You hear a knock on your door

It has nice legs and big lips. Id attempt to fuck it(aggresively). Because if its hostile already, moms spaghetti, it won't let me sodomize it willingly.

One way ticket to getting murdered.
The only correct answer.

Wholesome hawk

Wake my wife and tell her, it‘s her turn.

Challange it to a dance off.

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based lumposter

I won't go down without a fight, that fag will bleed, I might die but I will take him down with me to hell.

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Punch

always this

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Whip out my dick make furious eye contact and assert my dominance

R
rape it

tell it about how my crush took a random picture of me today, even had me say cheese and everything, and i’m still not convinced she actually likes me back... hopefully he’d have some good advice for me.

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clothes the door

stare at it, it cant move if i can see it

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Pump it's guts full of lead

Lay down some sweet moves and romance the hell out of it. In a couple years we have a home and a family. We're happily married. Life is good. That's when phase 2 begins.

I cheat on it with another, hotter nightmare creature. I completely destroy it emotionally when I let it know that the sex was all I ever cared about. I get the kids because nightmare creatures have no rights in court.

>victory

>hear a knock on my door
>suddenly OP's pic peeks in
>me:....
>monster:....
>me:plays youtube.com/watch?v=bCqAdk4MSVM
>monster: :)
And that's how I lost my virginity.