How to make Scaruffi like your rock album. Let's see...
>She's young too. Ella Guru
Trout Mask Replica (Captain Beefheart)
9.5/10
>Show me the way to the next little girl (Oh, don't ask why...)
The Doors (The Doors)
9/10
>Just to show that little girl that there is something she's gonna lack
>Just to show that little girl there's something more that you desire
Lorca (Tim Buckley)
9/10
>My little girl was born on a ray of sound
Y (The Pop Group)
9/10
>Little girls in their party dresses
Loveless (My Bloody Valentine)
9/10
>Little girl, I wanna marry you Oh yeah, little girl, I wanna marry you
The River (Bruce Springsteen)
8.5/10
>If she were my daughter, I'd... (What would you do, Daddy?)
Absolutely Free (Frank Zappa)
8/10
>I'd rather see you dead, little girl...
Rubber Soul (The Beatles)
5/10
Hmmmmmmmm... Some very.... "Interesting" trends here...
SCARUFFI
>Nobody, no, no, no, no, nobody stops me from loving you baby
>So young and bold, fourteen-year old
9/10
adding this one
thanks
Jesus Christ.
Someone make a statistics script that correlates Scaruffi's score with whether or not "little girl" or similar underraged terms are present in the lyrics.
scaruffi pedophilia is just a me-
I hope I'm not the only one that skips that fucking Doors track because it's so goddamn creepy
holy shit scaruffifags are DONE here
somebody please make an image with all of these examples then include his doctored "why cant i marry a 12 year old?" quote at the very top
uh oh
here's the quote
who gives a shit everyone from the 60s was a pedo
Doors second record got a 8/10..."you're lost...little girl"
>Stay with me, my five year old
>Suck Daddy, suck Daddy, suck Daddy!
8.5/10
>Oh girl, oh turn me on
>Oh girl, touch me soft
Suicide (Suicide)
9/10
She makes love just like a woman, yes, she does
And she aches just like a woman
But she breaks just like a little girl
Blonde on Blonde: 9/10.
Wow somebody arrest those pedos
I called it doctored because if you go on his website it doesn't say "why can't i marry a 12 year old". I'm pretty sure someone edited that to be creepier. It says something more like "why can't 12 year olds get married"
no he actually changed it himself (which tells you a lot)
scaruffi.com
>Why are there age limits? why is it illegal to marry a 12-year old?
web.archive.org
>Why are there age limits? why can't i marry a 12-year old?
>Only thirteen, and she knows how to nasty
>She's a dirty young mind, corrupted and corroded
>Well she's thirteen today
>And I hear she gets loaded
Absolutely Free (Frank Zappa)
8/10
O-oh oh no
>Hey hey hey all you young girls whatever you do
>Well come on by and see me I'll make it worth it to you
Safe As Milk (Captain Beefheart)
9/10
oh my god i was hoping he changed it himself oh nononono HAHAHAHA it was probably because of that image too AHAHAHAHA
"FUCKING KKKRISTIAN 'MORALITY' NOT LETTING ME BOINK CHILDREN"
- captain beefheart fans
that article is quite based
Out of the countless talentless, obnoxious and unintelligent hacks in the art critic scene, Piero Scaruffi has to be the absolute worst contender. It speaks a lot that a man who has reviewed the works of over 8600 musical artists for more than 30 years is so incompetent when it comes to his alleged 'craft'. Not only does Scaruffi have the lowly musical intelligence that is easily overshadowed by any first-year music student at your local university campus, the man is also an inadequate writer. His critiques are often mediocre, lack true depth or substance, as if he had listened to most of the music as ambience noise while he performed other trivial tasks around his small apartment. He often spews out what more capable critics have already been saying years before him, displaying no originality or free thought of his own. Whatever minuscule level of content Scaruffi manages to say in his writing is completely made to irrelevancy by the totally arbitrary numerical values he assigns at the end of his reviews, as if "5.5/10" means anything in the context of artistic value. To make matters worse, he seems to ignorantly misuse the most simple adjectives as if he is still learning basic writing skills despite three full decades of professional writing, and a number of published books. This is the same man that will claim the widely famous rock group 'AC/DC' as: "one of the greatest heavy-metal bands of all times", and yet one can find a sea of 5-6/10's on their page. Either Scaruffi is humorously unaware of the meaning of the word "best", or he has a clear bias against certain musical styles that don't fit his particular taste. Regardless, the average high school student could likely compose a more thought provoking music review than Scaruffi could even dream of achieving. The ultimate gift to the music industry would be to see this tired elderly man pack up his pencils and disappear off the net for good. Not worth anyone's time reading his embarrassments of critiques.
If you ever wonder why he gave this a 7.5/10 just look at the lyrics for Daddy
based
And yet pic related is not a 9/10? What is this anti-Boingo bias?
It's a cover and the original lyrics say little boy. Bertolt Brecht
boring pop music
It's like you missed the entire joke of the thread, you dense fucking lout
no I don't think I did
This thread is not a joke. Piero needs to be cancelled.
>I can see that you're fifteen years old
>No I don't want your I.D.
>And I've seen that you're so far from home
>But it's no hanging matter
>It's no capital crime
>You look so weird and you're so far from home
>But you don't really miss your mother
>Don't look so scared I'm no mad-brained bear
>I bet your mama don't know that you scratch like that
>I bet she don't know you can bite like that
>You say you got a friend, that she's wilder than you
>Why don't you bring her upstairs
>If she's so wild then she can join in too
Rolling Stones - Beggars Banquet
ONLY A 7/10
He probably preferred the live version where the girl is 13
Oh fuck, is there a single Yea Forums critic that hasn't been compromised in some way?
There's only one critic for Yea Forums.
Yeah but he also gave a low score to that Beatles where Paul "she was only 17, you know what I mean"
not young enough for scaruffi
>17
>pedo
kill yourself
Fantano unless you're a naziboy.
he has shit taste though
t. worhips Led Zepplin and Beetles and complains there are too many rap threads
what does this guy do for a living
computer science research
gives lectures in China about the Beatles being overrated
whats with all these dad rockers singing about young girls sexuality? are there any more recent albums where artists have gotten away with it?
It was a different time
Only Fantano friends
Its an 8 actually
No it's not, and it never has been.
just checked,youre right
this all is more of a product of the sexuality of rock music and the sexual standards of past decades than scaruffi, and some of these lyrics are quite regular and not suspicious.
Sure thing, Piero.
It was a non-cucked time
>Nick Cave
>The Firstborn is Dead : 8.0
O you know that I must say goodbye
To my little girl tree
How fast your candy bones
Reached out for me
I must say goodbye to your brittle bones
Crying out for me
>The Good Son (Pic Related) : 9.0
get out pedo
It was a 7/10 originally though.
until he listened to the lyrics to Daddy more closely