New job coming up. Not smoked in 3 months. Took piss test...

New job coming up. Not smoked in 3 months. Took piss test. Aftrler piss test job emails me saying they have no record of my results. Said I needed to retest. After my drug test yesterday, I smoked a single bowl of mid grade stuff.

Am I fucked?

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It depends when the test is. Drink tons of water to try and help it get out of your system but if it is within a couple weeks you're probably fucked.

lmao imagine having to take a piss test for work

You’ll be fine as long as you take it soon. Thc takes a few days to bind to fat cells. Also the more body fat you have the longer it stays in your system.

>staying clean for 3mo
>doing a piss test
>being too much of a retard to wait until you get a pass/offer letter to DUDE WEED LMAO and literally getting high the same day
Pottery. Enjoy McJobs for life, retard.

You can refuse on the grounds that they have already tested you, but legally you probably don’t have a leg to stand on. A one-time consumption after a period of abstinence is usually not detectable after a 48 hour period. Since THC is fat soluble, you can help yourself by starving yourself and doing moderate exercise for an extended period of time, like walking for a couple hours twice a day and eating a diet that is high in fiber and water (like as small amount of oatmeal and fruit...enough to give you energy, but not enough so that your body will store fat). If you only smoked one bowl and the test is more than 48 hours away, you should be fine, if you consume too much water, there is a chance the test will come back diluted.

Now that I’ve told you how to cheat the system, user, let me tell you something important about yourself: you don’t follow the rules and would do better finding a job that doesn’t drug test. Cannabis is legal in (soon to be) eleven states. Employers can refuse to hire those who consume it in all of them (with pending legislation in Nevada, I think). If you cheat the system and get away with it, then it’s probably only a matter of time before you get caught for not following some other rule and getting fired for it. If you can make it three months without weed, you can certainly do the responsible thing and quit...which is what you should do as long as you expect to keep breaking the rules and getting away with it.

It's actually a job repairing medical machinery and pay 64k a year.

Also

I knew the test would come up clean because of how long I waited, so I had a single bowl to celebrate no longer needing to wait. I've literally never had a piss test just disappear in the system before.

You're right I should switch to alcohol because that's legal ergo safer right?

If I want to smoke a bowl of weed after a 9 hour workday and I've got fuck all else going on after my shift that's my business. I don't get why people are framing this like I'm some desperate junkie. I stopped for 3 months to get clean, I did the test and presumed I was done finally so had a bowl to celebrate. The work I do is stressful and it helps me relax, why is that so bad?

anecdotally you're fine if it was just a single bowl and you're not super fat you'll be fine but if you're that worried go look into synthetic urine on the internet, the good stuff with the right chemical and physical properties as urine has is like $40 but it's worth it

i remember when i was 23 and had my first 60k+ job.

lol

Oh look another internet rich guy.

Post paystub with time stamp, lying broke ass nobody

you mad, son.

This is a tactic companies use to try to catch people.

They "lose" your initial test and "have to test you again"

You got baited, it seems.

Science is right
Advice is condescending

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Because you aren’t following the rules. Do this without facing consequences enough, and you will convince yourself that they don’t apply to you. If they randomly test at your workplace and you pee hot, why don’t you take your response and read it to the HR department of your future employer and see how far that gets you, The Supreme Court has already ruled that you do not have a right to privacy when it comes to drug testing, so...

move to canada we dont judge and you will make more

You're amazing! How you can type, act holier than thou, be an asshole and suck dick at the same time.

Presuming you're retarded or trolling so either way not worth talking too but you do know with the exception of truck driving or some shit employers do not randomly drug test right? Like only if you're acting fucked up while at work, otherwise they don't give a shit.

That's not a difficult concept for you.

"But ur not following dah rules! Wah!" Lol... Stay mad, Melvin.

Most labs test for synthetics and adulterants. Don’t be $40 poorer and without a job.

Did I harsh you buzz, user?

I’m not mad and everything I wrote was true. The easiest and best way to pass a drug test is not to cheat, Argue in favor of cheating all you want,,,and when you and everyone else who gets caught and fired doesn’t have a job, you can form one gigantic circle jerk and talk about how unfair it is,,,

The important distinction is that it’s legal. It doesn’t matter if it’s a million times more dangerous and how little sense it makes as a society we deemed alcohol acceptable so yes...switch to booze and enjoy your new job.

Why not just buy a bottle of quick fix synthetic urine and use that to be safe? Depends on how much this job is worth to u I guess. It's never failed me, works every time.

bring piss with you, strap it to your leg in a saline bag

source? I've never seen anyone fail a drug test with synthetic urine and I'm not sure what synthetic element they'd test for if it were formulated correctly with the right gravity, temperature, gravity, uric acid content and so fourth.

right?

That’s a lot of gravity

You were fucked when you let other people tell you what you can or cannot put in your body. Get another job or work for yourself. Sell pot!

I can't overstate the gravity of the situation

It's legal in plenty of places. Probably not where OP lives though

I don’t have to source shit. Just because you don’t know anyone who has been caught does not prove that it is effective. The companies that market these products typically offer a legal disclaimer about how it has to be used “legally” and some even go as far as to back it up with a guarantee that you will pass. Well, guess what? If you fail, there isn’t a court in the land that is going to reverse an employer’s decision not to hire you. And if you think you can sue the company that makes the product for misleading marketing, be prepared to be ignored by their legal team (which is quite good due to all the revenue they have) and then have your money wasted and your case thrown out. Maybe today you won’t get caught...but you are always taking the risk, if you want a job, like a grown-up, then acting like a grown-up is always your best bet. 10 times out of ten you will get the job and get to keep it.

>I don’t have to source shit
And no one has to believe you based on anecdotes. Lol why are you so defensive?

In all of the places where it is legal, it is also legal for an employer not to hire you and to fire you if they detect THC metabolites, with the possible exception of Nevada, which has pending legislation, I believe.

Use fake piss for the next time dummy.

If you think stating the facts is being defensive, then I really can’t argue with you, can I?

How about you hand deliver your previous test results to their incompetent HR department? Imagine having to do someone else's job before even being paid. Consider applying to somewhere who didn't hire a diversity monkey for their HR.

Two words babe: Monkey Piss

I'm surprised people don't know about this tactic in 2019. Half the places I've worked for hae "lost" a piss test. To be honest so I can't blame them for doing that. You have to be a colossal stoner to immediately light up after a test

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>I've literally never had a piss test just disappear in the system before.
that's just a polite way of saying that they don't want you, deal with it

It's not that they don't want him personally, it's that they don't want anyone who the need to immediately smoke after a piss test

It depends on the company doing the test. Who is hiring you... If its someone like Walmart or Target, youre fine they dont care.

If its a big company, nice office job or something, yes you are fucked.

Basically shit companies hiring droves of workers know everyone smokes weed. So they send the tests to shitty drug test companies and everyone gets inconclusive on their test cause its a shitty test.

Companies that actually want to ensure youre not smoking weed (for whatever reason, weed is always the only thing that shows up on drug tests cause its the only drug that stays in your system for more than 48 hours.) will send your piss to a real company, that will get the inconclusive at first (cause you tried all the wives tale shit like vinegar and b12), then they send it to an even better lab which determines WHY the test was inconclusive, and what caused it to be inconclusive... So the big question is OP

Where are you applying

Do you know the name of the lab they use, how many people work there, is the place a revolving door

Fucking this
Is everyone ignoring the fact the company is aware of pothead behaviors?
OP rewards himself with pot. He doesn't just take it to have a good time. He takes it to help get through a tough time. Hard pass on that mentality too

That sounds like something a poor person would ask

OP hurr

Surprised thread is still up.

Um, I don't take it to get through a tough time. I'm not having a tough time. I'm doing work I love doing but I'm freelance right now. Found a regular job that I also love doing which pays a bit better. My friend grows weed and wanted me to try some. We went out and got the piss test done then we smoked together and hung out.

Sounds like a good time in my book.

So can everyone chill tf out, because all I want to know is if I'll still be able to pass if I've got until the 27th to test again, considering I smoked one bowl on the 19th which is the first bowl I smoked in a little over three months. Not super into pot so I don't know how long it stays in your system and I keep getting conflicting answers.

I really don't get why this thread turned into a judgement thread. Life is short, let people do what the fuck they want lol, why are you all getting mad over other peoples choices that do not affect you or your life. I don't freak out when people don't smoke, that's their choice.

I'm literally just curious if I'd pass. I'm not worried about passing. If I don't then all that means is I go back to my freelance work making more than enough money to pay my bills and have cash leftover to do whatever. Y'all seriously need to chill

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You're a disgusting piece of shit pothead, you're always fucked. Neck yourself.

Suck a dick you degenerate faggot. What kind of a fucking moron you have to be to think that drug abuse is an acceptable behaviour for adult person.

Oh fuck anyone who judges you OP. Story time

I am without a doubt the hardest working person at my job besides the store manager. Our job is to write service tickets on cars. I have written 4200 since the beginning of the year. THe next highest person is at 3700. The lowest person is at 1500 (lazy fuck that claims to be a Christian, doesnt drink, smoke, do anything illegal.) Heres a little more background on me. I am a fucking stoner. I get high when Im not at work. I roll up 3-4 joints a day the size of your middle finger.

No one knew that about me at first at work. This just went on for like a year, I keep it a secret as I always do. Then, suddenly the company gets bought by another owner. No one warns us, 3 months later SURPRISE pee tests.

I figured I was fucked. I didnt know anyone who smokes half as much weed as I do. But I knew my boss would give me an excellent reccomendation and get me hired somewhere where he knows people (Car industry is like that)

So I started telling everyone I was a stoner, and I was gonna fail my drug test and it had been nice working with them. Everyone freaked out, and all the sudden my HR manager calls like...the corporations highest level HR dude, explains to them I am essential to the business, never call out - work three times harder than any other employee - and they will not really accept losing me.

So they kept me, cause I am a stoner that works three times harder than your average chucklehead. Faster and smarter.

Dont ever let any limp dick fuck tell you how to life your live OP. Especially faggots from Yea Forums acting like they make 120k a year online from Moms basement.

lol alright, I keep forgetting Yea Forums is nothing but children watching dick rate/cuck/loli threads these days

im outtie

THIS

>enough to give you energy
You don't get energy from food you fucking fruitcake. Imagine this faggot stuffing himself like a hedonist, thinking it will work, trying for that 2000 calorie good-boy mark. Eat me, goy.

yes byebye employment. back to sucking cocks you degenerate hippie

Seth Rogen, Bob Marley, Snoop Dogg, Oliver Stone, Rihanna, Carl Sagan, Bryan Cranston, Madonna

All smoke weed and are smarter and have more money than you.

switch to the hypnotic spiral. weed breaks down your motor skills

Half of the IT are riding kites, what the fuck are you touting about?

>Seth Rogen, Bob Marley, Snoop Dogg, Oliver Stone, Rihanna, Carl Sagan, Bryan Cranston, Madonna
All entertainers. Nothing more than clowns and dancing monkeys.

>Still smarter and have more money than you

I included Carl Sagan in that list for a reason. He was a Cosmologist that was smarter, had more money than you and smoked weed every day.

This kids is why you dont smoke until your test results come back clear, fucktard

Seth Rogen smokes weed?

WOW. I guess an exception makes the rule! Pack it up boys! Show's over!

Maybe he shouldn't rely on drugs to pacify him like some infantile turd

Dont forget about Michael Phelps, who is a 100x times more athletic than you, successful and has much more money than you will ever make.

Yeah theres millions of successful cannabis users out there that smoke daily, and have more money and success than you ever will. Enjoy it man.

Sucks to suck, shouldn't commit a federal crime

>let people do what the fuck they want lol
conformnity is pantamount to behaving as a cohesive working group. even by socializing you are betraying the reality of necessitate work-ethic. give it up.

By a bottle of upass it's fake piss it will pass a rapid response test

I'm basically the same, always have a really strong track record with any job I'm doing. This job I'm about to (hopefully) start pays out 64k a year, which is more than my freelance work gets me. So I definitely want the job but I'm a frugal person who doesn't need much so I'm not going to be devastated if I don't get it.

As for weed, never smoked weed while working. I just can't function like that. I also don't drive after smoking. I get off work and get groceries if I need them then spend a few hours high, smoke a bit more before bed to help with insomnia, then I'm sober all throughout work. Can't stand alcohol... the taste, how it makes you feel, the side effects, etc.

Imagine working lol

>I don’t have to source shit
the burden of proof is on the claimant. of course you're not going to be able to sue them, that would be ridiculous given the nature of the product.

I wouldn't even wipe my ass with that plant. Fucking retard.

weed smokes seth rogen

Swimming sure is Rocket Surgery.

On the contrary, he needs to stuff himself with as much greasy food as possible so the THC gets diluted in the greasy mess
Also, diarrhea

Swimming isnt "rocket surgery" but neither is scanning items at walmart like you do.

Post a pay stub showing us how successful you are, or hush now child.

Yeah your scummy body shouldnt ever be anywhere near the mother goddess, cannabis. Small cock too I bet.

Youre not even a good or funny troll man. Youre like a stupid 14 year old straight edge kid. Thats what you sound like.

Stop acting tough. You are nothing more than a junkie faggot that nobody can rely on. Worthless scum.

Just use fake piss unless they're searching you or something. Sold at most head shops.

Yeah that sounds fishy as fuck
Almost like someone ratted you out

Yeah I get it from Mom I always say. Moms not a stoner but shes a badass at her job and is the absolute top of the line in her field, does all the training etc.

She is better than me though as she does all that and doesnt get high lol. I dont think theres anything wrong with getting stoned but...Groundhog day man. Live you best life. Mine involves weed for now.

The rules are outdated. Stop having autism

Yes. Order synthetic urine asap.

This too... OP if I was you, after I take the second piss test, if they tell you that you failed Id say

WELL, WITH YOU GUYS LOSING PISS TESTS WILLY NILLY, ARE YOU EVEN SURE THATS MY PEE THAT FAILED...SEEMS LIKE YALL ARE UNORGANIZED.

Did the stoners not invite you to their circle in high school? Wtf Melvin. Stop being autism.

Synthetic urine is only fool proof for clod companies like Walmart and Target who want to hire unmotivated potheads.

An actual big company paying a nice salary will detect fake piss in an instant.

It‘s good to have a couple months break every now and then

No. Drink lots a water, you'll be fine

>"Stating facts"
>"I don't have the source"


Kys. Autism is a choice.

True! You could question the laboratory's chain of custody

No, bro, I'm a CT fag, and I've used it for several drug tests. I always keep one on hand. This is what I use.

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Weeds good. Fuck the rules. It's not going tomake me bad at my job

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I work for a car dealership group worth over a billion dollars. Someone tried that method. He got an inconclusive for the first test just like I did. Then they sent it to one of the most advanced labs on the east coast, which determined WHY it was inconclusive, because it was fake piss... It all depends on the company doing the testing and how serious they are about it.

CT fag, RN fag here. Where I come from, they check temperature on these, and they run a creatinine test. Does this pass the creat test?

Stupid is as stupid does

Well, not all synthetics are created equal. This stuff costs $55 a pop. I do contract radiography and have to piss before each new contract. I'm just saying, after three years, it hasn't failed me yet.

But you broke the rules. My new is Melvin, and I'm telling on you.

Yes, and it includes a heating pack that maintains a temperature of 99°-100° for eight hours.

Seeth more, Melvin.

This is why you're a friendless virgin, Melvin.

Lmao. Typical addict behavior

Sounds like you don’t work a respectable job my man

Vitimin C and niocine. You will itch for a bit, but it will flush out ahte little boit in your system. I did this for my job. Im a heavy user. I was shocked when it work. Give it a try user.

and you sound like a braindead retard who fried his brains into gay pozzed jizz
>HURR I SMOKE DA 'ERB MAN I'M SUCH A GENIUS BADASS

>niocine
*niacin

I also know people who've made a tea from Golden Seal, and they said that it worked. However, I can neither confirm nor deny its efficacy as I normally use synthetics.

I sound like a "braindead retard" who "friend his brains"

Now you REALLY sound like a middle schooler stringing together redundant insults to try and get your point across quickly cause youre too asshurt to think about forming a coherent sentence.

Lol. Yeah hes in middle school guys.

Not gonna Ad Hominem, that argument is pretty dull.

Yeah you should try smoking weed, it might make you creative enough to come up with an intelligent insult that doesn't sound like it came out of a schoolboys mouth.

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I lold

Way to sage, user. Seriously.

Again this ONLY works for companies that do not truly care who they are hiring and have piss tests in place to detect true degenerates, and because they have agreements to increase the profits of drug test companies.

Taking B12, Niacin, Vinegar, all that wives tale shit works only to PRODUCE AN INCONCLUSIVE TEST... WHich than can be sent to a badass labratory which will determine WHY it was inconclusive.

Reminder that you are arguing with retards who think they get superpowers from smoking.

It worked for me. Thats all I claimed. LabCorp was the tester I believe. Until YOU have tried it, or have scientific evidence that it cannot work, then you are just guessing at what works and what doesn't.

Reminder, you're a literal friendless virgin

testclear.com
They have overnight shipping options
You just mix the powdered piss with hot water in the vial, shake it till it dissolves, strap the handwarmer to it. Then wear a pair of girls panties, the kind that have the little pocket of fabric right at the crotch to soak up the coochie juice. Stick the vial in that pocket. You can even wear the panties over your boxes if they're uncomfortable. Then go to the drug test. They'll usually make you empty your pockets and then pat them down a bit, nothing extensive. Then you go in the bathroom, pull the vial out, take off the handwarmer, open the lid, and blow gently and swirl it around. Within a minute you'll see the temperature drop below 100F on the thermometer sticker attached to the vial. Depending on the type of thermosticker, You'll see the black color change into a rainbow/color gradient from the high end of the scale and move move down Once it reaches 98.6 (which should be in the center of the strip and marked clearly) you pour it in their testing places cup and seal it. Put the other shit back in your pockets and walk right out and hand it to them. Viola! This is how 90% of bluecollar and many white collar people get their jobs. Like EVERYONE at my old warehouse job smoked weed.

> Weed
> True Degenerate
Right.

Oh shit forgot to add get a second vial and just fill it with hot water. Put a handwarmer on that too. Some places require a more substantial sample these days so one vial might not reach the fill line on it's own.

Half??!?

I haven't been piss tested for an IT job. Ever.

90% of my coworkers have some flavor of drug habit (or their 20 year old girlfriends do).

BTW it's real human piss. Kinda funny to imagine some straightedge guy boiling his piss down into powder and selling it for $30 a vial. Supposedly it comes from a supplier that sells clean piss used by real diagnostic labs to calibrate their own piss evaluating equipment. They don't name that supplier.