How you holding up Yea Forums?

What were your issues and how did you work them out?

I can't really sleep anymore, I have extremely stressful dreams and if I wake up after 3 am I immediately get flashbacks to some painful memory and I fly awake, unable to fall back asleep. At least this is the norm, but with light medication I'm usually able to fall back asleep, but because of nightmares I rarely feel well rested anymore.

I feel like I should do a lot better than this. My studied are coming along, I have an active social life - I went to a small party yesterday but went home early and today me and a friednn took a walk in the woods and took some photos of each other and the landscape - I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, and I work out regularly. I have an appointment with a doctor though in a few days, hopefully that will give me some stronger meds that keep me asleep the whole night.

youtube.com/watch?v=Xw5AiRVqfqk

I'M NOOOT OOOKAY
I'M NOT OKAAAAAAY
I'M NOT OKAAAAAAY

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not much of a feelsfag but i'm not really sure anymore

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I keep having dreams about her. Horrible dreams that won't leave my head. I miss her. But, I'm playing my guitar more that I ever have and exploring a lot of music recently, so maybe its not a bad thing.

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Mostly anxiety. Used to have panic attacks almost daily. I still get anxious but definitely not as bad. I mostly just always felt like everyone was judging me and that I was always being looked at. And then I would be anxious of having a panic attack which often caused a panic attack. But mostly now I have realized that no one is judging me at all times and that I shouldn't be scared of panic attacks. I slowly learned to let go and just kinda let myself go with the flow. If that makes any sense.

I sit in my room all day listening to music watching documentaries about photographers/photography theory and staring at photographs
I get motivated by them everyday
everyday I go out on my bicycle to take pictures with camera in my pocket after sometime time I start losing the motivation, camera still in the pocket, I see some interesting subjects/moments but no confidence to point my camera at people's faces. get panic, go back to my home. then I go inside my blanket, crying sometimes. music start again, I draw the curtains, start oscillating between /p/, /fa/, Yea Forums and thats it.

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What are horrible about your dreams?

My overall general fears of mental illness and paranoia are getting to me
Listening to An Empty Bliss Beyond This World

I like that album a lot, hope things get easier for you user. Much love

Hang in there. The motivation is in there somewhere. You’re getting out of the house, you have creative ideas, you’re a creative person. Today I want you to make something nice. Just a little thing that you think is somewhat worthwhile. We believe in you.

Hungry

Stuff like her cheating on me, or hooking up with my friends behind my back. Stuff I'm pretty sure isn't true, but there is still that bit of doubt.

I could be like my heros if I kill myself

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They are you heros not because they killed themselves, but because they did something worthwhile

These days I honestly think about whether it would be better if I was dead. I'm not looking for pity here, but seriously, why stay here to suffer? What if there is something better on the otherside? I guess its a bit of a gamble, but at this point it feels like it might be a worthwhile gamble.

The only thing that keeps me alive is the thought that my current suffering is part of the plan god has for me and that he has planned better times for me ahead. I suppose life can't all be good. I hope we all make it bros.

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Eating breakfast. Generally positive lately, but trying to budget my money better. You're all gonna make it bros.

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other than the looming despair over my head pretty good

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I want to listen to loveless but it just makes me depressed and i have to stop halfway through

some bad days and some good days this week. i think i might start seeing my therapist again

Not too bad, thanks. I see a lot of people here who need to take a break from the internet, though. If you're depressed and lonely, Yea Forums is probably the worst thing you can do with your time. It will make things worse.

thank u user
i will try and post the photos for you

but i have nothing to doooooo

we'll all find the one, brehs. and no amount of sad music will stop that.

youtube.com/watch?v=b3nNtFZhCEo

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Who I thought was my girlfriend left me - she saw me as a side dude, and realizing that I wanted a genuine relationship she decided against it. I've consumed way too much cider within the last week, been subjected to intense isolation against my own will due to spring break, have suffered $250.00 in financial damage at the hand of incompetence maintenance workers that keep throwing my kitchen utensils away, and yet for once I have been able to sleep before midnight because of my roommates being loud dipshits. One of the few things keeping my sanity is Wings Over America. What an amazing album.

im finally over him, but i need someone to be with. i have friends, but i want someone i can be open and intimate with. i want someone who will let me hug them while we sleep. i want to have tender, soft, loving sex. i want to be able to cry on someone's shoulders and still feel comfortable with them.

i think i am unironically going schizophrenic. my interior monologue has grown a mind of it's own and i don't like it. sometimes it takes over and the only thing i hear in my head is "I want to die" echoing over and over and i loose the ability to think
listening to Godspeed You Black Emperor

L O N D O N

[spoiler]im a little lonely too[/spoiler]

i wish i had higher iq

I know the feel. It's my favorite album but it reminds me of too much and I can't listen to it anymore

Doing well thanks. Gonna be a dad soon.

based

Not the greatest. I have no friends, I can't smoke weed anymore, I don't have income, and I just don't feel like I'm doing anything of significance with my life that will help me in any way in the long run. I'm just left to ponder existential shit, jack off, and be pointlessly sober.

pretty shit

it's like entropy is winning me over

Great actually. Chilling with some bros drinking beers and watching march madness while listening to parklife by blur. Comfy Sunday afternoon

gonna die soon. doctor cut me off from oxy and everything sucks

What if it's my only form of socialization?

Any music recommendations for a depersonalized depressed 22 year old just trying to pass college?

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When I start to think things are gonna get better, that's when it all goes down the shitter

Managed to get a girlfriend but her love for me and my hatred for myself just null eachother out.

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yeah, i kinda have the same shit. I think i care too much about other people's opinions, even tho i act like i don't give a fuck. I almost faint 3 times a day because of my panic attacks. Glad you've managed to get your shit together. I still can't fix this shit. Even tho i know there's a clear way on how to fix it.

damn i can relate to this so much

my ocd's really annoying
did a few weird things in the past, no one got hurt, dont do them anymore, but i still think about them a bit
i need to forgive myself and move on from the past
help bros, is there any music about moving forward i need some help

Stop complaining brah, you’re luckier then most

I can relate to you man, recently i watched the documentary about that climber, "free solo". And it helped me a lot, i would recommend it to anyone who feels like that. Just listening to someone who has a complete different idea of life and living, talking about happiness and being cozy made me pass a pretty dark time for me.

fucking kekd so much dude

why can't you smoke anymore

this

what are you majoring in?

dude make friends. simple af in college.

It started giving me panic attacks, very bad hospitally ones

Decent mood right now. Got my paper finished slightly before the deadline which is nice for a change. Trying to appreciate the small things I accomplish after destroying any semblance of normalcy and success that I was having and it's taken years just to get back to this point.

Hope the best for you all.

I'm gonna snap some day, I know it. Angry rap and noise keeps me alive :^) cant even use my vpn to hide anymore

Slightly better I guess. Been having counselling every Monday, but I unfortunately missed last weeks sessions. My sleep has been all over the place tho, my college attendance is fucked atm but as long as I keep doing counselling they dont mind. Honestly considering buying weed to see if it helps me sleep.

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terrible i think about her and cry almost every night and i was at a party with her and her new bf the other day and just got unreasonably drunk and fell asleep because i couldn't handle it then went home with my friend and slept on his couch god help me when will the pain stop

Weed only ever keeps me awake fwiw. If you're in a legal state, make sure you buy a strain that's indica or high in CBD. Otherwise, just cut back on caffeine and get enough exercise.

literally why didn't i pick up an instrument as a teen

i am alone. i have no friends. literally.
im not in high school any, this isn't bullshit.
i want to ease the pain but not allowed to smoke weed.
i have no one to talk to.
not even family.
i think they despise me.

English
>dude make friends. simple af in college.

Not when you're a senior and everyone stops wanting to chill :/

this
I failed a year and now have 3 classes to listen to again, which gives me like 5 days off to do nothing
also don't know anyone from younger classes

I might fail my last semester, this is bullshit

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youtube.com/watch?v=LXIWRan3XGY

Will meet a nice girl next week. Wish me a good time anons. Still feel strange.

count me in. anxiety makes a big impact on my life (although it got better for me, too)

My life would be much better if I could leave this shithole small town and get a cute gf to hold close to me at night

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If you actually have no job and no friends and no ability to go out into public and take part in human society, then you should be spending your time working to make yourself employable, approachable, and able to interface with others. The only way this wouldn't be applicable is if you have a significant disability, illness, or take meds with side effects that fuck you up hard.

If you're an otherwise able-bodied and -minded person who is just depressed or maladapted and uses Yea Forums as a substitute for real world socialization, then you are digging yourself a much deeper hole than you're already in. If you don't already have your shit together, this place will prevent you from getting it together. Even when you do have your shit together this place can still drag you down if you spend too much time here.

No motivation to study whatsoever. Only enjoying one of my classes. Hate algorithms. Why didn't I just study business Yea Forums?

I’ve completely lost grip on reality

in what sense

>hate algorithms
what is that supposed to mean
also, assuming you're doing a compsci major, where do you study (country, atleast) it and what's the one class?

math /cs at a really good school in canada. I love analysis, but im getting fucked by algos and algebra atm. Jordan canonical form can suck a chode.

also study math /cs (in a good school in Europe though)
I would say I'm the absolute opposite. Algebra is my thing

:(

>i was at a party with her and her new bf the other day
did you know they were going to be there?

Nothing really makes me happy anymore, my roommate and only friend at college just moved out and wont be back for 6 months so i'm just going to load up on credits and work so hard i forget I'm lonely.
just got back inside from sitting with some people who i used to be close to but they don't seem to like me when i'm not "fun". I'm only fun when I'm drunk and I quit drinking a few months back. had a weird panicky feeling on the way back in, almost passed out on the stairs

some tunes:
youtu.be/Qk2uVGDvz10
youtu.be/k0hrmN2qhNo
youtu.be/Rae76PA_xkU
youtu.be/X5uxQElYu68

I wish i was smart enough for algebra. With analysis you just beat the problems until something works. you need to actually be smart to do algebra.

stay strong Yea Forums

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i don't think you need to be that smart
it's very very intuitive if you understand it, actually
maybe make an appointment with your algebra teacher or read some more Yea Forums on it. it's really not THAT hard if you get the knack
t. hate mechanical counting

It’s me, user, do you have a website or social media account that I can check out for your photography? Much love once again

Hang in there user sending you my love and a virtual hug. Do not give up.

I know, but it's really draining to have to hide these insecurities around her sometimes. I never really feel good enough or even presentable. feeling like a fucking neckbeard around pretty people, including her.

Don’t give up user keep moving forward and try to get out of whatever bad place you’re in right now

>tfw no heroin

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Things will get better. It’s just that sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes, you are lucky and it is given to you, and sometimes, not so much. But better things are ahead of you. You just have to go out and go get them. Much love.

I kick myself over that too but it's not too late to start

>math /cs at a really good school in canada.
Which one?

thanks
you too

I hate myself a little bit more day after day
Cut all contacts with friends about a year ago, I really wish I didn't but I don't think I could ever reach out to them now
I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for my parents, their love and music are the only things keeping me afloat
I wish the best to all of you, you call me a plebian fag every other day but I bet the majority of you are really nice people

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I feel you man I'm in a very similar situation. I know I made the right move by cutting out friends where the relationship was either one sided or unhealthy but now I have nothing left. My parents and I have had a good relationship ever since I went away to college but I feel fucking awful for being a problem child because they mean the world to me now

G maj 7 / F#-7 b5 / B7 #5

I feel fucking great man. Fixing my car today, gonna have some tasty food, gonna get stoned, maybe masturbate a few times to some videos that my various gay sexual partners have made for me, I feel amazing. Weather's warming up, the rains are nice and warm, the sun comes out intermittently. Life is good.

Wow people like this still exists? Do you really believe he doesn't know any of this, and this is the first time he heard that? Go to reddit dude, you don't belong here.

Stay strong brother

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I wish you all the best in the universe you plebian fag :'-)

is it?

car seat headrest

I'm nowhere close to breaking point, I've mentally been in worse places. I'm just confused as to where to go now, and life still carries on. I'm just beaten for now in one way, but not all ways.

lol, got 'em

My parents think I’m still going to college but I haven’t since my first semester almost 3 years ago, mostly due to my extreme social anxiety. I rarely leave the house and have 0 friends. The only people I talk to irl are my mother and my stepdad. I work online, but I don’t make that much money. I really don’t know what to do with my life

nothing has changed
so not too good

I think I fell in love with a friend who turned into a t girl now. Only problem is that I sent messages asking if they were okay but no response.

Music for this feel? The Goslings aren't doing enough to drown out my thoughts Slowcore or blackgaze recs could be good.

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