I am an airport security screener. Ask me anything

U seen any people wearing sex toys in the x-ray imaging?

Weirdest thing you've seen

You ever had smelly people you needed to body frisk?

We do not use body scanners. But we see about a sex toy per day inside bags.
A full harness for hardcore BDSM and all sorts of gadgets needed for pleasure in an oversize bag. The couple was very open about it, but boy, if they had some extreme shit in that bag.

Yeah, happens quite a lot. You get used to it.

Whathappens if you steal shit?

Depends on what kind of things we "steal".
Let's start with things that we already removed from baggages, so it's not fully on stealing.
For things like knives, screwdrivers and other thinks like that, nobody cares. Just don't do it in front of a supervisor.
For food and drinks it's a bit different, you can get in trouble for taking them. As before, just don't get caught by a supervisor, but they are much more strict about this kind of things.
The consequences for both of them depends on who will catch you. You can get by with just a telling off, a written warning or being fired.
For stuff that you actually steal, no one will tolerate that. You will get fired, camera footage will be seen to find the thief, you will be sued and you won't ever be able to work in any airport around the world, for any position.

Whoa brutal

Have u ever touched someones cock cuz u tought it was something suspicious

Well, they do it because it's really easy to steal anything. You have no idea how many people forget things into the trays at the security check. We found Rolex, laptops, phones, plain money, wallets, bags, jewelry. Basically everything. One they forget it, we could steal it and just say the we didn't find it, we could easily steal over 5000$ worth of things every month. So that's why the punishment is so brutal.

Did you find any drugs and did you ever had to arrest semeone or tase him

We do not deal with drugs. I have found drugs in many occasion. Usually, if it's a small amount of a light drug, like marijuana, I will not say it to anyone and will leave it to him. If you call the police for a bit of weed, they will laugh in your face. I have found people wearing bust with drugs, in that case we will call the police and they will take care of it.
We do not have any kind of firearm or weapon on us, only the police has them. I've never seen them use it, but sometimes they had to intervene with force, maybe punching someone.

Yes. It happened not long ago. A guy in sweatpants passed through the metal detector next to mine, where my colleague (female) was working. She noticed a weird bulge in the pocket, so she asked the guy to show her what was in his pocket. He said that he had nothing, but she insisted that she could see something weird. After he showed his pockets were empty, she asked me if I could control the guy. As I reached the crotch area, I felt something near the right pocket and, when asked what it was, he made a face basically saying "well, it's exactly what you think", so I told her, but she insisted that I took him to a remote room to check if it was actually it. Well, turned out this guy was Chris Diamond, and he wasn't lying about what it was. He was pretty cool with it, since he saw that I wasn't an asshole, like my colleague was, we both laughed about it. After I told her that it actually was his cock she blushed red and didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. Pic related.

Attached: Chris_Diamond.jpg (240x400, 80K)

i guess you must be into it to dig it

Well, I found out that many people let themselves go much more during a vacation, especially in the sexual context. You would not believe how many females carry with them super sexy dresses/bikini/heels or have lot of sex related items, like lube, condoms or dildos. Many are also quite open about it, during the bag inspection (usually lube is bigger than 100 ml, so we have to throw it) many will spontaneously start talking, after we find some particular object, about how they had a lot of fun and will tell some of the adventures that they had during the vacation. Many times they will ask me if a particular thing it's something cultural of if they just went with guys with similar taste.

How did you get this job? Any special degree or qualification? How much does it pay?

enjoy your x ray cancer, no matter what they tell you, your gonna get it, is karma for the shit you do

I was searching for a job and they just put an announcement online on a job-finding site, I replied to it and they called me back.
You must have at least a diploma with a score of no less than 75/100, and you must have an English knowledge of at least B1, basically it means that you can understand and be understood by an english speaker, native or non native. After that you will endure a 1 month intensive course when they will teach you the laws and how to do the checks, then you will do an exam with the equivalent of the FAA and the police.
The pay isn't bad and isn't good. We are talking about 1500$ monthly, equating to 9,5$ an hour, which is a standard pay here.
I will enjoy my cancer also for you, even if I won't get it for the X-ray machines. I don't think I do anything bad, if you could just explain it, maybe we can have a good discussion.

Do you ever crawl through the Xray Machine Naked for fun ?

No, but sometimes when someone stands in front of me to wave at their bf/gf or parents I will wave at them too, just for fun. Or, when inspecting a bag, take a random item, like a bra, a pair of shoes, or cookies and say that they can't take it with them, and them watch their confused reaction. Obviously I will tell that I was joking and leave everything into the bag, I won't actually throw the things away.

Abusing power. Making threats. Discriminate on people.

Nice one really. I have to investigate you.

Be sure to include that I also sneeze while working, so that they will surely fire me.