Secrets thread for the laughs :)

Secrets thread for the laughs :)

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Was molested by my friend as I slept growing up. Kinda liked it.

Started touching my other friends in their sleep.

Progressed to eventually fucking with the first friend that touched me.

I am an exhibitionist

Do you walk around with plugs in?

I was sexually assaulted as a teenager and when I told people in authority they all basically said "Well not much we can do about some boys being boys."
This led me to selling my virginity for several grand to a rich pervert so that I could choose how I lost it, and I was a part-time escort all through college. Not even for the money, just to try to not feel powerless.

It took a lot of therapy to treat relationships seriously, but I'm getting married next year. My fiance doesn't know the full extent, he thinks that I was a camgirl for tuition money.

Bump

No, just naked, sometimes with a boner

My wife is older than my mother.

My dad wrote me a few days ago that he had surgery. I went to visit him hoping he's dying. No, he apparently had dental surgery for implants. What a shmuck.

INB4 No, I don't inherit any significant money.

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AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
what a legend.