You've been given a time machine from some other time, it is ready to use and capable of being everywhere and anytime...

You've been given a time machine from some other time, it is ready to use and capable of being everywhere and anytime. Where will you be and why?

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Give it to Hitler for reverse engineering and tell him literally everything the allies and commies are going to do because of the filthy kikes

Go back in time and take over hitlers identity. Wait for the previous poster to show up. Now I have all of the time machines and an army.

Now I send my army to fight the real battle. Mars 2099: the last stand for mankind.

Actually, I need to take the time machine back in time and steal toilet paper from myself. I suspect this has already happened. Paradox or time loop?

I'd go back 66m years ago and bring back two pregnant Velociraptors and once their eggs hatched, set them loose on the Nazi's.

Go forward in time to where genetic engineering is perfected. Then go back in time and genetically modify Tyrannosaurs so that they can think like humans, then load up 3 of them and have them crash the Nuremberg Rallies and start eating Nazi's while Leni Riefenstahl films the whole thing in posterity. Maybe even make a stop when Leni was a little girl and teach her how to invent the BetaMax tape so we have better quality of the Tyrannosaurs eating Nazi's.

I've had a good life, I don't really want to.live another one. I'd go back to when there were T Rexs running around just to see one. Would probably die pretty quickly but meh, worth it.

go back to my conception and stop it from happening just to see if the grandfather's paradox is real

Time machine has a paradox fuse. Blows if you try to break time!

You realize two velociraptors versus a nation of armed people would not fare well right? People have been killing dangerous animals for a long time.

I would catalog the reverse chronology of my nemesis.

Every place they lived, schools and stores they visit, every outing with friends.

I would dress the same, everyday, and appear at or near them, like an NPC in the background.

Just far enough and frequently enough for them to recognize me.

I would do this until we finally arrived at the time they met their end, at which point, I would time-jump back a few hours and speak to them.

I would offer them an ultimatum; get brutally fucked by me, and I will intervene and spare their life, or "nature takes its course".

Someone nvented a symbol to rally behind. Congratulations, you joined a cult!

He calls you a faggot and shoots you in the throat.

He knew he had a stalker and decided to take action rather then be a victim. Congrats, you ded.

IN ORDER

>instead of buying a shitty ar, get an fal clone
>try pesto early
>tell my 14 yo self that YES YOU SHOULD TRY TO GET GF WHILE YOU'RE NOT FRIENDZONED FUCK
>tell my mother to not be a cunt after like fuckin 2013
>inform my father that we'll be on the brink of civil war by 2019, prepare
>tell whoever made the first hentai "that shit slaps"
>invent french fries in america FIRST
>invest in bitcoin
>fuck over hitler, mao, stalin, lenin, ho chi minh, and any other socialist/commie i missed in any way i could
>steal a military issue m1 carbine and a fuckton of other unicorn guns i want cause /k/
>FFW mars 2553, see if Elon actually nuked mars
And finally
>go back to 2005 and nuke hollywood because they suck

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>>go back to 2005 and nuke hollywood because they suck

I'd go back to 1969 and tell Charlie Manson to send his girls to Quentin Tarrantino's mom's house instead. Would have saved myself $12 on that fuckin movie.

kill turing and einstein.
enigma code goes unsolved and no atomic bomb.

user is based af

fuck that. imma get me some cat girls

Jokes on both of you, the last stand for mankind was in WW1.

[Spoiler] mankind lost [/spoiler]

no way, that was good shit. also what theater are you going to? 12 neetbux? Awful pricing, go somewhere else if you can

Cat girls that fuck like Tyrannosaurs?

nah, the greatest generation (WW2) fucked up the ENTIRE generation of kids, resulting in our fucked up, weak ass world today.

W H A T ? don't fuck tyrannosaurs that ain't cool nigga

I'd also take the genetic modification technology from the future back to 1963 and modify Brad Pitt's mom's egg so that Brad was a Downie.

Would have made "Inglorious Basterds" so much more entertaining - in fact, it pretty much would have improved my enjoyment of every Brad Pitt film.

To the library of Alexandria before it was burned and make copies of all the important scrolls

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Rape a bitch then go back a day.

aw shit. do the same to fuckinuuuuuuuuuhhhhh

Taylor Swift and Cardi B.

chaotic good. nice post

"First rule of Fight Club... I forgot. What is Fight Club? Fight with a club?"

Downie Brad Pitt in "Lets fight in a Club"

What would you deem important?

Too late, they're already downies - they just hide it with makeup.

>bwad

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AW SHIT YOU FUCKIN KILLED EM

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Rape and escape

Go back to the day before Freddie Mercury got aids and let him fuck me instead

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Wake up nigga. The reason behind all that is communism, had england not been little bitch, we would have had an an entire Imperial Germany, and a pissed Kaiser Wilhelm II at its helm when the communists took root in Russia and murdered the Tsar (Wilhelm’s cousin).

You think he’d have let that pass? Nah, he wouldn’t and it literally would have been England, Germany and France vs Commie Russia.

It would have been a glorious end to communism EVER taking root in Europe

but what about my catgirl idea

Fight grub
Ingrorus basta
Sen
Droy
Wowo C
Ocean reven

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I believe the question is, "When will I be?" ;^)

I'd destroy it immediately.

Go back to March of 1865, show Lincoln a video of what niggers are like in 2019.

Convince him to ship all of them back to the darkest part of Africa.

Shoot John Wilkes booth in the dick one night while he's on stage, so Lincoln can finish shipping out all the niggers.

Go forward to the Tsar Bomba, steal it, go back to Africa, 1866 where all the niggers are congreated into one spot, set the timer on the Tsar Bomba, go forward, make a quick stop to fuck Ann Margaret when she was 18, Raquel Welch at 19, and take Taylor Swifts virginity at 12.

Zoom back to my desk, and log onto Yea Forums to see what else is fucked up in the world that needs fixing while listening to Tay-Tay sing songs about her destroyed puss.

made me kek. gracias.

>shoot john wilkes booth in the dick

top kek, based dickcrusher

>take Taylor Swifts virginity at 12

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that's funny. Can i get a non-tard translate though? I'm not fluent

Go to Africa and introduce them to the common cold

why so much africa nigger hate here

We don't "hate" niggers, we just wish they stayed in their natural habitat and left us to our own natural habitat - other peoples land.

>can't catch a cold in hot climate
Retard

You're the retard. You don't have to be cold to catch a cold.

silent generation invented vibrators tho

then you should travel to kill slavers

fuck vibrators.

First I'd focus on what they think is important. Next anything very old or from far away. Next any technology or science documents. Next everything else. Lastly unimportant records.

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make every actor in that movie retarded except the guy who plays Hans Landa

the downie fight club was just be downies rolling in a mcdonalds ball pit

WcDondal's bahl pid

snash

mee jo back

go back in time and ask humans how they lived 900 years takw back a huge database of their technology, and take the smartest minds with me to expand the civilization across the galaxy. and ask jesus how the fuck he naruto ran across water ,

taking the metuselahpill i see

I'd stop the burning of the Library of Alexandria. Go check out ancient Egypt. Save the gastric brooding frog, stellars sea cow, golden toad, dodo, and thylacine from extinction. Maybe fuck a bunch of cuties and become the new Genghis Khan. Maybe even go back and rape Australopithecus to speed up human evolution.

Also bring back a bunch of Lepospondyli and other animals for shits and giggles.

Go back in time to where there aren't any other humans around yet, and finally live in peace. Or just go 10 years forward for the same, whichever is easier to set up in the machine.