Oh hey user didn't see you there. What'll it be?

Oh hey user didn't see you there. What'll it be?

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You're cum daddy, uwu.

Three bud lights should be enough to make me think that I’m happy please.

Hine Rare SVOP

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You know how kids run their cups through the drink machines at taco bell filling it with a combination of every drink and call it a "suicide?"

Just give me the alcoholic version of that.

The Adult Suicide.

Make it a double.

>Spit in it if you want, I don't plan on tipping.

you want that stuff, try the red light district two blocks over
no problem user, three bud lights coming right up. so what brings you in tonight user?

one Hine Rare coming right up
you ok user? guessing you had a rough day. One double suicide

fuck, you got a towel?

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easy there bud, I might have to cut you off *cleans up mess*

I'm jober as a sudge, you don't know me

I'll take one of your finest ales and a rye. What a fucking day

alright bud, time to get you a cab
well at least you can take a off in here. here's your ale and rye

one alcohol please, make it strong

I need two shots of Jack, and one light beer

I've been trying to get a drink for 15 minutes. are you ignoring me because i'm black?

I have my own car, I'll make my own way home. *drops keys*

The young Mexican boy at work keeps calling me "voilador"


I'm going to get fired.

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do you allow minors in? Im sick and tired of going to weenie hut juniors, i'll just have a soda if that's ok

Yo bartender we need security
This black guy is trying to steal the booze behind the counter

nah man it ain't like that at all. i work here, i'm just on my 15 minute break from the gloryhole in the bathroom

I didn't realize they let your kind in here

Is that a good boy.

A double jack and coke and bring over an ashtray

it's cool, like i said, i work here. why don't you come into the bathroom and we can suck each other's cocks, i'll give you 20% off since you're a frequent customer

Well you should be fired! It felt like a child with braces was trying to literally eat my dick

melon vodka with 7up, the best fucking drink i ever drank in years

I like you, Lloyd. I always liked you. You were always the best of them. Best goddamned bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine. Or Portland, Oregon, for that matter.

One vodka and water please, Russian standard if you have it, otherwise something polish will do

Triple glenrothes and a pitcher of steam whistle. Oh and a shot of newfie screech. It's been a long weekend.
I do believe that's called a long island iced tea

i'll just sit right here because i don't have anywhere else to go *sits on stool at the end of the bar and gets on phone*

I'll take a triple Morgan Gold Spiced and a Coke, rough day at work.