Why are so many RYM reviews like this? It doesn't even say anything about the music

Why are so many RYM reviews like this? It doesn't even say anything about the music.

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they think they're a movie or that they write a history and in a few years they will be an 'influencial critic'. and makes sure that his reviews are 'well-written', like a celebrity, already

Because RYM is for söyim bitch boys, bitch boy.

Most reviewers in RYM can't actually explain why they love the music or describe it properly aside from "ITS A BOP" so they just write the emotional connection they got to the music/pretntiouns rambling.

Because RYM reviews are basically just an extension of the forum

Holy shit I have no idea what the fuck this album is about, how it sounds like, anything.
FUCK YOU NEXFLAX. You unstable self-centered piece of shit.

lmao they get a lot of favorites too.
I have some friends who do this and it makes me cringe.

So much nicer having friends that are older men. The only good ones of these useless reviews are like 2 lines long.

Like here's one for YHF: "This album was the soundtrack of summer 2007 for me, as I went on little backyard adventures, got blindsided by hopeless teenage romances, and spent far too much time happily pining. "I miss the innocence I've known", indeed.."

I think it's mostly a product of not being into music for a very long time, so a good groove seems life changing. Then you get older and suddenly your 5 favorite rock albums are just the ones where the guitars and drums are mixed in well.

RateYourMusic is comprised entirely of trannies and numales. If you use the site then you need to sit and reflect on your existence.

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I feel a deep empty hole in my chest.
I cannot sink any lower.

>sipping my Arizona™ Iced ® Tea ©
James Ferraro x Yung Lean when?

I've rarely ever read or heard a music review that wasn't like this in some way. Even Fantano barely talks about the music, other than some of the types of noises he hears like what instrument was used and how adjective it was. A step up from many of the pretentious reviewers on most websites, but still shallow and useless.

lmao this review is actually great

>t. nexflax

How do I write a good review bros???

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just explain what's the appeal of the album, and your subjective feelings and how it sounds and how that sound makes you feel.

>look at how smart i am, I'm so fucking smart, look at how i talk, I'm so intelligent

Im too lazy to do reviews but I want people to know how I feel about the album. My “reviews” are short commentaries. Not the most substancial thing in the world, but at least I say something about the album.

narcissism, they are so self absorbed they think strangers on the internet give a shit about their miorning routine

It’s all Christgau’s fault.

holy shit they're STILL writing reivews like this?

maybe you just like really cringe albums, which naturally create a cringe fanbase. You’re probably closer to this person than you’d care to think
>tfw there’s no journal entry reviews for Devo or ELO stuff

those can be good reviews as long as they are short and have some sort of allegory to the music. preferably nor meta/context bullshit, though (especially not politics. yuck)