You guys helped out alot last time. Hoping I can get more opinions. How have you guys gotten over past relationships...

Just saw your reply. I apologize :sweat_smile:

Where did you get that picture

time heals all

Work helps a little bit. Haven't really wanted to drink, that always makes it worse. Its like I lost my bestfriend at the same time

I hope so man

I honestly dont remember. I think on here

Thanks guys for the advice. Weekends are especially hard. That's when we always spent the most time together

Cocaine, hookers, and lots of alcohol mixed in with other drugs and lots of hookers. By the end of the first week on this new regiment, you'll be more worried about keeping the skin on your dick instead of worrying about the crazy cunt who would much rather like to kill you.

Hehehehhehe maybe if u post her nudes it'll help

my best friend and i dated for a year. it hurts more, knowing you won't go back to friends. we shared everything together. thing is, over time it really does dull the pain. drinking is definitely something that is there. don't get stuck on it. read books, watch simpy movies, go out for a walk, and just be a better person. working on yourself and finally understanding you are responsible for your happiness is a whole new fucking world. hit the gym. use your sadness/anger and lift more. i've done it, and man, did it feel amazing. i got big, got a new girl, and im doing better. am i still bitter about what i lost? of course. but you can't stay like that forever or else you'll die a bitter old POS and that's no fun. you'll be alright man. trust. pic related current gf sweet tiny titties

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I actually just got a new job so that's been keeping my mind occupied. But I still find myself thinking about her all the fucking time. Hoping to be better soon.

keep at it. thinking is okay, its gonna happen. you're never gonna stop thinking about it. it'll be at the back of your mind forever, or for at least a very long time. especially if you loved this girl, which it sounds like you may have. and that's not to say its a bad thing. you'll eventually come to realize though, you weren't meant for eachother. as bullshit as that sounds, and as much as i hated hearing it, it was right. when i heard it i got visibly angry, thinking of how the fuck we couldn't, we clicked. we'd known eachother for years. but its just life, man, life works in strange ways. and it sucks. but at the end, it usually works out if you put in the effort too.

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last one for your jerkoff purposes. im sure you spergs who are self-defeating have fun with this. i know when i was at that point i did.

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Dude, she stabbed you with a knife. Why the hell would you want to be with someone what threatens your life? Not worth it.

I thought we were meant for eachother. I sincerely thought we were going to get married and all that bullshit. We went through so much together. but you're probably right, it wasnt meant to be. It's hard to figure out how to carry on without her around

I hear you bro. I was angry for awhile, she would always get drunk and start fights. I should hate her and I wish I could. I tried to fix it but I couldn't. we never fought if we were sober.

Sorry guy. They are deleted

the anger will subside. i thought, i mean we had talked about getting married too. its hard to sympathise with other people but if you at least try to see that third person perspective, it helps. carry on like normal. carry yourself higher. you went through this. its a story, a chapter in the shitty book called life. its hard losing someone who meant so much, i won't deny your pain, not one bit. maybe it just wasn't the right time. maybe you were the right people for eachother but unluckily it was the wrong time, which in essence makes them the wrong person. thats some kinda word fuckery someone told me. and thinking about it now, they are right. you could have done everything right objectively, but there's nothing you could have done to influence their actions if they had already been set on taking them.

I really appreciate that. It's good to know someone else has been through it. It's just hard to turn the page. But, she needs help. I think it's hard because we didnt have any closure. After 5 years we are strangers to eachother.

Sorry for what you’re going through user. Best advice I could give you, and if you were to do this you gotta follow through. Write her a letter/message and then completely cut her out of your life. She sounds like a crazy psycho bitch and you should NEVER take her back. Ever.

Sending her a message and then blocking her is great for closure. Doesn’t really matter what you write, just make it clear she won’t be hearing from you again.

Thank you bro. I appreciate that. Its definitely not easy, I actually did write a letter. But I have a restraining order out so I cant talk to her. The letter helped a little, I basically said everything I wish I could have through all the years and said my goodbyes. I'm probably going to keep it and maybe look to it once in awhile

Why don't you print a picture of her and stab that? It may sound stupid, but I really believe that the reason you can't let go is because the passion you feel torwards her, being of a different quality from hers torwards you, is somehow trying to make you find a way to "turn her around".

And that is not gonna happen.

But you can turn the quality of your passion around without physically hurting her, and by doing so will symbollically make things even and finally let go, because when you stab the picture both sensations will collide and the illusion of love that still subsists will shatter like a mirror.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. You could also just try to wait until Time do its thing and eventually one day you no longer hurt; but if you go down that road, work on the side to learn to trust females again because, if you get into a relationship and project trust issues, it's not gonna work and the unsolved conflict within, pushed and squashed into the shadows of your mind and heart, might expand without a way for you to control it.

Distant hugs for you.

she does. but just like you, she's gotta do it herself. she cant do it relying on other people. sometimes not getting closure is closure. hard to make it for yourself, but you know logically you can't keep in this mood forever. so you've gotta make your own closure. turning the page won't happen overnight, or with one hooker, or a one night stand, or whatever you think will help you get over it. it takes time. it took me a whole fucking year to get over the 7 years of friendship i lost. i tried thinking occasionally though, closer to when i finally "got over it" was instead of "why is this happening, what can i do?" i thought, "what is this trying to teach me? what can i learn, so that it won't happen again?" there's no salvaging it, and that's the hard truth. try as you may, hope as you may, you know deep down, logically, that its impossible. the faster you learn that, the quicker you'll be back on your feet, buddy.

i had a boyfriend back in high school. he was my first serious relationship and we dated for 3 years. (4, if you count breaking up but still seeing each other and talking) it ended up not working out in the end. we thought we could still be friends. that turned around when he raped me at a park. ihad to call the cops on him and get a restraining order on him. for months and months, i didnt know his outcome because no one was willing to tell me. even though he hurt me, we never got that closure as well. we reconnected eventually and talked things through. we knew we cared about one another but we just kept hurting one another over and over again. i’d say just assume that youre better off without her. i wish i wouldnt have yearned for closure. i just feel like i wasted my time in the end.

That's a good way of looking at things, I just feel like so many things are left unsaid. I want an explanation. Or like you said, I need to figure out something to learn from it. It fucking just hurts alot. I forgive her but at the same time I dont for not choosing me over everything. I wish I could have made her see clearly

We were too close to ever be friends again. That I think would hurt worse. Kind of like you said.. I hope the best for her but she hurt me so much. I dont want to know what's going on in her life either at this point.

I'm going to try that actually. I've been finding pictures of her/us everywhere. Its fucking killing me. (She had one of those cameras that print the picture when you take it.) They're laying around my house everywhere and it makes it worse

If you have plenty of pictures, you could try moving slowly from those. Like, first scribble something on them, or scratch her face in anger with a pen or something. Maybe even pour your tears on them. As they become just a piece of paper with characters and a strange face then you could get rid of them by burning them, and let fire bring new opportunities into your life.

"Igne Natura Renovatur Integra".

I'll definitely keep that in mind. Not 100% sure if I'm ready to look at them yet though.

Alcohol for me too. A lot of alcohol and jerking off to the thought of her with a new boyfriend. Then I found a new girl too

You’re not alone OP. One night in College I decided to blow off my girlfriend and take shrooms with my best mate. She showed up the next day, and we had a fight, she clocked me once in the jaw then again for good measure, and slammed the door. As she was leaving I heard the glass outside my apartment break. The stupid cunt punched my window. I then held her arm together with a towel while she bled out on my floor. The paramedics saved her, whilst in the hospital the cops showed up, and told me I was the victim of domestic violence, the state went forward with the charges. In the reverse of your situation I stayed with her through the medical bills, and the physical therapy, and the crying. I even disappeared so that the state couldn’t press charges, no victim no case. She broke up with me a month after the charges were dismissed. We ended up getting back together, I let her move in with me rent free after college, she payed me back by not doing shit in the house and fucking me 2-4 times a month. When I eventually called it quits, and went to leave the state, she wouldn’t even see me to stay goodbye. Women are insane, they aren’t governed by logic or honor just emotion. Sometimes things just end, that’s life, you never truly get to say the things you want to, because we all think we have more time, ultimately it wouldn’t change anything. Toxic relationships are like a drug, and thinking about what you’d like to say, and idealizing your bond, just feeds the addiction. Try to remember that look in her eye when she stabbed you. Don’t waste your time on crazy people, they always make excuses for their behavior, and if you can glean anything from my story, she just would have kept taking. Move on with your life.

Damn dude. That's a crazy story. Its insane how selfish some can be. Maybe it did need to end. I dont know. But that's one thing she always did. She always had an excuse for the way she acted. Like one time she went crazy because I wouldn't go to bed at the same time as her so she started throwing fucking plates and shit. Completely destroyed the house and woke up like nothing happened. So many times stuff like that went down. But it wasnt always like that

It absolutely needed to end my guy, all the things left unsaid, were expressed ten fold when she stabbed you, that’s all you need to know about this girl, you don’t harm the people you love. It’s great to have someone that loves you so deeply, because that level of crazy is a pendulum, someone who can go that crazy can also love you with the same magnitude. Smashing all the plates is a relationship ender and maybe an adequate reaction if you fucked her sister, not cause you wouldn’t go to bed, wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone who you don’t have to constantly worry what you’re going to say or do that’ll set them off. She’s insane, and you know the definition of insanity, she won’t grow, and she won’t accept she’s the problem, because most people don’t have that level of self awareness. I’ve been there brother, it appears a lot of people have. Don’t send the letter, and leave it be, you don’t want this nutcase getting any whiff you want her back in your life, next time she might do more than stab you. After I broke up with my chick I found a cute 19 year old stoner chick, being in my mid 20s I’m not exactly proud of that, but it’s casual, and it’s great to roll over, fuck this high libido chick senseless and chill watching cartoons knowing their is zero expectation. It gets better. I want the same for you. You sound young relationships shouldn’t be this much work.

you'll never get an explanation. its been two years and occasionally i still think and want to text or call her and ask what went wrong, but what good is that gonna do? i stop myself. because i learned and understood that it won't lead to anything good. burn the pictures. all of them. i had pictures of her everywhere. my house felt empty without them for a very long time. i took them to my grill one night, along with all the handwritten birthday letters, the i miss you letters, and anything related to her, and tossed it on the griddle and set fire to them. then i wiped off the ashes and made a steak. my heart hurts still, when i think about it too much. thinking about everything i could've said differently. done differently. but that won't change things now. there's nothing wrong with forgiving her, as crazy as the things she made have done, but what you can learn easily is that you know not to let it happen again. instead of it being a red flag, its now a dealbreaker. you don't want to go through this pain, these problems again. it's all a learning experience. trial and error. some people get lucky and those people i'll admit i'm envious of. sometimes it takes much more than that. the fact that you're still beat up over her shows me at least, that you actually cared. that the feelings you had were real and that should be enough for you to see you tried your hardest. fill your time with something constructive. shit, even if its not constructive, do it. anything that gets your mind focused on not her. easier said than done, i know. but its all a process. wisdom and experience and all that bullshit, you know?

haha sounds like my ex. she went on a drug fueled rampage recently and got pregnant with some guy's kid. her sister was texting me shes not doing well and she tried killing herself, and i was just so confused. she texts me when shes not feeling well because she doesn't want the kid, and i don't have anything nice to say, so i say nothing at all.

I'm 24 we got together when I was 19. And you're right. It would be nice not to worry or be walking on eggshells wondering if something is going to set her off. I know she has a problem. I wish I was the solution. I would have done anything for her. I know she loved me, she just couldn't stay away from alcohol. We would have a huge fight one night and she would be drinking again the next. It was never going to get better

Yeah, definitely planning on burning the pictures. And I find myself doing the same thing. Wondering what I could have said or done. Or something I would change if I could go back. That's a hard thing to think about

That’s a classy solution, personally I’d block the sister or tell her to leave me out. My ex was never interested in sex, so although she probably did rebound, I’d never hear about it. There has to be some catharsis in one knowing she’s crashing and burning, and two there’s nothing that says 100% irredeemably over like being with another mans child. It’s one thing to be crazy and a whole other to be pregnant. Sounds like you dodged a bullet slick

first girlfriend who i ended on good terms with, who i still love, told me this, and it stuck with me and still has; "don't change because i want you to change. change because you want to change." those words have stuck with me even after all this time. you know she's not going to change easily. and its not your responsibility to try and get her to. even after all this time you've spent with her, its not. godspeed, buddy. i know, just like the pain i went through, that collectively as humans we go through, you'll come out on top. its past my bedtime here in the shithole that is california and i need to rest my bones. im not much of a god-person but i still "pray", and i pray you find your path, and your way. and you learn and get the best things you can get from this shitty experience. its never fun, losing people. you're gonna be alright, man. you did your best. goodnight.

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Not until she admits she has a problem. It’s gonna be okay brother, hardest part is extinguishing hope and letting go, at least the restraining order helps you not have to make contact. This is the reality you live in no second guessing, maybe there is quantum immortality, and this didn’t happen in another universe, but not in this one. youtu.be/k0GQSJrpVhM

This is a TED talk about breakups, I think it’ll help, because it explains why thinking about them only strengthens the neuro connections, and prevents you from moving on

i still care for her, though its that kind of care where you won't go out of your way but you hope that they're doing alright. "just because we're not friends doesn't mean we're enemies."
im more disappointed in the fact that she did this. upset, even. because the girl i fell in love with was not the girl who was this irresponsible, this irrational and stupid. but people change. i did at one point tell the sister off, mainly because she told me she said she needed me now. i did all that i could to try and save our relationship while we were in one, yet it was to no avail. disappointment from someone who cares about you i feel is more hurtful than gloating at their misfortune.

Hey thanks man. Best of luck to you.

Sucks man. It wasnt the same person I loved either. I gave her so many chances to change