I only have 200$ and my resume is so fucked that no one will hire me and will be homeless and fucked soon...

White lie, not total lie. If you're gonna like do it casually like, "I have excellent skills in customer service and communications". Dont lie like "I worked 5 years as a computer IT expert"

rob a bank

Google the Pet Rock craze of the mid '70s. Gary Dahl marketed beach rocks sold as pets and made a few million before the fad petered out. I love success stories like this.

Donate plasma on a regular basis. It pays pretty well.
Look at all the shit big box retail places near you and see if they're hiring. Home Depot, Lowe's, Walmart, Sam's Club, et cetera.
Check for Amazon delivery driver openings.
FUX YOUR FUCKING RESUME. Jesus christ, LIE on it if you have to.

If you really need money you can and should suck someone's dick. There are people out there willing to pay everywhere you go. It's a basic service that anybody can do. Everybody wants their dick sucked and everybody can suck dick. This has gotten me out of many past due notices, and now I can finally give back by paying people to suck my dick. What sucks around comes around.

My local plasma place gives like 50 only for the first 6 times, then 20 ever time after. And walmart, not too hard to get a job, but the management sucks ass

They're all scams. The handful that aren't (Apple support, et cetera) are taken the moment they're available.
2019 and we're still stuck in the "commute to the big building downtown" work model even though half the jobs are all computer work.

Why did you put the $ sign after the 200 instead of before it?

>but the management sucks ass
Okay see, now we're starting to understand that you don't want employment badly enough. You're in this "aw fuck that man, that place is the shits" frame of mind where you're probably spending more time smoking pot and playing vidya than you are actually trying to find employment.
I KNOW Walmart and Home depot are shit to work for; I worked at both of them and at the time it was all I could get within the timeframe needed to keep my bills paid.
I'm sure you're entertaining the thought that "I can just roomate with so-and-so and sleep on their couch."
I bet you support Bernie, too.

You can probably get a dishwashing gig in a restaurant. If you don’t suck/ actually show up they might start giving you prep jobs. Also free food

short PRAN
buy NEWL

You're beginning to see why no one hires him after reading his "resume."

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Dude, chill. Not everyone wants to slave away with shitty managers for average pay until they die

Dude, dilate. Not everyone who works shitty jobs like Walmart is dumb enough to stay there until they die.
>I only have 200$ and my resume is so fucked that no one will hire me and will be homeless and fucked soon.
Go live under that bridge, then. But at least YOU'RE NOT A WAGIE, RIGHT?

Lie on your resume. You need money to survive so just lie and learn the job while you work. The worst that could happen is they fire you aftet 2 weeks, then you can at least get a check and some unemployment.

Then start shaking your boipussy. Women discovered a long time ago that lonely men will pay ANYTHING to not feel lonely. Once you get good at riding dick you can charge $100 just for one fuck which is a MAXIMUM of an hour.

Check out the tips in this thread

>and some unemployment
You don't qualify for unemployment until you've been someplace for a year. You're either a decent person who's never collected it, or an absolute fucking NEET who's never worked and doesn't understand how shit works.

this post has depressed me.

Sad thing is, $300 in 48 hours is easy if you're in any type of real city and not the absolute boony sticks.
Donate plasma > Craigslist/LetGo shit you don't need > ask everyone you know for $5 > stand at a busy intersection with a sign, looking like shit.
That $300 comes quick. It's just not sustainable.

A certain politician might be able to help

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youtube.com/watch?v=T8lFSHHs9wo

He wants a job, not more fucking china. No one wants more china, just ask the chinese.

do what everyone with no talent or money does; join the military.