Just got a job at a local Subway as a manager...

I could be an idiot fucking an 18 year old tho

>He thinks girls like subway managers

This

> "Boy, that Jared guy sure had some good ideas though, right?"

I'm a pretty good looking guy fir my age and the girls who work for me are very open about their sex lives already

I sent this to subway corporate lol enjoy your mandated hr lecture

Subway corporate has no power over me, Subway is a franchise

Plenty of opportunities to make light sexual innuendo, "meaty footlong", etc. Jus be sure not to direct it directly at yourself or any particular girl. Just general silliness like "Man, it's tough having a meaty footlong in your face 8 hours a day.". "Roast beef covered in mayo, reminds me of prom night!"

If you're going to make cringy dad jokes just make sure you find a girl who's into that. Some of them are so you might not be out of luck

This is terrible advice

not this op
definitely not this...

Anyone who takes this seriously deserves to be a sexually frustrated, middle-aged Subway manager.

It's hard to denote sarcasm in writing.

You are a 30 year old working at subway, probably not going to happen. Just going to get fired and charged with sexual harassment.

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>30
>middle aged

Don't be a faggot. Score pussy.

Yeah and I'm trying to figure out how to get laid without that happening

This is good. Make a footlong and then hold it by your crotch like a weiner and go "hey, any of you ladies hungry?"

Or take two slabs of roast beef and hold it up your face and pretend your munching some poon. They'll get the picture user.

Coordinate after hours wet t shirt contests but with mayo. Winner gets a free premium 6 inch, compliments of you

You won't. I was 16 and a 30ish year old waitress claimed I was sexually harassing her because I had complained to my boss that her sister was a shit employee. I almost got fired, she admitted she lied and got not punishment for doing so.

Honest advice?

Be professional. Be a good boss. Be somewhat removed from their "grunt work" circle. Be polite, but not too friendly. Don't dip your pen in the company ink.

>the good old days of the stamps and free subs

>that guy from school that worked at Subway and would steal a whole roll of stamps.
>everyone at school got a free sub

Just pull their pants down while they're making a sandwich for a customer and just eat their ass like a starving African child. Your boldness and bravery will make them feel an irresistible urge to carry your seed and they will fuck you right there on top of all the vegetables

DON'T EVER MIX BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE !!!

Management should never fraternize with employees for any reason; especially pleasurable ones.

If you wanna fuck with dumb young cunts go to a nightclub to test your fate with ladyluck...

lol fuck it who cares

> scream into parking lot in 2003 dodge neon
> kick open the front door
> freshly ironed subway uniform
> Herculean 30yr old dad bod
> Affordable but practical Wal-Mart lunchbox
> girls stare in awe and wonder
> the jingle of your manager keys cascades around the room as you strut toward them
> vault over the counter with moderate effort
> “foot-longs on special today ladies”
> girls are visibly shaken
> one starts quivering and frothing at the mouth
> wink at her and stride into your tiny office
> lions den baby
> “got your paychecks, sugartits”
> they’re all for $69.00
> no tax
> Girls are literally gushing, one falls into the new stock of romaine lettuce
> bust out a “Wet Floor” sign from your private collection
> movements so fluid from 30yrs of elite subway training
> “eat fresh ladies”
> slap cock on the counter

Guaranteed 48hr sex marathon.

I think you need to stick to your own age group boomer

you've got slabs of roast beef. why do you need girls? just heat some up in the microwave and go to town.

18 year olds don't fuck old guys unless they have lots of money.

And yes, a 30 year old looks like a fucking grampa to an 18 year old. If you're 30 you aren't cool or sexy unless you have a big boy job and some cash.

In your face? You mean hands?

If your the guy speaking say hands,
Then say it's almost as hard as having it in pants.

Tell the girls they can get 2 hour lunch break, if they help you relax from work during it, in a back room.

Start massage shoulder/back.

Move from there, turn heat up in restrant.
If your daring, wear one upper clothing, 1 shirt, no jacket or vest or anything,
And take off your boxers so just pants on.
Also make sure you see their id's.

Hopefully you can get them to wear less, or relax more with you in a back room.
Might help if you have good size back roon with couch/small bed or some soft stuff to lay down and sit on.

You should probably move slow, and wait a few weeks till they are used to working there, before going to far or fast.

But one day,
Back room, girls and you massaging each other to help relax for next shift (like usual at this point)

You say the girls have nice bodies, but you've seen a ton of naked ones like them before and doesn't affect you.

If you can move to that point while massaging
Then whipping your dick out and poking them with it while you massage their butts and waist wont be too far.

If they notice, put your big dick in their face as you stroke their panties and say sorry.
And ask them what they want.
And say theres bonus pay.

Anyways theres your fap rp, or half.
Good luck if you get cops.

Don’t shit where you eat bro. It’s not worth it. Let’s say you do hook up with one of them, their tiny 18 yo mind can’t comprehend a casual hookup and they’ll get upset and claim you harassed them or some shit

Thanks for the laugh user

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Call corporate and ask for some pussy. Tell them you don't want kinderpuss cause that got them in trouble last time. So they should come through.

Simple: You got booze. They don't. Have a party at your place after you close every Saturday night. Bonus points for jacuzzi. Buy a giant box of condoms and a Magic Wand vibrator.

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That's the best case scenario. If one really gets pissed off, they can accuse him of almost anything. Once he admits to being a 30 year old banging his employees, they'll use that break him.

>the jingle of your manager keys cascades around the room

We got ourselves fucking Shakespeare over here

Be helpful, stand there doing nothing and not caring. The opportunity always comes at random moments when you don't search for it. (pr maybe I'm superstitious)

In seriousness this is how a lot of retards get fired. If the owner or senior management whatever finds out a middle manager is banging younger staff you'll be canned.

It's pretty common actually, I've seen it a few times. Dumb new girls fuck the boss to get special favours at work. Miss time or whatever and still get paid. Boss lets them do nothing all day. The owner of the place finds out eventually and fired the supervisor right away.

Yeah, such an important job to lose... How will he ever recover?

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Every time I ate Subway I would get the power dumps, green liquid shooting out of my ass.

Be nice and funny.
Find the poor one, manipulate hours.
Let them make the first move.

Pursuing a relationship is a lot different from forcing someone into a relationship with "power"

Ask them if they want "mayonnaise" on their "pulled pork"

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>hot

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Zyzz you MOTHERFUCKER I knew you weren't dead!

this is just screaming #metoo
just not a good idea

I hate how their sandwich toppings are upside down. Put the fucking vegetables on the top and the God damned meat on the bottom!

You're a fucking pussy retard

The easiest way to a teen girl's heart = Buy her alcohol.

I've met so many douchebags with girlfriends and the only reason why the girl is with the guy is because free alcohol.