What's it like to have a girlfriend? How do you find someone willing to date you?

I'm trying to figure out if it's even worth trying. I'm 33. If I ask out 100 women/year, and 1/1000 says yes. Maybe 1/100 of those accept a second date. By that point, there's already a good chance I'm dead before anything moves beyond a second date.

annoying, mostly

That approach sounds pretty underhanded to be honest. She thinks you're still just hanging out as friends, but you think/hope it's actually a date.

They love to talk about themselves, most people do. Keep asking questions about her. Don't pry, but ask surface level questions and drill down where appropriate.

How so? What's annoying about it?

stop wasting your time with dates, it is 2019. download a dating app, swipe right on everyone and make a connection in a creative way.

his girlfriend is annoying him and he is a grumpy bastard who won't talk to her about it in a way that they can calmly understand each other, therefore their relationship is suffering.

That's what I do with friends and acquaintances. I've been hanging out with a girl who has a bf, purely as friends, and that's exactly what we do. How does that help move anything beyond basic friendship?
If you're not in the top 15% of men looks wise, why even try with online dating? All the women there think you're a 2/10 at best, and will just fuck Chad.

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What sort of "something" are you talking about? Like "hey, let's fuck?". I don't really think about saying anything too forward, because I know it would end badly.

>If you're not in the top 15% of men looks wise, why even try with online dating? All the women there think you're a 2/10 at best, and will just fuck Chad.
girls don't dislike you because you look ugly, it's when you open your mouth and say stuff like that that makes them realise how pathetic and stupid you are.

I would never in a million years say something like that irl. Such thoughts are completely contained to places like this.

Step 1) be either attractive or successful
Step 2) be self confident
Step 3) talk with women and you'll find one quickly

>hey, let's fuck?
try it and find out, you are only assuming it won't work because you want an excuse not to try, once you start challenging those assumptions in your head and replace them with real experiences, you will learn from each one.
>it would end badly.
nothing ends good, otherwise it would keep going.
the thing about things ending is that they can start again, but you have to try a different approach otherwise you will get the same outcome.
>I don't really think about saying anything too forward
and look where it has got you. start doing it and learn from the results. talk to multiple girls at once, this is just practise to get your confidence up so when you find the right girl, you will be ready to open up for her

it doesn't matter if you say it directly, the way you carry yourself and the way you act around women, it leaks out of you subconsciously. it's like having really bad BO, you hope nobody notices, but they always do.

How successful do you need to be? I make six figures and own a house. Does that qualify, or do I still need more?
>try it and find out
That sounds like a great way for me to get #metoo'd and fired, or worse. Better men than I have lost everything from being too forward with the wrong woman.

You don't have to be attractive or successful. You're acting like every woman in the world is a gold digging 10. They aren't all 10's. If you can't recognize that then you'll be forever alone.

>That sounds like a great way for me to get #metoo'd and fired, or worse. Better men than I have lost everything from being too forward with the wrong woman.
how can you get fired when you're on an anonymous dating app, talking to strangers who you will never meet unless you choose to.
>Better men than I have lost everything from being too forward with the wrong woman.
everyone makes mistakes, its those who are willing learn from them to help avoid it happening again which are the real men.

Easy, meet them, get to know them, and then make a move. Men are expected to be the ones to make the move, but if you don't read her mind correctly and she's not actually interested, you're a rapist.

What do you have to be then? Every woman in the world can fuck Chad if she wants to. Why would she pick anyone else?

the only thing holding you back is your inability to accept the fact that your assumptions could be wrong, you have no real life experience with this and only think like that because of stories you read online. you are a book reader who only reads from the same author.

Six figures and a house sounds plenty.
Do you like pretty girls? I bet you do. Most of us do. Women are the same as men when it comes to dating. Being a pretty boy makes it much much easier.

Ok, what do you think would actually happen then? There are countless stories of men inadvertently being too forward and getting ostracized by society. What do you think would actually happen if I try to awkwardly hit on someone and it turns out she finds it creepy?

Pretty girls are nice in pictures, but in real life they're often pretentious and annoying. I'm much more interested in average girls.

I know you say average, but in your head you are really picturing poorly dressed, boring girls without make up. Not girls who actually look average.

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Less time to yourself.
More money being spent.
Constantly hearing about her problems.
Headache.

Stay single.

Average is always relative. I live in one of the healthiest areas of the country, and average people here are perfectly fine.

The way you said it kinda proves my point though, doesn't it? Like, even average looking people in my town are still pretty pretty.

Sure, obviously I want someone who I at least find somewhat attractive. My point was I'm not particularly interested in "hotties". We wouldn't have much in common, and they wouldn't want to be with me anyway.

There's this myth going around that the prettiest girl in a group often gets the least action. Because most men either don't dare talking her up or think she's taken anyway.

Anyway so you'd agree that looking attractive (just not super attractive) helps?

Of course. People are attracted to attractive people. That's pretty much the definition.
I just realize that attractive people aren't going to be interested in me because they can do better, so I wouldn't even try with them. They have plenty of other attractive people they can be with.

Personality trumps attractiveness. Would you want a hot girl with the brain of a fly? Or someone you could actually have an intelligent conversation with? Looks deteriorate with age quicker than brains do, lower your impossible standards.

Only easier if you are punching above your weight class.

What makes you think I have high standards? All I'm looking for is a woman who's willing to be with me. Is that really too much to ask?

That's fine, I'm just saying looks aren't everything. Tits sag, asses get fatter, but brains last until dementia sets in, and by that time, who gives a shit.

I've tried asking people with fat asses and saggy tits, and still got rejected. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

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You aren't doing anything wrong, just keep at it. Be confident in yourself, and don't be fair to face rejection. We all do, it how you learn what works and what doesn't.

How many rejections should I expect before I get a date? I'm 33 and don't have much longer to find someone. Should I keep trying or just give up and accept that I'm going to die alone?

As many as it takes, you can't give up on what you want. Persistence and confidence is key. I've been married for 18 years and faced plenty of rejection before I found my girl.

What did you do that worked? How did you get her to go out with you?

Its fucking annoying, 9/10 times girls are fucking emotional bullshit problems. Nothing but headaches and misery. Most of them have at least one fucking kid by the time they are 16 or by the time you get to them. If you go young then you have to deal with a little girl that doesn't know wtf she wants and is likely to stray and fuck some other dude/s behind your back. Clingy, controlling, or just too timid to even bother with. It is hard to find a good one, and if you do, she has kids. Bet

We talked alot, I made her laugh, asked her questions about herself, lots of late night walks through the park. It honestly just kind of happened. I didn't plan anything or play games, I was myself and she liked that, next thing I knew we were married with one asshole kid.

Can you elaborate? What sort of issues and emotional problems do they have?

But presumably at some point you had to specifically make a move, right? There are a few women I know who fit into a lot of those categories. We talk a lot, laugh, ask questions, etc. But still never make it beyond friends.

Haha, u fucked up the parenting part

Have you gone in for the kiss? You have be confident you're going to get it before you do. They can smell lack of self confidence from a mile away. Take it slow and don't expect her to rip her clothes off right away. Rome wasn't built in a day, neither are worthwhile relationships.

No kidding, he's a little asshole.

Nope, never tried for a kiss. Never been on a date either, so there hasn't really been any opportunity to kiss. The furthest I've gotten is when a girl held my hand about a decade ago.

I'm not all incel woman hater or anything, girls are awesome but to have a relationship with one you have to ask yourself. Do I want to be with this girl in the long run? If you do then you are going to have to accept all her baggage and deal with everything. If all you want is a fuck, then just date and smash. The problems most girls have is trust issues with guys due to the fact they have been screwed over emotionally by their passed experiences. It kind of labels all of us as the same. Now if you find a girl that hasn't been in the game you won the lottery and get to shape her to your liking.

As far as meeting a girl, dont act fake. If a girl likes you she likes you, its up to you to figure it out when the moment comes up. Good luck homie

Then you need to start asking girls if they want to go get a coffee or dinner. Take her to a small coffeeshop with a live band or something, or out to a movie. She says no, then play it off and move on. It's all you can do. They can only friend zone you if you let them friend zone you. If she doesn't want to get to know you, then she isn't worth your time.

What's the difference between getting coffee as friends and getting coffee as a date? I've been out one on one with a couple of women, but it's always been purely platonic. Do you say something different in the way you ask?

No, not really. You just talk, maybe go for a light touch of the arm and work your way from there. Physical contact is a good way to gauge interest. If she doesn't pull away, you can push it a little further with like a good night kiss at the end of the night. Just make sure you talk about her.

If you don't say anything different when you ask, how does she know if it's a date or not? How do you know if it's a date or not?

Good question, I'm not entirely sure how you would know without asking. Or just head it off and say "you wanna go out on a date and get some coffee? We could hit that place downtown." That way you know before you go.

never had a girlfriend, I don't know. I just cant seem to land one. dudes that are crippled, lazy, drug-addicted, govt-dole receivers who don't even bathe regularly can get 6-7/10 women pregnant and I cant even get a woman to look at me. im not sure what they have that I don't but its something extremely important apparently

Obviously it's self confidence, you need to quit being so down on yourself. Those guys you talk about, know what they want and they have the confidence to get it.

How do you have confidence in something when you've never had any success in that area? Confidence is a result of success. Confidence without any success or any reason to believe you'll be successful is just idiocy.

Then don't focus on success in that one area, challenge yourself in other areas and it will lead into confidence in yourself that will translate into confidence with ladies. Go mountain climbing, take taekwondo, play chess, build up a foundation of confidence.

For starters stop being a fucking pussy. You need to change something in your life. Whether that’s your diet, physical appearance or self confidence, fucking change it. It’s not rocket science and you only get one chance in life. It comes down to you.

Looking deep into her eyes with gentle caring smile, spark in your eye and then closing for the kiss, long as both parties are into it. This requires reading of the mood or manipulation of said mood for the purpose with something like "Did you know that eyes are mirror of the soul and you can tell lots of things from person by that... and your eyes show how gentle and caring you are" or describe things you like in her character (move you hand to her cheek, gently and slowly petting it with you thumb), followed by "I really like you **** but havent been able to bring it out as suitable words (this point you are closing in), so if you allow, i would like to show you how i feel (contact!!)" if she havent turned you down, or there havent been distraction like phone ringing you can be pretty certain she feels alike.
While this is somewhat just hit tactic, reading peoples eyes and face movements do actually tell what they are thinking/ feeling at the moment. If she looks at you with glossy eyes and pupils slightly dilated its sign that she is entirely hypnotized by your eyes and words while exited. If her pupils are really dilated it could be that she is in slight panic.

Reward of this working is great, but mind you that those 10-15 seconds make or brake whole thing and will make things bit awkward for your future relationship.

If she rejects you by looking away or pushing your hand away its a no go, abort and readjust with "i'm sorry, i have been feeling this way long time and just wanted it off from chest. I really like you what ever it is as dear friend or as a beautiful woman.
With this you might have chance later when she has pondered it and causing her to possible create feelings towards you.

Most important thing is that you need to come up right words your self and be genuine with them, hell even manipulate your self to believe so, as lies/act are also rather easy to read from persons face. But not everyone is sociopath, so be your self.

I have confidence in certain areas of my life, where I have demonstrated competence to myself and others. That confidence doesn't translate to areas where I have zero experience.
If I somehow found myself in the cockpit of a 747, all the confidence in the world wouldn't help me fly it, since I have no experience. It's the same way with dating.
Yikes, that sounds terrifying. What you describe sounds like scenes in movies that took days of rehearsal and 20 different takes to get right, and yet you're somehow expected to get it right on the first shot, not even knowing if she's interested or not. How the hell do people manage to do that?

If you've mastered that, then women should be no problem. Just apply the same confidence to them and you'll be fine. Don't be afraid to fuck up, and stop being so down on yourself. You can't reasonably expect someone to love you if you hate yourself. That's about the best I can do here. My house was built in 1912 and it's still standing. Why? Because it has a good foundation. You can't build anything that will last for a long time without a good foundation. Solve that, and you're gold.

Thanks, I hope you're right. I just tense up even thinking about trying something like that. It's hard for me to imagine things playing out well.

It's nice, but also takes an incredible amount of time and money. And that's not just to woo someone, either- simply being in a relationship can get really taxing, especially if you work full time like most men do. See >be either attractive or successful
Really better to be some degree of both. Being successful but not attractive is the beta provider danger zone.

>just be yourself, bro
>just be confident
yeah you know that's bullshit lol theres something else going on or missing. at least in my case.

im educated, have a job, im not fat, and yet literal cripples are reproducing where im not. my close friends have begun to bitch at me about my virginity and perpetual singleness. they tried to play matchmaker last night and the girl fucking hated me. snarling at me and shit. then they bitched at me today when she left. "bro you're almost 30, you need to find a woman. what the fuck are you doing? her ex literally didn't bathe and is a crippled drug addict and she told my wife she fucking hates you. you're a good looking dude with an education and a job. stop fucking up, you're too old to be a single virgin. we're worried about you, man. this happens every time. my dirty-ass coworker wooed her in 1 hour this morning and has her number." with his wife saying, "what the fuck user? i don't want him touching her. she needs a good dude in her life, not him. how did you fuck this up? this is exactly what we didn't want to happen. are you gay or something?"

theres definitely something else going on that isn't confidence related. im missing something that other men just naturally have.

Wow that's rough. Any specifics on what she or you did when interacting with each other? Clearly something happened for her to hate you (or maybe you just assume she hated you and she was actually just indifferent).

You're probably a really entitled sperg or the asshole of your circle of friends. Try assessing your interactions more.

>What's it like to have a girlfriend?
if she works and has her own money its nice
>How do you find someone willing to date you?
you talk to them

Red some of the replies about not knowing how to change from friendship to relationship. My advice is to meet new wamenz and approach them from a relationship stand point and make it obvious that you are interested in a relationship not just a friendship. Even if you crash and burn all you are doing is trying to show the girls you are just friends with that you are interested in having a relationship with someone. If those girls like you back they will give you hints, you have to watch carefully for them though. Then if you think you see those hints you approach them the way you have been approaching those new wamenz, as though you are interested in a relationship, ask them out on dates give them compliments, buy them flowers even ECT.

TLDR:
Meet new wamens and practice trying to start a relationship with them, if you crash and burn it's fine you are getting practice and also showing the wamenz you do know, that you are interested in having a relationship. Ez mode

It's overrated. They are expensive, annoying, and entitled. Just smash until you're 30.

OP is retarded. He doesn't understand anything you said.

If I crash and burn when I meet someone new, why wouldn't I crash and burn with someone I'm already friends with?
And how would she even know I was trying to hit on them? I'm not exactly going to invite a friend along to a date with someone else.

I'm 33. Now what?
Gee, thanks.

... and you've never had a girlfriend? Why might that be?

Second this advice.
A girl knows right away if she's interested in dating you or not. If you approach timidly as a friend, that's all you'll EVER be. If she's not interested, don't waste your time or hers. It will never change from friendship to relationship. A lot of girls are too nice to reject outright and try to let you down easy by being friendly, but this just prolongs your suffering.

Don't misunderstand, though: if you get friendzoned, it's because she's genuinely not interested in dating/fucking you, and if you stay in the friendzone it's your fault for sticking around like a pathetic leech. Be clear from the start that you want to take her on a date, and if she says no it's no problem. Just consider it practice and move on.

For reasons I've mentioned in this thread. I have no idea how to flirt, or ask someone on a date, or read signals, or escalate a relationship. When it comes to dating, you name it and I don't know how to do it.
What if you don't realize your interested in someone until you get to know them? How would you even realize you want to date someone until you've already talked to them for a while and learned some basic things about them?

Bad advice. Never do this.
If you're already friends and she's interested in more, she'd be dropping lots of hints. If she's not hinting, you'll just put her on the spot and ruin the friendship.
If you feel that strongly about it, you'll have to bite the bullet and just ask her if she's interested in dating you. Expect the answer to be no, and expect that it will make your friendship very awkward and possibly destroy it.

No, it has to be more than that. Women tend to look at the superficial, e.g. car, house, job, physique, etc. No girl wants to date a full grown man who works at 7 eleven, takes the bus to work, and lives with his mother.

You're being autistic and pretending it's 1/1000
The odds are a lot better than that. If you don't ever ask, the odds are guaranteed to be zero.

Damn right.

Does that mean that you should be dropping hints as well? She might be thinking the same thing: "if he's interested in more, he'd be dropping lots of hints".
I don't know where you got the idea that I work at 7 eleven. I have a good career, nice house, nice car. I'm doing just fine financially and haven't lived with my mother in well over a decade.
What do you think the odds are then? Since I've never had a single success, it's very hard for me to judge the odds.

Those guys weren't "too forward", those guys were straight-up rapists, or date rapists, or abusing positions of power to try to coerce sex, or wouldn't take no for an answer and became stalkerish. Are you seeing the pattern here?

Introducing yourself to a girl and telling her you would like to take her out to dinner is being forward and confident. If she's interested, she says yes. If she's not interested, she declines.

You're pretending this is hard when it isn't. Expressing interest is completely natural, billions of people have done it and had sex with each other. It's kinda the point. Yet here you sit, all alone, imagining horror scenarios where you say hi to a girl and end up imprisoned for rape.

That's a worst case scenario, no doubt. Much more likely is her telling all her friends what I creep I was for trying to ask her out, and thinking I might have had a chance with her.

When you stop being so pathetic that you need women to be "willing" to date you... Its not a fucking charity. Work on yourself. Looks if you want a bimbo. Personality of you want a wife. But first of all lose the victim attitude asking for pussy like its charity.

No. Girls get asked out all the time. It's a routine interaction, and unless you're doing something super unusual and weird it won't bear mention later.

I've actually figured out what your problem is, why your matchmaking thing failed so hard. I'm not saying this to be insulting, but here it is: you are relentlessly negative, and it's extremely draining. Nobody wants to sit around and listen to that shit.

What's wrong with wanting her to be willing? If she isn't willing that sounds pretty rapey.

33 years without experiencing sex or a normal human relationship will do that to a person. It's driving me insane.

It didn't do anything to you. It's your fault. You're driving yourself insane. Take some fucking responsibility.

Numerous Yea Forumsros have given you the keys in this thread. It's not difficult. But instead of listening, you bat every single piece of sensible advice away. Well guess what: you don't get to do that because you don't know what you're talking about. You have never done what you're being told to do by people who have done this successfully, so how could you sit there and be so sure that it won't work?

Seriously. If I went out with a girl and she talked like you, I wouldn't go out with her again. It's draining, and it's annoying.

Take some fucking responsibility for your life. Stop bitching and start being interesting. Talk a little about your interests and ask lots of questions about them and their interests.

There's an old episode of King of the Hill where Bobby wants to know Boomhauer's secret to always getting new women, so Boomhauer takes him out to observe. He goes to a place and just starts talking to women and gets rejected over and over again. Bobby kinda freaks out and Boomhauer tells him "it ain't no thing" and just keeps trying until he finds a girl.

Don't be Bobby, humiliated by rejection. You see a girl you might be interested in, you go say hi. If she blows you off, it ain't no thing, you don't know her anyways so it means nothing. Talk to another girl.

Maybe going to the mall and talking to every girl you see isn't the best advice, but as you go out and live your life, just talk to girls you see that don't have wedding rings on.

Girls know the game and they're probably looking for someone too. Sure, they can afford to be more picky than guys can because they have more options, but it's a numbers game, there's roughly as many girls as there are guys, so there are a lot of girls out there and you're bound to find some. I've seen some ugly or giant guys get with some pretty good looking girls because they had the balls to ask. Just do it.

Also, not trying to be mean or condescending... but in case you're grungy... shower, wash your hair, don't wear unwashed or wrinkled clothes, brush your teeth, be a guy that a girl would want to be interested in. You could probably even get girls if you're gross, but trust me, you don't want the kinds of girls that will be interested in you if you're gross.

Oh, I know it's my fault, and that just makes it worse. But again, the part I don't get is how you differentiate from a normal friendly conversation. There are a few women I've spent quite a bit of time talking to about my interests and their interests. These are the same women you guys are telling me to not try with because I'm already stuck in the friendzone. If having interesting conversations was all it takes, I'd already be dating someone.
How do you know if you're interested in some random person you see at a mall or something? At that point, all you know is looks, and you don't know anything about their personality. Do normal people go on dates knowing nothing about the other person?
And for what it's worth, I shower at least once a day.

You're fixating on one detail at a time and ignoring all the others. ASK HER OUT ON A DATE, then avoid being a downer and bitching like you're doing now, instead be interesting.

You already know you bring enough to the table: you have good hygiene, you have a good job, you're not fat. That's more than enough that many women would be interested in dating.

The entire purpose of a date is to get to know someone, and it's set in the context of potentially romantic relationship.

I mean, you don't know anything about them other than their looks when you see them, and they don't know anything about you. If you see a girl you think you would be attracted to, that's when you go and talk to them. If they think they might be attracted to you as well, they will probably say yes. Then you go grab lunch or coffee or something that is small and noncommittal in a public place. Don't offer to pick her up or go on a big date or anything, that kinda freaks girls out since it's not the 1950's.

Ask her to meet you sometime in the coming days for coffee or lunch at a place and sit down and chat for 20 minutes. That's how you'd get to know her. You don't have to commit to marrying someone on a first date, the lunch or coffee is just a time to get to know someone and learn a bit more about them. You both get a chance to learn a bit more about each other. If either of you aren't a fan, it's easy for either of you to say "thanks it was fun, have a good one" and take off easily.

I don't know what normal people do. Some people date people they are friends with, some people date strangers that way if it doesn't work out they don't lose a friend. Since you're not having much luck with the girls you know who are your friends, go for the strangers.