Hey guys, so my 42nd birthday is tomorrow. My wife has offered me some birthday sex options:

Hey guys, so my 42nd birthday is tomorrow. My wife has offered me some birthday sex options:

One, allow me to do whatever I want to her (within reason, not going to let 5 guys fuck her while I choke her to death), but including anal, face fucking, salad tossing, light bondage, and general dirty whore shit. The dirty whore shit isn't part of our usual twice a week sex schedule so having her act like a fucking whore is a huge bonus birthday gift for me. She's done this many times over the years, and this "anything goes" sex happens about twice a year. Yeah, I know, married life, try it sometimes before you criticize.

Two, mostly straight sex, nothing too kinky, and probably a blowjob as foreplay - BUT I can film it with full lighting and how ever many digital cameras I want, handheld Go Pro, whatever.. and she'll act like it's a porno movie, basically give me jerk off material for the future.

My wife is a great lady, but she's playing a bit of a game and I know if I call her out on it, I'll probably get a half assed version of either. The only reason she's offering the video option is because I've harped on her about it over the years. She has a job in the media (anchor for a TV station in a top 10 market) so she's 100% against any recordings of her because she thinks it''ll somehow get out.

She's a smart enough woman to prevent me from doing both unless I hide the cameras somewhere and even then it would be a crappy video with shit audio. I'm married with kids so I can't just "DO IT BOTH AND FUCK THAT BITCH, YOU BETA CUCK!"

Whaddya think? Hardcore slut sex where anything goes, but I can never relive it other than in my mind, or a decent homemade porn video that I can watch and jerk off to anytime I want?

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Well you already get the anything goes sex right? Does she offer to get filmed twice a year? Would she be down to wear a mask or some other facial covering so she feels more comfortable in the video?

solve your problem with sleep assault. she takes an ambian, some nyquill, whatever, konks out, you do anything and everything to her while she sleeps and you film every filthy second of it.

Divorce her

Dunno bro. I'll pick first option everytime. As I can say for myself and my gf. That video will be eating dust on your memory card. Trust me. You'll watch it once or twice and get bored of it.

sharpie in the pooper

Yeah I'm thinking option 1. The video stuff is fine, but I really think she'll hold back knowing that the camera is on her.

On further thought, I know she'll get high and I can probably get away with "more" on camera than usual, but again it's not like it's going to be the crazy salad tossing/face fucking/anal romp that I can get away with when I don't use the camera.

In case you were wondering about her identity, well, she's a weekend anchor (that fills in during the week) with dark hair and big boobs in a large city in the central time zone, USA. If you've seen her on air, you probably think, yeah that lady fucks. And she does.

This sounds reasonable to me. You already get to fuck her on the regular basis, so by watching it, you'd only be reliving what you already do twice a week.

Option one. Put it in her pooper.

Are you a poorfag?

Just go get a GoPro and hide it and then choose option 1

I second this. When I get (slightly) similar option, I definitely like the slutout option

Ask her sister or an other female if she wants to join you.
Have one on the kitchentable, and the other on the sofa. Give both Anal, and make them suck you after each time you switch.

> Remember to greentext it after.
> or even better, take request while.

(Men who help with the dishes or housework have more sex than thoes who don´t)
independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/couples-who-share-housework-fairly-have-more-sex-research-finds-a7096261.html

>Being married
>Not getting every type of sexual pleasure you want

Why are you married OP? What is the benefit of marriage if you can't have whatever sex you want whenever you want?
>kys

Seriously?

Divorce and get a girl in her early 20's.

Best thing i have done in my life.

Sex slut but setup cam somewhere hidden since she has to play a "role" and do what you say you can pick the venue.
Angles won't be the greatest but fuck me if find amateur shot footage more hotter than proper Pro camera angles and lighting unless it's a JAV

Porn video and post it for us Yea Forumsros. Obviously.

I've always wondered about this. Anytime I hear about married couples the women consistently have their husbands on a fucking schedule. Not even in marriages alone just in relationships in general. If the woman doesn't want it then it's never happening. Shouldn't it be 50 50 kind of thing? What's the fucking point of it if I have to have a schedule and have her treat sex like some kind of reward or chore, like i am a fucking child?

Fuck a prostitute.
Your wife is giving you that like a gift.... Like she didn't want to.
Fuck a fucking shamale. It's cheaper and you will see if it is aroused easier

"she thinks it''ll somehow get out."

Yeah, and you're the cause.

I agree. I've just fucked my gf 6 times this year. One of them was in exchange for making the buys of the week in the grocery.
She paid me with sex thousands of times these year. Now I realized it I think that it don't worth it. What am I? A dog?
I'm really tired of it.
Then I become infidel. I don't know if the girl Ive been meeting do the same to his boyfriend. I think that she doesn't but the facts point in the other direction

>Strange game
>The only winning move is not to play
I say you spend your birthday doing shit you want to do without her because sex in marriage is not a negotiable commodity and by playing along you are giving her power to use sex as a tool.

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You became an infidel? What?

Estás traduciendo la palabra infiel completamente mal

En inglés se dice unfaithful no infidel, infidel es lo que nos llaman los talibanes

Depends on what you're into really. if she was my wife and I had a wish, I would have her go to one of those nasty gangbang auditions or just a bigger cities swinger gangbang meetups. I would have her stay an entire night if just nasty fucking until she's all raw and worn out. she'd not be allowed to shower after that or in between.

Then, when she comes back home, she'd probably not be looking into sex at all,but there's me waiting, high on coke or GHB, ready for yet another entire fuck marathon with my filthy cumrag, just me alone or together with my best buddy (you know, the one my gf can't stand) but high as a kite with infinite endurance and time...

>The only winning move is not to play
Applies to so many things in life. Good thing ol Matt was their to save us. I would have fucked Kristy Alley on top of that console so good that they would award me a fuckin medal.

>anal, face fucking, salad tossing, light bondage, and general dirty whore shit
>Let
Did I read that right?
>Mfw he says let
Wtf is wrong with you? Get your ass in shape and get a side bitch who will fuck you correctly or learn how to fuck!
Motherfucker Let. Get the fuck out of my face with that shit.
>It's my birthday
Congrats. Youre such a beta your wife doesn't want to fuck you so she uses sex as a transaction.

>consensual sex in the missionary position

>our usual twice a week sex schedule
> Try it sometimes before you criticize

You're kidding, right?

> you probably think, yeah that lady fucks. And she does.

Apparently not much! 2 days/week duty sex.

How depressing and sad.

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Just get some hidden cameras man, that's about the best thing to do it sounds like.

sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation