Depression Thread

27 years old here, get ahead of your depression while you still have friends.
Eventually you’ll become a burden in their lives and left all alone

Sleeping too long has the same effects of not sleeping enough. Get an alarm clock and sleep 8 hours and 30 mins. Your welcome.

Thanks but, who told you i want to be awake from 16 hours a day

your cry for help numb nuts. Why the fuck even talk about it you needy bastard

I know I know, its good advice but staying awake is the painful part here, not the actual sleeping thing. The more I am awake the more time I have to my thoughts and just make myself feel worse. I didnt mean to come off that way, sorry.

What's the easiest and painless way to go out?

no2 poisoning/oxygen deprivation. i make 6 figures and think about killing myself daily.

i have 0 friends... this shit makes me depressed... fuck my life, i want to die but i'm afraid to kill myself

Go hire a prostitute

Smoke weed. Learn chinese, support the revolution. 无政府状态 [無政府狀態] wúzhèngfǔ zhuàngtài.

27 year old shit cunt. Can confirm.

Okay chad settle, its Yea Forums

Nah you’re good the more awake you are the more alive you are

you may need anxiety medication

I'm having difficulty with bills

currently listening to my drunk father's screaming match over the phone with some poor corporate bureaucrat wagie reverberate through the walls wondering how the fuck I'm gonna provide for my mother when he inevitably gets rekt in the stock market and loses the house to repay his debts

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My father got remarried to this woman that has 5 kids, 3 currently live with us whom are 14, 12, and 5. I have to constantly watch them while they go off being teenagers and my year long gf that I was living with broke up. Now I'm just in that shitty situation on what my next move is but it's hard to concentrate with all this noise

I just want a boyfriend that will love me for me and not want just sex.

I have my method ready and all of my notes written. Currently 24 years of age. I don't want to see 25. I hope you guys find peace somewhere.

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I'm depressed and have social anxiety. For me, what is always on my mind lately is how fast time passes and how pointless everything is. We suffer, and then we die. I hate everything.

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lets see the note

I hope all of you find your way, Im sorry that life is a struggle right now. Even though it does suck ass, I believe that one day all of us will find peace.

The lithium makes me not think about it but i've progressed literally zero in my life and im stagnating. I dont have a passion or drive in life and i dont see any worthwhile future

Where are you from?

Thanks /comfy/ user, I appreciate that.

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That's really nice user, did you take the picture? :)

I'm sorry but, I would rather keep it for those who need it. Here's one I was always fond of in return.

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So I've been feeling this anxiety whenever I'm feel alone. Since ever I've been that kind of person that enjoys being alive but hates feeling lonely. It's been for a couple of years now. Lastly its gotten worse and I can't handle it. Can't do shit, can't go to classes, just want to sleep.
I had a girlfriend and she tried her best to stay with me even when I said to her that she made me feel alone sometimes. She just called off the relation a couple days ago. So I've been having the worst anxiety attacks that I've ever had. Shits too tough to me. She just doesn't want to talk with me and I'm going through the process of dealing with myself again after being with her almost every time. And I've been trying to think about myself, reading and writing. Taking some space and time to myself. Going soon to therapy, I've come in therms that I cannot do this alone and don't want anyone to have to deal with my shit.

I'm just trying and will try till the end. Sometimes I'd love to have someone to give me some company... But I know that i have to do this alone. All of you, anons, are the closest thing to a friend that I've had for like 6 or 7 years. Always been lurking but I'm here to say that everything going to be fine, life's a mess, but let's try to keep things going. Life's worth even if we can't see it. So please user, hold on to it. I will do the same for you.

Btw, sorry for my english, not my native language.

Thanks, yeah I did. It was whilst on holiday and I added it to my comfy pics folder so I can look at it to calm me down when the depression or anxiety gets too unbearable.

all of you need to travel. You all are seeing to much of the same environment

When I was 18 I thought that if I made my first million before 30, everything would be easier.
Fast forward a little: am now 29 with a great career, over 1m€ in my portfolio, lots of beautiful yet shallow girls coming and going, nice house in an expensive area with under 45% mortgage, been all over the world, seen a lot, owned all he watches, cars and bullshit that society told me to.
Long story short, outside of my professional fasad, I'm still the same socially awkward btard I was 10 years ago. I'd pay to go back to my shitty old Mazda and that one girl that got away at highschool.

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Im sort of right there Yea Forumsrother. Im also getting ignored by someone I really care about, this has happened to me before already and going through the exact same feeling knowing I can't do much about it really hurts. Hang in there man, I hope you can get through it and find people who deserve you. I love you user please don't give up.

Its a very comfy pic, im gonna save it and post with it in the future :)

>post in depression thread on Yea Forums
>no one responds

Do you currently go to school or work or anything?

I will never be able to rekindle with my friends because I am such a dick who's living in the past and never learns from his mistakes and I wanna cry. Anyone else here wanting to die in their sleep?

I had to give up on a bunch of dreams since my eyesight disqualifies me and prevents me from achieving them.

Also I'll potentially have a wonky eye for life so I'll look funny. RIP chances of fucking hot hoes since a wonky eye is very unappealing.

Aww that's nice. I am always a fan of nature when it comes to /comfy/ and not the whole cyberpunk deal because it's too bleak and that's what I'm trying to avoid. Nature always reminds me of how insignificant I am and how I will be at one with it once I die. That thought gives me some relief.

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I don't remember the last time I had a good sleep

I love nature, sadly the country im in is really tiny and all of the nature is basically gone due to clearing it to build more apartments and stuff... I just wanna sit on some grass and breathe the air.

Sorry for mistakes, english is not my native language... I fucked up really badly a lot of things in my life. I'm depressed, have extreme social anxiety and I didn't sleep well not even once for more than 2 years. Last time I slept well was in hospital after anesthesia when I didn't even remember who I am. This shit was brilliant. The worst part is that I don't even want to fight my depression, because I know that after all what I have done, I definitely deserve it and maybe this is my atonement. At least I don't want to die. Sorry for bothering. Just wanted to tell someone...

Hang in there user. you're not bothering anyone. I hope you can get through this shit. Nobody deserves depression and I really doubt that you deserve it either.

You still can try to think about your attitudes, what's good and what's not. You can meet a lot of people out there. Just give yourself a try user.

Tight spot. Be positive a try to find something that can adjust to your dreams and still be able with your condition.

You are not a bother and please leave those feelings of guilt. Shit happens and doing them is part of growth and shit. You still can be happy, don't make yourself a Target to feel even more miserable. I know you can do it.

Same here. Have to put some YouTuber videos to conseal some sleep.

What's ur post user?

>What's on your mind
Depression
>how's life?
Non-existent

join my genocide vr server faggots

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Sort of going alright, but god damn do I hate my family habits. When you're trying to change your habits of not complaining when others ask of you constantly and their nerve to always guilt trip you and make you feel like shit when you haven't "done" anything.

Cmon, no bullshit like this in this thread please.

When I'll finally an hero I'll go straight to slit that motherfucker god throat. I death per year isn't definitely enough for my taste

which country are you from?

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I wish I'd never tried...
I'm trying my best past 2 years to fix my life. Still no GF, no Job, slowly run out of money. I send 70+ CV, was on 15+ interviews, hits more than 200 girls on the street, clubs, bars. I was in the gym 170times this year, ran 900km. It was for nothing. I was born like a loser I will die like loser period. Nietzsche was right, hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.

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same here man. 28, living with a girl i love and she makes me feel like the loneliest person alive. last few weeks she's been out "partying", only coming home for a couple of hours to sleep, and even then asked me to leave, so that she could be alone, and think about things. turns out she's been thinking about her ex that is about to get out of prison. he is a huge druggie and used to beat her, but she loved him blah blah blah. now she says she keeps thinking about him, sees him in her dreams every night, but says she doesnt want to be with him. and then she says stuff like if i see him im afraid i wont be able to control myself, i might end up with him, its not my fault. even though she doesnt know for sure if he's coming out or not. many times when im checking russian facebook (vk) i see her pop-up online and then that dude comes online, they log off at the same time too with a difference of couple minutes. or the other way around when he logs on and then she follows a minute later. kind of suspicious, but im a paranoid person and i dont know if its my mind playing tricks on me or if its real. I try to do everything i can for her, i try to be nice, hlep her out whenever i can, but i always get a feeling that she is just using me to do things for her. when she needs something from me she is super nice, and the rest of the time i dont exist, even though we live together. if i say i cant for some reason she starts threatening me with a breakup. normally id just say fuck you and leave, but im in a situation where i moved to an unfamiliar city where she lives, have no money at all because my paycheck is late, and i dont get enough to live somewhere else anyway. so i cant go anywhere, so i try to fix this, but it just gets worse. i really dont know what to do. after my next paycheck im leaving this job, trying to make money somewhere else. save up for my own place and leave.

but until then im trapped in this painful hell.

True.

If you pull only the black pill from Nietzsche, you read him wrong.
Sure god is dead, but that means we must make our own purpose, our own morals and our own happiness.
Things outside of you will not make you happier or your life better.
Doing good stuff to yourself and those around you will.
Unless you just came on here for sympathy or to just generally complain.

I’ve feel like I’ve gone numb from fear of pain and I’m left with nothing.

Malta. The pictures do look nice but im pretty tired of beaches, I want some green and trees.

no money no weed no beer no gf fucking kill me Yea Forumsro

Yes.

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I want to quit university and be a policeman, but that would not be apreciated in my house, probably that would be the final escuse to my father to kick me out, he threat me weakly with that

You can always find meaning in the Lord, user.

i cant even buy weed or beer how can i afford a hooker let alone gf l

Why does your father want you to stay in uni so much? Isnt it ok as long as you have a job?

At this point, if you want to become a policeman, I'd say go for it user. It's your life, and if push comes to shove talk to the police first about housing and that other stuff if it goes down.

Is more of who i am and my attitude

Generally complain, I haven't complained for years, I haven't cried for years, I also I have never been so down like today. I have to continue trying, what else to do anyway. I just have to bullshit myself that I'm not fucking some ugly fat chicks, they are smart, wise whatever, and that is why ther are better than hot girls. Also, I have to take some shit job and bullshit myself, that it is not that bad and other people with better jobs was just lucky...

Thanks, I'm trying... I don't even know what I'm trying, but I'm trying anyway. I didn't want to fuck everything up, really, but I don't think it even matters.

don't worry, you can do it.
You should try thinking of ways to destroy her life after you break up.

I have recently been manipulated. During the worst point in my life. By a woman that I have known since childhood. My first love, the girls who got away, I was tricked into believing she was back for good. At my worst, to save everything... It seems all these 30+ years of dreams, Hope's, wishes, waiting, time, love have been wasted on a lie. That will really kick you in the balls. Especially when you are already down and alone with no one and nothing else. I always was sure she was my soulmate.

I know that feeling too well...Im sorry user. People fucking suck. But don't give up, there's somebody who will make you feel amazing out there, probably also looking for somebody to make her feel amazing.

somebody know if i can smoke or drink some household shit to kill this pain

are you a regular on /r9k/ and Yea Forums?

damn that really sucks.

Hope you get a better life soon.

Not terrible but I'm too tired for anything i really just wanna drop out, get high, and kill myself life is too fucking boring and I really dont have the motivation for anything anymore

life's on an upswing for me. I used to be in that abyss, but with the help of a shrink I managed to find a way out. right now I'm optimistic and hopeful for tomorrow

yes brother yes

bullshit, after that long, you will never ever trust anyone ever again. Welcome in the real world, time to switch sites and fuck with other people feelings instead of they will fuck with yours.

try bleach.

fucking checked

what a nice GET

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Survive my fellow user

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Welcome. Find some naive, trusting young chick and fuck them...

Thanks Satan

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Found out I'm dying, doctors delayed in finding out what was wrong with me and because of it my chances of surviving into next year are slim to non, I'm 20. Treatment options are bassically non existent for my condition, I say bassically as the ones that are available are private treatment options which I or my family can't afford, they already have enough issues as it is with money issues and stuff, I've even my Dads become really withdrawn, I caught him crying a couple of nights ago which is unusual as I've never seen him cry. My girlfriend has become suicidal and her parents are worried about her, life is FUBAR for me.

I thought Malta was beautiful? it looks it. But I get that.

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same here

it looks like a sign maybe its my last days

I'm sorry user. At least you got cool trips. I hope you make it. When you walk on the other side it will be beautiful I'm sure. We'll all be there one day.

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Damn guys, this is a sad thread here. I can feel your emptiness from where I am sitting. I'm impulse BPD, severely depressed here. I use the devils cucumber daily to get down and think about... everything. Sometimes I think reality slip away, right through my hands. My wife has the same diagnosis. We went through hell together. We ate shit for a very long time. We're still together, rocking the boat. I can only tell you, something will keep you going. For me it was/psychological self torture, which also affects others, because I'm a manipulative asshole. Accept what you have. We're sick, we have depression. We haven't been asked for our opinion, or if we're okay with that. Something just went wrong along the way. But we are here to keep that old boy running. Keep it running folks, find your fuel, whatever it is and as long as you don't hurt others. Do whatever you like, once you did it, it'll feel better. Let it be your drug. Just go for this fucking adventures ride. It's something worth living for.

GoFundMe maybe, some kind of online fund raising. Might sound like begging but there's retards out there that make shitloads of money for invalid reasons. Yours is a valid reason.

Thanks man I appreciate it, I hope I make it by some miracle aswell as I really wanted to be a dad in the future, but I guess all we can do is hope.

>my first trips of the day feelsgoodman

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I've had depression for a long time. Getting good at recognizing the emotional flooding and spirals.

I cant get past the lack of interest in everything.

I started hating my job and hobbies.

Might just join the military and become a pilot. That's all I've ever wanted in life, but I'm tall af and have a neck injury from a car accident.

what is your condition?

i probably should, but i cant

Had a meeting with someone at work today suggesting that I take time off, go back to the doctor, and also they're recommending me for therapy. It seems weird seemingly actually doing things about it instead of standing still waiting to do. Don't get me wrong, still just wanting to be killed (suicide would probably hurt family more) but it's almost reassuring hearing people trying to help you, even if it is just so it doesn't make them look bad

I have found Akira the Don's 'Meaningwave' to be really helpful in my darkest hours. There are some really important messages to be absorbed from the philosopher's he includes in the music like Alan Watts and David Foster Wallace. And if that doesn't work, the music is very relaxing and nice.

youtube.com/watch?v=DhbAzFw-7xg&t=310s

I just want to fucking hang myself. I don't have anything to live for.

I've thought about but at the same time there's really no point, in the time it would take for the funds to be raised and then arranging the treatment I'll more than likely be dead, sucks ass but I've kinda accepted it a weird way. Parents did set one up though a while back and they did raise some money and through that i got into a private practice which is how I managed to get my original diagnosis. Parents are have discussed re-mortgaging the house to pay for treatment so that's in the pipeline, but IvI've told them that it's a but of dumb idea but I get why they want to it.

If only I had a genie lol

The only things that fill the void are things that destroy our bodys like druggs greassy junk food if there is a god he really is a douchebag troll.

>I started hating my job and hobbies.
Same... I tried to fix my lack of interest somehow and bought a 3D printer but now I hate it even more than I expected and my gf hates it as well, because I spend all my "free" time with this fucking printer I really hate. Seems funny and it is funny, but developing hate for hobbies that were huge part of my life isn't funny at all.

I've got a very aggressive form of brain cancer which from what I've been told has been in my body since I was around 16/7, it started to get progressively worse as I turned 19 and from there its goten worse.

F

They are going to censor the internet for free speech is what's on my fucking mind.

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I think life is slowly getting bored of things you thought you would never get bored of.

the power play is to leave him on your own user. you'll never gain control of your life if you don't wrestle it out of him.

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Congrats on your plan. Sounds great that you're going to get free. Sounds like you're thinking.

Sorry to hear that bro.

Feeling great. Finally solved my depression :)
If i was not a Yea Forumstard i would wish you the same so go kys

If i was joking with a gril andshe wrote to me that im like a brother to her is it over?

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Thanks bro I do appreciate your kind words

start a fundraiser if money is the issue. it's very common in my country and they show them on TV too. it prolly wouldn't feel good, but if you really wanna leave, you gotta try all your options.
or if you're fine with dying (as we all will eventually), welcome to the land of no responsibility, enjoy your motherfucking stay.

live*

>boomer advise

Ok so 4rth year in college now.. im almost done this is my last year and i hate how thinga turned out. I got a small circle which is not as shiet .. but ive never got with a girl and i guess never will if i dont chase. But seeing all these fake people and make me hate them. Been drinking quite much and alone mostly but other than that i feel that im done. My "circle" feels i am ungrateful and that i dont need more help cuz they failed a bit more classes than me and say i can study alone maybe. Anyway i guess i started feeling nice that things where settling after 2-3 years but now its the end.. what scares me the most is if ill find a job that id like (i even keep postponing things i really wanted to do like some trips i was sure i would go to and some advanced skills i wished i had )

TLDR ; Almost done with uni and am still not doing anything i want to and no gf.. Boohoo me ... I should kms .. maybe when all alone i will.

ikr, my fucking dad had to shag my crush's mom, and now I'm literally like a brother to her. fml

Only if you knew how bad things really are

Would you give your money?

atleast you can afford internet to shitpost on Yea Forums m8

im 23 kissless virgin and I feel like she is my last chance before wizardry

well bud i have bad news for you.......

nothing wrong with that

I've thought about doing just that. Being a 25yo v-card carrier is eating me from the inside.
I didn't care until I realized sex is something that most people have done and consider a very normal, trivial thing they suppose everyone has done. Then it hit me how useless, pathetic and a non-functional human being I am.
I literally cannot talk to a girl I like without stuttering or being pathetic in general so I don't even try. I'm a friendless loser, why would they even want to do anything with me?

I am decent looking, some people say I'm good looking too, so there's been times girls have looked a lot at me, given me all the signals to go talk them up and all I did was avoid their stare and uncomfortably go away full of shame.

I am afraid I will never be a man.

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Idk man as soon as im out of here ill have my degree in both computer science and wizardy too. I guess we can catch a beer or something

Maybe... but you know what? I might be wrong but I think I'm not bored exactly of things that are my hobbies but of people who have the same interests as me. I can only enjoy my hobbies if I can share them with other people. And I'm really tired of these people. Nowadays it looks (for me) like every hobby is "arms race" about how expensive devices someone can afford. Years ago I had an old dSLR with kit lens, my friend had dSLR with ripped-off display and scratched lens and everyone was happy to go together and take pictures. Now I should feel ashamed of not owning full frame camera. I just don't really need it but I feel like I'm constantly judged by others because "you can't afford it". But it is just my point of view. Just my observations I have even problem to write correctly in english.

This but you can get a dog.. at least thing about that you get a medium to normal job and get a dog. Then you live happy untill your family is dead .. then you can rip yourself of a scrapper.

ignore words and see what she's willing to do for you. if her idea of brotherhood is anything like my relationship with my brother, you're fucked.

save all the money you can and leave your country for a slav country or a southamerican country like argentina you will get pussy and have a pretty good life m8

Im killing myself tomorrow, everything is set , but none of the people arround me even suspect anything, theyre saying im getting better when in fact i'm just glad that I will finally be able to end life and go through the next door...

Im pretty much in your position. Fuck life

she has like 3 real older brothers so I wouldnt be suprised im fucked

F

And then you'll slide into hell to be tortured and suffer for millions of years.

Here's some thoughts on depression from quite a well known buddhist monk: youtube.com/watch?v=4N_jjY7W_fs

how is killing yourself manually different from eating to much sugar and fried chicken and having a heart attack christfag

hell is made up tho

no, you're not

Got my degree 4 years ago, but depression fucked me up and I haven't had the motivation or confidence to find a job in my field. Currently work at a restaurant. Used to be beautiful, but now am very overweight.

I know I suck at everything I do and that I'm completely worthless and I really hate myself so much. I cut myself when I can't control my emotions.

I wish I could kill myself, but I'm so afraid of death. I need to overcome that fear soon tho to better humanity. My family would be so much better without me.

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You are so pathetic.

> imagine believing religion is real

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People with social anxiety are some of most attention whoreing, narcissistic, self centered assholes on the planet they think they're so high and fucking mighty that when ever they go anywhere they assume all the focus is on them. If you call them out on their bullshit they will say some faggot shit like "youve never gone through mental illness so shut up" even though I have been diagnosed with clinical depression not to mention they all claim to be introverts yet will never shut the fuck up about how bad they have it and how they are so introverted and "quirky"

What's your degree?

Mass Communications. There are plenty of jobs available in my field, I just don't think my skills are up to par since I've been out of school for 4 years and haven't worked anything aside from food service.

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same :( literally the same
lately i am just letting everything around me pass me by, i was let go at work, and i don`t know what to do with my life. nothing makes sense. good luck, user :(

thats why bullying will never go out off fashion

Is the money ok what you're doing?

No it's not, I'm struggling to pay bills, which is why I need to do something soon. I've thought about going back to school to get my masters, because I do have funds for that, but I dont know if it would be a waste of money. Thought about trying to put out applications, but I'm afraid my apps will be ignored because of the 4 year gap between work in my field.

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I met two friends recently who I used to be really close with. they were never that close when we were younger but now they're really close and text each other everyday all the time, they're practically dating. I saw on her phone how much they message each other and it broke my heart. I have 4 contacts in my phone. my mom, my dad, my therapist, and my dealer. they invited me out, we smoked and drank and had a good time. Idk if I acted differently to how I used to. she hasn't changed at all since we were like 12 but he has quite a bit. they asked for my number and said they'd call. that's been nearly a month now and neither of them called. I don't think they will. I don't know why they asked for my number if they were never gonna call me. also she kept on going on about how depressed she was (like she always did when we were younger) and kept on making comments about how she's got no one. whilst sat right next to this guy hugging her. it made me mad to see her pretend to be lonely. she has no idea what real loneliness is. nobody thinks about me. I just sit on the shelf and watch the world go by doing nothing with my time.

I told them that all I do these days is get high and listen to music. and they were like "yeah me too, I love Imagine Dragons and Coldplay................"

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I don't know why your post drew me in but it did. I have faith in you. When I feel this way I'm always right. Either out our resumes or go for masters... I'll bet either way you'll be scooped up. You can very easily use the restaurant experience to your advantage. You can start a master's and still apply for jobs and abandon the degree once you get working can't you?

Just got a raise today.
I don't feel like I deserve it and it takes away my excuse to feel like a piece of shit, which is frustrating.
Otherwise just trying to postpone my suicide as long as possible for my family and few friends that I have left.
Thanks for asking.

Did you get thier numbers?

My fiance and I got addicted to huffing keyboard cleaner. I got all fucked up and hit her on multiple occasions. My mom is trying to convince me to go to rehab in the morning and to leave her because we are bad for each other. But shes the love of my life. I dont know what to do. I think I'm just gonna get drunk and an hero

Hell probably isn't real. why would it be?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=hTljCYjieJg

Life is beautiful

no I didn't. I was afraid if I asked for it they wouldn't have given it to me. also I've never asked for anybody's number in the past.

at least you've got a fiance. I seem normal to other people, yet no one has an interest in me. no one wants me.

I like going drinking and talk with people at the bar. Girl bartenders are often fun. Try it.

This shit right here ^ closing in on six figure income, no debt and accumulating investment properties. Great personal life, toxic family excommunicated, well traveled...but I want my busted 89 cougar back along with her and my ability to not black out drinking hard liquor

Thank you so much! It actually means a lot to hear this from someone I've never met, that you would actually have hope in me. Thank you, I promise I'll get the ball rolling on job prospects :)

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Been feeling pretty empty lately.
Fiance left me a few weeks ago and has been acting as if I've never existed. Kinda forgot how to live life without her and she left out of nowhere so having a hard time processing things.
Thinking about writing to her pouring out all of my anger and pretty much telling her to go fuck herself. what do

Also good idea about doing masters and a job in my field. I always thought it had to be one or the other, but never thought about doing both

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>be me
>work as electician
>start working this trade in 2004
>2008 comes by no one i know is working, me too
>do awful part time work to 2013
>save up enough to get a cheap work tuck and my license
>get huge contract to wire a mansion
>make almost 170 k profit
>I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel I am going to be free and have some spending cash!
>return to mansion for the last bits before we call for a final inspection.
>FBI are all over the place and we all get kicked out of the job site.
>two days later find out mainson owner is a conman who was fucking investors, rip
>then a week later I get a visit from a district lawyer and 2 cops.
>turns out I live in a state that, if I got paid by a guy who was ripping people off i have to give them back every penny I was paid to pay off his investors and whats left i can have.
>I was paying 3 guys and the wire and other stuff thats in the walls.
>they dont care
> Itold them I dont have all that money
>they just seized it
>my shity truck my 10 year old t.v , My fucking tools I need to make a living.
>i AM BEYOND BROKE
>I had to file for bankrupt
>my wife is pregnant, We waited to save up before we had a kid.she has to move back in with her mom and dad.
I cant get work with no tools,
A year more I struggled again with shitty part time jobs.
>I cant even get government benefits because of the the on going case with this conman.
>my wife who I would die for, Was forced by her dad to divorce me.
The judge felt bad for me at least and said I can have visitation rights when the kid is born and he wished me luck.
I would kill myself but I want to see that kid. Its all I live for.
My parents are dead My wife Has moved on, That fucking conman HAS a line a mile long of people who WILL kill him!
I know the plumber was in the same boat with me and has been biding his time to end the conman.
>I am on the knifes edge of ending it all
But hey, I still wont do drugs.

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Anyone in Minnesota or Wisconsin? We could go out and be miserable together

Excellent. I'm dead serious. When I feel this way I'm always right. Enjoy your excitement for life user.

Thanks user. I wish the same to you!

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Prostate Cancer. Dick permalimp now. Wife left me year following. Lost mansion. Acted out at work and lost 6 figure job. IRS audit and owe $25K I can't pay. About to eat a gun b4 Monday.

If I only had the guts to end it. I have everything prepared to end it in a snap, but I can't get over the the extra work I'm causing my family. I have a boring job, it's only advantage being the availability of drugs.
I just want to die, not because of my situation, but because I'm tired of living.

probably has a glioblastoma. Anything like will only prolong suffering. I hope you'll have a good anaesthesist, otherwise you are going to die a agonising and indignified death as the tumor will destroy your personality and set you back into mental childhood/a state of dementia.

Hey everyone, its OP, i left the thread to lay in bed and be a depressive shit but I just wanted to day im really glad the thread is still going and everyone is looking out for eachother. I love you all anons. Please join any depression threads, its nice seeing the love

I can't be bothered. It's not laziness because I still turn up for work on time and sober every day, I still eat relatively healthy food, I go to the gym, I don't drink myself to death like I used to, but I just feel empty. The second I stop doing anything and just sit or lay silent and idle, I just don't know why I continue living. It's not even living, it's just existing. I don't want to live but I don't even have the will to kill myself. I think I'm just waiting for something sufficiently depressing to try and tip me to the point of suicide, or maybe I'm waiting for something great to happen, to find love or something to make me feel something.

no offence to you (I don't feel this about other people) but if I went to a bar alone I'd just feel like a loser. I'd be afraid that people would know I was there alone and just looking for people. my dad has lived like this since he was 18. he's 65 now and still spends nearly every night at the bar talking to people he thinks are his friends. it's literally where he spends most of his life.

Right there with you user. I hope something fantastic happens to you and lifts your spirits

why u bragging about your fucking depression then cunt. no one gives a shit. we've all got fucking depression.

i dont want to fail anymore , i dont want to talk to my family anymore i dont want anything

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I guess it's not for everyone. I don't think they're friends and know I'll never see them again. Of course everyone knows I'm alone. I usually am alone and just don't mind. It was a thought.

Oh what a out this. I'm into jazz and most people aren't so I'd always go to jazz things alone. In fact a very good friend of mine I first met at a jazz thing. Do you like something most people don't like? If so it's not wierd to go alone. Also there'll be like-minded people there.

Yes.

Not OP but also depressive, I had a hard discussion with my mum, where i made clear that guilt tripping me, even if it is meant well will only make me feel like shit and that is not helping anyone, only took me like 15 years..

you feel better because you have something to look forward to. the occasion of killing yourself is something you have been working towards. it's filling the place of a goal, a destination. you can make something else the goal or destination and feel the same way. alot of people with depression are just reacting in a totally sensible manner to a meaningless existence which is nothing but a soulless grind. depression is the natural outcome of how we believe we are supposed to be living, except that it's not how we evolved and it's not how we are supposed to be living

I said it because I know what mental illness is like, otherwise I wouldn't have said it retard

I know going to stuff alone isn't weird. I meant specifically going to bars alone. I go to stuff I'm interested in alone all the time. I'm going to see King Gizzard play live alone pretty soon.

I truly appreciate that.
I have learned not to expect anything.
Lots of experience points here...

Been distracting myself pretty well lately, but it always comes back. I don't feel sad all the time, I just feel pointless, I don't care anymore. Currently in college and starting to skip more frequently. Not doing homework. What a way to start the semester.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.

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Been looking at a few chemicals to swallow. Sodium Azide on an empty stomach is looking tempting so far.

Being African American/ Native American yet also right wing. I can't find a single group that'll accept me. This shit fucking sucks.

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uncle tom, kek

Doing ok. Bought some groceries earlier.

Going to get a drink and have a chat with someone during intermission?

Oh it's a band. I thought a play. Regardless, maybe that'll turn out to be socially lucrative. Btw I'm going to check out that band right now. They're an Aussie band. Are you there or are they touring?

I just don't feel motivated. Don't want to play video games, talk to people, go to the gym, anything.

the only reason I'm alive is because a handful of people don't want me to die
I can't remember the last time I actually cried, it's all just numb now
I'd like to sleep

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I was pretty depressed until recently. My friend died in May last year and it was all downhill from there. A few weeks ago I had heard people at work talking insultingly about another co-worker of ours and it was sad to hear. The guy sounded really nice, it just seemed like he took friendship rather seriously, which is something I do as well. So I purposely reached out after hearing people 'talk shit' about him to try and be a good friend to him. He ended up helping me way more than I helped him.

The thing that was most interesting was that I thought he was just amazing, almost everything about him was just endearing, and I realized a lot of those qualities were qualities that I had as well. I hated them in myself because of the way people treated me, but to see someone else wear them so confidently was amazing. How could I love these qualities in him, but not in myself?

And then it all just sort of clicked. I don't hate myself, I just hate how people treat me as a result. It was something I forgot since my first friend died.

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Well, there is a lot of shit troubling me. But the thing at the forefront of my mind for some reason, is this one girl that I feel like I betrayed or scared off so to speak. Shes a really nice person, and she tried rly hard to make friends with me, like wanted me to have a party and invite her, talked to me in person occasionally, tries to get me to do stuff that she does sometimes, and I actually enjoy talking to her. She also happens to be really, really attractive. And I just so happen to have a problem with that sort of thing. Lets just say I have thousands of pics of her on my pc. thats not special, there are more of others that I don't talk to, and I have no feelings for her, its just something I do. But anyways, I feel like she may have seen through me recently, and I feel pretty horrible about it. Not like "oh shit im caught" but "well fuck she was actually a decent friend". She has no idea of the true nature of it but at the very least I think she knows I'm attracted to her. Which she doesn't mind necessarily, but shes stopped talking to me as much and removed me from her private sc story. Idk if she just thinks im uninterested in being friends or if she saw through me and backed off. She probably doesnt even remotely think of it but its bothering me a lot.

>Pic related
Fun fact, I didn't take that picture.

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Go kill the conman

Jeez find a way to enjoy that fortune, asshole

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My life has been one full of shame and guilt. For me, I have been unable to understand how a human should live. I honestly thought I finally was able to live among the other people, get to treat my friends well and accept the kind words of others, but again, I have been uncapable to reach other people's hearts and i have hurt them. I am a liar, i dont even feel human. At the age of 17, killing myself seems to be the best idea for the 3rd time.

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Develop a cocaine habit, try all the types they have, its great.

youtube.com/watch?v=3mZ0sSStW6Y

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Thatll just make me more depressed

Stop the humans.

Switched to online high school to finish early and started lifting daily for bout 7 months now but now that I have a better body I still feel empty. Nobody talks to me and I’ve closed off anyway. Might an hero later.

I have the chance to study in the same university with the girl i like but then i can't work full time which means i have to stay in the shitty house of my parents where i live in hell where they give me the fault for everything that happend between them.
The other possibility is that i go work so i can move out but it would be full time which means i can't go to the university.
What should i do?

>I hope that one day I’ll get fired so I’ll have the sand to kill myself.

I used to think this way. I once thought about throwing my cat off my 12th floor balcony in order to convince myself to follow her down.

Depression is a hideous bitch goddess.

I have ptsd/bipolar 1 and take care of my old mother that has Alzheimer's disease, i want to an hero.

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they're touring. you should really check them out if you haven't listened to them. psychedelic rock if that's your thing?

>
>This shit right here ^ closing in on six figure income, no debt and accumulating investment properties. Great personal life, toxic family excommunicated, well traveled...but I want my busted 89 cougar back along with her and my ability to not black out drinking hard liquor

I gotta say, I was on the road to professional "bliss" as well, but was derailed by substance abuse and depression. Now as I a result, I failed the bar exam, lost my gf, I've gone through bankruptcy, and had to move back with my parents.

My current job is washing dishes in a restaurant in my hometown. Just for weed and beer money. But with no debt, and no responsibility, and my mental health and sobriety mostly humming along okay, I feel a thousand times better than when I was working my last job in the legal services dept of a teaching/research hospital. Or even when I was in the mideast making 100,000k/yr teaching university.

I'm a goddamn 37 year old dishwasher that lives with his parents, and it's actually some of the least dissatisfied (if not super happy) I've ever been.

>But hey, I still wont do drugs.

Yeah but you should seriously do mushrooms. If anybody needs a reminder that there's beauty in the world, it's you.

Go to the university and stay with your girl. Spend as much time as you can away from home, and realize you're not going to be stuck there forever and that in the grand scheme of things, your parents shit doesn't really matter and you don't really have to invest so much energy and time giving a fuck about them.

Frustrated musician, one of my bands dissolved and the other one fired my up. I'm a great musician, and I terribly miss playing live every day. I know I'm not the perfect person, but I'm very tolerant when I'm at work.

In addition, I'm living again with parents afther the college and I can´t stand it. We have a local grocery shop and I'm doing every stupid shit they imagine, while they always compare me with other people and say I'm lazy.

I have no friends, GF studying in Gante. Somking joints (6-7 a day) daily, and they are fucking my voice. Plus I feel horrible every morning.

I feel terribly alone, and I don't see a solution for it. I'm starting to hate my GF for going to Gante while I'm like this, but I'm still reasonable.

I don't wait for a slution, just needed to say.

i stopped caring about pretty much everything which is bad but i actually kinda like it. i feel so numb that i don’t get anxious about shit that much anymore, i’m just... meh. if i die in my sleep that’s cool.

Jeez lots of little issues here people are depressed about. I’m depressed cuz I’ve been a heroin addict on and off for 9 years. Just got back on sub last week from a long period of speedball use. Doing stupid shit like that will make you depressed. I feel like i can’t make it through a day without altering my state of mind.

Jesus it fucking sucks how many people are exactly like us. wtf is wrong with the world? I truly hate modern society.

what does heroin feel like? honestly been thinking of trying it recently. my mum works with heroin addicts (you probably know her if you live in London lmao) and she's warned me how bad it is since I was like 2. I just wanna feel something great though. some beauty and happiness. something better than this shit.

You're in Dallas. Canadians always say they love Texas.

She's definitely setting you up so she can cheat on you and the claim it was your fault because 'you just don't give her butterflies anymore.' And 'no he really changed, he's different now!'

That's going to be a great show. Just checked them out.

>something better than this shit.

Mushrooms, man. A handful of mushrooms.

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What are your future plans and user?

mushrooms don't make me happy. don't get me wrong they're incredible. the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. but they also made me look at myself objectively and I saw how much of a loser I am. how worthless and so much like my father I am. it was both the best and the worst experience ever. I realised I'm the only one who calls people to hang out with. they never call me. so I stopped calling them, and they never called, and now I don't hang out with them anymore. for the first time I saw myself how I really was. and it was fucking awful. I hated myself. but I guess I've got some mental/personality disorders/illnesses cos when I'm sober I'm narcissistic and think I'm smarter and better than everyone else cos I'm not a slave like them.

but I have no one. I have no job. I have no future. I have nothing. I am nothing.

lost

> (You)
>What are your future plans and user?

Great question, and one that deserves an answer.

I have no idea. I'm in a position where I have no debt, but also no money; my professional network has collapsed and my references are stale, but I don't want to be a lawyer anyway (or a professor...have a PhD as well). At this point I just want a gig as a senior instructor in a philosophy department, to get married to someone who has an interesting career they like and I can help support, and maybe raise some kids.