God here

God here.
Ask me anything.

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Can you heal me?

Why the fuck have you allowed child drag queens to become a thing?

No ,i don't do mental illness, just physical

Diversity

999

Crap

I thought you were omnipotent

Is Hitler dead?

Ok then, you're healed but only if you believe.

Died six years ago

Shit...

Are you one with everything?

Checked

So this Buddhist monk goes to a hotdog stand and says to the guy.." make me one with everything"

Get it?!!?....

But seriously,,i am one and one is all ,the beginning and the end,the alpha and omega

What's the deal with airline food?

Ikr...!!!

And what's the deal with aquaman???!??

What's up

Ligma bro... Ligma.

Qs

Why do you keep fucking me over on a daily basis? I want my hair back. And my eyesight. And my thyroid. And from now on, when you make a man, try to do better than 5'9" with oily skin and an overbite. Over and out.

Why you made me unable to have gf?

I gave you free will.
You could have chosen to eat better, exercise more, and learn to love yourself

Fake pic

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Yeah,, that was me back in the day

I did you a favor.
Thank me later

You were ripped, what happened got busy with work or just enjoying retirement?

this is blasphemy and the true God takes it very seriously. repent and believe

I am the beginning and the end you mong.

Why'd you create 'groids?

>enjoying retirement
No chance of that.
Running everything is a logistical nightmare and a twenty four seven deal.

Wasn't me user.
It was that faggot Lucifer being a smart ass

Why don’t you ask for help? Like this guy for instance, who is he? Maybe he could help

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Why did my best friend have to do it? I know they suffered immensely due to being trans and being depressed af, but it still sucks that they had to anhero by train. Doesn't she know much pain it would have caused us, especially me? I know I was there in her last ditch effort cry of help, and I'll always regret that.

Thanks for listening God.
Sincerely a budding alcoholic.

Lotto numbers?

why the fuck did the new tool album not live to expectations?

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I wasn't there not was. Typo. Fuck.

Apollo?
The sun "god" ?
Please....

Why do people have to have faith in a book, why not send an angel or two down to earth so we can have some undeniable proof and dont have to question anything anymore

12 23 9 42 33

God wouldn't create such a garbage thread.

An heroing is the other guys department.

Jew record label wanted commercial hits

Last time i sent someone you nailed him to a cross

You would still question it

No shit you idiot.

even without that they always sounded pretty much the same since ænima, i wish they never did all those stupid bullshit drugs and get obsessed with the stupid fuckin fibonacci sequence

he didn't choose the overbite/height part though

Was jesus really your son or was he just a delusional jew who was told he was special all his life to help cover up his mom cheating on her husband?

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I think it’s about time that you finally address the J question.

Love thyself as you are.

Is it possible for You to punch Yourself up Your own Holy Tits that You have to go to the bathroom?

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Change the subject please

Yeah, happens alot

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What can you tell me about SCP 343?

Answer!!

Can God be convicted of rape?

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Lmao fair enough.

Ok. If you're God, then tell me: What's in my pocket?

Can you please send me a nice christian girl? Thanks God.

rosebud

How can you get me to cause genocide in Russia?

when is the 2nd coming hapening

Hello there, shitizen Krane

tommorrow

hah you're not wearing pants, trick question

Mine already happened today :)
Probably gonna get a 3rd before work.

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It already happened, but since everyone is an atheist nowadays, they discredit every single miracle so nobody noticed. Plus, whenever he told people to be cool everyone told him to fuck off and mind his own business.
Sadly, Jesus II died of a cardiac arrest 5 minutes after he accidentally Yea Forums

why God? Why????

Its my smart phone .
I left it on earth accidentally and they found it.
It just enjoys fucking with people and keeps telling them that its god.

Lint

Remember that one time when you were 14?
October it was , a Tuesday.
You shouldn't have done it.

Actually I have a bar of chocolate.
Lindt.
Close enough.

Let the Chechnyans and Ukrainians take care of this

this. God?!?!

why did you make little girls sexy, but we're not allowed to sex them?

When and how will I die?

Can you make seagulls harder, better, faster, stronger ?

are u nigga god

Was John Moses Browning a prophet and is the 1911 truly a holy pistol? I want to ensure that I'm worshipping properly

best/favorite episode of A Pup Named Scooby Doo ?

Y are u on Yea Forums God?

..........

And like a repeat of what happened 2000 years ago....god has abandoned us again.

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Cause you faggots are asking all sorts of faggoty things

How does it feel to be the biggest mass-murderer in the history of the World?

what am i wearing right now? I want the exact colour of my clothes

Are you ever gonna stop tormenting me?

Blue top
Black pants

No.
Now fuck off

Ask Hitler

U wot, fag??

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Just saying hi dad,
thanks for all you have given.
Have a good one, peace.

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Shut up before i turn you into a newt.

Hey Jr.

Ok so tell me, is satan really a dick? Or is he like kind of a cool dude?

retard you know shit about history

DO IT FAGGOT

A newt??

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When is the meth going to be good again?

>being this new
blue shirts are on mondays

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one day you will unite with the holy body of Christ and live as one with Our Father. Today is not that day

*snaps*
try it again

what is my mission

Will the Messiah arrive the next decade?

don't trust this faker

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will continue to pray for this

O lord, bless this thy hand grenade. That with it, thou mayst blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.

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Why niggers? Was it satan?

My mums an alcoholic and the doctor is prescribing her codeine pain killers. I'm scared she's addicted to them. What do?

God please make me 6 feet tall within the next three years.