poverty diet
>clementines on an sale, ate them with cottage cheese
>if you know you know why it was an bad idea
>ate an shit load of clementines
>clementines are almost and diarrhea inducing food
>went to gf
>she's hella turned on, dressed properly with lingerie
>sucking me off like an whore
>huge urge to fart tho
>holding, but barely
>she wanted to take an pisd before we go down south
>I stood up to take of all my clothes
>also, had to rip an fat one
>standin naked, ripped one out
>ohfuck.jpg
>wetfuckinfartrunningdownmyleg.gif
>shitted on an carpet a lil bit
>had to stop the dirty
>took an shit, was one big fucker
>not eating clementines since

At least she was cool with it, shit happens she said.

Alright, but how the fuck do you not notice a 12 year old being a 12 year old?! Gotta admit I should have know better, but twelve is stretching it (badum tsss)

Sauce?

>With this girl who's unbelievably out of my league
>One time we don't have a condom but chance it
>Realise half way through that I have no intention of pulling out, I'm possessed by some deeper animal emotion. It's not that I don't know what could happen but I actively want it to
>Cum inside her, she's surprised but says she doesn't mind and gets this look in her eye
>We do that a couple more times but I firmly believe it was that first time that took
>She gets pregnant, it's a stressful time but we decide to keep it and start getting serious
>She has the kid but our relationship doesn't work out. We stay on good terms and I spend a lot of time with her and her family
>Including her even hotter sister
>Spend so much time that her sister an I start seeing each other
>One time we don't have a condom, decide to chance it
>She gets this look in her eye that I've seen before
>Warn her that I've got weak pullout game
>She just says we'll figure it out
>Cum inside her
Nothing happened yet but I just know I'm going to knock her up, whether I mean to or not. My ex seems to support us being together and their parents still love me but the situation is just so weird

If this is true…

I feel bad for you, but I kinda wish I could bang a mommy off plenty of fish like that

I know that feel, getting raised by a single mother can be hell, its probably why I am so fucked now

I bet their mother's gonna want one too at this point user

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Not my moms fault tho. My dad was married and didnt tell until I was born. then he fucked off to the next woman

First blowjob was from my cousin. Both of us were dragged along with our mom's while they spent hours shopping. My cousin and I had started flirting with each other as we killed the time. In a few differen't department stores we found some places to make out real quick, cop a few feels over and then under the clothes, etc.

Our mom's ended up at my house sorting through their loot from shopping. We headed to the basement. Made out for a few minutes while keeping our ears on alert in case someone started down the stairs.

We were both super horny so when I suggested we go into the bathroom together because the door locks, it was immediately agreed to. The next thing I remember is having my jeans and boxers pulled clear down to my ankles by my cousin who was kneeling in front of me and then sucking on my dick.

My sexy 55 y/o auntie was caught by my cousin as she was getting fucked.

Last night she I heard her arranging a late night date with one of her “friends “.

The things I would do to that woman…

weed does cause erectile dysfunction

I’ve been caught in the act by moms, sisters, cousins, and once by a random group of little boys. I’ve had sex on balconies, out of windows, in theaters, restrooms, and both in and on cars. A favorite was in the fountain in the middle of my college campus late at night. Or the face fuck at a charity event. Or my first threesome. Shockingly, even when I lost my virginity was good (she was fresh out of cheerleading and still wearing her uniform). Ask and I’ll be happy to share.

About to book a flight to go on a date and maybe lose my virginity. That's exciting here.

Single moms are something else, man. I’ve dated a few and there’s like some sort of switch flipped, theyre coco hungry all the time, no sense of propriety. One night I was on the couch watching a movie with a mom on my right, her kid on my left, with a blanket covering mom and me. I was fingering her for half the movie, her face buried in my shoulder trying not to moan too loud. Son never noticed. Movie ends, she tucks him in to bed, and five minutes after his lights are out we’re nude in the living room fucking on that couch.

eh, not really.

100% why i was fucked up. im pregnant rn and 100% doing everything i can to not repeat my fuckup moms ways.

How big ya dick son

got sucked off by a redditor's gf, best bj of my life, I came directly down her throat

6 inches at its very best, but girthy.

Not for me. Too much alcohol definitely does though.

>eh, not really.

listen homie, i've experienced it. did 400mg of edible every day for like a week straight with my side chick when my gf went on work trip. we'd fuck and i'd get hard in the beginning and dick goes soft in the middle of the session. gets hard again in a few mins and i finish. there were times i'd get soft again. had her ask her gynecologist regarding erectile dysfunction while she was getting her iud installed and was told too much weed or alcohol would cause that.

I'm sure he did notice

ED diagnosis seems like it could be ANYTHING. Too much alcohol, too little alcohol, too much weed, too little weed, too much exercise, too little exercise, etc... Is it the new meme? I have ED and none of this shit helps lol. It normally comes down to me being attracted to the girl or not

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