She made me do copious amounts of cocaine with her, to the point I thought my heart was going to stop. She told me to calm down, gave me a drink, and I don't know what was in the drink but I blacked out. And when I woke up, she had both of my legs over her shoulders and she was numbsucking my asshole like there was no tomorrow. I tried to fight it, I tried to get away, but I was restrained. She told me that I liked it. She told me not to worry because she is the good jelly, the schmukas.
So nobody has paid me to confess this now, and I've kept it underwraps for all these years because I knew nobody would believe me. Nobody would believe that Billie Eilish ate my asshole.
I saw Billie Eilish at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told her how cool it was to meet her in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother her and ask her for photos or anything. She said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but she kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing her hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard her chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw her trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Snickers in her hands without paying. The guy at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Ma'am, you need to pay for those first.” At first she kept pretending to be tired and not hear him, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When he took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, she stopped her and told him to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After he scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, she kept interrupting him by yawning really loudly.
Ayden Brown
Why didn't you record this? Her career would be over has her fans saw that behavior...
Asher Baker
No one thinks you're funny Instead of wasting time writing a stupid pasta you could have done something productive and I wasted 15 seconds writing this to you
she could eat my asshole if she wanted. but i dunno if shed want to, its pretty hairy
Angel Green
I thought her name was Sky Ferreri
Robert Allen
i hear her parents basically got her in the spotlight due to their connections. Dont really like her stuff desu. why is she blowing up this much? Do people still like "edgy" artists?
Ethan Garcia
Interesting, but consider the following: The wait was totally worth it to get my hands on Billie Eilish’s full load of poop. The poo was packaged well and I popped it in the fridge for a bit before digging in. The size of her load was massive and the smell was beautiful. I started out just smelling it and getting myself worked up. Her poop had some soft parts with some great firm chunks. I started with popping some of the chunks into my mouth and like a switch I was sent into subspace realizing that I have a beautiful woman’s poop in my mouth! I ate as much as I could and then got an idea to take her with me during the day. I started packing the rest of her poop up my own ass. I stuffed about half of her beautiful turd up me and what a full packed feeling it was. Throughout the day I could feel her inside me and when I could not hold any longer after about 4 hours or so I came home and released Billie's poop. I did not let it go to waste and I finished eating her now warm poop. This was a hot sexy nasty horny all day adventure.
Nathan Nguyen
Is this pasta? I feel like I have read this before.
