Tell me your worst sexual experience

>pick up 8/10 cutie at bar
>take her back to my place
>start fooling around
>pull down her panties
>start sucking on her penis
>she tells me “OP, I’m really a guy”
>tell her I’m not gay and throw her out of bed
Sorry, I don’t fuck dude

>Bi curious fag for years
>fresh out of long term relationship
>work up nerve to go on grindr
>meet up with twinkish bottom at his hotel
>he kisses me
>he has stubble
>I gag
>he trys to succ
>cant get hard at all
>I fucking nope right out of there

well guess I ain't a top. Still curious about getting my butt pounded tho, I love anal but fags always want me to top and I'm super picky

>When she put the condom on without leaving a space causing cumming to go in reverse somehow and be painful
Never mind; on day you'll actually get to touch a girl. In the meantime lurk moar, but protip: don't use Yea Forums for sex techniques

"Another wasteland settlement needs your help"

>Get in bed with nigger

Could've just stopped there

>ex gf has nice pussy n body
>lying on bed
>she jerks me off
>wants me to force her into bj
>ultra soft dom
>did it, a giant turnoff
>gf gets tired
>I masturbate just to cum while she does a dance for me
came just to pity her
she was also a bad sucker

Probably one of the times she puked everywhere during a blowjob or one of the times she shat the bed and ruined my sheets during anal. Such a terrible girlfriend but it's not easy finding one who will let you treat her so horribly and stick around. I cheated on her with a redhead then showed her pics, she was really upset. A couple weeks later I made her wear a red wig and cute new corset, told her she needs to be thinner like [other girl]. She cried but did it. I told her other girl doesn't do anal so I might keep her around for a while longer.

When I was 17 I was about to fuck a girl from my block, I bought a sexy thong to wear for her, she got kinda turned off when she saw it, and she really wanted to be on top. I laid in bed on my back as she came into the bed and she kneed me hard in the nuts, said she gets off kicking guys in the balls before sex.
So yeah it fuckin hurt and I never got with her again

>I masturbate just to come while she does a dance for me

That might be the saddest thing I've ever heard

Yeah that's fuckin horrible, poor guy

KEK. Sounds like grade school shit.

>get a girl in massage parlor
>start shower and undressing
>i got a boner
>i start to lick pussy
>wtf.jpeg
>smell like asshole
>cant get a hard on anymore , even shes sucking me
>finally decided not to cum waste of money
>awkward feeling i get a hiv
>take hiv test 30 days after, result came negative
>worst fuck of my life

She wipes forward. Get shit in her pussy.

Depressing asf, if a guy couldn't cum for me I wouldn't dance for him hahaha

Tits and time stamp or gtfo

Horny after work drinks.
Stumble toward train station in seedy part of town.
Walkup brothels still open.
I walk up.
‘Sexy Japanese Model’. Sounds enticing. Climb stairs. Knock on door.
Escorted into room by ancient Chinese farm lady.
Sit on greasy bed in room that smells of piss and cum and cockroaches.
Young lady be with you in minute okay?
Okay.
Ten minutes pass. Have sobered up considerably. Tell myself that it’s okay, someone like Lucy Liu will soon be slobbering over my cock.
Can hear yelling in Chinese.
Bangbangbang. Someone is getting fucked hard upstairs.
Chinese farm lady’s fat, cross-eyed niece walks in.
Sucky? Twenty?
Hand over the money. Feeling as disappointed as is humanly possible.
She leaves.
Another five minutes pass.
She returns. Takes off bra. Tits drop to her hips.
I remove trousers without enthusiasm.
She rolls condom over my flaccid member. She smells of Lynx body spray.
Ten minutes of unenthusiastic sucking follow.
You not come?
No.
You want finish?
Yes.
We get dressed in silence.
I leave.

Attached: 9E50743B-99F8-4268-82AE-3AB6C750CCAD.jpg (800x1032, 93K)

I mean, she tried.
maybe from all the masturbation I have high standards and last long, good for fucking vaginal, but bj, hj, paizuri takes forever
really liked that girl

false teeth cut my bellend wide open

holy fuck what a nightmare this kinda shit keeps me from sinking low enough to attempt this shit thanks for keeping me away Yea Forums

A friend of mine and myself really liked each other's gfs. We were 16, horny, stupid and drunk. This all happened during a camping trip. I proposed we talked the the girls into fooling around with the other one for a night. It took forever to convince them separately but surprisingly enough when asked together they remained silent and just looked at one another kind of awkardly smiling. We took that as a yes and so I went in his tent with his girl and he went with mine. We started making out and the rush of it was awesome. Now, my girl hadn't put out with me yet, always said she wasn't ready. So I figured she would say the same to my friend. And then it wouldn't be fair for me to have sex with his gf if i knew he wouldn't be able to do the same with mine. So we didn't.

The next morning we were all hung over and awkward. Then i jokingly said "well, that sure was worth the blue balls". My friend was really surprised and said "what do you mean?". I said "I mean after a whole night making out". "You mean you didn't... ?" "YOU DID?"

Then I turned to see my girl and she just stuck her head in the blanket. And that's the story of the worst trade deal, maybe ever.

Fuck off Preston, lazy nigger, why don't you do some work for a change?

Wow that's sad

You got what you deserved tbh

Why's that?

>me being played by me as myself
>meet grill on tinder
>go to grill's house for Netflix and shill
>she turns on MST3k
>noice
>smokes me out
>notice
>things are going well and she asks if I want to go back to her bedroom
>yup
>I'm tipsy and high at this point...
>asks if I've ever vaginally and anally fisted a chick at the same time
>nope, but yolo mode activates
now I'm not religious but for me when I was wrist deep with both hands shuffling my knuckles together through a thin flap of skin I immediately regretted all of my life choices and felt like god was punishing me. I can never undo where my hands have been. My hands now have ptsd and begin flailing wildly at the sound of flatulence.

Lmfao this happened to me when I was getting her from behind

>be me
>talking to a girl in the bar named Beth
>cute 31 years old with 5'3"
>be a gentleman to her, go to the store to get smokes, ask if she wants to come, open her door, she likes this
>later on in the night she asks to come back to my place and fuck, says she wasn't interested but I was nice and she would like to fuck
>Hellyeah.jpg
> take her home, even though she's cute I have trouble getting hard due to alcohol, smash her for a bit auth s semi, dick finally stands up
> eat her pussy and ass for a bit, stick my finger in her ass and finger her
>turdondeck.net
> get shit on my finger
> what the fuck do I do now, wipe it on my shirt, room smells like shit now, start to lose boner
>she's into extreme biting fir some reason, tell her to chill out with the biting because it is fucking painful, like not even playing trying to bite a fuckin chunk out of me
>she won't stop biting, lose boner, room smells like shit
> get dressed she calls cab I tell her I don't want to see her again, she leaves

> be me
> two weeks later I run into her at my friends house as he was dating her friend
> she apologizes for biting, I say ok, sober this time, we start making litt in his living room
> we're probably going to fuck in the living room, buddy next to us on couch starts getting hot and heavy with his gf
> alright, living room foursome.jpg
> fucking bitch bites me again, i tell her to stop AGAIN, we make out a bit
>She bites my ear hard as fuck!!!
>I kick her across the living room into his TV, scream at this bitch "wtf is wrong with you?"
>friend tries to calm me down, tell everyone to fuck off and leave
>never saw her again, her and friend never come back to that bar again, I tell my buddy who was the main bartender to 86 them

>I cheated on her with a redhead then showed her pics, she was really upset. A couple weeks later I made her wear a red wig and cute new corset, told her she needs to be thinner like [other girl]. She cried but did it.

God DAMN hahahahaha

>be me
>do anal with gf in shower
>somethingswrong.gif
>pull out
>dick is caked in shit
we stopped there and I cleaned up, luckily I was already in the shower

Tales from the trailer park.

Phone postin

bump.

Attached: tyson-no.jpg (662x471, 25K)

not extacly what you asked but here goes:
>be me, twenty five virgin
>met this girl that was 2 years below me in primary school when walking back from work
>meet her few more times in basicly the same place.
>exchange numbers, start texting, finally meet at the movies.
> it goes slowly but ok (because of my autism)
>ff few weeks, her parents are outa town, she invites me over to spend 2 days.
>coolzies.jpg
>first night i sleep on matress on a floor
>second night she invites me to her bed more strongly than before.
>whynot.wmv
>took off my pants and hit the bed
>she crawls over and all flirty and asks if she can take off my undies
>thought she was fucking with me so said ok without giving it much thought
>she proceeds to remove undies
>autismoverload.bat
>i grab her hand, stop her and mumble some inane excuse about being tired and shit
>she tried some moves under the blanket but i wasnt very cooperative (still didnt have a clue whats going on) so she got annoyed and went to sleep
we lost contact soon after (every time we would chat it would end with some stupid argument over nothing. took me like 6 years or so to realize that this pretty hot chick i liked alot wanted to fuck me. hit 34 last week and still virgin to this day. honestly i wouldnt believe any of this shit if i read it somwhere, but its extacly how it went nearly a decade ago. fuck my life...

C'mon dude how do you fuck up that bad at 25? Are you sure you're not secretly a gay?

Kek

just fuck the girl, dude, plz

Dude what is wrong with you or your girlfriend? You need to clean an ass before fucking it, does she not know what a douche is? Or taking a shit beforehand?

come on, man up !
I like to play the amateur gynecologist, on accasions.

Hooked up with an Asian milf and later found out she gave me gonorrhea.

Exactly the reason I never want to try anal. Just wasn't meant for that

I am concerned too

Impulse, we weren't gonna but then we got horny in the shower. Go figure.

being a cuck

pretty sure. i dunno man, i wanna cry when i think back at all the retarded shit ive done years back. all the opportunities ive wasted. its so fucking dumb it aint even funny. i managed to get really close to virtually every girl i ever liked and always faild to seal the deal. my only sexual experiences are from 15 yo girl (i was 20 at the time) which basicly forced herself on me and nearly raped me. every little thing weve done like kiss, oral, even touching her privates was initiated by her. she wanted to fuck me i said no (said she was too young, but actually was just scared). had like 5 other opportunities to lose my v card with 3 other girls, wasted it all. like i said its so fucking dumb it aint even funny at this point...

Start thinking with your dick man I mean damn what're you so afraid of?

>Be 23 and a virgin
>New girl starts at my workplace
>Super easy, 3 people bang her in a matter of weeks
>She starts being flirty with me
>itsfinallymyturn.mp4
>Go round for coffee
>flat smells like semen and condoms
>Make out and she shoves my hand in her pants. Fucking loose for a girl in early 20s
>Her phone keeps ringing during this, like 4 different guys call her in 15 mins
>okayyyyyyyyy
>carry on making out
>Go to the bedroom and get naked, she reaches into drawer with like 500 condoms.
>Brain is screaming Abort! My dick disobeys a direct order and somehow manages to get erect-ish.
>She puts lubricant INSIDE the CONDOM and slides it on
>Rides my dick
>Unblinking whilst she stares at me during the sex
>Hear phone still ringing in other room
>Imagining how many guys this chick has fucked
>Vagina so loose, feel nothing, numb
>Penis shrivels and dies
>I stop her, condom has come off, I am totally flacid
>Saying nothing, I get dressed and leave
>She asks if something is wrong
>I just leave and walk home in the cold.
>The wait for the HIV test results was a nightmare

the banjo string?

Your mother last night

im a fucking ball full of insecurities. i realize its all in my head, but it does not help me to sort this shit out. im between jobs atm bur as soon as this is taken care of im hiting therapy. otherwise ill stay like that till i die. still its pretty fucked up when i think that basicly i wasted all my adult life so far

u gay?

you're literally actually gay and you should accept that, it's not a big deal

Yeah man that's for the best, I'm guessing some shit happened in your childhood to cause all that

>Be loser in freind group
>We are all 17
>Best freind has 10/10 qt gf
>They have a threesome with Chad freind
>I hear about this and joke to her can I be next?
>She says OK, can't believe it
>We all stay over at friends house the next week
>She says I can join them on the mattress downstairs
>I jump in and she is sandwiched between us
>Running my hands all over her
>Amazing body, fondle her pussy and ass
>Kiss her arm, really furry "that's MY arm dude", s-sorry
>Ask if we can kiss (biggest mistake EVER)
>she spins over and makes out with me for 2-3 mins, meanwhile her bf slips in from behind
>He grunts and nuts
>Don't even care about sloppy seconds, ask for my turn
>SUDDENLY, HE IS NOT FEELING TOO COOPERATIVE
>asks her if we can stop
>she begrudgingly agrees
>go upstairs and whack out a King Kong load and go to bed feeling like an idiot.
>Was my one and only chance to fuck a 10/10
>Remember guys in a 3some, he who comes first laughs last.

This... this isnt a fucking thing you fucking virgin faglord

yeah, but funny enough it wasnt single big traumatic event or anything, its many little things that left me emotionally handicaped over the years. for many years i really thought im just a regular kid, very shy but normal. i just hope to start living my life before i hit 40

Sex is like pizza.
Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.
Worst experience?
>Meet an old friend from many, many years ago.
>She was a best bud's wife from like 5 years ago.
>She needs a place to hang for a bit because divorce.
>I invite her to my place. Sex was not on the menu at the time.
>We start talking about old times.
>We are chilling, score some weed.
>She suggests watching a movie.
>Goes to cabinet and pulls out a porno.
>We start watching together, she snuggles up to me on the couch.
>No way to hide the erection now
>The next thing I know she is blowing me while I watch a threesome on the TV
>Raw dog her on the carpet during an anal scene.
>We shut it down in the living room and move to the bedroom
>Fuck the shit out her for 8 months.
>Find out later they aren't divorced.
>He's just a cuck.

You're not autistic, you're completely retarded. Kys

Yeah man I can relate, stuff like highschool and parents really fucked me up, but you'll get better just keep that chin up and push your chest out.

Having to suck off my father when I was a kid.

> having bi-ex that get's turned on by turning on her partner (me)
> one night: gf and me making out intensly
> threesome fantasies coming up again
> gf (missing pussy) fantasizes about common female friends
> gf wants me to show her pics of hot friends and proceed to show me some of her group
> exchanging bikini pics and old saves of friend and female exes (HOT)
> proceeds to show me full on nudes of her big-tiddy punk slut gf (win!! wait she gets nudes of her friend? taking notes for later argument)
> fucking whole night like this, unbelievable intense and intimate *best night ever*

> continuing fantasies in the morning, going more serious about it
> getting dominant (as usual), telling her what i will do, gf plays along, wet af
> tells me what she'd like me to do with her slut friend
> asks her for hard nudes - titt grabbing, spread pussy - we get some *damn HOT F-size tits*
> proceed to hard dirty talk and fucking "with" her friend

suddenly
> gf has regrets, cries violently
> gf being jealous, can't look at me anymore
> gf confessing she cried during sex and wanted to hide it to give me fun *feelsbadman*
> gf confesses she wanted to turn me on but hoped i would find the pics ugly and "choose her" instead
FUCK this romanticized manipulative shit

> months turn her to bitch-mode psycho, doesn't want me to see the friends i showed her (i didn't have nudes, only insta stuff)
> no talking about her friends
> she tries to turn me on like she did, can't and feels bad about it
> sex dies down as she feels second choice (she isnt!!! hottest girl i ever had) and jealousy fucks her up
> goe distant, fucks my buddy

turned to worst night ever...hate bitches not knowing what they want and making you responsible
never regretted a single action like this night, should have blocked her fantasies although this wasn't the first time and wanted to fuck some pussy since years again, just obviously not me getting some as well

Gotta do what ya gotta do

No use in crying

Crying just makes daddy's willy harder

Fucking this chick, once all was said and done she then says she was surprised that I was as long as her black ex and actually thicker.

I then went showered and tested for std even if I wore a condom.

Attached: 1567000146129m.jpg (1024x692, 90K)

>girlfriend and me

Are you fucking stupid?

>Crying just makes daddy's willy harder
That’s actually true

workout and exercise, let the body do the work and shut your mind.

rape

>beta as fuck
>first time with 22
>she is a 5/10, small tits but cute face and nice hair
>everything works
>switch to doggy
>sasquatch-tier back hair
It's a compliment to my resolve I was able to keep a hard on, but went from about to cum 10 minutes in to two hours of closing my eyes.

This user is right. It's "girlfriend and I".

how does it qualify as bad sex ?

Drunk bitch threw up on my dick while she was blowing me on the beach.

greentext pls

>Gotta do what ya gotta do
It’s not like he gave me a choice.

seemingly - never believe a girl it seems.
gotta stress out: it all came from her side, we tried A LOT of things including flasshing strangers, she sending "accidently" pics to strangers, going out see through, public fucking etc. so trying out stuff to extend our horizon wasn't new.
in addition, she fantasized about females since years and loved to have me talk about my experiences and hot women i've been with, we were very open about it and shared our lust together (like her telling me how hot she once was fingered in a bar etc) so...nothing unusual when she started that night again.

seems like she pushed the border too much for her own good and the throwback was deadly

Who names their bar Beth

??? What

thanks user, thats the plan.
spent most of my life doing manual labour, i jog alot, used to train aikido, climb, was pretty serious about mountain biking. i have slim, but athletic build. gotta get back into gym though

Sounds like my ex

You two crackhead niggers, hilarious

this might be the case, yes. ill let the specialist be the judge of that though.

Tits or gtfo

Yes.
He came by and started chatting with me like nothing was happening.
I am thinking, dude I just fucked the shit out of your wife not like 20 minutes ago.
Turns out he became a complete loser. He would score skanks at a local bar.
And that when things got bad.
Go to the doctor and drugs later.
Thank god it was curable.

Hahahaha nice

Didn't happen/10

HA, INCEL

>>be me 25
>> out on the piss with a mate
>> mate sugests we hit the brothel
>>ok
>> 25yo chubby chick
>>good enough
>>get into it she starts riding me
>>on my back arms up
>>FUCKING SHOULDER DISLOCATES!!
>>she dosent know what to do
>>"do you want to go to the hospital?"
>>fuck no
>>relocate shoulder like it was some lethal weapon shit
>>finish up
>>feelsgood.jpg

Not even close to my worst experience, funniest tho.

>>>Frenulum

Lesbian fucked me when both drunk and she was on her period.
I woke up the next morning covered in blood.
But hey wasn't mine and had sex so.

Attached: giphy.gif (245x300, 1.91M)

>27 years old
>christmas 2017
>lonely but horny as fuck after breakage with ex
>searched for a hooker on a tinder-like website
>meetup with a 50 year old milf in her house
>husband, kids are still in the house
>she welcome me at the door in lingerie
>whole neighbourhood could see us
>went upstairs with her in her marriage bed
>fucked her raw without comdom, fucked her hard
>she's submissive as fuck
>fucked her ass raw
>somehow ass bacteria entered my bladder
>chronic prostatitis since then

Guess, that's what i deserve after years of anal porn consumption.

Attached: adafafada.jpg (1910x1000, 159K)

then, your mind blacks out bc of stress, you have to resort to stuff like visualisation.
Mentally visualise what you plan to do with a girl, the most consciously and realistically possible (not jerking off).
Athletes and pilots do it to react the right way when under stress. just train your mind to operate under stress.

ok, official yikes

Again.. How does this qualify as bad sex?

sounds good, ill give it a try. thanks user.

ur mom

care to explain in detail?

what hurt most was i'm sexually VERY open and un-jeaalous, talking openly about all kinds of fantasies and always wanted a wife to share my WHOLE sexuality with (i'm monogamous and faithful, threesome was her idea that i agreed to try out), and she was exactly like that.
we told each other about hot people and fantasies, showed us hot seethrough bitches in public or hot online posts, heck even dared us to do shit involving strangers and fucking afterwards over this afterwards.

i hate jealousy and lying about me feelings which made it impossible to get a longer relationship before (all fake bitches controlled by their insecurities)...
wish she didn't push herself over the border...she even proceeded to send me nude pictures later on, some made by another hot friend, showed me bra-pics of this hot friend and i told her i didn't need this, she really should do only what she's comfortable with,...i got ppublic flahing stuff from her and i could see her feeling uneasy and when in person, she was distant.
i guess she tried tomake it easy and open like before but something in her got really fucked up that night, so she wanted to force it open wiith stuff like this as she knew i like it...it just made her more distant...i had to see her connection towards me burning down and got a lot of "hot" pics that i didn't want or need that document her falling-apart emotions.

women on the internet make me afraid trying iit out again (jealous, morally one-sided, prude in relationship, slut outside of it), i'm afraid i'll never find someone as open and accepting as me again -.-

First time I tried to eat pussy I vomited

Most folks grow up around the time that they realize sex is supposed to be fun, not a contest.

Ah thanks!! Could express it in a friendlier way as english isn't my mother tongue and grammar is my cryptonite, but i'll gladly imrove!

Not worth the risk user.

>Be depressed
>go on tinder and find some slag willing to fuck
>she comes over to my place with cold pizza with 2 slices already taken
>lol ok come in
>we sit down and eat
>she wants to go to bed
>ok
>she is on all fours as i pull down her pants
>she has more hair ON her ass than i have on my chest
>i go limp as silly putty
>can't even get it in her
>send her home and block her

pizza was all right tho

Nah, bi at best and I can admit it to myself, no reason to shout it from the rooftops like a doublefaggot though

Kek

np,I used it to unleash my wife's inner megaslut.
I had to stick to some plans to get her where I wanted, and not just loose my mind once we started fucking.

He is

i broke my penis and ai cant masturbate for three months

>>start sucking on her penis
Literally WHY?

Woooow

Are we supposed to cheer that you threw a 5 3 chick into a television?

Kid, get off your phone and pay attention to your math teacher

Do you not understand autism?

wish you would've died faggot

You stressed yourself about an HIV test after do did use a rubber. Why, Anonadoodle? Why did you do that to yourself.

As for the chick, vaginas are not like holes in drywall. They don't get wider from extra use after the first couple of times or so. It's a muscle. If she's really having a lot of sex, she's exercising the muscle, getting strong, and about to grip you tighter. She probably just had a nauturally big vagoo.

Not really a worst, but technically my only sexual experience minus some things that happened when I was younger.
I was supposed to lose my virginity at a playground to a person i talked to on tinder claiming to be a ftm trans except she still looked and sounded like a girl. The only masculine thing about her was short hair, so either doing it for attention or just really early in the stages of transitioning. We both met up at the park playground and she ended saying she just wanted to suck me off. I wasn't against it, so we went into this mini house/cabin thing that some parks have for the kids to play in. She got on her knees, pulled down my pants and immediately started sucking on my balls then tried to deepthroat me a few times but kept gagging so she stuck with regular sucking. We noticed some cars pull into the parking lot a few times, so we would lay down and she would play with my foreskin to keep me from going completely flaccid. The car would leave and she would get right back to sucking. After a while i was starting to get close and i asked where i should cum. She told me it was ok if i just came in her mouth. A few minutes later i tell her im cumming and she keeps sucking as i nut in her mouth. She sucks a few seconds after to make sure that all the cum was out of my dick then swallowed and asked me if i was ok because i was standing there still breathing heavy. I told her yes and asked if she actually swallowed, she opened her mouth to confirm and told me i came a huge amount apparently. After that we both got in our cars, left, and never spoke again. And im still technically a virgin.

Hearty kek

ill take stories that never happened for 500 Alex. keep LARPing faggot

>Was about to fuck german girl after great party
>we undress and we have the dorm to ourselves
>lots of kissing, touching, i'm diamonds
>present the tip, prepare to gently thrust...she shivers incontrollably
>then it flashes my mind, and I ask : ist es deine erste mal ? (first time)
>she says yes, I say i'm gonna be gentle,
>intense shivering resumes as I start to enter again
>I lose faith, i've never fucked a virgin, will there be blood ?
>I tell her next time maybe, i'm drunk and tired we gonna cuddle instead. she happy
mfw i receive a postcard later thanking me for being gentle
mfw it's been almost 20 years but my balls are steel blue

The condom came off early as she put lube inside it. Most of the horrible sex was raw but didn't realise. Turns out she slept with around 200 guys that year. The fear was real and I did catch chlamydia.

Between smashing virgin pussy and getting a postcard.... You chose the postcard

Some huge nigger probably finished the job

Any fucking autist as long as they're not functionally retarded should be able to get their dick wet in that situation, it's primal instincts

please don't stupid this place up more than it already is.

The postcard reminded me of something
>at a hostel in Boston, 1 night only
>meet some slightly older girl up from NYC for the night
>she's kind of akward and shy, average looking
>somehow end up in bed in an empty room (not our dorm room) making out
>definitely gonna fuck, she's communicated she wants it
>take her pants off
>some big prick comes in the room and tells us to gtfo, very angry
>I just laugh and go to my bed and go to sleep didn't really care
>if women can get blue balls she definitely did
Anyway she made me promise I'd send a post card. Never did of course.

man you're shitty

>be me - submissive femanon
>got wasted drunk on a party
>wanted to have sexy time with my bf before bed
>did freaky stuff we often do
>trampling, punching, facefucking
>pressured him to let me lick his feet
>broke my own hard limit
>he was drunk too and agreed
>ngl orgasm was great
>moralhangover.mp4
>regrets were worse than hangover the next day

>be at the casino
>be at one of the many bars close to when they stop serving
>my cigarette smoke is blowing in this chuck’s face bad
>i tell her my bad I don’t mean to smoke her out like that
>she says it’s okay because she smokes
>she knows my brother and his wife
>we talk for a few minutes but I tell her I want to drink more
>she goes to a corner store to get more beer while I go up to my hotel room and clean up
>we talk more and it seems like it’s just cool. I’m not attracted to her and she doesn’t have to drive an hour home
>I go to piss and when I walk out she’s naked under the blanket
>my room has two beds
>she said if I go to sleep in the other bed she is would go there
>figure I have to just take this for the team
>i undress and get into bed with her
>she presses her flat ass on my dick
>i just lay there
>she grabs my soft dick and tries to make me hard but I’m not getting hard
>I tell her to suck me and it doesn’t get me hard
>she gets in doggystyle and I’m squeezing my dick super hard to try to get it in her but I’m just not into it all
>I tell her I’m too drunk and my dick is broke so it isn’t going to happen
>I lay down and she just rubs my soft dick on her pussy till she cums
>we go to sleep
>I wake up later and tell her she has to split
Never talked again

>Thank god it was curable.

No, I didn't throw her, I kicked her off of me and she flew across the room and into the stand with the tv on it, she fucking drew blood from biting my ear, that shit was sore for a month

>be living in another country on my own
>no relatives
>gets a side job as a male scort
>gets paid to have sex with and old fat guy
> challenge accepted
> realizes guy has vph
>think im safe because hes wearing a condom
> turns out I got contagioused
>now I live with oral vph
>voice is getting deeper
>afraid of delevoping cancer later on

Anal is nice though.

Attached: boned.webm (960x544, 1.9M)

>> be me

kek, have to use that one

I fucked raw a 8/10 thicc goth girl and got chlamydia

>Be me 20 at the time with a GF
>Meet those two girls both 14 and hang out with them a lot
>One is a nice atheletic blond qt
>Other is a bit on the heavier side but has a 10/10 face
> Meet up with the cubbier Girl fist we smoke some dope and hang out great chemestrie and all that shit
> it was a nice summer day and we fuck outdoors at a lake
>shit was cash
>Next time she comes over to my place just bought a new bed real expensiv shit like around 3k
>Shes on her period but I dont give a damn
>A real pirat sails even in the red sea
>Fuck her like a mad man ,we start sweeting and she starts smelling discusting
>I ignore it so she rides me cowgirl style and got damn that tight pussy
> I came inside her
>She gets up
>Stands over me and all the shit from her pussy flows on my stomach like blood ,jizz and what ever else that came out off there
>Real nasty shit
>My new bed is ruined like that shit is everywhere like a splatter Movie
>Fucked the other 14 Year old aa few months later best pussy Ive ever had
Inb4 Age of consent is 14 here .I was a fucked up person always on drugs but I wouldnt change a thing If I had the chance .
Tldr: A 14 year old ruind my new 3k Bed with all the fluids that came out of her pussy .

Edit: English is not my nativ language so sorry for Mistakes

this.

Fresh blood is easy to clean up, cum isn't difficult to clean up either. You fucked up not knowing basic shit.

Naw dog .
You didnt fuck up so badly
jesus fucking christ .
WHAT IN JESUS NAME WENT THROUGH YOUR HEAD AT THOSE TIMES WHEN YOU HAD THE OPPORTUNITY ?

Havent thought about that but all the shit went straight into the matress .Tried cleaning it eventually threw the bed away because it started smelling funky .
But I made enough cash back then so it was all good .
Pic is them left is the nice athletic one right the cubby girl

Attached: Fucked Both.png (720x1280, 459K)

it's a thing

had a baseball bat in my ass, mom came down driveway, had to push it all the way in quick.

No need to explain. That was a close one

Attached: Cheers.jpg (1200x1200, 602K)

traveled to Bangkok 10 years ago, loved the soapie massage. went again this year, found a sexy slim girl, started but my blood sugar started dropping fast. had to end early, no sex, went to the bar and started drinking cokes to get glucose leveled out. so much expectation with bad result.

> Goes down on girlfriend
> gave her a strong orgasm
> myturn.jpg
> put it and notice her face and arm not moving
> Can't make out what she's saying
> full recovery in 3 minutes

turns out she just had a mild stroke from the orgasm as a result of a hole in her heart. scariest shit I ever experienced I can tell you.

>Fucking ex during superbowl
>She recently got off the pill
>EquipCondom.exe
>She wiggles it off.
>CondomV2.exe
>condom breaks inside of her
>Pull out and finish on her ass
>She says 'come inside me user."
>"Nah, Don't wanna get your pregnant."
>Starts blowing me
>ready to go again
>She mounts and says 'ready for another round?"
>notice shes rubbing her pussy with my jizz
>push off, and fuck her face then bail
never saw her again. we dated for years. the best part of this shitty night was that it would be the last that I would ever see her. Toothy blow job giving freak.

When you said her face wasn't moving I thought you just realized you had a small dick.

me and buddy bring 2 girls home from bar. he goes in room to fuck one-legged chick. I bang her friend, cute 30 year old (me 20). she a freak was going back and forth from pussy to ass.
next day raw dick, then warts pop up. took years to get rid of. when the doctor freezes them off tell him to go deep, that finally got rid of them.
But used condoms after that kinda learned my lesson.

I should have fucked the one legged chick instead.

> going through dry spell, no sex for 6mo after breakup
> run into woman I knew from HS years earlier, kinda gained weight but still not bad
> she's recently divorced
> trade numbers, text here and there, go out for drinks
> end up at her place, end up making out
> she starts rambling about her breakup, lack of sex, etc, she practically dives on me with sloppy kisses
> WTF? meh, decide to run with it
> she goes down on me, giving pretty good head, but overly dramatic
> stops and says she wants to make things romantic
> gets up, turns down lights, puts on music, brings me into her room, strips me, pushes me on bed, takes off her clothes, continues with BJ
> bit more making out, nice tits to play with
> she pushes me on to my back again and straddles me, starts the old ride
> making foolish pr0n star faces, keeps calling me baby and lots of "oooh", really hamming it up
> she turns for reverse cow girl
> watching her ass, and then I see it....
> she has huge shit smear up and down her crack, and it's on my pubes
> tell her to get up
> "uhm, I think we have a little problem"
> ask for a towel
> she looks horrified and runs for bathroom, closes and locks the door
> I get up, wait for a bit, then go into kitchen, use paper towels to clean myself
> get dressed, leave

Never heard from her again

At least he told you . I was married for three years when my wife broke the news to me. I should have seen the signs though. Once she was fucking me from behind and slapped my ass and screamed "who's your daddy?". I thought that was an odd thing for a women to say.

Lick hookers pussy? Are you retarded?

She will be someone's grandma some day.

Black chicks don't clean themselves

little dick has a lot to do with it?

That's why brothas won't eat dat coochie but chow down on white girl ass all day

You didn't waste your life because you weren't banging anything you could. It is what it is user. You also could have became a dad at 18. Pussy isn't that special. It's just a fun distraction from life.

Vicky?

All jokes aside, he get caught? Is he in jail?

>be me 16
>virgin
>got raped
>he forced an orgasm out of me

You should try it on a human. They usually have better hygiene then horses.

Two slices left of cold pizza. You where her third stop.

No one ever found out and he never went to jail.

>orgasm out

Wow. I have no idea what that'd be like for a woman. Did it make you feel conflicted?

It did, for a long time I thought it meant I wanted it to happen and it was my fault

minuteman is pretty cool nick imo, could've been worse

Tiny would be bad

11/10 chick that I tried to get with for months. Finally got my chance and her pussy smelled rancid. Like not just sweaty, maybe havent showered stinky.. it was like an actual sour smell. Like fish mixed with vinegar and bbq sauce.

I told her I didnt feel good and that I randomly feel like throwing up. I think Im getting sick, etc (wasn't linking this to her pussy smell btw). Spent like an hour or so talking on the couch while I pretended to be sick. She went home, I never contacted her again. FeelsBadMan

one of my worst actually turned into one of my best

i was like 20, never been with dudes before, but always liked chubby guys. go over to this guys house, he sucks my dick, it was alright.

so i offer to return the favor, pull his pants down and fucking gagged, it smelled like corned beef, it was all red and wrinkly like it never saw the light of day. i was like "sorry man i don't think this is my thing"

he was cool with it though, and gave me 4 blowjobs in a row. i watched Independence Day on his TV while he constantly choked down my cock

not to sound racist but why do black people smell? it's a markedly different smell than even a homeless white man

This is the kind of shit that needs to be posted in ylyl threads.
I lol'd

Ive heard it has something to do with different chemical ingredients in sweat that make white people perceive black people's scent as smelly, not sure if it's true tho

How fucking poor do you have to be to not be able to afford a condom?

My worst sexual experience is that i never had one
youtu.be/Z5dUuNwYKPA

this sounds like a great time wtf is wrong with you

Was staying with my best friend and wife who had moved 1,000 miles away. We had talked in the past how we had always wanted me to fuck his wife with him but I never assumed that would happen because she wouldnt agree. One night at midnight he wakes me up and asks me to come to his room. His smoking hot wife with a tiny little body is laying in bed naked. Im like fuck yeah and rip off all my clothes. I try to eat her pussy but Im told she doenst like that so I stop. I want to kiss her but no kissing allowed. We proceed to take turns fucking her but I'm asked to fuck her as hard and fast as I can. He cums in 5 minutes then Im in the awkwardness i worry that he is gonna get jealous. I like long slow sex and feel pressue that I better hurry up and bust. I do. Anyways...the whole experince kinda sucked. Like fucking a hooker with the pimp standing next to you with the stopwatch.

nothing, literally. my mind just goes blank in situations like that and the amount of stress just makes me want run away from whole situation once it presents itself.

its pretty average. like i wrote earlier - its all in my head

Did she have to suck off her dad too?

Had a threesome, the other dude came on me

I have one but it’s not the experience that was the issue as much as the aftermath.

Was in a frat and my fraternity brother had an older sister that was super close in age. Think she was like only a year older. She was like reserved hot, and she always hung out at our parties. Odd thing is she never slutted out or got wasted. She kind of grew into like the frat mom almost.

So one Christmas break we were delayed going to our respective homes by blizzard. Were at the house and casually drinking. It’s me, my frat bro, the sister, and one other dude who can’t hold his liquor and passes out.

We decide to play truth or dare. I’m pretty drunk. I dare her to kiss me. Keep in mind this chick has never fooled around with any of us before. She makes out for thirty seconds. Frat brothers turn next. She dares him to make out with me. We do it. Her turn. Dare of course. I dare her to make out with him.

Game over. They go at it. Maybe why she hasn’t fucked any of us? We end up spit roasting her. Next morning wake up hungover. They are obviously regretting it. Awkward. Nobody will talk but still basically snowed in. Finally I get to leave. Frat bro apparently stays behind and moves all his shit out. Doesn’t come back in January. Joins the Air Force as an enlisted.

She was lesbian last I heard. Feels really weird

>be 22
>only had sex 2 times before this
>introduction at college
>dad buys me motel room
>fuck yes!
>post craigslist ad for "fun"
>1 girl responds 7/10 pic
>invite her over
>night goes on, no reply
>hit her up again
>she invites me over
>gives me adress to trailer park
>smallest trailer in the park
>chick looks like a small dude when I pull up
>tells me to keep it down
>she walks with a limp
>she offers me some soda and tries to sell me weed
>she plays rap music and talks about gangs in LA
>her husband was a blood, now in prison
>tells me the hood is her home
>takes off sweatpants
>she has a brace around her leg, deep scar
>tells me she was in a motorcycle crash
>start giving her head
>not so bad
>get hard
>I'm fucking her for 2 hours
>I have to pee really bad
>piss in her tiny trailer toilet
>drink more soda
>she tells me she sells heroin
>whatever, lets fuck
>fuck for an hour and a half
>keep getting soft
>have to keep licking her to get hard again
>she gets a call
>tells me to wait a minute
>weighs out some heroine
>says she'll be right back
>puts on her hoodie and looks like a dude again
>comes back
>we fuck another 2 hours
>still can't cum, not even close
>its 6 am, she's falling asleep
>tell her I better go
>let her know I want to see her again
>she never speaks to me again

Attached: FullSizeRender.jpg (814x1164, 158K)

>I fuck black women
Hopefully you've gotten what you deserve by now: AIDS.

she's not using her gender to gain any traction. We don't need timestamp on this fuckers.

>pic related
>use tits or GTFO properly

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>be me
>have huge crush on best friend
>go on trip with 6 other people
>having a good time, catching up and whatnot
>one of the girls we're with takes a drink too many and tells me she liked me for a very long time
>play it off as drunken flattery or something stupid
>everyone keeps drinking untill the bar closes
>back in the house we rented for that weekend I decided it'd be fun to get in the bath with everyone
>have a fun splash despite it being very cramped but we had a laugh anyways
>same girl from earlier suddenly
squeezed my balls for whatever the fuck a reason she had
>I squeak like a schoolgirl and run off to my room
>she comes in, gives me a beer and starts talking about how much fun she had with me
>suddenly we're kissing
>clothes go off
>things get more heated
>as I'm about to go in, I remember that I'm hopelessly in love with another
>get up and leave, and wait like a retard untill she falls asleep because I couldn't bear the awkward situation I just created for her
>never heard someone cry as much as she did that night

It was a weird situation but we're fine now, she got a new boyfriend a week after the trip so that gave me a weird feeling

Attached: 1496110473918.png (291x378, 86K)

>first time attempt at eating pussy
>black girl
>get close
>smells like something is dead in there
>noped smoothly my way up, kissing her
>broke up a week later

>first time actually eating pussy
>taste like rust but what do i know, first time
>fuck gurl
>wipe dick
>brownish/red stuff on my dick
>ah dont worry user, im at the end of my period

no need to say it took me a while before i attempted eating pussies for a while afterwards

Are you retarded?

Attached: owl.webm (480x480, 451K)

>that make white people perceive black people's scent as smelly
Oh that's it, yeah, they don't actually smell bad, it's just white people THINK they smell bad...

>be me
>20 years old
>Living with roommate
>Have a crush on an old highschool friend
>were friends, she doesn't see me any other way
>She crushing on roommate hard
>He doesn't like her
>Gives the excuse "user likes you, I can't betray a friend like that."
>She starts to resent me, thinks im keeping him from her.
>One day after more advances he tells her "Go fuck user, get it out of his system and ill date you"
>He thinks she won't do it and will go away
>That night she shows up at my bedroom door.
>Acting friendlier than usual
>Wants to "hang out"
>I dont know whats going on.
>We go to the park, have fun, get some food.
>Go back to my place, I'm about to go in and play LoL.
>She hugs me awkwardly
>Leans in and kisses me awkwardly
>boner.jpg
>Kiss her back, hell yeah this is what I've always wanted!
>Go back to my room, making out on my bed.
>Her leg brushes me boner.
>She starts rubbing my crotch while kissing me
>She's getting more and more awkward though.
>Like, she's doing it, I didn't ask for anything but getting the vibe she doesnt WANT to.
>She unzips my pants and takes them off.
>Staring at my hard, slightly below average size cock.
>Takes a deep breath and just goes to town on it with her mouth.
>Like a bad blowjob from a porn.
>I'm on cloud 9
>She stops and wipes her face
>"Um...everything okay?"
>She nods, you can tell she's close to tears.
>I have no idea wtf is happening.
>Fast forward, she's on her back, I'm fingering her bald pussy.
>"Do you have any condoms?"
>I don't have sex, I have none.
>Shake my head
>She seems uncomfortable but says "It's fine, go ahead."
>Logical part of me knows something is wrong, horny part doesn't care.
>Shove it in, she's way more dry than she should be considering the circumstances.
>Fucking her missionary, harder, harder, harder
>She starts visibly sobbing
>I'm too invested to even care.
>Fuck harder, not even paying attention to her.
>Sucking on her toes while pounding her.
continued

>Roll her over on top of me, roughly biting her tits while she rides me
>Switch back and forth from missionary to doggy and cowgirl like 3 times
>Eventually she stops crying and seems to be enjoying it.
>Finally ready to finish but dont want to stop.
>End up shooting all the way up inside her.
>She's having a panic attack, digging it out with her fingers.
>She showers and leaves without many more words.
>Next day, comes over to see roommate.
>He denies her AGAIN.
>She leaves a complete mess, in tears, shaking and sobbing.
>Glares at me as she goes, I have no clue what is wrong.
>Roommate explains what he did.
>Never see her again.

She never contacted either of us again, never responded to my texts and the last "contact" I ever had from her was from her older brother saying "Stop trying to talk to her or ill kick your ass". I wanted to be with her but not like that. I still feel guilty 10 years later.

>be me at gfs
>taking a bath, relaxing
>gf comes in, I'm visibly a little nervous as we have not done it yet
>starts talking to me about how its not safe because im not wearing a life jacket
>starts equating the beach to my bath im taking saying how neither are safe without a life guard
>tells me im safe because she's my life guard and she's here
>I get more relaxed although dumbfounded about wtf she's talking about
>no word of a lie she sees a shark in the tub and gets me out
>I tell her to leave this is really wierd
>she says we should have sex
>okay.jpg

Attached: 1496094954388.jpg (259x194, 6K)

>>I masturbate just to cum while she does a dance for me

What dance was it? Macarena?

Finish it and kill yourself faggot.

I don't think it's a matter of actively thinking rather than perceiving

gross

>paizuri

Maybe you need a cartoon or a waifu pillow, weeb-san

Are you native american, by any chance?

>having gay anal sex with older man.
>invites 2 more guys over.
>start doing coke and drinking.
>try something called special k.
>bits of memory.
>lights in my eyes.
>hands all over my body.
>guys jerking off on my face while i get butt fucked
>waking up with sheets plastered to my young naked body.
>crazy urge to shit.
>feel ashamed and get in shower.
>some stranger just gets in the shower with me.
>pins me against the wall and rape.
>says thanks.
>he gets out.
>i sit in shower sniveling.
>start thinking about it.
>decide I want to go home.
>get out of shower.
>can't find clothes.
>overpowered
>gangraped by 8 maybe 9 guys.
>held down and mounted by German Shepard
> scream and cry more.
>video record entire thing.
>blackmailed into being their whore.
>make me blow them while they watch it.
>bring me to an lds bishop.
>plays nice.
>has me confess.
>says he can help.
>gets rapey.
>burns my genitals with a tazer. >tears me open.
>shaves my head.
>chokes me out multiple times. >beats me till i shit.
>leaves me a crying heap.
>gather my self.
>go to leave
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur

Your'e an idiot. If your cock has no room as you're pumping, it will get uncomfortable! WTF are you talking about? Imagine you're pumping with your foreskin sewn up at the top. You can't get good motion. And I didn't make that post...

Get rekt fucker. The guy is opening up here and sharing his life with us, and that's your reply? KYS? You're a fagggggggggooottttttttt.

Sorry you have to deal with fuckers giving you a hard time with your insecurities. Fuck them. Ignore their post and hide it. You keep doing you and when you're ready, you'll have the sex that you want. Seems like women are attracted to you!!

it's up there.

best case. how about worst case?
ddip?

>50 year old milf
>went upstairs with her in her marriage bed

fucked her ass raw on a ~30+ years old bed. It's a wonder you didn't get ebola.

I'm married, so there's tons of bad experiences. Probably the worst is when I finally had pestered her enough so she promised we'd fuck later that evening. So she couldn't refuse, and didn't. But she fell asleep while I fucked her.

>she fell asleep while I fucked her.
last time I had sex with my bf I passed out from alcohol and tiredness and it was one of our best times

she woke up....

>supposed to lose my virginity at a playground to a person i talked to on tinder claiming to be a ftm trans except she still looked and sounded like a girl.
>at a playground
>a playground

SMH

Best thread in a while :D

Well, she was alive when I started...

There will always be blood. Always.

>tell him to go deep

I'll bet that's what you say to all the dudes

Getting caught by mom at 16y with ~15y gf while fuckin her in doggy style.

>use paper towels to clean myself

a real Alpha uses the curtains, the bed sheets, or the chick's hair

>i watched Independence Day on his TV while he constantly choked down my cock

sounds like you're gay for Will Smith to me

>Met a guy on grindr about a year ago
>Fucked him in the back of his minivan
>Came in is ass
>Hit him up a couple weeks ago
>Go over to his place, get down to business right away
>Start fucking him
>A couple minutes later notice a funny smell
>Look down, dick literally covered in shit
>I go wash my dick off in the bathroom
>Go back to the bedroom, he sucks me off to completion

Not always, or at least not during the very first time. I bled during like 3rd time.

>be me
>17 at the time
>bf asks to finger asshole
>agree
>he pulls down my underwear a bit and starts massaging my hole
>start getting into it
>getting really into it at a steady, fairly fast pace
>ass makes the grossest sound
>bf slows his pace
>suggest we stop
>bf immediately goes to washroom to clean hand
>he suggests i take a shower
>run to bathroom with a weight in my underwear
>shitpantsmcgee.mp4
>take the longest shower imaginable

i live in so much shame

whitey don like the smell of KANGZ

DUUUUUUDE ! My ex ripped mine during rough and couldn't fuck for 2 weeks.
That shit's painful af

lol cuck

>>virgin
>>knows what a girls pussy is supposed to feel like
I smell bs user

mindgames.slut.jpg

My girl is black, and she cleans herself just fine. I enjoy tongue punching her fartbox

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Attached: 705CEBB9-F446-4999-8DBD-0779B3684561.gif (480x204, 883K)

kek

>in high school
>having sex with gf
>she shit herself

Just proves sex dolls are the future.

I was banging this slampig from Craigslist. Some 50 lbs over weight hairy jew girl - had to slug 4 beers before she came over just to get in the zone. I'd deep throat, spank, choke, and anal. One fucking night I'm balls deep in her corn canal and my dick starts burning. I'm like wtf we lubed that shit up. I pull my dick out and it's covered in diarrhea shit. I ran to the bathroom and jumped in the shower and rinsed green fecal matter off my dick. Last time I met up with that nasty bitch

second girl i had sex with was an indian chick. when she seemed to be enjoying it, i got carried away and basically flailed around in a prone bone like a retarded dolphin. she said "umm i think i' good now" and i was embarrassed. but for some reason she kept texting me and guilted me for fucking and then ignoring her.

Every girl and every boy, i gave up on sex with humans.
Masturbation since i was 7 is still the best.
If i could go back in time i would never have sex at all.

Sex with my current gf, she’s fat and boring. I have to think of other people to make sex with her fun.

I RAGED

Im a Spic in south america and the Haitians here smell
You can feel them on a crowded bus even at distance

My girlfriend at the time had a moment of horniness and was wearing sexy underwear and all that, and we're halfway and switch to doggy style and then I guess I went too hard and she started crying, we didn't fuck for like a week after that.

Oh and the time I learnt I have mild phimosis when I looked online after she accidentally ripped my foreskin during a bit o' that head

My moms boyfriend abused me whenever I was alone with him which was pretty often.

and you liked it

Not really

yes really, or you would gtfo when you knew you would be alone with him, or cops..

Not when you’re a kid

were you 5?

I was 9

are you a woman?

Yes

Don't feel bad. I'm fat so anytime a girl got flirty I just thought they were filling with me

so you are telling me you was repeatedly raped and you didnt know how to use a phone at age of 9?

thanks for kind words, and dont worry, couldnt care less about what this mong said. i learned that replying without any malice both pisses them off and shuts them right up.

anyways thx for giving me more reasons for hating single mothers, am going to watch tv.

It was always oral and I was ashamed and afraid that I’d be in trouble for it too

Attached: hiX84mb.jpg (1375x758, 80K)

Fair enough!! I just wanted to make sure that you know there are anons who love you and would stick by your side. The other fuckers who have terrible lives and come here to troll and bait and try to ruin the days of contributors like you, they can get rekt.

>i fapped
>the end

Choking should be talked about first and you beter trust them.

Basically you want them passing out from loss of blood not oxygen (sides of neck) and once they pass out you should let go right away. If the guy is an emotional gets carried away type he might not realise fast enough.

Also its good to have her hands on yours so you know shes out when they fall off (if positioned right)

Got shitfaced at college with my roommate, one of his female friends was there. We were all drinking heavily and she and I were really into each other. Made out a little there and went back to her dorm room to fuck (she was an RA so she had a private room).

She changes into some lingerie, rides my dick for a little bit, then wants to suck it. Not the order I'm used to, but whatever, she was fine.

Sucks my dick for a little but, and pukes. A lot. Didn't get any on me but there was a smelly pile on the floor. At that point she just wanted to lie down, so I made her jerk me off onto her tits and I left as soon as I blew my load.

My roommate told me that she... did not have kind things to say about me after that.

It was gonna be something, user.

Smart, hot, sane. Pick two.

>Meet Girl
>I say I don't want to fuck, I'm just interested in going to the concert and drink

>We go to the concert
>Then we start drinking

>She keeps doing thing like "Can you finish my glass ? I want something else"
>Drink 4 time more
>She start smoking weed
"Thanks but I don't do drug"
>She keep throwing her weed smoke at me
>I can't think straight
>I black out

>Wake up naked next to her
>Used condom. No semen tho.
>Feel hurt. I delete her on social media.
>Get checked, no STD

What the fuck happened ?

If I wanted a blowjob with a condom on I'd do it myself.

> Be me drunk in bar, its late and everyone is desperate.
> Pick up fat chick with cute face.
> Walk home to mine and get dirty in bedroom.
> After sucking on her fat titties and highly erect huge nipples she says shes feeling sick so I go to kitchen and get her a glass of water.
> When I return she has a sip and says shes much better.
> We start playing around and next thing we're both fully naked and I'm pushing hard inside her.
> She's wet as a rain storm and wider than the grand canyon.
> She had a twat that could hold a grenade cache.
> I fucked her for ages and we're both sweaty as hell rolling around in sodden sheets.
> But I can't come as much as I try.
> She ends up turning around into doggie position and says to fuck her in the bum as she's much tighter there.
> I go to town on that asshole and its tight as hell. I'm deep in her balls and all and she's screeching like a banshee.
> I unload inside her gallons and we collapse and both go to sleep.
> In the morning she wakes me after climbing on top with her bushy fat pussy scratching my groind. We fuck again and she calls a cab and leaves.
> A week later smelling something nasty somewhere in my dank bedroom for days I follow my nose to its source.
> The dirty bitch when I went to the kitchen threw up on the side of my bed and then dragged my bedside cabinet on top of it to hide it.
> I had to pay for the carpet to steam cleaned as I was renting and the stomach acid had bleached the pile.

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meet a girl that wanted to be drugged and raped.
that´s actually pretty boring to do.

>not to sound racist but
Stop being a pussy

>why do black people smell?
Some religious folk say they're under a curse. If this means there's something foul attached to them deep down to the core, maybe down to the bones, or to the blood itself or perhaps even deeper into finer structures, then I agree. There's a sort of pervasive fluid which oozes very subtly from blacks. It seems to stain EVERYTHING, and of course it has a very peculiar foul smell too. Practically there is very little they can do about it, except perhaps try to mask it with whatever the hell they can. I hear this condition can be reversed. This fluid seems to stain immediately, but results are macroscopically visible over time and continuous exposure.

Only blacks or 'black-enough' individuals seem to present this sign.

Proof? Systematically check hospital patient's bed sheets over time, if you have access to it, and learn to see the truth for yourself, if you can isolate black patients from the rest. If you have no access to hospitals, observe carefully the walls of a home where whites live or have lived, and on average then compare it to the same for blacks. You should see what I mean.

Surgeon here, non-religious. If any other surgeon says this is not true, they're either non-experienced or a bunch of fucking LIARS. Even the flesh itself, when you cut into it, "somehow" appears different. I'm using lay terms here.
blacks and whites the same? Like hell they are.

You got date raped, user

>this kind of reddit comment

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You realise this is an 18+ board, right?

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> Be me at first year at university.
> Have a few fucks, a short time girlfriend and then started seeing this amazing 8/10 skinny brunette.
> Fell in love and we fucked like newly weds.
> After a month she starts getting distant.
> Meet her at cocktail party and gt really drunk.
> End up fucking som other chick.
> Leave room after fucking and poke had into another room.
> See brunette sucking another guy in my year, while she is giving a hand job to a good friend.
> Both dudes look up and they all invite me in to join.
> I say fuck it, go in, strip off and Im hard again.
> I kneel down behind her, slam myself in and angry fuck her.
> I knew having just blown my load in that other chick that it would take me a while to come.
> So I fucked her for ages. Slamming into her. She was quite drunk, so I started thumbing her arsehole and even got in a little bit.
> Both guys were getting frustrated at how long I was taking but 20 minutes later I blew in her.
> I walkd straight out.
> She ended up fucking a heap of guys but I still loved her and hoped she might come back.
> A month and a half later she had fucked a guy in 3rd year and got pregnant to him
> He was married to another 3rd year.
> She left soon after that.

hey buddy if you give me a million dollars i'll give you a brand new cheeseburger from mcdonalds, wanna trade?

therapy.quick.com

i know i'm weird but shit i hope this is real

because that's funny right there, i don't care who you are

>that make white people perceive black people's scent as smelly
>Oh that's it, yeah, they don't actually smell bad, it's just white people THINK they smell bad...
Exactly. This damned hypocrisy makes me sick. Coming to an end, though.

This is what happens when people tell women that their naked ''womanly'' body alone is enough to drive men wild. You get fucking unwashed Sasquatches going around dropping their soiled panties and sticking their unwashed ass-forests in everyone's faces like it's appealing. Fuck.

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this is the best comment ITT

I lost my virginity at sixteen and 3 months later my now ex girlfriend accused me of rape

Got a story for ya

>fucking my ex in the ass
>not using a condom
>pulling out the dick
>fuck, she has pinworms in there and stuff
>cries

bail

what did you do after that??

E.T.ouch.wav

Cleaned my dick, forgave her, but broke up with her almost the same day

> Be me, 30, start fucking an 18 year old brunette from work.
> She was a virgin and loved the d.
> She fell madly in love with me.
> She would piss a bit when she rode me on top and even tried anal a few times.
> We fucked a lot and I often ran out of condoms, but I loved blowing inside her and she was fascinated by my come as it dripped out of her pussy.
> But her sweet dark hairy pussy was so tight and she was willing to do lots of positions to learn.
> I start fucking this british amazonian chick who just started working with us.
> So for a while I'm fucking them both and then having to work with both of them.
> I felt bad about what I was doing so I started to distance myself from the 18 yo brunette.
> But she keep luring me back as had a lot of common interests and she would just randomly start rubbing my cock and then we would fuck again.
> Brunette then gets pregnant and a few days later we agree on an abortion.
> I drove her to the clinic. We split the abortion bill.
> Her friends picked her up. I drove over to the British chick's house and we fuck all night. Noragrets.
> A fortnight later I leave the country.
> I bump into brunette a year later. We fucked in disabled toilet.
> I haven't seen her since.

started raising pinworms and selling them on the side for extra cash

I kind of admire her ngl

Dam that sucks. I can stay hard while drunk, but it takes me forever to cum.

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I make them grab on my arm and squeeze. Grip loosens and I know when to stop.

> Ex turns up for post breakup bootie call.
> Fuck her hard as her body and cunt were ahtletic as fuck and familiar and safe.
> Get hard after first fuck session, start riding her again. She's loving it.
> Doggie style hard exercise fucking. Sweating like a dog. I'm fully inside her hairy pussy and breathing hard.
> Then knock on front door.
> Ignore for a short while until girl shouts out.
> Its this brown haired raver chick who I had been building a relationship with. She was fucking great but was off her face on ecstasy and had turned up for weed and whatever else.
> She knew I was home.
> I pull out of ex's pussy.
> Tell ex I have to answer door and ex should leave quietly cos shit could go down as chick as on drugs or something.
> Answer door in robe and lead raver chick to living room for bongs, hiding semi boner still sticky against the robe fabric.
> Smoking away with her, I get some tunes playing to drown out background noise.
> Raver chick hears front door close. Ex just snuck out.
> I say some bullshit about wind slamming the garden gate but hear ex's car start up and leave.
> I pretend to go to front door and check.
> Raver chick buys it and after a short while gets flirty and starts rubbing me through robe.
> I'm hard again but very worried raver chick will smell the pussy juices that my cock stank from.
> I lead raver chick to bathroom an say join me in shower.
> I climbed in quick and lathered up my stanky cock to lose the juice.
> And proceeded to fuck raver chick.
> Ex and I stopped fucking from that point on.

> Ex turns up for post breakup bootie call.
> Fuck her hard as her body and cunt were ahtletic as fuck and familiar and safe.
> Get hard after first fuck session, start riding her again. She's loving it.
> Doggie style hard exercise fucking. Sweating like a dog. I'm fully inside her hairy pussy and breathing hard.
> Then knock on front door.
> Ignore for a short while until girl shouts out.
> Its this brown haired raver chick who I had been building a relationship with. She was fucking great but was off her face on ecstasy and had turned up for weed and whatever else.
> She knew I was home.
> I pull out of ex's pussy.
> Tell ex I have to answer door and ex should leave quietly cos shit could go down as chick as on drugs or something.
> Answer door in robe and lead raver chick to living room for bongs, hiding semi boner still sticky against the robe fabric.
> Smoking away with her, I get some tunes playing to drown out background noise.
> Raver chick hears front door close. Ex just snuck out.
> I say some bullshit about wind slamming the garden gate but hear ex's car start up and leave.
> I pretend to go to front door and check.
> Raver chick buys it and after a short while gets flirty and starts rubbing me through robe.
> I'm hard again but very worried raver chick will smell the pussy juices that my cock stank from.
> I lead raver chick to bathroom an say join me in shower.
> I climbed in quick and lathered up my stanky cock to lose the juice.
> And proceeded to fuck raver chick.
> Ex and I stopped fucking from that point on

This sounds like a bukowski poem

Fucking some hot, crazy, feminist chick for the first time.
I was younger and my only sexual experience was with me in charge.
>Start to have sex
>She wants to ride and only ride.
>she cant keep a rhythm
>I cant keep it up because I wanted to pound away and control the pace.
>We literally start fighting to be on top.
>shes actually getting pissed that I wont let her lead
>She starts crying
>"I guess I'll just keep going....?"
>I start fucking her while shes down
>she takes it for a while and starts getting into it.
>snaps up and jumps off the bed and demands to be on top
> mfw "what the literal fuck is happening?"
>let her ride again but my dick loses his posture
>it goes limp again and she starts crying again
>asks me to leave, "but this is my house"
>she takes off crying saying I'm a fucking loser, says "what kind of guy can't keep it up for someone this hot?"
>dont say anything. She leaves, masturbate and go to sleep.

Banged girlfriend's Mum one day when I turned up drunk and girlfriend wasn't home.

Pussy was hairy as fuck and tits her deflated ballons.

Was knuckle deep in my girlfriend when her babysitter walked in on us.

> Ex turns up for post breakup bootie call.
> Fuck her hard as her body and cunt were ahtletic as fuck and familiar and safe.
> Get hard after first fuck session, start riding her again. She's loving it.
> Doggie style hard exercise fucking. Sweating like a dog. I'm fully inside her hairy pussy and breathing hard.
> Then knock on front door.
> Ignore for a short while until girl shouts out.
> Its this brown haired raver chick who I had been building a relationship with. She was fucking great but was off her face on ecstasy and had turned up for weed and whatever else.
> She knew I was home.
> I pull out of ex's pussy.
> Tell ex I have to answer door and ex should leave quietly cos shit could go down as chick as on drugs or something.
> Answer door in robe and lead raver chick to living room for bongs, hiding semi boner still sticky against the robe fabric.
> Smoking away with her, I get some tunes playing to drown out background noise.
> Raver chick hears front door close. Ex just snuck out.
> I say some bullshit about wind slamming the garden gate but hear ex's car start up and leave.
> I pretend to go to front door and check.
> Raver chick buys it and after a short while gets flirty and starts rubbing me through robe.
> I'm hard again but very worried raver chick will smell the pussy juices that my cock stank from.
> I lead raver chick to bathroom an say join me in shower.
> I climbed in quick and lathered up my stanky cock to lose the juice.
> And proceeded to fuck raver chick.
> Ex and I stopped fucking from that point on

Was your girlfriend 9 ?

Goddamn user that's truly pathetic

still hit though

good tips and nice dubs

Can't wait for you STD spreaders to die.

>My hands now have ptsd and begin flailing wildly at the sound of flatulence.
L.O.S.T. Well played, user.

> Used to go clubbing with great crew of friends
> 3 chicks would always come along. A brunette, a chick with brown hair & redhead
> Brunette was tall and sultry & professional. Brown hair was common, working class and domestic. Redhead was mad with big tits
> They all lived in one house and we would often return there after nights out for post club drinking and drug sessions
> I was aching to fuck any one of these chicks.
> After about a year, I finally got one brown haired one into bed
> We fucked but sex was absolutely shit
> She was a dead fuck. Just lay there as I pumped away. I finally blew all over her hairy brown pussy and she said "Are you done?"
> A month later I drop by house with some weed. Brunette had finished work early and was still dressed in her suit
> We got pretty stoned did some nitrous canisters & then she grabbed my hand giggled and led me to her bedroom
> Her body was amazing, long, sleek with perfect tits & nipples
> Her pussy her to this day was the finest hair I had very felt. It was like silk threads
> We fucked & it felt so nice and warm when I first entered her cunt but as soon as I was inside I realised she had a huge cunt
> She lay there just like the brown haired chick too. Dead as a dodo as I flopped around on top of her
> I wasn't even able to come & blame the weed
> About a month later I'm out at club and bump into redhead
> We're both high as fuck & we go back to my apartment for a smoke to chill out
> This led to that and I'm pulling off redheads clothes on my bed
> I took off her bra & her big tits fell out
> They were gnarly looking things
> The nipples looked like a dog had been chewing on them & they hung almost down to her stomach
> When I got her panties off it didn't get better.
> She was fully shaved so I could see her pussy lips quite clearly & she had more meat hanging out than a NY sandwich shop
> It was just all a pretty nasty looking looking ensemble
> We fucked & I had doggie her so I couldn't see her ugly shit.

lmao

> Be me 18 horny as fuck.
> Start fucking this student nurse.
> 7/10 short hair. Perfect medium tits. Tight pussy.
> Fuck all the time.
> Fuck in dorm rooms. Fuck in the showers. Fuck in my car. Fuck at work. Fuck at friends houses.
> She turns up at my room one and I'm horny as fuck.
> Start fucking. Hardcore balls deep fucking.
> Thrusting away.
> Come inside her.
> GO to get up and pull bedsheets aside.
> Blood everywhere. on sheets. on her pussy. on my cock. on my balls. on the mattress. on my belly. down her thighs.
> It was a slaughterhouse down there.
> She then tells me she is on her period but thought it was nearly over.
> We broke up very soon later as I couldn't get the image of that mess out of my mind.
> I had to flip the mattress before I moved out as even after I cleaned up it still looked like a murder scene.

Condom broke inside of a white trash anti abortion woman. I literally said "there's been a malfunction" which is just too hilarious in hindsight. She was a fucking idiot and I'm a semi successful professional. October 26th 2013 couldve ruined my life forever. Thankfully her egg didnt accept my swimmy bois.

As for the strength of my sperm, I impregnated my now fiance a few years ago and we thankfully terminated that spawn.

I'll never forget "there's been a malfunction" and the dozens of horrible thoughts that streamed through my mind envisioning a life of white trash. Fuck

Had bad sex with a guy off Grindr. I couldn't keep it up and came as soon as I put it in his ass. Now I take boner pills but I'm still working on the premature ejaculation.

>Dating a girl Sophomore year of college
>Tiny little nympho with glasses and fake red hair, cute as a button
>Loved to fuck, was super submissive and loved to let me slap the shit out of her while she moaned and called me daddy
>One day I take her out to eat at her favorite place, buy her some boneless wings and get something for myself
>Go back to my place afterward, ask her if she's gonna thank daddy for buying her lunch
>"Thank you daddy..." she says with her dirty, I'm horny grin
>"Show me how thankful you are." I say and pull my cock out
>"Or what, Daddy?"
>She wants me to get rough with her
>"I'll fucking make you."
>Grab her by the back of her hair, and shove my dick down her little throat
>She's slobbering and gagging, I keep going at it till I feel like I'm about to bust
>Pop it out, spit in her face and say, "You want this cum in your mouth?"
>"PLEASE, DADDY. YES."
>Shove her head ALL the way down, feel her throat tense up as she gags
>Feels SO fucking good
>JUST about to blast it all down her throat when I hear her loudly gag again, caugh, and suddenly wet hot slimey explosion on my dick and balls
>Feels like gravy, smells like vinegar
>AhFuck.jpeg
>She puked half digested medium boneless wings all over me, my cock, and my bedsheet seconds away from me busting an amazing nut
>Suddenly get nauseous, almost vom but I hold it back
>She's emabarrased and starts crying, runs to the bathroom and hides. Won't open up bc "Omg don't look at me".
>I'm trying to be sensitive, but like bitch I'm covered in vomit I need a fucking towel
>Puke slides off my dick while I'm reasoning with her and gets on my work slacks that are in the floor
>Finally she opens up, I clean it off, she calms down
>We have a laugh about it
>Found out a month or so later she told her mom about it after mom made a crack about her not having a gag reflex

Felt weird af when I finally met her parents lol

you use the word "fortnight", yet refer to "British chick" as if she were a foreigner...
ughh...?
also, did you re-meet up with brunette in the same country you initially met in, or the on you went away to? if the latter, something stinks in here

Jesus...that sounds like a version of "The Aristocrats!"

You need to research your culture more sir. There are more worlds outside of UK and America. Some are an amalgam of both worlds. As for the British chick. We fucked while I was fucking 18 yo. She was fucking awesome but she was a tourist and moved on just before I left to continue her backpacking.

>SMH
Nigger detected

Fucked girlfriend's younger sister on girlfriend's own bed (younger sister was 22). Took her virginity and ble inside her. Huge regrets.