Uhhh, this record store has a STRICT no incel policy... can I get some hard evidence you’re not a virgin dude?

>Uhhh, this record store has a STRICT no incel policy... can I get some hard evidence you’re not a virgin dude?

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How does one prove they are not a virgin on the spot like this

You can get some of this hard policy *gestures towards my dick*

Body features are a dead giveaway of whether or not you’ve had sex

>Sir, I am calling the police

put your finger under their nose

if you answer with anything other than "what the hell is an incel?" you might as well admit your virginity right then and there

by describing how it feels
like having a warm rag wrapped around your boner and having it washed back and forth

I'm a skinnyfat Yea Forums retard but I have sex all the time
Lol nice bro high five hahaaaa

no ;_;

umm... one copy of Loveless please!

don't worry I won't be long, I'm just here to pick up the new Drake album

Here's the fresh menstrual blood on my dick from this morning. Do you need a taste to confirm?

*unzips dick*

Rape her. Then I wouldn’t be an incel any longer.

*grab her by her cute pretty short pink hair and bring her up to my face where I then start to kiss her for 10 seconds and let go*
"im no virgin baby"
*proceed to get over the counter, pull down her pants and shove my big cock into her pussy, her panties simply pushed aside. Start railing her in front of the rest of the story making her scream in pleasure. finish after 74 minutes and 23 seconds of pure pleasure, leave her dripping cum with an ahegao face*

"heh, now Money Store by Death Grips on vinyl please"

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she's ugly

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Only correct answer

such discrimination! my master's degree in masturbational sciences has always hold weight and i demand that you recognize and respect my efforts

>being an edgelord
>proof you're not a virgin

lel

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just say you're gay and she'll stop questioning you

yup
I don't buy records
oh wait what am I doing here, actually wanted to go to the liquor store get me some Dunkels

Swans 'To Be Kind'

based Flander

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>he doesn't know

Will this become real? I mean, people sure don't have empathy for incels.

based

well then the record store would go out of business fast

i'd just run away desu

>"heh, now Remain in Light by the Clash on vinyl please"

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>he only has a masturs in masturbational scienes

Show them your hymen

BASED

show her the rancid sti on your pee pee

>all virgins are incels