Ask a schizophrenic anything

I've come for my free (You). Also, what are your symptoms and what meds are you on?

>I overcame schizophrenia
Then you're either insanely lucky, or didn't have schizophrenia. It's not something you "overcome".
>He wanted to be an architect.
Hey, maybe he was able to live out his dream.
>The other side is where lolis will rule over the souls of the damned
Yeah, I'll join you there, user. It sounds comfy.
>I've come for my free (You).
Sent :^)
>Also, what are your symptoms
The most common ones are hallucinations both auditory and visual, delusional thinking or "magical thought patterns", severe paranoia and impaired speech patterns
>and what meds are you on?
I don't take medication.

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>comfy
I guess you could say that

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>"magical thought patterns"
Explain.

>I don't take medication.
Why not? Is it manageable without them?

>Hey, maybe he was able to live out his dream.
That's what I choose to believe. Although he was more troubled than "normal" kids, he did strive for happiness and to find somewhere he felt he could really belong. Unfortunately I'm not sure of the legality of hiring someone to plan the construction of buildings that is not always mentally there. As long as I never look it up though I can continue to believe he's happy

Do you have any fun hallucinations?

Im mentally healthy but I get really intense auditory hallucinations while im trying to sleep. The other day I kept hearing women screaming like they were being violently murdered followed by bells. It was honestly pretty amusing.

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>I guess you could say that
I did say that.
>Explain.
How would I word that... Sort of like thinking things are connected when they're not. The yellow piece of paper I found while I was digging in the yard MEANT something. It had to mean something, who was sending me a message? I don't know. But it, without a shadow of a doubt, meant something.
"Magical thinking."
>Why not?
I don't like medication. I can fair pretty well without it most days.
>I'm not sure of the legality
I can't imagine it would be illegal. He probably would have/has made some amazing buildings, I would imagine.
>Do you have any fun hallucinations?
I wouldn't exactly call them "fun", no. They're... interesting, though.
>hallucinations while im trying to sleep.
Yeah, those are fairly common. They're sort of like pre-dreams.

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How do I become more likable?
I jus want sum friends...

>I can't imagine it would be illegal. He probably would have/has made some amazing buildings, I would imagine.
Yes, I believe so too. Though you may not feel like it, you've really been a big help in calming my nerves about him. I can't thank you enough for that

So would say the movie "A Beautiful Mind" is accurate in it's portrayal?

>How do I become more likable?
I don't know for sure, user. In what ways are you unlikable? Are you sure you're not just being hard on yourself?
>I jus want sum friends...
Well, go out and make some. It's not all that difficult.
>I can't thank you enough for that
You're welcome, user.
>So would say the movie "A Beautiful Mind" is accurate in it's portrayal?
It's pretty accurate, especially by Hollywood's standards.

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You're not real. None of this is.

>You're not real. None of this is.
That really depends on what you define as "real", user.

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I wish I knew, even though I try really hard to ask questions or show interest in what people are doing, I always get ignored and pushed to the side...
I have been trying really hard to make friends lately; but it is much harder than it seems that it should be...

>I have been trying really hard to make friends lately
Perhaps that is your problem, user. You're trying too hard, people can sense that. Stop trying to force things, and just sort of go with the flow. Making friends isn't something that takes a lot of effort. It should be nearly effortless. An immediate phrase that comes to mind is "act natural".

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What diapers do you wear? ABDL or Medical?

How do you feel about blowjobs? Giving, receiving, etc. If you never have done those things, how do you think you would feel?

no one cares

realize that and you will be able to make friends

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>ABDL or Medical?
Medical all the way, baby.
>How do you feel about blowjobs?
Never gotten one, but giving them feels... strange. I don't really know.
>how do you think you would feel?
Warm and moist.
>no one cares
Quite the opposite, user. People care too much. That's exactly what user's problem is.

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That was my main method for many years, and that is why I am so alone...the reason i am trying to find freinds to begin with, anyway
thank you for taking the time to advise, good luck with your endeavors

Ye, that is pretty obvious
I mean, I care, but that seems to be about it

Do you have split personalities or is that just a media thing?

>Never gotten one, but giving them feels... strange. I don't really know.
You've given multiple times it sounds like? What made you want to do it? Did you or your partner enjoy it?

>That was my main method for many years
Maybe you should rethink your methodology then, user. If you continue doing it one way, and the outcome is always the same; maybe the problem is the method, not you as a person.
Make sense?
>Do you have split personalities or is that just a media thing?
It's not like Dissociative identity Disorder split, but there is a sort of... "alteration" of my personality. Other people can spot it, but to me, I just feel the same.
>You've given multiple times it sounds like?
No, just the once.
>What made you want to do it?
Curiosity.
>Did you or your partner enjoy it?
Haha

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>Haha
I...I think I understand. Well I hope it was fun for you at least and that you didn't make too much of a mess

>I...I think I understand.
What makes you say that?

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I am bipolar. I get those things, though. I have akathisia from medications, anxiety and stress make them worse. It's hard to break those connections when it's bad. I don't get auditory or visual hallucinations, though. And as long as I stay clear of stress, I think pretty normally. When things get bad, I hibernate. Try to let it run it's course, try to avoid stress, etc. If I get hurt emotionally, it can happen, too.

Well it sounds to me like that blowjob you gave was to yourself, which from what I hear doesn't really match experiencing it from someone else

Samefag - I just thought it was normal anxiety stuff. Meds make it worse. I'm best if I'm in a stress free environment.

>I get those things, though
They're symptoms of psychosis, which can happen in some bipolar people.
>Well it sounds to me like that blowjob you gave was to yourself
Haha, phew, yeah. Totally that.
>Meds make it worse.
You should talk to your prescriber about that, a lot of the times you need to change meds a lot to get the right thing.

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>Haha, phew, yeah. Totally that.
Oh I see. I won't bring it up again. Sorry for any discomfort

When I'm doing well, those connections don't happen so much. And if the do I shrug them off. But when I'm not doing well, it gets hard to figure out what connections are real, and which ones are made up. So it opens me up to real stuff a lot.

Which Medical brand user? S/M/L?

Anti psychotics messed me up bad. Makes it 100x worse. The only thing that I've tried that helps is travel, because it's like a reset. Sex can help, but it's better with close human interaction. And Clonidine helps. For akathisia.

I've taken all the meds. All of them. I get horrifying Akathisia from things like Abilify, and it gets worse. I get serotonin syndrome bad from antidepressants.

>Sorry for any discomfort
No worries, user.
>But when I'm not doing well, it gets hard to figure out what connections are real
I know what you mean.
>Which Medical brand user? S/M/L?
Attends, small.
>Anti psychotics messed me up bad.
Yeah, they have that affect. That's why people change anti-psychs a lot. On the bright side, you probably don't need to be on them if they messed you up that bad. It sort of sounds like your main problem is anxiety.

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It is. It takes years for me to calm down from akathisia from psych meds. Once that goes away, it is a lot easier to manage. I still have problems with some things, but as long as I avoid them, I'm totally fine.

Like, job stress, deadlines, and getting hurt are things that really trigger it. I don't know why. Pressure is bad. If I avoid those things, I am generally pretty good.

I try to help people how I can, with no expectations. Not sure how to explain it, but I think of that as my job. If it gets to where they're pressuring me, I have to stop. No choice. I think of it as my way of giving back, because I can't really contribute in the normal ways.

>but as long as I avoid them
Are you sure that isn't making things worse for yourself? Avoiding the thing that trigger you will quite literally reinforce those responses. It's one of the worst things you can do.
>Pressure is bad
Pressure is only bad because you haven't trained your resistance to it.

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Unfortunately, I'm 100% sure. It's that thinking by other people that constantly messes me up. I wish they'd stop. I've been dealing with this for a long time. I've tried all the things.

When I was younger, before I became disabled, I thrived on pressure. It was my thing. Dunno, something broke.

>I wish they'd stop
Well, then just continue avoiding everything in your quiet little bubble where absolutely no stress will ever reach you. But you won't experience anything ever, and won't have any friends or meaningful connections.
It's your choice.
>something broke.
You gave into it. That's what I've been saying this whole time. You gave into the pressure and let it win.

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No, I have tried many, many times. It always happens the same. I go bonkers. Can't stop it, I have tried everything.

And I don't want to be in a bubble. I don't need to be. I, just, need to be accepted as I am.

welcome back based shinobu schizo, it's been a while since I've seen your posts

>I have tried many, many times.
Like I said, the choice is yours.
>And I don't want to be in a bubble.
And yet, here you are, living in a bubble by your own choice. Strange isn't it?
>welcome back based shinobu schizo,
Thanks, user. How've you been?
>it's been a while since I've seen your posts
Yeah, I went on a little hiatus.

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Normally, I only need to avoid stress for a week or two in order to recover. But, if I can't, and the stress keeps coming, It takes longer and longer and gets worse and worse. When I'm doing well, I can handle some stress, but when it hits that limit, I have to stop. I will just get sicker and sicker. I have no control over it.

And, as I said, it's not a choice. I don't understand that mentality at all. It, just, doesn't work that way for me.

Not by my choice. Unfortunately, the stress has built up to the point where I have no choice. I have to get some time away from it, or I will continue to get sicker and sicker.

how'd you get diagnosed?

>small
A fellow small user. How small are you?

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>I have no control over it.
It's entirely in your mind, user. You have complete control over it. You just choose to give into it and allow it to take over.
>it's not a choice.
Everything is a choice. You choose to avoid stress, thus you are choosing to confine yourself to a bubble.
>It, just, doesn't work that way for me.
It works that way for everyone. It's a slow process, but if you give up every single time, it's just going to get progressively worse. Then it'll get to the point where you don't even need the stress anymore, and you'll start having the same symptoms. Then you're just fucked at that point. Like I said, it's your choice.
>or I will continue to get sicker and sicker
It's all in your head.
>how'd you get diagnosed?
The man in the white lab coat said "I think you have schizophrenia".
>How small are you?
Quite smoll. I'm barely 100 lb, 5"6.

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I don't understand why people can't get this? It's not a muscle I can work back into shape. If it was, I would have been better years ago.

>I don't understand why people can't get this?
You're the one not understanding, user.

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>The man in the white lab coat said "I think you have schizophrenia".
cute, but was being serious.

I got assigned a psycopathy diagnosis but im sure it was just horse shit from a quack

>but was being serious.
So was I. I told a doctor about my symptoms, he tried to have me institutionalized, and put on meds. Then I bounced around a bunch of other doctors, now I'm in therapy learning to just be at one with everything.

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That's a lie. It just doesn't work like that for me. I understand what you're saying, but there's a limit. Once the pain stops, and my stomach calms down, I will go out, I will have fun, I will meet people. But, as good as I get, as much as I ignore, if I do certain things, it will take me down. Crazy letters, connections that don't exist, ignoring connections that I do exist, severe pain, etc.

that sounds shitty. i dont much care for doctors

I am. Honestly, and truly. Deeply. I am understanding. I am constantly trying. I am constantly pushing myself. That's my normal state of mind. I do what you say. Just, after 20 years of doing that, and under these circumstances, I have to be honest. Later, I will change my thinking back, and pretend not to be sick - which is much better for me psychologically - and I will do my best again. Right now, though, I am being honest about what the results of that have been over the pat 20+ years.

I am much, much happier when I can pretend not to be sick, but it doesn't change what I go through.