Post near death experiences

Post near death experiences.

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>homeless
>drunk as fuck
>drunk mind thinks trespassing and burglary is a good idea
>start testing door knobs of houses with no cars
>one opens, little dog inside freaks out
>runs into the yard
>run away, but drunk so slow
>dog is right on my heels
>owner come out
>is holding a .357 revolver
>aims at me and starts yelling
>trip over some shit
>dog is all over me
>owner is closing in
>get up and run for my life
>pass out in a kids slide at the park when I can't run any more

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>Be me as a child, human male aged twelve
>Stop breathing for nearly four minutes
>Will die if I don’t start breathing again
>Start breathing again
>Was just seeing how long I could hold my breath for

>just moved to New area
>it's ghetto as fuck
>drink a fifth of vodka
>have no weed man
>decide to try and find one
>it's all section 8 housing
>go to the corner
>approach group of niggers
>start bragging about how well I can fight because drunk
>the biggest one comes up and breaks my nose
>kicks my skateboard away
>have big knife in my pocket
>decide not to use it
>run to my board and skate away
>have to pass the corner every day
>when I skate home from work I see a nigger with a rifle in the window
>it becomes a nightly game dodging the laser.

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>driving home from school with gf
>getting off freeway
>space out and miss the red light
>still going 60
>cars coming into the intersection
>somehow manage to miss all oncoming cars
>drift into the turn lane between a semi and a van
>everybody honking
>turn off and park

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>12
>camping at the beach
>had to hike in, about 45 min trip
>Rocky beach and breaks hard right next to shore
>go bodysurfing alone
>get into a nice wave and appreciate the inner tube
>wake up on the beach coughing up water
>no idea where I am, or who I am
>wander the beach for a bit
>head hurts rub it
>hand is covered in blood
>Finally see a surfer
>ask him who where I am
>he points the way to camp
>start to remember who I am and go to camp
>took a couple days before I felt right

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>10
>fucking around on the hills in a dessert
>running all over the place jumping over shit
>do a running jump over a cactus
>hit a sandy patch on a rock on the other side
>start falling down a slope
>go over an edge and finally grab onto a rock
>look down
>300m drop onto rocks
>thank you rock

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...

>took big poop
>super stinky
>literally almost died from smell

>be me
>driving to work on country side road
>I'm early so I'm going about 90 km/h instead of the usual 100-110 km/h
>there's a small hill that's steep enough that you can't see the other side of it and make any overtaking near it
>as I'm coming over the top I'm suddenly facing a car overtaking at about 120 km/h from the opposite lane
>for a split second I stare directly into his eyes and he has the most concentrated stare I've ever seen, totally committed to completing this overtaking and not killing himself and me in the process
>I brake hard and swerve to the right, narrowly avoiding him
>if I had gone my usual speed I would have crashed into him as I'm driving a heavy piece of shit car with 20 year old brakes
>I would also 100% have died due not wearing a seatbelt, my shit cars crash safety and that he was driving a volvo brick
>still to this day drive 110 km/h on that road

I was driving home from a research trip in Utah with my (at the time) GF behind the wheel and another guy asleep in the back. We were in a shitty work Tahoe loaded with about 1500lbs of rocks and gear and were driving on this terrible windy road with no guard rails and ~300 foot drop offs. She was about to go around a corner and was trying to set the auto in a lower gear to slow us down and save the brakes when it fucked up and shut off the engine. So there we were headed towards a huge drop off with no power brakes, no power steering and a scared prissy girl behind the wheel.

Luckily I was a driving instructor for years in college and was able to keep her calm enough to double foot the brakes while I helped her fight the steering wheel. We missed going over the edge by about 2 feet. I'm 100% sure with the drop and all of the equipment in the back that we would have been crushed.

A few hours later when we got home we had the best "glad we are still alive" fuck

>I miss that girl

Did the guy in the back wake up?

no. he was a real piece of shit that never did any work, just slept. We'd catch him napping on the job all the time

When I was 17 it was a lot of fun time and those things to be done in a few minutes or even though the kids to get to know if there was no one comes out and I was trying not sure if you would have been together for the next minute of course you were wondering if I would be a good girl who was a little deeper into my life has a lot of friends to be 66inches but its just got a good idea I just got a little bit off my meds so much so much I want us all over it to the point that we can do anything about the tomatoes do it all right away so that the food will get the picture with it to you about to say its just because of it today she has been a little different and it seems to get better than I was trying and it is so I will not get it paid to get to hang up on the way she has to be in her sleep and she has some friends who knows what you are going on my face then I'll get home and brought her out and then I'll have some award and a career of her body in my own hands and then to get her stardom in a bit more than a good one in the first half hours and I think she's 6.

I will never forget that day .

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What the fuck am I reading

>Be 22yo me
>Have been massively alcohol since some trauma when I was about 16
>Been dating some chick for awhile
>Chick cheats
>Proceed to pack all my shit and GTFO
>Get smashed
>Decide to drive somewhere for some reason
>Pass out behind wheel
>No seatbelt
>Bounce over airbag and smash head into windshield, splitting skull
>First responders said they could see my brain when he got to the scene
>Coma.exe
>Doctors tell family that I'm more than likely not gonna wake up, and they should pull the plug
>Family wants to give me a week or so longer before doing so
>Wake up
>New appreciation for life, motivate again, in control of alcohol consumption, in a healthy relationship with a smart, sane chick
>That near-death-experience being a turning point for people is no joke

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Yes

Are you having a stroke?

I crashed a motorcycle into a tree a few months ago. Headed towards it, I thought I was a goner. Miraculously my shoulder was the sole impact point with the tree. I spent a few days in the hospital. I had a horrible concussion from hitting my head on the ground. My shoulder has a big cyst inside it now from the impact but that’s about it. All the doctors kept telling me it was a miracle that I had my head or even my shoulder intact. My buddy still tells me to this day that while he watched me collide with the tree he kept thinking “wow , Tony’s just died infront of me” LOL it’s funnny as hell when we’re fucked up and he tells the story. He told me I didn’t wake up from blacking out for a solid couple minutes and thought I was dead

ay tone

Damn Fine, Man!

>be 9yr old me
>playing at crowded ymca pool
>friends and I are all climbing up the diving board, into pool, repeat as fast as possible
>to make the trip quicker we are jumping in close to the edge
>hit my chin on the edge
>wake up lying on the bottom of the pool
>somehow swim up and hang on the edge
>no one even noticed

>homeless
how did you become the working class again?

>be me 30 y.o
>today
>waking up
>standing up
>slip over a pizza box from yesterday
>fell on the ground
>sprain my right hand
>start /fit/ from today on so no more pizza service because it can kill me

>be me swimming in river
>start drowning
>decide i don't want to die yet
>just swim normally
>mfw i dont die.

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>Be me, 22
>Be electrician apprentice
>Working on ladder near the leading edge of a six story fall
>Sprinkler Fitter is hauling his pipes around and bumps my ladder Three Stooges style
>Over the edge I go
>Harness catches and I jerk to a stop
>Hard Hat flies off and tumbles down the concrete floor below and shatters
>Huge ass laborer pulls my ass back up to the deck.
>I go home for the rest of the day with pay

Now I am a journeyman and am loving life. Remember kids, always tie the fuck off.