Male victims of domestic abuse share your stories

Male victims of domestic abuse share your stories
This is a safe place

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My wife said if I want to continue with the cuckold lifestyle I had to throw out my maga hat. It's abusive.

My mother used to throw plates at my head when I wasn't looking. That is about all the physical abuse I got growing up. She broke probably 50+ plates on my head.

Oh so that's why you're so retarded

Safe space? In my Yea Forums?

Anyways. Here's my story.

I was married for 10 years. I married young and dumb at 20. She was 19 and it was a short engagement. We had known each other throughout middle and high school so it didn't feel like a red flag.

For the first five years we were happy. She had been raised by her grandmother because her father was an alcoholic and her mother was a 'free spirit' that bounced from job to job, state to state. They were nearly estranged for most of her life.

About five years in something changed in her. Before she had been responsible but around 25 she had become very volatile and angry. At first it was never directed at me but her temper grew. Her grandmother and I became concerned and after some convincing we began couples therapy. After a few sessions our therapist recommended that she see a psychiatrist herself. Ultimately she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She began taking medications and for a couple years it was good again.

Her grandmother passed away suddenly and after the estate was settled her mother entered the picture. It's funny how money and property will do that.

Within a year she was flushing her medications. Her mother would come to town and take her out regularly. Soon the volatility returned with a vengeance. My ex-wife began hitting me any time she was under stress. At first it was slaps. Then she began throwing things and hitting me with objects. I had never so much as raised my voice with her. The police became involved about a year after her relapse and she began going out any time she would get upset. At first it was a couple hours, then a couple days at a time. After this things got better in some ways. At least the hitting stopped. What I didn't know was that she was picking up men and women all over town. When I was working she was inviting people into our home.

One night at work I finished early and came home to surprise her with a small gift and dinner.

1/2

2/2 not much left.

When I got home I caught her in bed with what turned out to be another married couple. My ex-wife jumped from bed and the details after are fuzzy. But the other couple's testimony filled in the details.

She grabbed one of my golf clubs from the closet and struck me I. The head. After I lost consciousness she continued to hit me. She broke one of my legs, both my arms, and several ribs before the other guy pulled her off of me. The woman called the police and my ex-wife was arrested. I spent a couple weeks in the hospital. I had a divorce petition drawn up while I was in a physical therapy/rehab. While she was initially arrested she was able to use our savings to bond out.

Eventually the prosecutor took a plea for a domestic violence and assault charge. The assault charge would be sealed after 5 years. I was angry at the time. In the divorce I lost half of everything despite the assault. She even got to keep the bond money she posted from our shared account.

I still walk with a limp and get horrible migraines. I had one relationship after the divorce but decided it was just better if I was on my own. That was 4 years ago now.

Shoulda left her a while ago. First unreasonable attack and I would've been out. I'm a guy btw and yes this statement seems a little ironic but that's my opinion

tl;dr
she threatened to accuse me of rape if I didn't fuck her.

hahaha you say

yeah...well she woke me up in the middle of the night, every night, for sex. Cut me off from my friends and family one by one, and leeched off of me financially.

got to the point where she cut and bruised herself before going out in public with me, in an attempt that I would be assumed to be culprit.

her raping me was just the tip of the iceberg.

Hindsight is 20/20. I was raised to take marriage vows very seriously. Had a very religious and conservative upbringing. After awhile I convinced myself that this was what relationships were like and that it was my fault. I told myself I wasn't supportive enough or that I wasn't a good enough husband. You can become trapped in that thinking. Plus when she wasn't abusive she was very loving. At the time I didn't understand how bpd led her to behave this way. How her mental illness affected her relationships.

lol, hahaha fucking pussy

lol, hahahahaha fucking pussy

I was kicking the shit out of my wife and she slapped me..I've never felt so betrayed and wronged. I thought she loved me

My ex wife used to rape me and physically assault me if I didn't comply. She would insert various objects in my ass and beat me if I didn't comply. It was so painful and humiliating. Glad she's my ex now

>It was so painful and humiliating
You are so brave.

>Also flaming faggot pussy, but brave all the same.

Damn.. Now I know what red flags to keep an eye out for. The closest I've come to being a victim of domestic abuse is my mom chimping out on me for minor stuff, like playing games on the computer without asking for permission first, or getting drops of water on the bathroom floor when showering. presumably from her having lousy days at work.

i don't get it
is this some sort of political statement
if it is, you should grow the fuck up

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My wife beat the fuck out of me regularly. She suspected me as being a pedophile. She is bitter, controlling, I fear for my life.

She's always been violent. I believe she's killed people.

When she lost the election in 2016, she beat me for 2 consecutive days. I could barely walk.

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Man I'm really sorry that this happened to you and I know I'm just a stranger on the internet but I'm truly wishing you the best

I mean I wouldn't say I'm brave. If I was brave I would have stood up to her without the intervention of my sister.

Is that you bill let us help you

Sorry to hear this b/ro. What the adolescents here who are calling you pussy don't realise is how insidious this shit is. It creeps up on you and what was normal slowly becomes abnormal, but familiar. You keep going because you think you can do the right thing, fix it, make it better, all the while you're not realising just how bad it has become.

Yeah. Thanks. It's a weird thing. Your entire worldview shifts over time. I'm still working through all of it.

>/b
>safe place
ok user

And domestic abuse by women against men most often isn't physical, but psychological.

I can't go into much detail now, but the mother of my child, who I had been with 18 years, got worse and worse after the kid came along. It started with judgement about anything, small things, what I was eating (I mostly ate healthily) or drinking (I like a drink but not excessively), what I was doing with my time, to become literally constant nagging about every aspect of our life, everything was my fault, and nothing I did was ever good enough. She would have screaming rows in front of our child, seeing how freaked out she was wouldn't stop her. She would constantly ask for money even though she wouldn't work. She wouldn't communicate about anything beyond dumping her rage on me and walking out of the room before I could reply. She would take the kid and go off into her room and I could hear her telling her how bad daddy was. If I wouldn't rise to her bait she would goad and provoke me, trying to get a reaction. Sometimes very physically, right in my face, vicious anger.

In all the years we were together she never once said sorry for anything, ever. After I left I found out that this is one of the signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

I decided to leave after a long time of getting very stressed every day by the thought of going home after work. I realised I was carrying so much tension that I was heading for a heart attack. I really thought I might be on the way out. Been out now for 9 months and it was definitely the right thing. She was a complete and utter cunt afterwards, telling friends and family(!) how I had been abusive. Obvious lies to anyone who cared to check, but of course some who didn't know me so well took her at face value. She's very good, very convincing, a Narcissist trait. Anyone who doesn't know about NPD should google it. I didn't know about it when I was with her, and would have got out years before if I had known. Wasted 1/2 my life

I dated a ghetto Los Angeles Mexican chick

Lost.

>Los Angeles
>Ghetto
>Mexican
I bet she was feisty

this is me. Yes, still trying to work through it. Can't imagine ever trusting anyone again, can't imagine what a relationship would be like. And I'm over 50, supposedly a grown up with some understanding of how things work. Didn't see this coming though. Now I'm really doubting myself, how the fuck am I supposed to know what to do in the future as regards women? I want sex, not sure if I even want companionship, the thought of being answerable to anyone, even in terms of going out with somebody, makes me freeze up in side, the thought of living with someone in the future makes me panic like I'm facing a death sentence.

savage

Don't usually say this of 4chins but damn dude.
My heart goes out to you.
I hope you eventually heal from this horrible situation. I remember that "magic" mushrooms and/or MDMA can help treat horrible ptsd as well as migraines.

>borderline personality disorder
I have that, but i'm a guy.

That woman is something!

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I didn’t figure this out until years after the fact but it helps to know that I was pretty fucking used to child abuse. Like having my parents physically force me to the ER for a mandatory psychiatric hold because I didn’t want to eat dinner with the family, being beaten on the head to the point of concussion, sexually assaulted by my brother, regularly threatened with knives as a “joke”, all that fun stuff.

So of course I associate love with being treated like shit, and when this girl I have a crush on shows some reciprocal interest in me, I’m ecstatic. And when three months have gone by and she’s throwing fireworks at my head inside the house she’s renting because she finds my reaction funny… well, I’m just overreacting.

Some time passes, and she’s bringing up the first time we had sex, which was evidently rape despite her repeatedly and enthusiastically saying yes. For years she’s gonna go back and forth on whether or not it was rape… mostly not rape, except when she’s mad at me, then it is rape. I’m living with her this summer, because its that or go live with my parents, and at least she doesn’t threaten to call the cops on me and have them put me in a psychiatric institution indefinitely because mini-USB and micro-USB ports are different things. But I’m a rapist, and she tells everyone this because she’s mad at me. She’s mad because I wore shorts and a t-shirt out of the apartment which show old self-harm scars, and that means I’m encouraging people to commit suicide… I am basically unrepentantly murdering these people and our friends have to know that I am a rapist.

More time passes. She makes it known that I am responsible for her health and her very life. She will not take the medication to deal with her mental health issues. She promises that if I don’t do what she wants she will slash her wrists in the shower and I’ll find her when I come home from work, since work is so important to me. (She does not work or go to class.) She slashes her wrists once in front of me, and another time makes a show of eating (not swallowing)a whole bottle of medication in front of me. In retrospect, manipulation, not genuine attempts at suicide. She promises me that if I don’t do her laundry just so, she will murder me and hide my body on top of a local mountain, and she gloats that she will getaway with it because no one will miss me and her aunt is a judge. She promises me that she will kill both of us.

In lesser terms, she convinces me that I am the abusive one. I’m watching unapproved shows on television, I’m listening to unapproved music, I’m going to work and to school, she’s just trying to protect herself and everyone else from my inherent abusive nature. She has to hit me, she has to control me. I don’t understand it because I’m a man. She fucks with the car while I’m driving, wrenching the wheel and the gear shift and trying to jump out the door and covering my eyes. It’s just fun she says. I’m being abusive in telling her to stop. I’m being abusive in not buying her takeout every day, in telling her not to break into cars, in not giving her half of everything I get (at minimum). One night she drives my car drunk and high and nearly hits a parked car as she speeds through a blizzard and I demand that she stops and lets me drive. She gets out and walks away toward the lake where she has told me a million times she will go drown herself and it will be my fault. I believe her, but I can’t find her and I can’t think straight, so I go home. She shows up later, drunker and higher than before.

We break up a bit later, no contact after that point. Some years later I hear that she has killed herself. I am genuinely sorry that she died -- I wanted her to have a good life and never see me again -- but I am also incredibly happy that she can never hurt me again.

I'm sorry to read that, I feel you. I'm on my phone rn, so not really in the mood to type a long text. Ill share my story another time. Long story short: i was in relationship with a girl that was diagnosed with borderline, too. I experienced physical violence and emotional abuse. Took a long time to recover.

Cool thread, stay strong and be kind to other people

when I was 12 my mum slapped me so I punches her. She called my dad and he said he was going to beat the shit out of me when he got home from work. I locked myself in my room and when he came home he was like ordering me to open it and I sort of spazzed out and ended up smashing every window in the house, breaking my dads arm, etc

So good fren! Kekus maxim!

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