I wanna be Janeane Garofalo's girlfriend

Shes opened for me at my shows. Before all this me too bullshit I use to ask if i could jerk off in front of her and she would agree then i would bust my load in the green room tree.

You do realize, don't you, that she is in her late-fifties (She admits to 55) and not exactly girlfriend material

I was the pa on one of her movies back in the 90s. I won't say which of course. We bumped into each other at craft services and really hit it off. I got a huge do me vibe from her. Like she was lonely or sad and needed attention, you know the type. Her snarky attitude not withstanding she had an underlying nerdy personality.

Should I go on?

I think she's a delight.

Yeah, go on.

Nothing worng with that, if you're 31.

Ditto.

>>OK so over the next few weeks we got pretty close. even meeting up on occasion outside the studio for lunch a few times. It wasn't unusual for relationships like this to exist professionally in Hollywood and for the most part she kept the conversation light and focused on the business. this all changed one night when a bunch of us from the crew went out for drinks one Saturday and a few of the actors including Janeane joined us.

About 15 years ago she made out with a friend of mine. He was 17 at the time. He said her breath was not that great and she moaned like a disingenuous pornstar then complained when he didn't do everything exactly right. I think they hooked up at least one more time that he didn't tell me about. He was going to take me to meet her as well but my parents wouldn't let me leave the house that night (I was 15 then)

Oh he did say that she made him cum and she swallowed but he was kinda weirded out by how robotic she was about it

>>It all started out innocently enough, drinks some food a few laughs and a bunch of trash talk which was the thing back then. She partied pretty hard drinking doing coke and smoking a few joints out back of the bar with us. Once she got a good buzz going she started to act really slutty toward me when she thought no one was paying attention. She did a lousy job of disguising it and some of the guys from the crew whom started to egg me on about it, saying things like shes gonna give you some and you should go for it that sort of thing.

Very creative.

>>I played it really cool though as though it didn't interest me because i was young and it was the nineties and that was the overall attitude of the day. When in fact I was full on interested in banging any actress I could especially one who was as famous as her. If any one was aware of my bullshit they didnt let on. They all believed i was going to be a gentlemen about it. So the night goes on she gets absolutely trashed along with about half of us who came out that night. We close the bar and head out on the streets looking for something to eat. As we're walking she puts her arm under mine. and shes really turning up the charm aka the sluttiness. I am very diamonds at this point, Im more then a little drunk and eager and could give a fuck about who knew it.

>>I suggest to her we head back to her place which wasn't far and call it a night. She agrees and the two of us awkwardly say our good byes to the fellas and head off together. Not long after we are at her apartment which is a shit hole because A it wasnt that nice a place and B she lived like an absolute pig. The place had an overall stink of staleness, Cigarettes and BO to it. She had a lot of trash strewn about and dirty close everywhere. I was standing in the door about to make an excuse to jet because I honestly felt a bit repulsed by the scene when she must have detected my intent and basically threw her self at me and gave me the biggest mot open mouthed wet sloppy tongue kiss ever while shoving her hand down my shorts and grabbing a hold of my cock. This bought the diamonds back and it was on.