People that attempted suicide. What made you cross the line and do it?

Long story. But a few weeks ago I attempted to off myself after years of emotional torment and what I now know to be undiagnosed bipolar disorder. I had a mood swing after falling out with my closest friend and, believing I had nothing left to live for, decided to put a gun to my head again. This was the 3rd time and every time my hand locks up and I can't do it, despite wanting it so badly. Then I get a call from a guy asking me to come outside. I walk out the side door and was greeted by a flashlight and cops telling me to put my hands up and drop to my knees. I later found out that the friend I mentioned earlier called 911 because she was worried I would hurt myself. The cops took my guns and I was shipped to a mental hospital for 5 days where I met a bunch of new friends and found a new purpose in life.

I still think about it from time to time but I'm sure I won't try it again, on account of the cocktail of meds I'm on. Things are looking up now.

I wanted relief from a deep depression.

Depression caused by my first serious relationship ending over a text message.

I knew she was cheating on me while I was away in basic training. I was numb for a while, did my thing partied up had sex with other chicks. It steadily got worse over 2 years, and all came to a head one night when I was on the phone with a friend.

I got up and downed a ton of different pills from whatever was in my cabinet. Surprising part is that was the best night of sleep I've ever got. I woke up feeling great but I turned myself into a psych ward and got help.

It's been 10 years since then.

Bipolar is a bitch, brother.

Damn I thought this shit would die fast. More sad fuckers than I thought. Guess it's nice to not be alone

You'd be surprised what the world does to a lot of people man.

Hell yeah. I've finally got meds for it now so at least I'm making progress.

That's one thing I learned at the hospital, people are always there for you. All you have to do is reach out.

You must've been to so e nice hospital then

It has an amalgamation of events. I had unmedicated depression and bipolar throughout my teens, and then developed type 1 diabetes (the bad kind. The kind you get by being unlucky), which also fucked up my mood worse (hyperglycemia affects how you feel. Tired, irritated, sad, etc)
and to top it off, my father had left my family.
These problems made me lose my first job too, which only fucked me up more. All this was when I was 16 (21 now).
So I was basically everynight drowning myself in sorrow - listening to nine inch nails hurt, asleep by the Smiths, etc.

Now here is where I fuck up in a way that still makes me feel bad to this day: I went on a suicide board and started a thread on ligature, which was a supposedly easy and quick painless way to die.
That thread got 700 replies from anons discussing how to do it.
The reason it fucks with me is because I wonder how many people I have indirectly killed from making that thread and giving them the means to die.

So, tried ligature. Shirt around the neck. Mother knocked on door so I stopped. Next I tried overdosing on insulin to die in a coma. As I drew like 100 units of novolog I went "wait. I got this far without meds so I will try it I guess"
Got medicated and then got a ged in 2 months. Went from a highschool dropout with math issues to that.
Now, did my life get easier as they always claim it will? Hell no, my life sucks. But, what does get easy is your ability to *cope*. I feel strong having made it so far. I also feel old as fuck, stupidly enough; it feels like I'm fucking 50.
So yeah that's my story

unshakeable feeling and couldn't stop thinking about it. it overtook me. Even crisis line could only help me calm down but not stop the thoughts

Voices out of the fucking hell they never stop talking and they say I should try it again and again

Wow, people that are such losers that they can't even succeed at suicide.

This, every fucking day I have to deal with motherfucker ruining my life, always mocking me

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>tech death
>rings of sadturd
Wrong

Idk man Just bad thoughts and bad irl experiences adds up

Because Greta Thumberg said the world was going to end.

I am entirely aware I was a little bitch during this story.

>mad crush on this girl
>extreme anxiety over when and how I should tell her how I feel
>dropping hints every once in a while
>she finally puts two and two together while we are texting one day
>"I think you have had a crush on me and you need to know I don't feel the same way at all. It would never work out between us. Also I'm seeing someone right now."
>I threw my phone at the wall and grabbed a box cutter nearby
>I repeat "you just killed me. you just fucking killed me" whilst cutting at my forearm
>turns out human skin is pretty tough and veins aren't as close to the surface as they seem

Two weeks at a psych ward. Food wasn't that bad there.

Existential crisis

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Let's see
>First time was a distortion of reality, with a heavy punch of anxiety and depression
>2nd,3rd, and 4th for the same reason
>5th was due to a heavy build up of anxiety, due to a core trigger.
>And the most recent was due to anxiety, and depression medication scrambling my mind into psychosis.