>you wake up
>It's been 6x10^21 years since the last natural fusion event in the universe
>with just the limited information available about the physical laws of this place, you realize something went horribly right
>you are a boltzmann brain
>you ascertain you have formed from proton saturated lead isotopes and use the fluctuation of background tachyons to facilitate synaptic events
>you span some 8x10^33 cubic AU across and encompass several hundred trillion leaden star tombs, with ample molecules capable of serving as memory sinks
>it's very cold
>what do you will and what mysteries will be unraveled with your immense power of contemplation?
You wake up
yes
I send you back to hell for being a retard
zero activity is hell?
Edginess for the sake of edginess seems like a hell one could more easily find themselves relegated to.
I will complete hedonistic pleasure until I can no longer function. It is the only logical want.
I'm too stupid for this.
have sex
BEEP BOOP I HAVE COMPUTED THAT OP IS A GAY TURBO-NERD WITH MY TACHYON SPACE BRAINS
I will contract the universe into singularity and re-release it into new existence.
Then I start a "Rate my dick thread on Yea Forums"
>6x10^21
nigga that's how many atoms of carbon are in a diamond.
not really the right context for this one is it?
you might have hardwired yourself, I would try to internalize your statements before you blurt them out and out yourself as lacking proper cognitive tools
>being this retarded
tbf, someone has to be this retarded for you to be slightly less retarded and have context.
>you attempt to measure the limitations of your ability to synthesize reception of emotions
>you find a plethora of experiences in this moment, but all seemingly alien. they are not your feelings
>perhaps another being would be better suited for pleasure. you consider this idea and with it comes an emotion you can process; inspiration. you capture this feeling and prepare it to follow your intentions
God.
>you attempt manipulating the magnetic fields of your memory banks towards a compressive end. this results in a brief choking of your available processing ability but you find the results interesting
>in one instance you are able to manifest a black hole with a non-relativistic spin rate. unlike the destructive black holes littering your own being, this pin prick can be fed and harvested for energy.
>you have built a battery for yourself to achieve more powerful tasks. you have not been able to achieve any true singularity but this may be a step towards such a thing
hey look i’m OP i sound like a fag using my big gay fag words and faggy concepts
beats having a vocab limited to sexual derisions and a conceptual ability shallower than a salamander any day
>being this autistic
these comments sum up just how fucking stupid /b has become. spastic 8 year olds who cant make apple sauce from apples
>one thing seems certain;
>you are random, you are a mistake
>you were inevitable