>Be Me >25 Year old worthless piece of shit >Have a hot wife >That's all I've got going for me
>Have job at Walmart >Am a "Customer Host" >This means I'm one of those assholes that stand at the doors and check receipts >Normally this isn't that bad >Only really look at receipts of people that I think are stealing >Happens maybe once or twice a day >Honestly, I'm just there to look like I own the place >Just a deterrent so people don't run out the door with shit
>One day we get these stupid fucking phone looking things. >We're supposed to use them to scan the barcode on the receipt and then scan the item we're checking. >Makes our job easier, so fuck it.
>About a month goes by >New handhand shit is actually useful. >Catching a lot of theft I normally wouldn't
>Boss gets an e-mail >Her boss tells her that we now have a quota >have to scan 1,000 receipts per week >You have got to be fucking kidding me.jpg
>Fuck it, fine.
>Start scanning any unbagged item >Don't hit 1,000 for three weeks straight >Boss starts watching us on the in-store cameras to find out who isn't doing their job
>Literally everyone but me is doing fuck-all >One girl is actually just watching Netflix on her phone the whole day >U wat m8
>Meeting happens >If we don't hit 1,000 next week, write-ups will happen >Have a good one-on-one with my boss where she tells me to just keep doing what I'm doing. >My job is safe
>Another week goes by >We hit 456 >God Fucking Damn It.jpg
>Actually getting pretty frustrated since that means I'm still the only one doing my boring ass job
>A day goes by >Everyone gets written up but me >Still have to pretend I also got written up so I don't get seen as a kiss ass >Boss understands this
>Netflix girl gets fired >Suddenly people are doing their jobs and scanning receipts >We hit our 1,000 for that week >Suddenly we're hitting our goal every week
>Two months go by >New e-mail from boss' boss >New goal: 2,000 a week >Boss is stressed >Whole team is stressed >We just lost a coworker and now we're all expected to double our workload >Suddenly realize I work at fucking Walmart >Suddenly realize my job has gone from catching theft to just scanning people's receipts to harass them as they leave
>Talk to coworkers >They're all looking for other jobs
>Fuck it.jpg
>Tell my boss I'm thinking of quitting >We're friends, so I felt like she would be cool with me venting to her like that >She hits me with "Well, if you want to quit and leave me in a bind, then give me your vest." >She holds her hand out >I try to say that I'll have to call my wife and talk with her first, but the boss interrupts me with a pretty heated tirade about how she has to take shit like this too.
>Call my wife >"Yeah, fuck her. Quit. I'm cool with it." >Find boss >Hand in vest >Fill out separation notice
>Currently taking a one-week vacation before I get my armed security license.
That’s what the fuck you get for shilling for a cooperation and being a kiss ass to a boss that didn’t give two shits about you in the end. You got that girl fired because she was already aware of what took you months to realize. You work at Walmart so nothing you do matters. Get fucked dumbass hope your wife cucks you
Luke Cox
When you find out your hot wife was cheating on you: don’t go crazy.
