Feels thread

>feels thread

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I am the man that hath seen affliction by the rod of his wrath. He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his hand against me all the day. My flesh and my skin hath he made old; he hath broken my bones. He hath builded against me, and compassed me with gall and travail. He hath set me in dark places, as they that be dead of old. He hath hedged me about, that I cannot get out: he hath made my chain heavy. Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer.

>tfw you missed out on all the wonderful things in life that people reminisce about
>tfw there aren't even happy times to miss, all you can reminisce about are loneliness and >tfw you know you're unhappy, that you're not getting better, and that you're isolated from everyone else living a happy, productive, normal life
>tfw you settled for being content with everything - jobs, relationships, romance, hobbies - and never pushed yourself out of your comfort zone, and now you're settling.
>tfw you realize it could have all been different, but it isn't, and it never will be, and this is the reality we are stuck in.
>tfw even feels threads are empty because the entire board is just numbing itself with porn and traps to hide the pain

feelsbadman

I had a coffee with my ex yesterday. She doesn't love me anymore and we are just acquaintances now.

I'm fine.

Are you really fine user? Why did you break up?

>Are you really fine user? Why did you break up?
I'm really fine, which it's weird.
She met a guy at the gym.

Well, that sucks. I'm glad you are doing fine. I wish I could say the same

How long ago was it?

How long ago was what? If you mean break up, I meant to say I wish I could say I was fine in life, but I am not.

That's a pretty nice poem

I've had severe depression for the last few years, and it's to the point where it has basically destroyed my will to live.

I work from home in a dead-end copywriter job that barely pays the bills, and still can hardly bring myself to get a day's work done. I'm in a relationship with a woman who's caring, stable, and helps us get by, but not in love and don't really enjoy her company anymore. All of my hobbies have lost their appeal, and eventually so did drinking, drugs, fapping, etc. I can't find any reason to stay alive other than fearing the uncertainty of death.

What do?

>I wish I could say I was fine in life, but I am not.
What is bothering you, user?

>What do?
Take antidepressants.

>Constant depression due to my regret for having ruined every opportunity in life. Even though I'm only 19, it feels like I've done everything wrong, and have permanently reduced my chances at a good life
>Constant anxiety, to the point that I have resigned myself to the fact that I will never have a relationship or many friends
>Substance abuse. I've been bouncing between DXM and alcohol, but I will take anything I can get my hands on
I want nothing more than to kill myself, but I can't because doing that would place an immeasurable toll on my dad (I'm his only child), so I am stuck in this repeating loop of anguish at being alive, but despair over the fact that I can't end it

Ah, I see you have partaken in the Wormwood as well.

DUHHH CIRNGE!!!! DUHHH BRINGE!!???!!1 CRINGE!!!!! IS THAT ALL YOU SHITPOSTING FUCKS CAN SAY!!??? DURR BASED BASED BASED CRINGE CRINGE BASED BASED CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE BASED CRINGE I FEEL LIKE IM IN A FUCKING ASYLUM FULL OF DEMENTIA RIDDEN OLD PEOPLE THAT CAN DO NOTHING BUT REPEAT THE SAME FUCKING WORDS ON LOOP LIKE A FUCKING BROKEN RECORD CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE BASED BASED CRINGE ONIONS ONIONS ONIONS SNOYY ONIONS LOL ONIONS!!! CRINGE!!!1 BOOMER!! LE ZOOMER!!!! I AM BOOMER!!!! NO ZOOM ZOOM ZOOMIES ZOOMER GOING ZOOMIES AHGHGH I FUCKING HATE THE INTERNET SO GODDAMN MUCH FUCKJK YOU SHITPOST I HONEST TO GOD HOPE YOUR MOTHER CHOKES ON HER OWN FECES IN HELL YOU COCKSUCKER VUT OHHH I KNOWM MY POST IS CRINGE ISNT IT?? CRINGE CRINGE CRINGR CRINGEY BASED CRINGE BASED REDDIT REDDIT CRINGE ZOOM CRINGE ONIONS REDDIT BASED BASED!!!!!!!!

Don't worry I'm 31. If you can mantain a job you'll be fine.

You have a problem you autistic fuck

They void keeps growing bigger and bigger inside, anons. It thrives by consuming the emotions I have tried so hard to suppress but still spill like a glass full of water. Drop by drop it keeps expanding thus consuming my soul. It hurts, but it is an unknown kind of pain. It is the worst but the lightest one. How do I stop it? I want to feel empathy, I want to feel love but I cannot find someone worthy of kindness. Everybody seems to behave strange in some manner or another which bugs me everyday. Is there really someone for anyone? Despite the 7 billion souls that populate this planet, how many are truly alive?

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If you don't like Yea Forums you can kindly get the fuck out.

I can't. I'm unable to hold a job for longer than 2 months. Something always happens or I fuck it up. This has been a big cause for my depression

>hate normies
I avoid them

>Feel at home on Yea Forums
Writing always sounds autistic so treated like a normie

>Get telegram
Embraced and welcomed by far right groups in Russia, US and Ukraine.

Wtf is wrong with my brain, I fit in nowhere I want to but then have nazis/national socialists/white nationalists etc etc etc treat me like family.

How can I be so fucking odd, that the only ones who'll speak to me, are preparing for the race war

I've been on and off a few. I let them run their course but they never seemed to do anything.

I've also been to 5-6 therapists/counselors, and nobody has been effective in helping me to help myself. At the very most, they listen and try to offer advice, but it very rarely seems like they care about anything beyond the check at the end of the session, and they absolutely refuse to believe that they can be wrong. When I told my last doctor that my antidepressants weren't working, he basically said "that's impossible, I'm an expert in mental health, you must not be taking them right/at the right time of day/with the right food/etc.

It just all feels a bit hopeless. The drugs don't work, the therapists don't care, and to be frank I can't really afford either.

They make you numb and apathetic not better

Man, that sucks. You are still young tho. I'm sure you have time to learn from your mistakes and change.

Hey if your gonna be a little shit while people are pouring there hearts out you can go nad off

That's how they recruit. Groups like that know that they aren't palatable for general audiences, so they pursue people they feel are marginalized, lonely, sad, angry, and most importantly desperate for change.

So they offer you belonging, friendship, and a new lifestyle. They offer you someone else to blame for all your problems. They offer you companionship in exile.

But they don't really care about you. You're a piece of their machine. A subscriber to their channel. Another pair of ears to hear what they have to say. But that's it - you're not loved or included because you're you, but because they need 'someone' to include, someone who needs belonging and can't say no when they ask you to join in.

In your pain and desperation, that's you.

They work for me. Antidepressants to don't be sad and anphetamines to want to do things.

It's better to be numb than to be depressed and useless.

Leeee user got ditched.

> Weak should fear the strong

I've never had luck numbing myself with antidepressants, but I have had a lot of success getting some motivation and energy to do things by taking Vyvanse. The only problem there is when it makes me fixate on the negative things in my life, which pours all my energy into the singular act of being miserable.

OP here. Prozac made me incredibly happy the first time. I remember coming home from work and telling my dad how normal I was, how well I could talk to people , and just how great it felt to be happy. The only cons were that it gave me crazy nightmares

Everything ends.

Every breath you draw inches you nearer to your last, desperate, dying gasp. Every sunrise is one fewer than you'll see tomorrow, every sunset will usher you into one fewer night than you had.

Thirty-thousand. If you're lucky, you get thirty thousand days to live on this earth; depending on the decisions you make (or sheer dumb, unfortunate luck), you might get a little more, or a little less: but likely, you won't get more. One way or another, senescence, sickness, or savagery will take you. If you avoid accident, you might be deliberately murdered; if you avoid being murdered, you might get sick; and even if you manage to avoid getting killed by an accident, a murderer, or a disease, there is without a doubt an absolute certainty that time will take you if all the others fail.

We are alone among other species on this planet because we can ruminate on our demise. We know it's coming, not just at the moment we're dying, but in almost every moment before it. We set up elaborate rituals to shield ourselves from that unhappy fact: we invented a God who loved us when the world did not; a heaven to live in after hardship on this earth is over; our lies rob death of its sting, fill us with foolishness, impart an ignorant arrogance about our importance in this universe we (briefly) inhabit.

These self-deceptions are the source of so much misery. There is nothing in the sky but constellations, and this is enough. There's nothing after life but oblivion, and this is enough. There's nothing in this world than this moment, and this is enough. Once you abandon the fear of the end, the ending doesn't matter so much. That everything ends does not invalidate or make worthless the moments preceding the conclusion.

This world is a better one without the verbal trickery of religion in it.

Abandon it.

I was on Prozac for about two years, and Zoloft for another year and a half. I can't say either actually made a difference to how I felt or interacted with people, but both had pretty unpleasant side effects for me. I essentially had erectile dysfunction for 3.5 years, would get very sick and have tinnitus if I hadn't eaten in a while, and put on something like 40 lbs. Plus, these things take so long to show if they are working or not that it's a struggle to try new ones. After putting up with nasty side effects for the few months it takes most to kick in, I'm usually so miserable that I don't think I'd know if they were working anyways.

I was only on the 'zac for a month, so it could have been the placebo effect

ME SAD