Hey Yea Forums , help a Yea Forumsrother out. What's a good way to kill myself with out it looking like a suicide...

Hey Yea Forums , help a Yea Forumsrother out. What's a good way to kill myself with out it looking like a suicide? I don't mind some pain but it needs to look completely accidental, an act of nature. I have an $80,000 life insurance plan through my job and I want it to go to my parents so that my life atleast had a positive end.

Attached: 50516740_10156077368536447_3581168908503089152_n.jpg (428x428, 16K)

When your parents think of you, they won't be thinking about the money

Easy: Don't.

You already make your own money, and it doesn't really seem like you have a reason to die, unless you would like to share more details

Some jurisdictions (like most of the United States and England) allow a coroner to classify a death a suicide if it is likely that that was the result. You don’t need to rule out any other option, you just need to suspect beyond a reasonable doubt that suicide was the type of death.

Some jurisdictions (like Ontario in Canada and Ireland in the UK) require suicide to be a death-by-exclusion. This means that if someone dies and you can’t rule out an accident, or any other cause (e.g. misadventure), then you can’t rule it a suicide.

These jurisdictions have suicide rates at least 10% lower than those that allow suspected suicides to be recorded as such. This isn’t as big a deal since insurance has been required to pay out on suicide for many years, as long as you’re past the two-year “new policy” clause.

The reason I’m explaining this is because an accidental death that is really a suicide will look like any other way that people die. A single vehicle accident on a dry road, an overdose (or mixing) of prescribed medication, or a fall from a height are all ways that people genuinely die accidentally all the time.

Some of these people likely intended to die by suicide, but we can’t know because they’re not around to tell us.

I don't make much, I basically live paycheck to paycheck. I'm just tired of it all. I'm a failure through and through, for the last couple of years I've tried to stay confident and become more than what I am, but I've utterly failed at every turn.
I'm tired.

I've heard about the two year clause, but I've heard they don't pay out the full amount. Even so that means I have another year to go, not sure I can last that long.
>Also I live in Texas and we tend to favor companies over people

This is so simple. Hire a hitman to kill you, and tell him to make it look like a mugging. However, during the hit if you feel like you can’t go through with it, have a friend/family member/police officer hide in a bush/ dumpster. Have code word that you’ll say, and your ally can pop out and kill the hitman. Don’t ask the hitman not to kill you, because there’s a chance he’ll kill you anyway, because you probably already paid him. Also don’t kill yourself.

Trust me, they need the money more than they need me.

Just send a paycheck to them then

I've thought about this, but I figured it work 1 of 2 ways
A: the guy will just knock me out or restrain me and just take my shit, or
B: the guy will get caught and give the cops our line of communication to show I organized my own death and the insurance will use it as an excuse to not pay out