I work as a security screneer at an airport. Ask me anything

What is the weirdest shit that has made the metal detector get triggered?

What's it like to have the most worthless job on the planet?

A 7 inch stainless steel butt plug which was still in its owner's ass lol.

Oh, sounds like mr. Poopy Pants got something confiscated at the airport, huh?

why are you guys such faggots? not every flyer is a regular flyer. it's been 5 years since I last flew. Keeping up to date with rules and regulation isn't exactly a priority. You don't need to talk down to me like that.

No, I work a real profession as an air traffic controller for the FAA and it always seems like you faggots talk like you are on the same level as us, with your $25k a year

Just buy a ticket for the body, put it on a wheelchair and make it go though security as a passenger. If asked something just say he is paraplegic, deaf and that at the moment he is sleeping. Maybe a pair of sunglasses will help. Easy as that.
A vibrator. The story went like this: a woman triggered the alarm. She removed all the metal objects and she would still trigger it. We performed a manual search, but came inconclusive. She sometimes started acting weird, which only made us more and more suspicious. So, a female colleague took her into a private room for more deep searching. Turns out she had a vibrator in her pussy, the ones that can be controlled via an app and she was playing this game with her boyfriend. Nobody was amused, especially when they had to deal with the police afterwards.
Quite good.

If someone is gay, do they get to search their own sex?

No, they get gassed along with thr kikes and the crpples.

I try to be very comprehensive with passenger. I get that most of them are not frequent flyers and don't know how everything should be done. But after the 300th passenger passes under the metal detector with their phones in the pockets, or when asked if they have a laptop or tablet inside their bags answers no, just to come back 30 seconds later to separate the laptop from the bag saying "but it was turned off, so it's ok" it starts getting on your nerves. You have no idea of the bullshit we hear every day. That's why most of us are quite nervous all the time.
Well, good for you, It's a nice job that I admire. But, you know, I had a choice between scamming people trying to sell water purifiers that claim to cure cancer, or this. And, quite honestly, I preferred to to this. Trying to find a good job nowadays it's really hard.
Yes.

I get that you don't DEAL with drugs but do they come up on body scanners? just like a pill or smth

We do not use body scanners. We tried them for a bit, but we found out that they were pretty useless, since it was far easier to hide something on a body scanner than on a metal detector.

so as long as you don't have any metal on you, you could have a decent amount of pills just sitting in your pocket and it wouldn't go off?

Are you a child molester?

Technically speaking, yes. But if we notice a bulge in your pockets on in your dress, we will ask you to show us what it is, even if it didn't set it off, so it's not that easy. Also, before and after our checks you can be stopped by the customs to do a check on drugs, so it's not that easy.

Nope. But I wouldn't mind having a go with some of the younger girls nowadays. I mean, I've seen 14-15 yo girls that look like they are 22 yo pornstars on set. I think I've seen more pussy and panties than any pornstar.