I have a condition called Spinal Muscular Atrophy. Obscure as fuck. Similar to ALS. August was the awareness month so ask me questions or roast me or just shoot the shit.
I know Yea Forums isn't my personal army but I'm physically too weak to b8. I'm 24 and I never have. If you know anyone around Omaha Nebraska willing to help lemme know
I had CPR for 6 minutes back in 2015. I have proof. It was fucking wild
What is one thing you wish you could do that this condition has prevented you from doing?
Fucking hell, man. Post shoe on head.
How do you type.
Lmao. One. Too crippled to do that. Two. You gotta know that I don't have shoes ma
He doesn't type probably just mumbles into the speech to text and prays it gets it right.
Index finger on my phone
>I'm physically too weak to b8
Dude, I can cum hands-free. Not that difficult.
Honestly jacking. Nothing but something like archery catches my attention. Also being a better s/o
>Similar to ALS
No, it's not.
My girl died from ALS last year so fuck you
The fuck? How?
Get one of those mini crossbows that fire toothpicks, better than nothing.
I happen to live in Bellevue; finding anyone nearby is super rare
My condolences man but it's very similar. Only difference is that you're born with it
Hold up. Hold on a second. Wait just one second. Are you saying that your penis works and you get hard and you could cum if somebody was diddling your fiddle?
How big is your dick? Is it illegal to fuck with the handicap? Are you looking for a girl or guy to suck your willy (if it works)?
no shit? I'm right by the majestic.
You get one wish no gimmicks what do ya go for
lol how was that hawkings pussy? no one else would fuck you? lmao
Damn, you're not far at all
Yep. Muscular, not nerve.
pretty modest. A girl but to be completely honest with you my testosterone treatment for muscle growth is driving me goddamn insane so eventually it may be whatever I can get
Bellevue... WA?
POWER OF MIND.
Srsly tho, I needed a dildo at first, but it's gotten to the point where I can just sit straight and cum after few minutes of being horny. There are threads on /gif/ about it from time to time, maybe you'll see my vids lmao.
Nebraska.
Fuuuck. Probably fully normal from now on, but not a redo on life. This condition has brought some solid people into my life
>Girl
Oh. GL then. There are a lot of homos that would give you a hand job for sure just to help a bro out.
do all the people with your condition have working wieners and vaginas? I thought nothing worked on you all below the waist.
Do u have a pic of your dick? I feel like we need one ITT now to complete the picture.
Not at all. You here because of the chair force?
Nah, born & raised believe it or not. Probably will sign up eventually, though
For this condition yep. Everything works. Ironically enough I broke my leg in 6th grade. The fucking thing is useless but holy FUCK that hurt
I wanted to be a drone operator before I found out you still need to be able to complete basic
hire a tweaker to suck your dick.
Maybe some hotty caregiver will fall in love with you.
Kinda surprised you haven’t gotten a sympathy handy.
timestamp.. then ill have some questions.
Do you live here? Don't all gay guys have hella female friends?
OP, you sound like one alpha individual. I wish I had your confidence in life, though perhaps not at that expense. Wishing you good winds beneath your wings...
Best I can do immediately is my ceiling. The muscle restriction is unreal
I appreciate the hell out of that. I know you all probably hate reddit but you should check out my ama from last year. Super easy to find
tell your mom or dad that you want to cum before you die. one of them will play with your dick.
Cripple problems lmao. My webcam is so very slightly catching my dog
I hear the suicide rate is insanely high for drone operators
You should look into sex surrogate. It's legitimate work and they do work specifically with the population of the physically handicapped. They are professional about their service and completely understand your situation.
Fuck that. I'll keep my dignity over the 3 seconds of shame
suit yourself, literal incel.
Good thing it's nigh impossible to do it myself anyway but very good point
I bet you'd feel really guilty going to work and casually blowing up foreigners from thousands of miles away. Its a blessing that you didnt end up doing it
I'm literally the only person who I'm cool with the word incel for. You right
Fuck man, thats harsh... Just curious if you don't mind telling, whats your weight and height?
Another excellent point. Imagine seeing casualty news stories about kids wondering if it was YOUR shot
Agree with this user.
A sex surrogate is a good idea.
Nothing shameful about it.
Hopefully one of your friends can help set it up.
Don't feel bad dude. It's all I've ever known so far, so it doesn't bother me as much as people think it should.
44lbs and just over 3 feet
Have you tried keto?
...
Anyone is an alpha individual when they take testosterone. It is why testosterone and its analogs are one of the worlds most trafficked semi-illicit drugs.
There's only one sex therapist here and they specifically say no sexual acts. Is this something different?
No I'm a picky motherfucker. Worth it?
What are some things you do for fun, hobby wise?
What does your day to day look like, when it comes to your routine I guess. Interesting thread, I never post, but you've piqued my curiosity. Stay positive dude, sounds like you've got a pretty good attitude towards life in general.
I should rephrase. It's called Spinraza. Shit is $125,000 PER SHOT AND I'VE HAD 4. But it sends your protein into overdrive
Yes, sex surrogates are not sex therapist. Sex surrogates are professionals who will assist people, with sexual relief. You can also look into medically assisted sex.
>Spinraza
How do you feel when patients in anywhere but USA get the medication essentially for free?
I just had a quick look and I only see one person advertising as a surrogate in Omaha.
You might search for tantric provider, which I saw more results from.
Either way, the key is to message and talk with the person beforehand and vibe them out to see if they seem cool.
Then when the time comes, have a friend bring you to a decent hotel and handle the money part.
Props to you for that pic. Used to be a lot of vidya. Now comedy and working on a non-profit organization for transportation for cripples.
Day to day life, unless I have commitments I essentially do whatever. Sit on my bed watching YouTube and whatnot. I actually signed an NDA to test the Microsoft disability controller and that was so fucking cool. Appreciate the kind words :).
If anyone wants to stay in touch I really don't care about anonymity. Colonelwheel on my social media sites
It really put it into perspective when I realized you're half my height but only a fifth my weight, thats some crazy shit. Wish you all the best
Wanna second what this user said.
Yea Forums is crammed to the gills with whiny, entitled crybabies but OP seems like a scholar and a gentleman.
I don't know how my insurance paid for this shit but they fully covered it. My sister isn't disabled and can't afford to see a therapist and that shit really bothers me
Cripplechan also has this condition right?
I really really appreciate the info. Absolutely one hundred percent gonna look into it
>can't afford to see a therapist
Microdosing LSD is way cheaper and more effective. Does require some ability to introspect and self-question to really work, though, but once it works, it's like having a therapist with you 24/7
BINGO
No clue. The only other person I know OF is Shane burcaw from YouTube
Are you capable of shaving? not having a go, just genuinely curious because I don't know much about the condition.
She's only nearing 19, and although I've done lsd and shrooms, I feel like she should be a bit older before considering that. Or is it still viable?
>Nusinersen was developed in a collaboration between Adrian Krainer at Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory and Ionis Pharmaceuticals (formerly called Isis Pharmaceuticals)
>formerly called Isis Pharmaceuticals
lol
How have we not seen a single timestamp from this obvious troll? Come on you fucking goofball figure it out. Dip your typing index finger in ink or something FFS
Actually, about 8 months ago my strength hit the point where I couldn't reach my hand to my face anymore. Started Spinraza in May and now I can use a goddamn electric shaver again
>Started Spinraza
what is that?
And glad you have more mobility again, I hope you can still lead a fulfilling life OP, you seem like a swell fella.
I look like a troll yeah but I'm seriously that crippled man. You can scour my reddit and Twitter and I'll happily post proof tomorrow but I'm not gonna be a dickhead and wake my dad up just to hold a piece of paper. If you have any other ideas I'm game
Post dick soft and hard
Stops the muscle deterioration and in the best case scenarios, people can actually gain muscles :)
Fuck it fellas. Why bitch about the stuff you can't change yknow
Ik you already talked about masturbation but seriously dude how? Like, without hands? Your spine sends signals to the prostate which enlarges and basically pressures semenal vesicles into release but you learned how to do that shit magically?
Do you Come to Yea Forums to fap?
A few of tips for ya when you do get a surrogate or a provider or an escort:
Make sure you're squeaky clean, mouthwash included.
Book an hour so you don't feel rushed before or after.
Take your time looking through ads online and don't be in too much of a hurry to pick someone.
I laughed my ass off when it happened dude. How fucking unfortunate. Pretty sure they just renamed someone in DC comics from isis too
Awesome, I hope that is the case for you dude. Gave you a follow on Twitter aswell.
Fuck you lmao. Porn is obviously pretty pointless for me but I still watched it for a while. Until I learned my favorite's real name is also my mom's. Who the fuck names their child mindy
Whatever man who the fuck names their mom Mindy?
Good looking out. Absolutely will. Gotta get that Multiple Shots package or it'll be an expensive 7 seconds
What do you mean cpr for six minutes like mouth to mouth resuscitation? Why would we need proof? Also is that you? Kekked at the cyberpowerpc rig
Liz Vicious' kid. My sister is also apparently an asshole.
Gotta pass the hat around to get OPs dick sucked.
Do you fuck?
Have you never cummed ever? Dude..
Chuckled
Why the long hair? I don't often see disabled dudes with long hair.
Like my heart stopped in the hospital and my throat was so small that they couldn't intubate. Chest compressions. I offered proof because it's goddamned insane that I'm actually alive so I took pictures of my metabolic panels from the hospital.
Yep. Me. And I would never complain about a free computer. Check out Ablegamers. Fucking amazing nonprofit organization who hooked me up
what do you think of god? You can get long on this one..
GOTTA GET PAID TO GET LAID
Only in my sleep. Benadryl gives me the craziest fucking dreams
The picture is about 8 months old and I have no fucking idea what I was thinking. It's pretty damn short right now
OBVIOUS LIES.
I seriously doubt you're that needy specialist in the photo. You cant be bothered to show any other evidence that you're real? Fuck off troll in retard clothing.
You follow Yung Cripp?
Metabolic panels? Motherfucker show me your blood gases, CBC's, and lytes
Calling you out faggot. Medfag here. What was your goddamn bicarb you lying sack of shit?
Nah he's legit man, leave him alone. His twitter is here and you can see it's him. Plus he has gone into a hell of alot of detail.
Hey bud. I don’t have much to say to you but I have my own very specific physical problems and was adopted out of Nebraska’s children’s home. Keep it up, good luck and go big fucking red.
ah sick, well it looks okay anyway!
If this is a cop out, so be it I suppose. God to me is whatever the fuck is strong enough to create the universe. My God could be science flat out. But if there's a sentient God, fuck that cunt. I've made amends with this condition but not all of the other horrible shit happening daily
>OBVIOUS LIES.
It's not really that obvious.
Okay fag. Give me 5 minutes tops. I really don't give a shit about my name not being redacted so hold up
So just regular lies?
He's fucking hilarious. Fun fact. He has SMA too
...
Its nothing like ALS.
Type 2 I assume? How many protective copies do you have?
Here ya go. Here's Mrs. Nebraska 2014 AND 2015 too. A very rich dude bought me a wheelchair van a while back and legit brought these girls because he could. Such a dope fucking dude
Link to your stand up (or sit down) comedy please. Are you on the YouTube?
BIPAP all the time? have you ever tried a negative pressure vent instead?
I get depressed and suicidal about my situation in life, yet you hold your ground. I appreciate your alphaness bro. If I was in bumblefuck Nebraska or wherever you're from, I'd jerk your dick, no homo
Nice one!
Genetically yes, very different. Real world practicality is very similar. Bingo. Thankfully 3 copies
Lol I see the t-piece why were they giving you nebs?
Besides the point you were intubated for cardiac reasons
Bro I hope you don't pass medical school or whatever the fuck, because you sound like a damn dumbo
3 copies-you are fortunate.
Too bad you don't qualify for Zolgensma. Shit works great.
What's your degree in fucktard?
>fake medfag gets btfo and leaves thread
Wouldn't goodness, comfort, and virtue cease to exist without the contrast of their opposites? Would you rather exist in a featureless grey void? Maybe we simply don't understand all that there is to understand about our world or existence yet. At any rate I was pleasantly surprised by this thread. I am not a robot.
LMAO. I was fucking wasted that night. Can't believe I convinced our waiter to put it on too. I currently only have one "roast battle" up, but I'm working on getting more up.
Imo my opponent won. Gained a lot of respect for him after this shit because it's hilarious and he didn't hold back like a pussy
Ahahahaha I knew there were more
Here comes the moron with a major in scrolling the internet and a minor in living in his mom's house to "help her out"
Just remember dude. My problems will never make yours go away and vice versa. We all have a shitty hand in some way. Glad you're here.
This.
Go to Council Bluffs with a $20 over by Harrahs.
I like this dude
you other fags need to stop being such pussies
Holy shit... I've seen dude's videos before. I have a cousin with cerebral palsy who has shared them on his Facebook before. So, it's weird happening across this thread.
Thanks bro, you're right
I actually wasn't even intubated. Bipap. Apparently I need it when I'm healthy too. But yeah. They always do neb treatments just in case
You’re pretty fuckin funny OP. More power to you for not being a bitch like most of the world.
Whoa that’s crazy man that sucks glad you at least have a sense of humor
So this is you on the left Tyler?
We should all hit the casino some time.
I honestly never thought Yea Forums was capable of being so fucking chill.
You look a hell of a lot different than the OP photo.
I don't make videos unfortunately. I do look like Ricky Berwick though. Goddamn little gremlin is making bank and I approve
Why no shoes?
You're a fucking liar and a scumbag. Exploiting disabilities for fun.
Welcome to Yea Forums
Nah that fella is my dad holding the mic. I didn't want to be the asshole to ask people to lift a 300lb chair on stage
That's not you
It's late night Yea Forums where we're all a little mellowed out and fatigued from posting on the latest rekt threads and such. Come to Atlantic City boiii.
Unnecessary expense and my toes curl so they kinda hurt. But I plan on getting some
Read
I love you enough for both of your parents
>I don't make videos unfortunately. I do look like Ricky Berwick though. Goddamn little gremlin is making bank and I approve
I'm just glad you're both not black, because then I would have set myself up for the ancient "oh, all niggers look the same?" routine. Regardless of whether or not I look ignorant for mixing you two up, since I haven't went to your socials and don't know who the other dude is, props to you both. There are able-bodied fucks that sit around all day wasting their lives while motherfuckers like you make the best of yours. Among the sea of shit here, it deserves recognition.
I would be so fucking down. I love traveling. Only ever been to Florida courtesy of the aforementioned rich dude. Beach house with 7 rooms. St Augustine. It's still hard to comprehend people like him exist
I'm sorry Tyler. I was an asshole. Keep doing stand up bro. To start up a YouTube channel for comedy with a roast battle that you thought you lost is not only ballsy but completely bad ass. I think its fucking crazy and I love it. My best wishes to you and honestly God bless. I love you buddy, sorry for giving you shit earlier its just the nature of Yea Forums
hey whos the crackwhore, any nudes? also she might be available to empty your balls broseph
Super appreciate that man. And no worries. Cripples come in 3 styles. Twigs, morbidly obese, and "that person definitely looks like they can walk
KEK the first thing that passed my mind too
TOP KEK
AHAHAHAHAHA
Did I just get an apology from user?! Holy fuck. Don't sweat it. In your defense, it is a pretty ridiculous situation which seems mighty convenient with proof excuses
Alright... Real life moment here... I check this shithole out in between repos and when I'm smoking after work. This comment has beaten the shit out of the last few ylyl threads I've seen.
Too bad I'm poor as fuck, otherwise I'd fly you out homie. If you can get out here though we'd definitely roll some dice and throw pennies at a few strippers
Pretty good friend who is engaged. Her sister though? Ho. Ly. Fuck. Incredibly hot but she made up with her baby daddy before I could tap that ass into orbit
Same user and yes an apology was due. As much fun as it is being an asshole to people behind a computer it's much less fun when its directed at a genuine person not hiding anything with no fear of repercussions.
Self bump with pictures of my wife's pussy. It's all I have to offer
Hit me up on any of my social media to stay in touch. Ya never know. Jubilee released a youtube video and only 6 people out of thousands were chosen. Somehow I got the confirmation...but the cheap fucks wouldn't pay for travel to LA so I couldn't do it
It's all good. Promise. Yea Forums is obviously Yea Forumsso I knew what to expect for sure
Handicap flights are so expensive
Good lol there, I needed that. Thanks user
>pinal Muscular Atrophy
True, never know. though, can't find your insta
Oh that's nothing. I went on a podcast recently. Start it around the 32 minute mark to hear more of my retardation. I had a blast
I'm in Tacoma. Not far away. Lol I didn't know there were so many people from this area here
It was just a regular flight :/ I can sit in a regular seat most of the time despite the boomerang spine
Nebraska - not Washington.
Dang man that's fucked. I'm sorry to hear you can't at the very least b8. I have heard of people using meditation and shit to shoot a load. Might be worth a look. You probably have the time to master the art of it. No offense
My bad. I rarely use it since I suck dick at pictures but here ya go
I've seen videos of this kind of shit. Blows my mind. They weren't hands free cumming but with prostate milking, they were actual hands free cumming. Pretty nuts but interesting. OP, you should look into mastering the art of this
OP they make an app that makes your phone vibrate non stop. It's supposed to be a vibrator app. Use that and put it on your dick. It should do the trick
Can't even lift my phone my man, otherwise I could have taken a timestamp photo
I tried an Isabella Valentine ASMR specifically for this one. Might be worth another shot
I though the same shit too. She looks rough but like she has some good fuckins left in her. Like one of those disposable cell phone battery chargers you throw away when it's depleted
Again, engaged. But she's a very open and honest friend. I envy her sex life. Chick is a ten outta ten freak in the sheets
I just sent you a message on your Instagram, since I have an account there to track down debtors for work.
That's ricky berwick dumbass
Just followed you.
I’m the 27,000 follower user.
I’ll throw you some shout outs & reposts if / when you get some media posted up bro.
Keep up the great attitude, I absolutely envy and admire it.
Meant I just followed you on Instagram*
I quoted the wrong post. It’s late and I’m exhausted.
Dam that's rough man. I'm sorry to hear that. I watched your comedy video though. You have talent bro. I admire and am blown away how people with disabilities like yours can have such a strong mind and keep so positive and be upbeat. So many people who have perfectly functional bodies have broken or weak minds and have such a piss poor attitude about life in general. Keep it up bro! I'm sure many handicap people strive to be normal like everyone else but in reality it's people like your self that end up inspiring normal people. Pretty nuts isn't it? Keep doing what you're doing!
I tried to have an orgasm by just thinking about it before...you're a man and it worked for you? :O
Dang she sounds like a good time. Hopefully not nutty out of the bedroom though. Haha
Shit, I didn't know Nebraska had a Bellevue. Yours is probably way nicer than ours. Lol
That's just a podcast that I'm featured on. On Twitter or Instagram? I really appreciate it. I'll need all of the help I can get soon
Lmao same here. Thank you :)
yo op you seem real chill with the shit hand life dealt ya
hope to see your stuff on tv someday
Wow. You're kinda making a full blown cunt of yourself there user. Mommy send you to school without your morning kiss or something?
I really do appreciate that but definitely keep in mind that everyone deals with crazy shit. I'm glad I inspire, but never let it be just because I don't roll over.
He apologized. It's all good
Hey. It just be like that sometimes. I'd fucking love a pitch meeting with Netflix
And there goes the shit stain that lacks the moral fibre to admit his mistakes and apologise for making a cunt of himself in the first decent thread on this shitty site in weeks. I suspect you're currently stamping your feet and holding your breath, you fucking child.
Poor bastard.
You lost the genetic lottery for sure.
The medical system is failing us as a species by letting these genes survive..
The gene pool will eventually get so dirty with random mutations, it will be the norm for people and kids to suffer from conditions such as this.
Good luck my dude....
I don’t give money to amerifucks, but I wish you well.
Well shit guys. I'm pretty tired but this was a blast and I can't be sure that I'll get another cool as fuck audience. So! I'm gonna need a lot of help with social media pushes soon.
If you're down to help, talk business, help me out with podcast, comedy, YouTuber, etc connections, meet up or just shoot the shit, hit me up for sure.
Gotta get my dumbass to sleep, but this was legitimately fun as fuck because I never expected this tame and chill thread. Take it easy and never skip leg day
Ending was perfect
This thread is proof there are good people on Yea Forums.