ITT:

no please
nononono

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You found them!

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You gonna get that?

>Finally, nobody in the garage...
*zzzzip*

I-I'm finished!

Based

Why the fuck is nobody else cleaning any dishes around here

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Hey, which one of you stole OP's fuckatron automatic dildo. He won't leave me alome and keeps asking for me to fuck him. Its getting annoying.

Also we need more milk. I had the last of it this morning

eh fuck off the god damn landline I'm tryna download N64 roms

i hope its crunchy user

Hey who replaced all the artwork in this house with porn everywhere?

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I've just finished mopping the kitchen but now it's covered in beans

WHERES MY GOD DAMN BANANA?!

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>wake up
>walk downstairs
there is shit on the walls because user got called a fat neck beard
>walk into the kitchen
there is nothing everything has been sold, there a few bums in the living room od'ing

>quietly brings 800 lbs of fertilizer to the basement

OP here. Found it, no need to worry.

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Anyone got some ketamin?

care if i join in?

>smokes all of OP's weed

>Whatcha doin'?

You can have it, that was just a phase

No.

you either hide it or make it available, bitch.

>Throw party
>Buy tons of booze, drugs, drinks, food
>Set up music and stereo system
Nobody comes

>strangles the nosy user and hides him in the walls

Get out of my fucking room! Can't you see I'm fucking Minecraft?

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FUCK OFF OUTTA MY ROOM I'M HAVING A WANK

>Flushes the toilet while user(s) is/are showering

Ey I ain't no snitch so I won't rat you but can I add a couple pounds to that real quick. Just finished some taco bell and there's a fucking line to the bathroom.

>Get 20 postitues for all anons in house
Your welcome anons

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Sorry, user! I'll just look away...

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Hey, did user summon a demon again? My bed won’t stop shaking

Serves you fucking right. That's money that could go into fixing the fucking plumbing after OP broke the toilet. No go try to sell those drugs and booze we'll put that food and drink into a meal.

thanks my nigga, she sent a pic before coming

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All right. I'm going to mow the lawn. Have a beer ready when I'm finished, bitches.

sorry

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STOP WITH ALL THE FUCKING NOISE BOOMER, I CANT SLEEP

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>Vacuum and do dishes
You lazy fucks

Who stole the cheetos from my tree house? You know it's my private space anons! Invites only

Fine if you wont share your goddamn cheetos! Fuck you bro

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*Ding Dong* Did somebody order pizza?

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>move huge pile of dirty dishes from room and put them next to the sink

Guys I need help, the car won't start

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>quietly sands down all the furniture one by one and paints it with three layers of white blanc

>looks at dishes covered in cum

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Hey everybody RENTS DUE!!! WHAT DO WE DO! WHAT DO WE DO!

Kill the landlord

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any of u bois seen my boxers

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Who keeps pissing on the toilet seat?

blame the guy who cant speak english

Thanks, man. It's hot as a crotch out there.

sorry whiteboi... its a little hard
mind lending a hand, boi?

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Why is it crooked user?

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fuck it's getting crowded in here
how many tenants are you allowed in one unit?
it's like 30 bucks each at this point

Who let a nigger in the house?

It's looking for something to steal

Shh, if we don't move, It can't see us.

why is the back yard full of bikes

WHO TOUCHED MY PORN?!?

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Guys
This van has been parked outside all night and morning.. no one has come out of it

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>Plumber
Oh well there's obviously nothing to worry about.

I'll take care of it

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Keshawn moved in last week. He's been busy

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Probably just some fucking mormons. Just go spray them with the hose, that always sends them packing.

We need more bunkbeds

>drinks all milk and leave empty box in fridge

I kek'd hard

>leaves a couple of kitchen cabinets and drawers partially open

>Wake up in morning
>Pour delicious bowl of lucky charms
>Reach for milk
>Feel its empty

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you can barrow my cum jar

>Sit in couch with 6 other anons watching some shit on tv
>Hear someone screaming in kitchen
>Laugh to myself

Sorry guys for the smell. Meth is hard too make in the basement.

Does anyone else hear Satan talking on that record is playing backwards?

O-o

I see you're new to communal living. Assholes always drink the milk. NEVER pour your cereal before checking the milk first.

I live in the basement.

>500 on the first of the month, will be left on the mantel piece
>don't bother me or knock on the door
>I have several hobbies so don't worry about odd noises
>just leave me alone, I don't want to be bothered
>I don't eat much and I work at night so don't bother me during the day for meals/take out etc
>I only eat branflakes, pickles and tins of sardines help yourself if you want, I buy in bulk
>don't knock on the basement door or bother me, just take them, leave me alone.

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Who's the asshole that stays out by my door when I have a fat chick over? Give me some fucking privacy, we can hear you.

His name was Robert Pualson.

I thought we all agreed on no niggers in the fucking house.

Need to fap to something user

Thanks man! Let's go grab a few beers when I'm done, I'll buy.

Sorry for the smell. I will move my setup too the outside shed. You seem like a good person so I will give you some meth as a compensation for the smell.

However can you please turn off that record that keeps playing backwards off?
Thx

>five fat guys start coming to the door

>Knock on basement door and run to the kitchen
>Can hear something comming
>Ground is shaking
>Whatthafuckdidijustdid.mp4

Thanks man. Do you want some meth for the prostitutes?

Well fuck off man. I'll show you some pics or something, it's distracting.

Nah, I'm good, thank though.

Who the fuck are they!!!

Who invited them?

No prob. I will move everything now.
"Hasn't blinked at all during the entire conversation"

Sorry user, that's actually my 3d printer, I am printing the perfect woman, slice by photo-realistic slice.

Someone stole my collection of dead flies from the bathroom windowsill, I spent the whole day arranging them AND I WANT THEM BACK.

Only if you blow a hit into a prostitutes asshole so I can suck it out

THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING!!! ARE THEY ARE SPY'S FROM THE MORMON CHURCH?!??

It's us, we all live in the house and are too fucking lazy to cook so we just order pizza.

Shit sorry user I got hungry

A noble goal. I just want to make meth

[angry nose breathing]

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Invite me in next time

Did not recognize you guys,where were you all this time?

Oh ... I normally don't need to eat so I will pass on the pizza.

Guys, my dad just sent me a text saying he wants to do a check on the house to make sure we aren't ruining it. How bad are your bathrooms? He'll flip his shit if it's bad.

>take matches
>roll up paper towel and light it on fire in the sink
>updraft sends a burning piece of paper flying
>instant housefire

uh oh

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GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!

I swear to God if he checks out the shed I will ripped his penis off with the other end of a hammer and turn them into a woman

Do I smell smoke?

I just stay in my room 90% of the time when I'm home. Unless booze is involved, I just like to chill and be left alone.

GET THE HOES

I'm just going to keep it locked, I doubt he'll check it.

OH NO!

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I seen this earlier didnt want to say anything so I locked the door. Dont go in there

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>Runs over to fire and tries to pee it out

I will pay you in meth if you keep him out.

Atleast the nigger will die

Who are those guys,do they live here? Oh by the way we are out of milk. Someone left empty box in fridge

Damn it, John just got a rifle and he mentioned to me to stay away from the apartments down the street, the one with all the spics. He might be off his meds again, ugh. Just a heads up.

I'm Ry the meth guy. I live in the shed outside primary.

We need milk guys

Hello sir I will like to graciously purchase all of your fantastic methamphetamine, if you will!

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I take xanax or booze, but thanks.

God dammit we told him to stay away from them

HE CAN'T COME IN IF WE KEEP SHITTING // HE CAN'T SEE IT IF HE CAN'T COME IN.

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Do you think he might be able to get me a rifle in exchange for a large quantity of meth that I can make him?

You a cop?

Damn it, I need my chocolate milk.

I got a milk guy but he ain't cheap ya feel me?

Finnaly someone that's able to keep the money flow in this house

Right

^_^

Milk coming right up

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A man of good taste

Ill take 3 gal of his best whole milk, Ill suck his dick if I have to

STOP STEALING MY GIRLFRIENDS PANTIES WHEN WE GO SWIMMING! I'm so sick of this shit.

I have no problem sharing my fleshlight but whoever used it last, you gotta clean it out!

Would a cop be as good looking and charming as me my good sir?

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I went to neighbours house down the street he's got milk but he was not pleased with me "borrowing" his pickles

Yes.... (Clocks a 1911 behind my back) you do...

Guys Im thinking of turning the garage into a sex dungeon

Oh you're gonna have to suck his dick, and I'm next ya feel me?

Fuck him

I do love me some vicodin or tramadol as well.

Pit your pants down i need to check if you are not a jew
>Pit his pants down
>Gun falls from behind him

Let me get some meth from Ry the meth guy first

If you do can I please take my anger out on some of the prostitutes when they shoot up my meth? I have a micropenis and I'm really insecure about it. :(

>Posters 40
guys we're reaching critical tenant mass

He's dealing with a client right now

Mmmmmm. I don't think I have that kind of connection. I primarily exchange firearms for meth.

Put the gun away......

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I already have a big pit in the backyard dug out just in case we kill a couple of them, so yes be my guest

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!

That's what the basement is for, Trevor.

>B me
>wake up at 9pm
tummyrumbles.mp4
>scream "mmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmm"NoMomOhYeah.bit
>crawl out of my room 4 months no shower piss bottles roll around while I crawl scream
I WANT TENDIES

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A gun fell out of your pants!!!

WE NEED TO DIG IN BASEMENT. But i'm not going in there. Last guy that knocekd on the door got draged down and never came back.

Thxs

user lives in the basement and he doesnt like to be bothered
I will respect his wishes because Im high on meth fucking prostitutes

I only have meth

Do you want some more meth too take the meth off?

WE GOT PROBLEM AT THE FRONT DOOR. HELP RYU

I don't feel so well

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Firearms you say? Fuck, hook me up. I'm looking for a .45 1911, got anything?

It's my lighter!!! It's supposed to look cool while I'm lighting up my meth and jerking my mini weenie

I need a cock to snort it off of though

Hey i want meth but can you stick a pickle in my asshole while i rape a few kids bud? Also can you piss in your own pants? I know it tickles.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!!

This guy needs meth to feel better

Use mine it was i side of a kid

I was just going to give it to you for free.... Jesus Christ

Did someone say meth?

Thanks user I need kid poop in my meth

Yeah uses his

Omg i love meth!! I love you fags so much. Stick the meth in an enema tube and shoot it up my ass!!!

GUYS!!! Can we chill out on the meth talk.... someone's at the door...

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oh shit, that's where I left my Monster last month

>Tackle the shit out of the guy with pants down
>He puts finger in my ass
>REEEEE.mp4
HELP ME GUYS

Oh shit. Stick the meth in my ass quick!

I got this guys calm down

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Laugh while prostitute is still sucking my soft dick

Damn thsts a hawt gun. Stick it in my ass for fun! As i smoke this meth baby

Here take mine.

"Tosses the gun to you"

this guy earlier with a creepy a smile and a comb over was trying to arrest me by pretending that he was a convincing European man luckily I have a 357 as well on me. Free of charge because you are nice to me. ^_^

PIGS At THE FRONT DOOR. HIDE THE METH. TO THE BASEMENT,NOW

Maybe it's more of those prostitutes user ordered

I'm ordering the good shit

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Dammit i want mine to have pubes on it you fucker!!

Should we let them in and rape them, theres 45 people living here all high on meth

Pineapple

Run!!!!

stop wanking it in the shower you fucking cunts, you are clogging the drain

I Kek'd irl

House too small. Leave.

That's why we wank off in the shower so it unclogs the drain you idiot!

Hey fuck you, you can have bear piss on it instead

We almost out of space. Did you saw the yard? Its like 48 bikes because only 7 guys including ryu have driving license

I don't wank in the shower, faggot.

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I took a hairy shit in the tub earlier and didn't bother with it too sorry bud my fault. My asshole is stretched now though wanna stick your penis in my asshole bud?

Fuck man I just got off the streets

(secretly ignites a bomb that's about to make the house into a giant crater in a minute, casually walks out not telling anyone anything while lighting up a blunt)

B**** I'm the one that's providing the rent around here and extra for the rest of the other 44 people!!!

Thank God I live in the shed

lol wagecuck

We still need milk anons

Someone's got to do it what are you a f****** commie

>get the fuck out of my house

just ask the cops are out front if they can take you to the store to buy f****** milk bread them with the meth

The bomb is almost off,Police is at the door ,everybody is on meth and your worrying about milk

what the fuck happened to this place

>"This shit again? I'l get the bull tranquilizer.."

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Hey guys is it cool if i take a shit and rub it on the walls in here? I'm really high off that meth. It just sounds like a cute idea to make the house look more decorative. I'll put boogers on the ceiling too. Plus I'm not paying rent ever again.

takes a huge drag of my blunt

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i love this board

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>6am

>wake up

>get mad because some faggot woke up to early,drink alcohol until i can fall asleep again

>calls mom
>need ride mom
>wait outside high on meth for mom to pick me up

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Got the fucking milk

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watching this video on computer

youtube.com/watch?v=Gd1aPpBu1BY

do you guys think robots will ever have rights?

Hey. I'm the milk guy. Yall need some milk?

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thanks for the free beer

Well there goes our house

My lucky charms are dry

Meth

Totaly understandable

Sorry, bye. Go camp under the bridge.

looks like the newfags ITT beat you to it already

i just busted a nut in your lucky charms,are they better now? no homo

good now where do we go

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airbnb @ Uncle Lester's apartment

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Lets go to the neighbour,he will take us right?

Why always have to live, where have wait 2hrs in row, for share of bath to take shit?

70% of people died, does anyone knows some good place that we can rent?

I just shit and piss in the yard. Fuck life we are all animals with suits and ties.

sure, i brought a elon musk flamethrower, lets burn him down and rob his house

lets rent your mom's house.we can all gang bang her

So whats the plan, its like 12 people here and almost everybody is on meth

I shit in my bed i like it it's warm

This

instead of burning the house down,lets just steal their meth

We can assault the police station and take it over as our own? After all we're the ones that paid for it as taxpayers so we should have the right to live there? Also we have a f*** ton of guns banned drugs to numb the pain when we get shot ^_^

burn the neighbor
have the methheads rob his house
casually keep walking finishing this blunt
roll another blunt
go to 's mom and bang her

we can make a new breaking bad sequel

And not banned

You should know better, where such Gomorrah has to end! You should let Jesus in your life, bro!

I did I came from an orphanage of the Catholic church and I was raped every day by the preacher

Don't bother with these guys. They're all the same. Come to my room and I'll show you my pet snake

lets grand theft auto a bus and all move in at his moms house after banging her

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Can we just smoke all the meth at once and have a big fat orgy? I really want someone here to stick a Slick Thick Dick in my tight slimy butthole. No homo.

Pick it up now. Leaving it will spoil it.

Ben Dover

Agreed. I will continue to operate my meth shack on site and live outside in the garage of his mother's house.

Thanks man! I owe you big time.

And still you don't understand?! I'll pray for your ass to find enlightenment, user.

Agreed

Who ordered the Nazi uniform? It's in the living room.

off we go

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Thanks but I'm a lost cause.

How bout we have a mobile meth lab/living space as we use our collective funds to acquire a semi-trailer truck, we can also make "legally questionable" modifications to said truck (mainly reinforce the truck with armor similar to the killdozer's).

Me the meth head

You're exercising for hell, that's smart, user!

Perhaps. It will be expensive. Even my business wouldn't be able to afford it.

:(

watermelon quads

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>Be me
>Where are we going?
>Need meth
>Hope new home is going to have some milk

Nothing ever gets really lost, user.

We can upgrade the bus

Don't worry user.

( Pulls out a small milk container and hands it too you)

I got this off the dead cops lunch box after the explosion killed them

^_^

Here's some milk

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I was hoping for some other elemelon, like earth or fire, but thanks anyway

>Takes the milk and starts drinking
>"You are the best house mates i ever got"
>Gets comfortable

thank you tastes great

sorry about the sofa

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So bone hurting good

the house is on fire and everyone dies

The end

Ya my lucky charms are dry

Any dead hookers? We can put them in here

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Beautifull ending with bus driving into the sunset, to anons mom house.

^_^

With meth and a couple dead hookers

I agree

Why would you insist on downloading the one retro game library that wont emulate well? Get that glitchy Goldeneye outta here

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Jesus Christ, Jerome! I told you ten times to get that humongous thing out of my face

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That basement's mine, anyone who enters it gets shot

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Don't worry boomer. It's where I keep the c4 for when it's time to make a move on Osama. Charlie parked it. Over.

Here take this -Tosses over a XM556 Microgun-

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I'm going to put up the Christmas lights, it's only 4 months away and I hate putting them up when it's freezing outside.

Underrated. Still who brought the fucking lamp. I picture pizza boxes and darkness.

>This is why we don't invite you as often anymore user

Apparently there's a few other anons in the basement.
Ah well, more experiments for sie führer, and danke

sorry my cat keeps shitting on the counter

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She's not fat enough if you can hear stuff, rookie

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Why is there cat shit on the counter again I'm trying to sleep

And who brought the nigger with the crooked dick that keeps looking at my weird

A light in the dark
Figuterally

Shit sorry I only bought orange lights but we can use them for holloween and Christmas

Guys we need to take turns playing vidya we don’t want to blow a fuse

I need a socket to blow up my doll to. Anybody want to join in fucking my blowup doll?

Entrepreneur is his middle name. Where would we be without him. I say cheers to Matty Meth!