I don’t know why I’m so depressed. I wish I wasn’t. I’ve got a decent life with a nice woman, a job, a house...

I don’t know why I’m so depressed. I wish I wasn’t. I’ve got a decent life with a nice woman, a job, a house...I just don’t know. Really the only thing that keeps me here is her; she would be devastated if she came in to find me dead.

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Meh she’ll get over it

I’ll help her forget

you need a new goal in life to keep you going.

Those arent the things that make you truly happy OP. As much as society has told you otherwise, unless you are a mindless drone you'll never be happy with the normie combination of material things.

Back of the line, faggot.

Oh come on. We both know you can't leave your basement without needing to stop halfway up the stairs, dude.

smoke dope

I’m in school getting my PhD. That’s why I said “job” and not “well paying job”. They give you a stipend and it’s sorta like just going into work every day and doing chemistry for a living.

I do smoke dope occasionally

It’s one of those things that when you write my life out on paper it’s happy, shows promise and concern for the future, etc

But I’m just not happy. It’s not like I’m sad either. I just sorta feel nothing.

All that mines nothing. The only cure is the peaceful silence of death. If you fear death,then take psychiatric chemicals to alter your mind and who you are. Life is meaningless. Our so called love one's temporarly mourn, they continue, and you are forgotten.

It's called conditioning. The military and educational system does it all the time.

Thank you Sergei the ESL philosopher, but I just don’t know if your advice is sound.

Everybody tells me I’m brilliant and I just stopped feeling that way a while ago. I feel like it’s at least partially feeling inferior for the first time in my life. I’m clever, but some of these motherfuckers are so crazy smart.

I think it’s just that I contextualized myself as smart, and I’m not. If I just shift my perception to being stupid, it’s amazing that I can research at all.

You might be right. It does feel analogous to that. But in academia they don’t tell you that’s what they’re doing, and if you’re a tard like me it just feels like I don’t belong.

Thanks Yea Forums. I feel a little better actually.

Maybe something wired wrong in your head? Or maybe it's the pressure of maintaining all that and the fear of having it all fall apart because of some random or careless thing. I feel the same way sometimes.

youtube.com/watch?v=Lzw6nRnaQG0

In academia original thought and demonstration of new paradigms is rewarded. It is literally the opposite of the rote learning of mandatory education. If you just learn rote you will achieve shit grades at university and if you just repeat old news for a PhD you will end up with an MPhil.

Depression may be caused by hormones inbalance in your body (low levels or lack of serotonine). It can be caused by too much stress (high levels of cortisol surpress serotonine; mby you don't deal with even little stress too well), not enough sleep/vitamin D/magnesium or serotonine metabolism dysfunction. Go seek some help to figure it out.

Kill yourse!f faggot

Same but i have no money.