Discuss your donuts

My life fell apart and I got laid off from a good job. Took a job at fkn walmart just to keep the electricity on. Broke af and went to the break room. Day old stale chocolate covered donuts everywhere. Yeah I ate the fuck out of them. That chocolate is actually good and I was hungry fuck you.

Nah, lol, not a killer. Just having some fun with my niece.

Walmart fag again. Once they said shit about not wanting people to open carry in the stores, we had about 10 people walking around doing it today. Normally its 3-4 a week. idgaf I'm white I like them there

this user is correct. hopefully you use it on yourself instead of someone else.

>My life fell apart and I got laid

Hey, so it's not all bad, right?

So true Yea Forumstard. At least I got laid.

My friend's phone and POF profile both use the same PW, so I've been posting her lewds/nudes through her old POF catfishing dudes.

This annoying guy comes into the coffee shop sometimes and always orders decaf. He's excessively insistent on it. Actually spills his medical junk on us, says he can't drink caffeine because he has epilepsy and doesn't want to trigger a seizure. It's like he's unaware decaf has caffeine in me. Anyway, it annoys me and to teach him a lesson, I sometimes give him half-caf. I've been increasing the dosage, until one time I went all out and snuck some five hour energy in. He actually had a seizure. It might be my fault but can't really be traced to me.

what the fucking shit
this is fucking hilairous holy fuck

My gf recently told me that apparently her coworker hasn't had any dick in a year and she's looking for a boyfriend for the sake of the D. It was brought up pretty casually and I don't think she meant anything by it but I've been thinking. My gf, who had only been with girls before me, has brought up threesomes before and if I position it right I could probably watch them fuck before fucking them both.

Just not sure how to broach the subject with her without her getting pissed at me.

user... I have good news for you...

I donut want to.

Sounds like a tricky, potentially beneficial situation. I've been there myself. My girlfriend had only ever dated girls before me, but I guess she found me so attractive (I'm really good in bed too, which helps), that she stepped across the aisle. She's been dropping major hints that some of her bisexual friends could use a good dicking. I might have to take her up on that, ha ha. Her friends are really hot. They have super big boobs which they let me squeeze while they tell me how much they want to have sex with me. I also have a really long wiener.

Got my wifes friend drunk enough to convince her to model for me, ended up seeing everyting.
Fap material for life secured.

wickr: bigboot99 if interested

You have a wife, and you're celebrating seeing a naked woman you can now fap to?

yeah, its hot seeing somone you know nude imo

Do you ever have sex with your wife though?

ofc

So what are you wasting your time looking at her naked friend for?! You have a wife! Why aren't you squeezing her boobs and butts and ass and pounding her till next Tuesday?! You're bragging about taking photos of a woman when you could literally be touching one?!

It does seem a waste, user, to be in a committed romantic union with a woman, and all the carnal bliss that implies, only to throw it all away for some quick drunken fappery. I know that if I had a wife, I would give her the attention and respect she deserves. I would cater to HER needs FIRST and never look at other women, least of all her friends, and never pull a stunt like that. I wouldn't even need to get with her sexually on a regular occasion. Intercourse, would be nice, don't get me wrong, but just to wake up in bed with her, smelling her essence, holding her warm body close to mine in a cove of perfect intimacy, love, and trust...that's got to be better than masturbating to her friend's pics.

it gets boring

Lmfao saddest shit ive ever read. Get help man

I dont know who those two naive faggots are who are telling you, you are wrong for getting those hot nude pics. But i can garuntee they are either dumb ass women pretending to be dudes and or never been in a serious relationship longer than 2 years. Fucking clueless idiots thinking they know how complex a marriage is especially to bipolar women lmaoo.

You did the right thing user but next time fuck the friend and fuck more if you can. You are the man in my book.

thanks man... been with her for many years, so its time to look at some fresh pussy

lolwut

Same been with my girl for 10. Married for 3. I cheat when i can usually one night stands

my gf broke up with me and all i can jerk to is imaging her getting railed. not proud

I'd wind up wanting to fuck raw and wouldn't pull out. 3 and 4 some are sexy as fuck. My gf would have to be OK with sharing my seed cause I'd probably get the primal urge to impregnate them all.

i think its healthy

Obviously you either didn't read my post or don't know what the word "faggot" means, as I am extolling a woman's beauty and talking about what I would do with her, not doing anything remotely homosexual.

He may want a circle jerk to tell him "Right on! Take nude pics of another woman! Cheat on your lovely wife who committed to you for life!" but that's not what I'm given him. I'm here to drop some hard truths.

You don't deserve her. That delicate woman gave herself to you in every way there is (you said that you have sex with her), and you pay her back by lusting after her friend. It's shameful. If she were my wife, I would cherish her. I would listen to her. I would appreciate her body when she lets me and respect her choices when that's not what she's into. You said "it gets old", but is that really a comment on the marriage or your own moral turpitude. I don't know man, it just seems sad for a man who has Aphrodite in his bed to go spying on Hera.

This is some weird trolling.

yeah, he is a summerfag that didnt notice summer is over

You're right man, I don't deserve her. I think that's why I try taking photos of other women. It's sort of this inadequacy I feel, that I still can't believe this woman choose to spend her life with me. It's easier to jack off to a photo that accept that love.

I get really turned on a thought of cumming inside a girl and possibly getting her pregnant. Most girls will even say it when their horny enough. Most I get drunk along with me so it's easier to get them to go along. There are many girls I've fucked (friends even with each other) and we'll hang out after a fling 2 days before. Even they don't remember it just feels so good in the moment. I've had girls hanging out with my cum still inside them and they would know. It's very alpha to feel the urge to nut and seed as many beautiful girls as possible.

Or ,just a hindi faggot pissed off becuz his pp small

I used to suck dick for weed.
Now I do for free cause weed was ruining my life.
Guess I’ll always look for a new addiction...

When my best friend and I were younger we experimented with each other for our first gay experience, and sucked each other’s dick. He said I have real good head, and kept pulling my hair and moaning. It was very eh to have my dick sucked by him though
But now we’re both in relationships, and don’t see each other that often. But every now and then I’ll message him hoping he replies, because I have a faint hope that he’ll drink too much bourbon, and I’ll be able to convince him to let me suck his dick, and maybe even get him to fuck me. I’m curious what it’s like, and I’d rather him than a stranger offline. But I doubt it’ll ever happen. Unless he sees this, in which case respond to my messages you coward

>Legit post

Yeah, it's crazy how many girls have that impregnation fetish. I nut in so many it's amazing that I haven't knocked them up already, but they just love it rawdog. A lot of the girls I hang out with have super big boobs which they let me squeeze while they tell me how much they want me to cum inside them. I also have a really long wiener.

I went to a friend's wedding reception at his father's house. Really big place with a pool and everything. I ate too much and had to take a massive crap. I wanted to go the bathroom, but his grandmother, who is like 90 years old, was sitting in a chair right by it for the whole night. I couldn't go upstairs to one of the other bathrooms either. I knew my spray (I could feel it was going to be liquid) was going to be loud and rank, and even if it wouldn't the woman likes to drag us into rambling conversations. So instead of going to that bathroom, I snuck into the bushes and took a dump behind the pool shack.

My sister was getting married and her maid of honor had an emergency. She knew about how I used to crossdress and asked me to fill in as the maid of honor. She even paid for the full makeover.

I have 3 weiners so it's not even full sex without at least two chicks. Two of the weiners are close enough together to DP one chick and thankfully the other is off to the side so it can get blown without a lot of gymnastics.

> catfished my older sister about a year ago and have an onagain/offagain sexting relationship
> found her on okcupid randomly (small town, looking for ppl nearby)
> hit her up using a fake profile with pics of a guy I met abroad, used him because everyone said we looked a lot like each other (I couldnt see it that much, but flippin everyone on the program kept saying it)
> start messaging pretty regularly back and forth, i know what she likes already lol and how to push her buttons
> move to kik and she starts getting more adventurous
> get her to tell me all sorts of stories and send me pics
> have a pretty good library of my sis's nudes, clips of her masturbating, and screenshots of particularly hot exchanges
> use pics of the dude for full face shots, but use my own body for anything chin and lower. I've jerked off for her, written her name on my dick, lol
> she says my cock is perfect ;)
> we keep it very casual, but she will hit me up once every few weeks for a chat
> I make her feel good about herself, she makes me feel good about myself, victimless crime
> been thinking about way to make it happen in person, but need to be really careful so havn't gone past the dream/plan stage

Nothing says Alpha like paying child support.

You are a white knight my friend and you will be cheated on by every slut you date abd marry. I will reinstate that you are a faggot. You will give your love your all and this innocent beautiful girl you speak of will blow and give anal to a chad while talking about how boring her sweet little husband(you) are. Heed my words this is the reality we live in. This is the fenale animal we are dealing with thus is thier traits and they will breaj you into peices. Even the virgin ones who you are putting on a pedestal.

She has to know its you unless shes retarded. Are you both good looking or both hideous disgusting basement dwelling incels?

And you think this is a healthier way to view women? It's so cynical and gross. You assume the worst about women. And me. I'm not putting virgins on a pedestal (her previous sexual history doesn't matter to me), just that you should honor your wedding vows and treat women with respect.

808808008

i fucking love acid, i originally bought some to sell to the white kids i go to school with but after researching on micro dosing i don’t care about making the money back. This shit makes me feel good about myself and help get over my insecurities about myself, obviously i still have times where i feel bad about myself or something but it’s rare and leaves after an hour so i’m not all that concerned. I don’t care what it’ll do to my brain it feels good to be confident about who i am again and to have an optimistic outlook on life.

I'm in charge of snacks at my glee club's morning meetings. They give me money from the coffers to get donuts from Dunkin Donuts. I just get a Dunkin Donuts box from the trash, buy cheaper donuts from the grocery store, and pocket the profits.

This.

I know how that goes. I do a lot of drugs myself and they make me feel amazing about my life. I don't care about the money, because it just opens my world. Marijuana especially, but also the acid you mentioned and some poppers too. Just wipes away insecurity. Sometimes I do drugs with girls who have super big boobs which they let me squeeze while they compliment how optimistic I am. I also have ba really long consciousness.

Found the faggot

Found another guy who doesn't know what that word means.

I wonder, user, do you really find trading insults and misogyny with strangers online more fulfilling than a faithful relationship with a woman? You can tell me.

Obviously the word holds no merit and is simply used as an insult. Kind of like the word nig. Regardless, you are right on paper in what you say about user and how he should feel about his wife. But the fact of the matter is that he has a wife. He has to deal with her. What if everyday that he wakes up next to her is actually a hassle because her feet stink? Idk. The point is that you’re non user, you’re probably not married, and start living life off paper because not everything is as simple as it seems.

It's right to virtually cheat on her...if her feet stink?

Sometimes I bump threads

Fucking lame white knight shit

Loser.

He's not a loser. If anything, he's the one here dropping major redpills about morality and marriage. Props, user.

Everyone wants what they can’t have....

That must be why I want Shelley Duvall so bad.

this, and every guy that has been maried for several years know the feeling

So naturally, you'd be okay if your wife cheated.

ofc not, but i understand the urge to

Would you be okay if she got your best friend drunk, took naked pictures of him, and masturbated to them?

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Maybe I'm a white knight, faggot, and "summerfag", but I'm also a noob, and I don't know what that last one means or why that negates my point.

all you need to know is that all 3 of those on their own, are reasons why you dont belong here. Now go back to r3ddit.

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Nah, Reddit's too restrictive. I'm more down with Yea Forums. Surprised to see all this support for cuckolding though.

that and the faggot shit is pretty new... if you wanna stay here start trying to fit in, and stop white knighting.

I habitually share nudes of my exgf because I get off on seeing her reposted and spread around.

Kik me at frankright13 if you want to expose her tits too

Lucky motherfucker

damn, thats what i call a supporting family

I let my two dogs fuck my ass almost every night when Im alone at home or can sneak out to the backyard. A white one and a black one. If I let the white one first fuck me, the black one goes in harder than usual like hes trying to one up the white one but then when hes done the white one will have another go. Feelsgood

Only had a taste of this when my niece wanted me to be her "big sister" and dressed me up in her mom's (my sister) clothes. It was hot and hard to hide my boner cause I was heavy into crossdressing at the time

I don't know why but as a bi guy this my turns me on if you're a girl.

haven't laughed in some time, thanks man

> be me, 19
> a few weeks ago
> have a few drinks with a girl at her place
> get along really well, she's 27 though so no real sexual implications
> she lets me stay over, couldn't really get home that late and drunk
> in bed she says she has a stiff neck, I offer to give her a massage
> diamonds.gif
> I'm pretty sure she felt me getting hard, doesn't mention it
> after a while we get to sleep, I'm honey though so I start feeling up her tits
> pierced.exe
> play with her for a while, have a raging boner now that presses against her butt
> turns out she was awake the whole time, we make out and she's getting really horny
> best sex I've ever had, could feel her legs shivering and pussy tighten every time she came

Not a girl

Bifag here, I'd love to fuck my gf's super cute nephew, or anything I could get.

Closet crossdresser here. One night I was hanging with fam and drinking around the fire. We were talking about random shit and as usual, the convo went sexual. We were talking about trans nd crossdressing and gay shit. I said at some point that I wouldnt mind dressibg in awsome womans clothes cause they have better clothes than guys.
My uncle decided thats a time to ask if I would dress up if someone bought me clothes. Shrugged it off and laughed. Day after he started sending me txts abt it and sking if I would dress for him.
I actually said yes just trying to score clothes. Gave my sizes and shit... Next day a box was delivered to my place full of sexy lingerie and girly stuff. He txt me asking if I got it and to send him some pics.
There started a fucked up relationship of him buying me whatever I want in exchange for some lewd pics

so... do you have the pics still?

>> get along really well, she's 27 though so no real sexual implications
dumbass

Spent the past 3 years in a relationship with my girlfriend and her sister. Been with my girlfriend longer. (7 years)

We have had the occasional threesome but while i thought it was a one time thing she ended up living with us. We have 3 full time incomes in one household. Dont know if I've hit the jackpot or the bubbles gonna burst.

The secret is I kinda wanted to marry my first girlfriend but now I dont know if that will wreck this dynamic with my second girlfriend

Not many but I did keep a few. Im not what I would call sexy but I liked a few and kept em

I often jack off to the thought of my mom being used by friends and strangers as a cum and piss slut.

dog!
do you always fuck them together or one on one?

Yep, these digits should get across how serious I am

I miss the Andy Sixx threads on /b

I jerked off multiple times into my gfs little sister's hair conditioner. Head of the bottle was huge enough to let me bottle fuck it and drop my loads into it. I visited her a month later and she was telling me about how bad her hair smells after a few days. She went to work so I dropped some more fresh baby gravy into the same bottle before I left.

I'm cheating on my girlfriend with my married boss who I duck at work everytime we close the store together for the last 6 weeks. My cousin who is significantly younger than me who I've been secretly fucking for almost 2 years and my uncles ex wife who I nailed 3 times in the last week since I ran into her at the bar last Thursday night.
Meanwhile I have to keep our sex life active and I don't even want her anymore, I need her though.

Not always together. Usually in the same room but it depends on the mood. Maybe 2/3rds of the time is solo but I do fuck them both a few times a week

When I used to sell pot in high school one of the hot underclassmen used to beg me for rides home everyday (basically so I would smoke her up) and we would go back to her place. When I say this girl was thicc I mean she had a PHAT ass and that was the main goal. Would always slap it in the halls or grab it walking back to the car. Anyway I started to make her do wild shit cause I wasnt gonna smoke her up for nothing. First she would go into grocery stores steal food like hot pockets or some shit and come back and cook the food for me. After awhile she started to realize pizza rolls werent my interest and that quickly escalated into at least getting top from her. After a few weeks of her guzzling my cum in exchange for smoking a blunt of shitty street weed I kept progressively trying to l take it to fucking her. Couple weeks later were in here room 69ing, im eating her ass and go for that seift move where you basically lift them up and shift their hips down to you. I start teasing her and slapping my dick on her pussy to which she finally tells me shes a virgin and that she wants to keep her virginity. Again I used to always play with her ass, so I stick my thumb in her ass and say 'well technically this hole wouldnt be losing your virginity' she thought about it for a few seconds and said that it was technically true. Ended up getting teen asshole my entire senior year for literally 10 dollars worth of weed a day. Eventually she missed so much school that she failed all her classes by 3rd quarter and she dropped out. I bought her a buttplug and would make her wear it places. My favorite was honestly when she would wear it at home with all out friends and her little brother lol. Shit was cash.

I jerk off in the work bathrooms almost every morning to start my day. Once I was going at it and my gay co worker decided to peek over the wall. He saw me jerking off and jokingly asked if he can get in on that. A few words were exchanged and it ended with him sucking my load outvin the stall. Been wanting to do it again but hes been avoiding me

I should finish this by saying I pretty much completely ruined this girls life because she never graduated high school because or my poor influence. If I just reject her rides home maybe she passes. Her last boyfriend is in federal prison and turned her in a literal not figurative crackhead.

I am getting fucked by my wife's best friend's husband on a regular basis. I made both of my kids with her, while my ass was full of his cum.

>ropping major hints that some of her bisexual friends could use a good dicking
Just tell her there's dick for everyone, she should bring them along if she thinks that would be fun. Just make it sound like a joke.

I should clarify as well we all share the same bed. Three in a bed isnt that bad when you get used to it and the beds big enough. We do have a double in the gues room but I prefer my bed. But its not me sandwiched between two chics, I sleep on the end and in reality 2 women can hog a surprising amount of space even in a huge bed.

Besides our house is big enough if we need space we can be apart or we can all hang out together. We do get along really well with each other

Somebody has to tell you, these are the good old days. Someday you will miss them

Shit my sisters boyfriend got interested in me while we were all camping one weekend. He knew I was bi and came onto me in my tent one night while she was passed out. Sucked him off in the tent th first night. Next night he fucked my raw. After that I would visit them every other weekend to "visit my niece" but get railed while she was at work.

My girl's teen sister is very clingey towards me and I love it. It's that pure teen love fuelled by hormones. She loves nothing more than me putting my arm around her as we're at their home watching a movie or something. Her face turns bright red, she doesn't stop smiling and my girlfriend just thinks it's cute how I'm so good with her.

always the same fucking picture

oegh. .:D
perhaps it
> sieved
through, though?

y do you think that is

Blessed number with a cursed post

It's called post nut clarity.

I get off sharing pics and videos of my buddy's stuck up bitch milf ex. Dumb bitch would be so fucking ashamed and embarrassed that people know exactly what she looks like naked and with a cock in her mouth and cunt and taking loads to her face

I will miss them yea. The sex and variety. But they are both good people. Still think its a stroke of luck. The lesbianism incest part was more fun at the start. Had to join a gym just to work on my stamina trying to keep two people happy.

The part I enjoy most is their parents. Their dad hates me and I know he'd hate me more if he found out I had fucked both his girls but their mum loves me for looking after her "little petals"

If there is a way for me to marry one or have kids with one or both id be happier but I cant keep this three way relationship going forever

I rubbed my bare dick on a girls back once and pretended it was a friendly stroke with my hand.

No, cause I don't fuckin eat donuts!

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>What kind of dog is it? A black one and a white one.
You must be a girl.

imig.es/c/v4KtTD5
Here's a few videos of this milf bitch getting fucked and taking loads to her face
Let me know what you think and if you want more added

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I fucked Gimpy's mom.

I jerk off to the thought of watching another man fuck my wife and I'm sure she'd be up to it but I'm afraid I'll cum in like 15 seconds and regret it.

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>I jerk off to the thought of watching another man fuck my wife and I'm sure she'd be up to it
I can do that for you bruv.
>but I'm afraid I'll cum in like 15 seconds and regret it.
Not if I cum sooner. :^)

not gonna lie I've always wanted to slide inside my wife while she has another man's cum inside

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Years ago I stole some pictures of my neighbor's daughter off a digital camera.

Wickr is EducatedOak9 if want face or story.

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I'm sunnymanner on kik if anyone wants more of this upscale bitch

I've had sex with 20+ girls and by far the best was only 11yo

grntxt!

I love this hero's journey

That faggot shit has been here for years.

i think it has exploded in that last half year

>> get her to tell me all sorts of stories and send me pics
>> have a pretty good library of my sis's nudes, clips of her masturbating, and screenshots of particularly hot exchanges
>> use pics of the dude for full face shots, but use my own body for anything chin and lower. I've jerked off for her, written her name on my dick, lol
>> she says my cock is perfect ;)
>> we keep it very casual, but she will hit me up once every few weeks for a chat
>> I make her feel good about herself, she makes me feel good about myself, victimless crime
:D
' HAHAH '

So I recently gave a guy a blowjob.
He wasn't hard all the way through so he probably wasn't into it, and it was my first time so I probably was not very good at it, but it happened and now I feel like a part of me is happy that it happened because I've been dreading this question for a long time. Also he kept gagging me which was annoying

post more of her

>Everyone wants what they can’t have....
try deepthroating next time, lil' bubber :D
< bobber
'boober' D:

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.

\1. say your name ten times. 2.say your mom's name five times. 3. say your crushes three times 4. paste this to four other groups. If you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.

But if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck.

SEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

Well my gag reflex apparently sucks

I’m feeling itchy today.
-V

Tell us all about it

you stop being a lesbian/asex and finally get stuffed wth some cock

After my mom and dad got divorced, I lived with my dad and he convinced me to start sucking him off.

Those are changed after every flight so no worries

And???

I suck toes, men, women, children. Pref if they are sleeping. I tend to masterbate when i have said toes in mouth

When I was thirteen I let my sister suck my cock until I came in her mouth and she spit it out not knowing what she was doing it what happened. Came through her nose.

I have a thing for young, sporty, cocky boys. I don't know if I would say know if one flirted with me.

> know
> now
> ow
> w. _w

Jesus, did I really do that? Must be tired.

I'm a zoophile with a bird shit fetish, or at least, I WANT to be a zoophile, because birds are just so beautiful and their body's are superior to the human body in so many ways.

When I jack off, I fantasize/imagine in my head a 3 foot long(about the size of a golden/harpy eagle), fully sapient red tailed hawk taking a massive shit and piss on some guys dick, which is used to lubricate his dick while he's fucking her.

But sometimes, unfortunately, I end up jacking it to a human, and I end up fucking hating myself.

dog cock > bird puss

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nah I'd prefer the cloaca (bird puss)

Kek

I have black freinds but they would be horrified how much shit I talk about niggers on the chans. Especially when it's nigger hate threads. I fucking hate niggers. But my black friends are homies.

No. It's too shameful. Admitting to dirty pedo thoughts? That I might recover from, but the shame of using the wrong "no" ? Unforgivable.

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And what good news is that?

>Came through her nose.
I hate when that happens, it always makes me gag.

how young :P
asking
"for a frand"
boy pictured
is probz 23 nao

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Uh, pretty young. Definitely at least teens though.

He's cute.

When I was 14 I drank about 1 litre of supermarket own brand vodka in the space of about 5 minutes. Fell in a neighbours thorn bushes, asked my female friend for sex whilst I couldnt stand up, woke up missing an eyebrow, with a bin on my head, and discovered i shit myself as well. Never did it again.

When I was very young, cant remember exactly but I was very young. Playing doctors with my male friend, I pulled his pants down and sniffed his dick for some bizarre reason. My mother came in, think she saw it and put an end to the doctors game. I remember it, I wonder if he does. We were both very young, at a guess maybe 4 or something.

One time I left my used fleshlight on the floor, and my mother walked in without knocking on the door. id love to know if she saw it before I could reach it and hide it, but ive never mentioned it since.

One time I was in the car, with my mothers boyfriend, his brother, and his son. His son was touching my dick on behind the front seats. I wouldnt have been very old, I didnt enjoy it either, he was older than me. He's probably a full blown paedo now. Just goes to show, never let your kids out of your sight.

I was fapping, saw someone coming back home, i stood up at the curtain near the window watching them get out of the car and slowly make their way inside. I jerked my dick even harder with one eye on the porn and managed to cum before they opened the front door.

One time I was riding a bicycle, rode into a parked car, went straight over the handle bars.

Lost my virginity to a bitch that had either fluff or toilet paper stuck to her anus whilst hitting it from the back. It was killing my dick, tried to remove it and failed.

Whilst in the bath tub, I fingered my ass for about 6 months when I was about 5 or 6, cant remember really what age I was, but I did it.

Its incredible really that ive flourished into a reasonably intelligent (?) man, that is principled etc. Hated childhood, havent mentioned half of it.

Did things to passed out sis

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I had a thing for a couple of my bullies and pretty much all the athletes. I guess I just never really grew out of it?

So, is this kid you?

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i always buy cream filled.

i get turned on when i bite into it hard and the cream flies out like jizz

This is a bot thread.

story?

On the one hand, I could stand to see more. On the other, I worry where this is going. Is this fun for you?

My dad convinced me that with my mom gone that I needed to be the lady of the house and if I really loved him I would do what he wanted. That meant sucking him off. I did really love him so I did it even though I didn’t enjoy it.

I find incest hypothetically hot, but I could never see my own father sexy.

I have a couple cousins I might have blown though.

How long did this go on for?

same, though I don't have cousins anymore :/

A little more than 4 years

I didn’t find it hot or sexy either

Yeah, I imagine not.

Cute.

I like to watch trap on b/ while i'm intoxicating myself on poppers

My little sister is starting to turn into a gym bunny along with her friends, and it's hard not to see her in a different way since her body's getting better and she's always showing it off.

I wasn’t traumatized by it or anything like that, I just didn’t like doing it.

Erm...what?

Pic related is a recent picture of her btw.

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Raped my sister
Took pics of it

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How old were you both?

17 and 19

How did the event escalate, was she drunk?

Blacked out drunk
Tried to be nice and change her out of her clothes but got too horny in the process

Does she suspect, does act differently around you now?

"you worry too
much, Lorenzo"

'tnnnnaw
yiou're cute

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>2019
>still thinks faggot means gay

stop being a faggot

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Oh wow. Definitely not as cute as you.

I'm not sure what you're quoting to be honest.

i jerk off to girls in pantyhose

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Fitting in is not what Yea Forums is about retard...

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I avenged the Aztecs at the age of 26. Dicked a spanish prostitute for almost 45 minutes. Couldn't cum tho, i was intoxicaded. Still counts aye?

:D the same :P

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Today is my birthday.

I know that doesn't seem like it should be a secret, but my wife got up, dressed, and left for work without mentioning it.

Neither of my parents have called/texted either.

But hey, I did get an e-mail from my dentist's office wishing me a happy birthday, so there's that.

Happy Birthday, Nigga. Time to give that wife a rash of shit for it. Make her feel guilty and get that Birthday BJ.

I like nice old fashioned

Do you torture animals too?

Haha, thanks.

Sadly I am not holding out any hope. On Father's Day she turned in a card from the "coupon book" we always exchange at Christmas (a homemade book with a variety of coupons such as "oral sex", "back rub", "do the dishes" etc).

I assumed she was turning in a sexy one to kick things off. Nope. Was turning in the 30 minute backrub card.

So, for Father's Day I got to rub her back for half an hour.

my bf recently told me his might be bi because he enjoys watching gay porn, he wanted to open our relationship but i have had a past of that being too painful and said if that happened i rather us break up... I want him to figure himself out since I know I am queer because in my teen years I dated girls and guys. But now he says he wants to be just with me and it doesn't matter him dating a guy. I still feel guilty, I really love him and want him to be happy but I can't give him an experience with a man since I am not one.... I just want to be his and he be mine for once, I am never considered loveable enough to have one person to myself. Am i stupid?

I love my daughter's body. Her tits are perfect. I've cum to her many times. I want to kiss her.

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Mmm. I'm very close to my daughter. It's fun.

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ok virgin

Molested my dog in high school, rubbed her a lot, jerked in front of her. tried to penetrate but she was too tight, ended up waking up one morning to her licking my throbbing cock with long, slow licks. Finished on her face and just enjoyed her tongue cleaning and massaging my balls before passing out

gross...busted face. do not want to kiss

wtf is this from....

why you say that you need her?

ur basement?

>> I make her feel good about herself, she makes me feel good about myself, victimless crime
wtf are you talking about...she's being mislead and thinks you're somebody else. How is that victimless? Unless she knows its you and is ok with that, you're tricking her and misleading her...if it was you and roles were reversed, would you want to know you were tricked into something you wouldn't have wanted (assuming she doesn't want you...but if she did want you, you'd be fucking already and it would be obvious she's into you)

Time to opt out of that relationship, she seems selfish and cold hearted.

That girl never sends me texts or anything IRL

I am single but my secretary is married. We are having an affair at work. Her husband will sometimes pick her up so they can have lunch together. It turns me on to see them kiss after she has just had my cock in her mouth and swallowed a load of my cum. It makes me feel powerful. Is that wrong?

yeah, sure, total true, totally not some porn fantasy

We both know I'm hard 4 u

I'm secretly a 20 year old virgin. Everyone assumes that I must be pulling a different girl every week, but I'm not.

Girls have hit on me multiple times, some were even super thirsty about it. But I just don't have confidence in myself. My two closets friends are way more attractive then me, one of them is quite literally a male model

When I look at my side profile I can't help but notice my roundish skull and compare it to the chisseld jawline of my friends

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> cough
gay
> cough

Im 29, and love bigger women. I'm currently talking to a 40 year old BBW who is in the process of divorce. She wants my cock bad, and I'm going to let her have it.

its not about white knighting you fag

That can be arranged.

please faggot, you degenerates would let a chimp have your cock if it presented itself.

Yeah, that's right, fuck me for having preferences...fucking retard.

I committed the White Castle murders back in '88.

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Different fag here
I don't totally disagree with you but why are you on Yea Forums

tits or gtfo

Overheard my mom talking on the phone with a friend telling her she is fucking this young guy who always thanks her after sex. I need to know more but shit is basically a total mystery

Makes sense, he's young and inexperienced, sounds like not a douche and she's starved for attention, affection and appreciation. She loves it.

Yeah I kinda love fantasizing about it. Just wondering if it is her first time doing stuff like that. I also imagine him cumming inside her pussy since she has had her uterus removed due to a tumor and cant get pregnant anymore. Apparently some women get sex crazy after its healed up. Stuff like that is keeping me awake at night hnnng.

"Thanks Ms. user!" lol

How old are you?

Obviously you are either a serious troll or you are a virgin with no girlfriend.

Thats what stuck with me because she explicitely mentioned it being something she likes lol

28

Woah ok. I was thinking you were younger. So it sounds like she is fucking someone a lot younger than you. Is your mom hot?

I dont know how old but I guess around his 20s and no shes not hot. At least for me judging as her son. She has massive tits tho

Damn I want to know who it is too. What if it is like a neighborhood high school kid... That would be hilarious.

Lol that would make it even hotter. I always had some nice fantasies as a highschooler about my milf teachers and shit. They went unfulfilled tho. I dont know what to think about it I kinda wanna kick his ass but it makes me hard at the same time

>I kinda wanna kick his ass
What for? Your mom is getting laid. She deserves it. You should be happy for her. Before this she may not have got any in years.

Maybe youre right. Im fine with it as long as its not a niggaboi.

Are those mutually exclusive?

lmfao, look out guys, internet chuck norris is gonna beat up everyone

lmao what are you on about?

wrong quote, meant for the "kick his ass" guy

oh

I want to suck teen dick.

Must be over 15 years now. When I was about 8 yrs i killed my sisters bunny. Everyone in our family just thought the bunny got sick and died. But it was me who sufficated it. No one still knows. Will prolly take it to the grave

Bored? why not check this extremely hot active server, for the best lewds of femalees and traps!

discord gg/MVrV4FG

TOP KEK

Its also about not giving a fuck what people think or do... new fag. Now get back to where you belong ... reddit.

omg I almost
wrote "boys
or girl" .. s dick
> then I got back to the 80s

When I was away from my wife for a while because of work she cheated on me twice, both times with niggers. I forgave her after the first time after all the usually shit that sluts says to get you to take them back but guess what? She goes and does it again and this time she gets pregnant. You know what’s even worse though? I’m still with her, because I’m a huge fag. When she told me about it when we were video chatting, it made me diamonds and I jacked it while she told me, she couldn’t see that I was doin it tho. But now because of all this I have a cuck fetish and want her to fuck other guys but haven’t told her yet although I have causally mentioned her cucking me, I think she’s starting to come around

my mom dated a significantly younger guy for a while, then dumped him and went for his friend. I jerked off like a freak hearing them having sex through the paperthin walls.

I let a single-post would-have-been-a-Boxxy-thread die a few minutes ago because I am still so sick of the cancer. Was tempted to gloat, but I wasn't going to bump that shit.

I smell 3-some

I like to shit in my neighbors yard. It's funny to hear then get mad about people leaving their dogs shit in their yard.

I sure fucking hope so.
Mostly I could hear her gagging what I imagine being their dicks plowing her throat.
It was really rough sometimes

I killed a neighbor's dog last week.

>Live in gated community
>Fascist HOA
>Family with tiny, yappy lap dog lives behind me
>Dog digs under fence and destroys anything in my yard
>Talk to dog owner
>"it wont' happen again"
>Happens again
>Talk to dog owner
>"it wont' happen again"
>Happens again
>Talk to dog owner
>"it wont' happen again"
>Happens again
>Complain to HOA
>Noted in community newsletter!

>By this point guy behind me won't talk to me anymore.....

Last week I was home alone (wife and kids went on camping trip with in-laws I hate)

>Go out drinking with guys from work after work
>Come at 1:30am
>Dog in backyard
>Get .22 air-rifle I use for killing squirrels
>Throw hotdog onto patio
>Wait in kitchen
>Shoot dog dead with a single head shot
>Silence, the gun is quiet and the dog never made a sound

>Stuff dog into garbage bag
>Toss in trunk of car
>Go to bed

Wake up in AM to find rifle on kitchen table

>Oh yeah....dead dog in car
>Go for coffee
>Dump dog in road about 1 mile from home
>Go home

>Neighbor comes over to ask if I have seen the dog as I'm washing the blood out of the trunk of my car.

> "I have no idea where your dog is"

I honestly feel bad about this. I like dogs, just not that one.

> pic related - the .22 Swarm is awesome

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I swing with couples, started when I was in college nearly 6-7 years ago after hearing about this guy I knew in one of my classes tell me about how he walked in on his roommate having sex. They invited him to join if he wanted but he didnt. Honestly I have no idea why but it made me want to fuck someone elses girlfriend/wife.

Weird thing is ive never been in a serious relationship, had fuck buddies but never a girlfriend. If I ever get one I hope shes up for it. Im gonna give one of the nerdy guys in college the chance to fuck her, just like the couples gave me a shot.

I stay with a guy who constantly checks out other women daily. not just that but thinks about fucking them..I cant even have girl friends for the fear of him lusting after them . Every day i have to stomach the sight of him browsing all the porn on b as he gets a hard on right next to me...I'm too pathetic and sad to even attempt to leave because ive waisted so much love and energy on this man that I just wait for the kiss of death to end my suffering.

orly

should have shot the owner with that air rifle, faggot

>I stay with a guy
pic related

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>be 21
>living in a house share with 3 girls + 1 guy
>one of the girls and the guy are dating, we'll call them Jack and Jane
>means we have a spare room, so becomes our sitting room
>stingy landlord converted it to a bedroom to squeeze more money out of the tenants
>we've all been friends through college so know each other pretty well
>Jane has epilepsy and has seizures.
>Not very frequently. We all know what to do. Nothing to worry about
>girl 2 stays at her bfs most nights
>girl 3 works as a waitress so is out most nights
>Jane is a super-loud fuck, and I gotta admit it's a turn-on
>lots of banter about it, but we've been friends for ages so all fun
>one evening hear Jane and Jack fucking for at least half an hour
>guess they think i'm out because their door is wide open
>but i've been home all day, just didn't come out of my room since they got home
>they've been out for dinner, sounded a little tipsy when they got home
>my room is directly opposite theirs, so I crack the door and do my usual creep on them
>shocked when I see their door open, but can't see much because bed is behind the door
>basically sounds like i'm in the room with them
>they finish up, go and shower together, then Jane goes to bed while Jack goes to work
>Jack works at a bar
>Head to bed myself, Netflix in bed
cont.?

nope she was unconscious pretty much
stars aligned for me that night

stop w the continue shit just give the story

>Jane has epilepsy and seizures

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Psycho

you are not wrong, and nice trips

Just a way to break up the story for the character limit tbh

>Only about half an hour later hear noises from Janes room, go and investigate
>Think she might be having some fun-time on her own, so figure i'll just have a second creep myself
>Door is open slightly, so hear the tell-tale signs of a grand-mal
>Boner instantly disappears, go and do the usual (roll her to her side, protect her head, wait it out)
>Get into her room and she's under the covers having a fit
>Pull the cover back to roll her over, see her butt-naked
>Conflicted, but do my duty
>Only lasts for another 10 seconds or so, then she's out cold
>She's still breathing, this is all normal
>Except for the fact she's butt-naked
>Incredibly hot body
>Slim, pale, medium/small tits, perfect ghost-nips
>curiosity gets the better of me, pull down the blanket all the way and see a perfectly shaved snatch
>figure this is going to be my only chance ever
>throw my trousers off and get onto the bed
>part her legs and brush my dick up against her pussy
>very wet, maybe from the earlier fuck-sesh
>super-smooth, this is a wax job clearly
>heart beating through my mouth, i push the tip into her
>no reaction, she's still out cold, dribbling a little from one side of her mouth

>fuck it
>slowly ease all the way in
>it's so hot and wet I almost cum immediately
>stay still inside her for an eternity, listening for tell-tale signs she's conscious
>she shouldn't be yet
>still no reaction
>slide in and out a few times, no more than 10 times
>feel myself cumming
>push all the way in once more
>cum deep inside
>nearly pass out from the feeling of adrenaline, fear and relief coming all at once
>slowly pull out of her
>sit back and survey what i've done
>a little cum dribbles out of her perfect smooth pussy lips
>no guilt at all which i'm surprised by
>cover her back up, head back to my room
>she never suspected a thing (she never remembers her seizures, or anything just before or after)
>the first of many times I fucked her

And that, kids, is how I discovered a fetish I never knew I had.
Obviously her name is not Jane.

>the first of many times I fucked her
Jane: Doctor, my pussy hurts after seizures, is that normal?

Lol I didn't always fuck her after a fit, but I was careful that when I was being sneaky it was only ever after she had just been fucked by her BF.

sloppy seconds, yummy

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Moar!

2 fetishes discovered lol
moar of what? May as well make this an AMA cos i've not typed out any more stories

I come from a very nice family , got myself into a big problem with alcohol, over months and months I got worse , I hid it very well , but eventually they found out , I promised to stop but every time I let them down,
Ended up walking out , found myself on the streets. A new world , found some very good people who helped me but I was still needing drink , after a few weeks , I found myself sleeping in the park . Woke up found 2 guys laying with me , kept me warm so I did not move . Next day very early I was getting the shakes . One of the guys had a 6 pack , I asked for 1 , they both laughed, what exchange? I had nothing but was so so desperate, I said what do you want , the younger one said show your tits . I felt so cheap, but desperate I opened my blouse , pulled my bra down and showed them , they fell about , so small , not worth a drink, I cried . They laughed more , better show us your pussy , I could see I was not going to win but I was shaking and feeling so sick cramps , I pulled up my skirt , pulled panties aside and they bothe looked , spread it babe , I did , he threw me a can I fell down more to catch it , opened and drank it , I just ignored as one started touching me up , I finished the beer felt a bit better but needed more , I let them both finger me and take pics . I feel so cheap

ded

I have been overpaying for pussy all this time. Thanks for the story

>this thread has been up for over 12 hours

What the fuck is this

closer to 17 and a half

you've got mad audacity being this new and talking this much shit

Spooky

ask her if she has an incest fetish

yeah

Tomorrow my wife goes away for the weekend. I've arranged for an escort to come to my house 2.5 hours later. I do this because an affair is too dangerous. I love my wife but I haven't found her attractive for some time. We still have sex a couple of times a week but I miss different pussy. Over the the past four years I've probably slept with 20 different women, two were not escorts.

rent a room faggot. Women can smell sex on their homes

>ruining your life for a fetish.

Fuuuun

She leaves tomorrow and does not return until Monday. Ill just change the sheets, it's no big deal.

>sunk cost fallacy

Time to grow up

post!!!

who is this

I moved away to another area , found a few other managed to get to a hostel and food but not hungry managed to get a few £££ and got drink .
Got a bed that night but still needed more drink , found using my looks even tho I’m older helped to get some gifts, it seems a lot of these homeless know each other , so was not long before I’m with a guy who has vodka , he gets close up, I think I’m getting a free drink , then he whispers , I hear you like to show your tits for a drink ......
I pretend I don’t understand but he knows , shows me a pic on his phone , I need that drink , so so bad , it hurts so much , I show him . I get some drink ...

my gf and I are trying to seduce our female best friend into a threesome

Oh man. Literal ROFLMAO

HAHA lol rofl Yea Forums is so funny lmao

show pix?

well your story got me quite hard, how old are you?

How old were you?
When did you start turning tricks?

lmao, that was great