What the fuck is this shit?

you have no ideea how fast he was, i aint risking it, and besides i have arachnofobia im literaly shaking right now

hes dead

Looks like a tegenaria or most likely a giant house spider if it's fast. They can bite but they aren't venomous and they're also pussies.

>yo op I think it might be a spider

>Looks like a tegenaria or most likely a giant house spider if it's fast. They can bite but they aren't venomous and they're also pussies.
If only they knew how much they turn humans into pussies

Looks like one of them Australian man-eating spiders. I'd stay well away OP.

It's a spider, faggot. It's only dangerous if you're retarded enough to sperg out and hurt yourself running away from it.

dude please, tell me how can i keep these fucks away from my house. what's their weakness, what are they driven away from?

why do you think they hide at face level

Who? The Spider? Or OP?

Bad luck for you is that they originated from caves and are attracted to heat (i.e nice warm houses). You could try freezing yourself if you think it's worth it. Also if you put them outside they find their way back in. In my experience they are unavoidable.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCK

You heard the man you need to set your house on fire. They're unavailable

>you are never more than three meters from a spider at any given time
You cannot stop us.

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If you do kill it I'd like to hear how big it is. The biggest one I ever caught had a 4 inch legspan, pic related is a little one that woke me up by crawling over me.

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Good thing I don't see spiders like this in my neck of the woods....

The scent released by a dead spider attracts more spiders seeking to take the freed up territory.

>Good thing I don't see

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Yeah. It's far too cold here for them.

it was the same size as your pic maybe a very tiny bit bigger.

lol 2 weeks ago I was laying on my bed about to sleep and i fealt something in my hair. I put my hand back there like wtf is that and I felt a somethings legs moving between my fingers. I loosely grabbed it and threw it down on the cover and saw this nasty, fuck off big spider go running into the shadows. Turned my whole bedroom upside down that night, couldn't sleep until that fucker was eliminated.

A few nights later I'm sat on my bed browsing, and this little cunt spider literally dangles down between my face and the screen. It's hanging like 1.5 meters from the ceiling just to get in my face. Wasn't so bad but that cunt got put out in the shed.

Tonight, I'm laying on my bed and again something tickles my arm. I look down and a little spider ran across it and over to my pillow. I turned everything over again trying to find it but this one got away.

And people say "The myth that we eat spiders in our sleep is untrue, as spiders tend to stay away from people and would avoid crawling over them" Bullshit, that's 3 spiders in 2 weeks all trying to get on me while I'm in bed.

Anyway, sweet dreams

t-thanks...

This is true, though the new spiders usually wait until the middle of the night.

Some people are just tasty.
-Not a spider

I wanna see some really scary looking spiders, guys. Post 'em now, please.

During my A-levels, I had revision papers strewn all over the floor, which is also where I sleep and I was just drifting off when I heard something.
Turned out one of OP's friends had got into my room and was so big that its pattering footsteps on my papers was clearly audible. I turned the light on but by the time I could look it had disappeared.
Went back to bed and lay there with a torch until the pattering started again but it was so fast I couldn't track it with the light and it got away again.
In the end I fell asleep to the sounds of it scurrying around because I had an exam to do the next day. That was a fun night.

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lel

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Insecticide, dude. Not for them but for the things they eat. If they have no food to prey upon, they will go where the food actually IS. Crack the circle of life, homo.

Is op dead yet?

OP was a spider the whole time. Gauging collective responses to his kind before the invasion starts

maybe it was a mouse or something? i can't even imagine a spider that big but I'm pretty thankful for that.

Reminder that nowhere is safe.

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Time to whip out the flame thrower then

I actually really like spiders. I would be a willing subject of the spider king if they ever decided to take their rightful place as the supreme beings of this world. Disregard anything else I've posted in this thread, that was someone else.

Ive seen this before!! You better run!!

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what kind of 8 legged cunt is that?

yeah it'd be a shame having to fend of ancient armored arachnids with small arms. bundled together in walled cities. thinking every single day will be your last.

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You don’t. You move somewhere cold or you learn to put up with bugs.

C'mon. I want some spiders. Big, ugly nasty ones.

I definitely saw it long enough to make out the spidery shape, plus the footsteps were too rapid to be a mouse. It's easy to tell once you hear it.
Looks like a variant of a huntsman to me, bad luck if you're Australasian.

One forested area of Hong Kong I went to had hundreds of these fuckers dangling around in a small area, shame I can't find any of my own pics.

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Jesus. That is one nasty looking spider. Did it really kill that bird that's trapped in it's web?

These fuckers like to hang at face level in the jungles in okinawa. Always a good time minding your own fucking business and having one of these fat bastards giving you a mug hug

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You fucking moron that's a spiderbro. Let him eat bugs in your house and watch over you.

Marine detected

>face level
manlet detected

OH FUG COVER BLOWN POP SMOKE RUN AWAY GATHER AT THE PX

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just put on a shoe and step on it

your detector might be picking up your ego from the background

They are wary of prey that big, I think their strategy is to bite once then let the bird slowly die. Their webs are strong enough to hold such prey in place, I've seen webs of theirs that are several metres across if you want an idea of scale.
I thought running into British orb weaver webs was bad, the strength of the silk is truly remarkable when it's holding the spider against your face.

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dont leave stuff lying around that they can hide in/behind
basically keep your shit clean and you will see less spiders

You could just learn to recognize the handful of venemous spiders in your area, so you don’t have to freak out every time you see a normal house spider

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you'd think the screaming and flailing would be enough to teach them a lesson but no

youtube.com/watch?v=xF2GlKxZ3zI

dancing spider

why do you have that many spiders in your room

Go there and get some Taco Bell. Throw taco meat into the web like I used to do and watch them rush the meats. Everytime.

hell nah

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i used to make smokers give them cigarettes. I think i was doing them less of a favor than i thought. both the spider and the debuh dawg

Dunno about that guy but my pet spiders are some of the few friends I have, whether they like it or not.

The warmer weather has just started going and it's gotten shit and cold out for a couple of weeks. That plus the reported increase in spiders this year means that a lot of them have been coming into my house looking for warmth.

Top notch response, and pic, user!

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>t. crawls in the dark

are spiders even intelligent enough to register your existance as anything but a threat

Course not, I just like feeding them flies and seeing them grow big and strong. I'm very proud of this one false widow who keeps eating all the males that try to court her; I didn't raise her to be a whore after all.

none of the ones i killed could be reached for comment.

i once brought a fleet of geckos into the house i was renting to fight off a pod of orb weavers. The battles were fierce but in the end the gecko hoard overtook the spidereich

>don't see
We have adapted. Your time is coming.

I could be retarded, but that looks more like 4-5 centimeters to me.

OP, get food-grade diatomacious earth and sprinkle it around the walls, corners, windows, and doors. It won't hurt you if it's food-grade, but exoskeletal creatures get ripped apart by it. Shit cuts through them like mini razors and kills them good.

Are you always this retarded and wrong or is today a special day for you?

8 eyes good, 2 eyes bad!
That sounds like a lot of fun, geckos are funny little bastards. Shame UK wildlife is limited in terms of decent battles that can be set up.
Yeah that's just a little one I caught, not the four-incher.

>geckos
now these are the lads

wow these manlets are feisty today

It's a harmless spitting spider. The one in the pic is a mature male.

If you killed it, expect an influx of roaches, flies, and mosquitos into your house since they are adept predators.

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it was a wood spider thy live for up to 15 years. they aren't inclined to biting humans unless you sperg out and try killing it or grabbing at it like a giant 4 year old. on the plus side they are mostly nocturnal and will actually hunt for insects that get in your house. had one that lived in my apartment for 5 years lived under our entertainment stand damn thing was still living there when we moved out.most it might do is run across your feet at night.

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Definitely not a wood spider, compare the size of the eyes.

Also, your pic is a wolf spider fyi.

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Source?

you're right looking at it again i think this user is spot on yeah posted the wrong pic ah well other user got it right

There are things out there much worse than spiders, and 9 times out of 10 spiders will kill them for you. I let spiders live unless they invade my personal space.

>he sprayed spider steroids on a spider bull
Kek what a cuck

>Nigga bolted thru the door and under the table, he was fast as fuck boi. Sprayed half a can of raid on him.
WELL HE WASN'T GOING TO HARM YOU. HE WAS OBVIOUSLY TRYING TO GET DISTANCE AWAY FROM YOU SO AS NOT TO DISTURB YOU. BUT GREAT JOB KILLING AN INNOCENT CREATURE OUT TO DO YOU NO HARM. YOU SURE MUST FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN BEING SO SCARED OF A TINY SPIDER. KYS!!

Just googled prehistoric spider was hoping for some massive sommomabitch but bugs never really left fossils so...

typing in all caps makes you seem like a downey wearing a Styrofoam helmet

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let me guess you live in sydney?

15 years?
i didnt know spiders lived that long

Tarantulas can live 30 years+

i found this little guy last week.

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OP here, heres more pictures of the fucker, i can't upload them here because mug 2mb per file

imgur.com/a/sMFy7Ng

Haha! Look! I'm such a big man. I killed a tiny little spider because I'm such a pussy.

england

dude i have arachnophobia i dont give a fuck im not strong im scared like a bitch of them thats why i sprayed him and didnt even dare to step on him wtf its wrong with you?

Fucking banana spiders are horrible. Would run across mile-long sections during bike rides with webs like this a couple feet above my head.

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I kind of want to do this at my job. Except in this example the spiders are coworkers and the geckos are coyotes.

Big spiders are woman tho

Accurate. I've encountered the same thing. Fuckers are everywhere.

I think your dog has rabies OP. Take him to a vet, and spraying raid on him probably didnt help

looks like a brown recluse. def. dangerous

not every spider you see on the internet is a brown recluse my dude

Underrated, great ending btw.