21, male, only sex i ever had was being raped for 10 years by my brother, FML, ask me anything

21, male, only sex i ever had was being raped for 10 years by my brother, FML, ask me anything

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Are family reunions... awkward ?

Do you hate him?

Are you gay now and also do you think about killing the man?

He move out 3 years ago with his gf, I try to avoid all contacts as i can. Yes, its hard to pretend we are normal family.

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so you became gay, am I right?

Let's make this thread an interesting one, everyone:

- As a kid were you forced to any level of sex with your older brother?

If yes:

- Are you gay, today?

pls genuinely curious.

This is very hard question for me. Im not sure. Yes for what hes done, but i cant say he was bad brother otherwise.... he helped me a lot, he protected me... and he used me....

who rapes you now?

I dont know what I am. Im not looking for sex. Im fapping mostly to gay porn so probably I am gay, I dont know.....

I had sexual encounters with my older brother. I´m not gay, more bi-curious

He started using me when i was 8, it started with handjobs and blowjobs. When i was 13, he started fucking me. He fucking me in shower was not unusual.

Okay, this is definitely a larp.

You stupid..

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And yet you post here about it, so clearly you have the need to deal with it somehow.
Go visit 5 different therapists, tell them the story. Take the one who listens, but doesn't pretend to be on your side.
No one said anything about being suicidal and the fact that this popped into your head is telling.
Go do something about it, lad.

So you never had sex with anyone but him? Are you trying to change that?

Hey I liked that movie !
Gotta love that bamboozle the scrawny dude pulls out :^)

got raped the same age but now Im a junkie faggot whore

Thanks, but you were the one that brought it, right?
What about your twin brother, is he gay?

Well. You are right. I try to speak about it. But that doesnt mean im calling for help. im not feeling it that way. And i still dont know what any of that therapis can do for me other than empty my wallet.

Mitch is a made man, anyone that has a problem with that, T-dog will fucking cut you.

>junkie faggot whore
Well you have 3 jobs then..

Who fucked who? Or did you just blow each other?

I mean faggot n whore kinda combines

What was sucking your first cock like and stroking one that's not your own

Just with him. I guess i will want family one day.... so... i guess i should start dating.

Kinda, it just kinda started as a joke/game.
No, he's no gay. But by the time I used to like to feel pressure on my anus (not exactly penetration, but I tried it a few times tho, but felt no pleasure out of it), I don't like it anymore.

I know im not alone but nice to know im doing better. Sorry.

No, no. A faggot can be a whore and a whore can be a faggot. So a whore doesn't have to be a faggot and the faggot doesn't have to be a whore. Or you can be a faggot whore or a whore faggot. There is options

69

are/were you addicted to anal penetration? during that time have you ever asked cock from him?

How often did he do that to you?

there is options but still merges

That sounds like my teenage years. I was getting dick from my older bro on the daily. However it was more consentual, I loved getting fucked by him.

Meh, potato, potato..

No, mostly i was not aroused while he was fucking me. He didnt care much about my pleasure, he only wanted to get off. I dont say, there was no parts that i didnt like... And no, never asked him for his cock.

On daily basis.

So like OP you are gay today too, right?

No op liked it to. He's just being a giant pussy about it.

Forgot to mention, there was this high school Asian girl that'd always tell us to "do Yaoi", it was a nice ego boost, but part of me felt kinda "oh fuck, don't remember it, don't remember", we'd just tell her "no" in a jokingly manner (but honestly I felt like doing it if she and her friends actually wanted to watch it)

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Not true, both statements.

not op but used to hate it during that time as it was pretty painful. Now I cant get enough cock up my ass

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I have known a few men who were raped/sexually assaulted by family members. They refused to get help in the beginning because that would've made them a victim and they couldn't let that be.
Those are questions you should ask the therapists, tbh.
Personally I think that something happened to you that shouldn't have happened and it's unclear what the fallout is yet. To make sure you can keep it at a minimum, it'd be good to get a professional opinion.
Is the first session not free where you live?
What you'll get here are voyeuristic cunts looking for tragedy porn to jerk off to. If that's what you need, you do do.

Im happy if someone at least can jerk it to that

>you just took his dick without ever asking why he does it
>you never asked him to stop

Stop lying you faggot. Sorry but the problem isn't him fucking you but you moving your hips as he slaps your as

Point taken, but dont know if that applies to me. Will think about that.

There is no problem, im just doing AMA.
Also he told me always what to do. When he told me to move hips, I did.

Lol I feel insulted. It not like porn isn't voyeuristic in nature you idiot.

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????????? mate no

Faggots say "mate" all the time as well

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Good post. I was abused by my older brother for years although I'm a gril, not a dude) and I refused therapy for those exact reasons. Years later I gave it a go and just voicing what I went through, which I hadn't gone into detail about with anyone, although it was difficult to talk about, it helped immensely in the long run.

OP. How?

I should add that my brother had a fuckton of emotional problems himself, before and after so I think he was damaged by it too at least partially.

Talk about it here. But tits and timestamp first gril.

No, I identify as hetero. Still think about cock regularly though.

How did it help? To put it in a nutshell just with general well being and being able to sleep better at night. I stopped hating myself as much. It's more than that but you get the gist.

Sexual abuse? Or physical?

I was raped multiple times by our house servent/baby sitter.
I am not gay and also oddly not really traumatized by it, but I did think about killing him all the the time at some point.
but I was really young when it all happened like 3-5 yo. I do think my mom had a massive mental breakdown after catching him rape me and it has probably changed the whole way how she sees me and generally how she feels about me, since I am kind of from a 3rd world country and very old style people family, in our family most women aunts/moms are uneducated.

Lol that shows more what you think than what the world thinks.

Faggots don't have to be whores, but to you, it's the same thing. Probably because you're a power bottom used to being used by people because of your early experiences. Not everyone has the same experience.

did you rape him back?

Thx. But i dont hate myself, clearly was not my fault, i have no problems with sleep.... But anyway, glad it helped you.

Even if I wanted I did not had physical strenght to do anything to him.

Are you into shota because of it?

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no matter if a window is blue or not its still just a single fucking window. In this sense faggot is an adjective while whore is a noun.

not OP, yes Iam

I like shota. Maybe trying to pretend i want to be the older one...?

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Kids do whatever you tell them. That's why they should be protected.

I know *plenty* of molested chicks. Last I checked many many years ago, 1 out of 4 women have been molested. It changes how they see sex, they need to be used. Ugly or pretty, they all get molested.

Honestly, this is 95% of the reason pretty girls like assholes. If a girl is pretty, her chances of being molested and turned into a whore are like 50% because that's what pedophiles want, but they will settle for an ugly vulnerable one.

I didn't understand it when I was younger, but the pretty ones that have been molested like to be grabbed and say no, but their pussy INSTANTLY gets wet and ready. I made a rule, a chick has to tell me no 3 times before I give up. I'm not talking about being rapey, just being direct and wanting to fuck and trying and then chilling for a sec and asking if their pussy is getting wet. 8 out of 10 times they let me fuck.

To these sluts, being alone with a dude means they will be fucked

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if anyone shows interest in me Ill think Im in love and would let them fuck me. But if I say no and it gets ignored I still try to please that person n wont stop em but will feel pretty bad up to suicidal for weeks to months after also all arousal is gone then

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Good on you, stay on that path. We're all gonna be fine.
Godspeed.
I'm not insulting you - there's not a lot OP can expect from posting an AMA about this on Yea Forums, I'm merely giving an alternate perspective. You're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing, given the frame of the interaction.

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This dude got raped by his house nigger lol

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This was basically me all my childhood.

when others refuse therapy, while you desperately try to get therapy since years while during the wait ruining your body mind and life more and more. Being a regular at the ER cause of self harm injuries and Drug related shit, still wont receive help with that shit cus every time you try to tell it a professional all they tell you is that they cant help, you need therapy and wait for therapy is half a year up to a year and you need to be clean and somewhat stable for that hahahaha

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Those therapists are right, you sound like a case for a mental institution until you get the drug use figured out.

Also i dont like word "therapist" from obvious reason.

did rehab clean for half a year, finally can apply for mental institution hit a new low after rehab suicidal af unable to function anymore tell me they call back as they dont have a bed for me right now, make me wait so long that I relapse check back there, they didnt even note my fucking number or that I was there and had a 2h talk. So now half a year of my life felt absolutely horrible and was wasted if I at least relapsed earlier it wouldnt have been so unbearable and actually less time wasted waiting for shit that wont ever fucking happen

You're boring

Never said otherwise.

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>make me wait so long that I relapse
Not to be a dick here but it doesn't sound like you learned anything at all during rehab.
You don't take responsibility for your problems, everything is the other party's fault. That's typical for drug users of course, but you can't expect any therapist (or group) to want to work with you at that point.

child services suggested to my family they let me meet a therapist when I was 7 never happned just a collection of more and more traumatic shit and no matter how hard and desperate you cry for help you wont get any

its my fault I do drugs but I really dont see any other way besides suicide

This

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TITS OR GTFO

I'm sorry you feel that way.

You're a pathetic faggot, kill yourself

how much did you enjoy that ass fucking?

No intention in doing that. Have a nice day.

Kill yourself

Before I went to rehab I still was able to work and live my life care for myself just somewhat depressed. Out I go as jittery suicidal mess unable to even communicate properly cant feel anything positive at all even after reaching major goals or easy getting girls buying shit losing interest in everything then rapidly losing more weight than when on drugs, libido is gone. Everything is gone

KILL YOURSELF NOW YOU PATHETIC FAGGOT

1. It was often painful, cos he really didnt bother and for lube he used only spits or kitchenoil later.

2. Mostly he layed on me with all his weight and that was very uncomfortable.

3. Cant say that there was nothing i enjoyed. He was my brother, he "loved me" (i expained that to myself since little kid) and fucking was something forbiden and thrilling. And i liked his orgasms sort of....

Kill yourself

Sauce?

Random internetz. Sry.

neighbor who fucked me had tons of lube and condoms around didnt bother to use disgustin fag

this thread makes me wanna die
yall should die too cus you deserve to just like anyone else and you dont matter just like everyone else all the same

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I will. Some day.You will too.

why do you deserve to be happy more, what did you do to deserve to feel ok

Like there is some higher power that judges who deserve what? Get real.

shit doesnt make any sense nothing makes any fucking sense

like why not randomly kill everyone in sight it literally makes no difference nothing is real nothing has any worth

you dont deserve it I dont deserve it why accept that someone else got something unjustified while you get nothing

me_irl

Source?...sub looks cute