>Stepdad Chad took me out for "bro's night" cause i overheard mommy telling him to
>Mommy said I needed male bonding and that she wanted Chad to take more of a father figure role
>It wasn't until we were in the car that Chad dropped the bomb that we weren't going to Wendies but to a new restaurant, Chad's favorite restaurant
>I reeee'd and stamped my feet and punched the dash. Chad told me to shut the fuck up or he would kick me out of his car and leave me in the snow
>I didn't bring any shoes, and I was really hungry from all my reee, so I decided to humor Chad until tendies were delivered
>I slide the back of my sweatpants down and made a little poo smear on Chad's cloth seat
>It was dark, so Chad had no idea my 300lbs+ was permanently grinding the runny poo deep into his car upholstery
>Chad rolled down the window and told me to stop farting in his car
>As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot i saw it was called Hooters
>Not a good sign. Tendies come from chickens, not owls
>"Order me my tendies", I told Chad
>Chad said he would also order me a beer too since I was over 30 but I said "no, choccy milk".
>He told me the don't have choccy milk so i reee'd a weak little reeee cause I was extremely famished and anyway they had Mountain Dew. Maybe this place wasn't too bad.
>WRONG.
>The tendies promised weren't tendies at all. THEY HAD BONES!
>I flung the nasty bonies and began to reeee and reeee harder than I had ever ree'd that night
>"I WANT TENDIES! I WANT TENDIES! I WANT TENDIES!"
>"TAKE ME TO WENDY'S NOW OR I'LL TELL MOMMY YOU TOOK ME TO A STRIP CLUB!"
>Someone said "Get him out of here. He stinks like shit and he's not wearing any shoes"
>They were talking about Chad, but Chad was wearing shoes. Even the people at this restaurant were stupid
>Chad put me in the back seat and took me home, but not before going through the Wendy's drive through
Checkmate. eating my tendies right now as I type this and I can hear mommy and Chad yelling at each other upstairs
Stepdad Chad took me out for "bro's night" cause i overheard mommy telling him to
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sage
do you fucking faggots really think this shit is funny as you're hitting post
Eatin' tendies and stroking it to BLACKED as we speak. Is there any better way to spend a Saturday night?
Yes. This shit is gold
it is absolutely not and you must be 14 if you think it is
cute pic
Do you even read it it the guys voice and imagine the scenario? Imagine Cartman or some other nerdy/fatass character speaking.
no I literally feel repulsed reading these faggy greentexts
all I imagine is a teenager trying way too hard to be funny
Its not supposed to be funny It's so cringy and awful and then you see it from the guys perspective and hes like "HahA! showed Chad!" got my tendeeeeees
Once you go through that entire chain of perspectives the cringe comes alive and you truly understand what it is to Crave the Tendees
you can justify it however you want it's not funny and it's honestly absurd that someone would spend the time typing it out
Bump, for funniness
>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game
>ask mummy to drive me to Gamestop
>says she drank too much of her adult grape juice so she cant drive
>decide to go myself
>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies
>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)
>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
>see cousin dylan walking home from school with his friends
>wave hello but he pretends not to notice me (lol he's so shy)
>get to Gamestop, grab a copy of Super Mario Party, and head to cashier
>tell him i would like to purchase this game using my accumulated good boy points
>he gives me a weird look and then asks for my Gamestop Powerup points rewards card
>huh? i don't have that. its what mummy must use to keep my GBP on
>ask him if i can pay with my chicken tendies
>"uh.. no, you cant pay with chicken, that's not legal tender"
>"WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY CHICKEN TENDERS, WTF YOU THINK, THAT THESE ARE NUGGETS OR SOMETHING?"
>he tells me he's calling security, so i grab the the game and run, get on my bike, and flee
>get somewhere safe, check out game, THE CASE IS FUCKING EMPTY, IT WAS JUST FOR DISPLAY
>so angry, i take a big meaty shit inside the case and smush it shut
>throw it on sidewalk and watch as some excited kid and his mom pick it up
>lel not a complete loss i guess
>get home, police car there
>mom is hysterical
>"user THERE YOU ARE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??"
>tell her of my adventure as she hugs me
>get extra tendies for dinner that night
A good quality tendies green text. Bump
Terrible, uninspired drivel
>3:00am
>watching some based icarly like I usually do
>also playing minecraft xbox edition
>get distracted from building my poo poo pee pee themed city in creative mode by miranda cosgroves qtness
>pull out my weenie and start masturbating
>imagine what she looked like as a toddler while im doing this
>its too much for me
>realize before I finish that mommy said she is tired of cleaning up my semen from the carpet
>quickly grab one of my shit jugs and cum directly into it
>dont miss a drop
>mommy comes in at 3:01 like she usually does to clean up my mess
>"mommy look!" i exclaim while i lift the shit jug high
>she looks confused, but then notices what ive done
>"o-okay a-user. thats a g-good boy." she says
>"what do I get mommy?" I ask while steping towards her
>"a-a good boy point a-user" she says as she slowly starts to shake
>I run directly into her knocking her over to get through the door
>dont have time to put my weenie back into my undies
>arrive at the fridge panting because it is like a whole 30 feet away
>mom comes up limping with a tears on her cheeks
>she reaches to the top shelf of the fridge because Im only 5'2 and cant reach
>she gives me my tendies with mayonnaise just the way I like them
I stoped cumming in my shit jugs after that though. it was too much work lifting them up
This post is a shitjug
>Monday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>user you're 33, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>IM A GOD BOY I HAVE GOOD BOY POINTS GIVE ME CHICKEN TENDIES
>user please..
>IM DAVIE YOURE GOLIATH
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>YOUR LACK OF TENDIES SEALS YOUR DOOM, I LOOSE MY BOWELS WITH A BOOM!
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of piping hot chili
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my still-erect big boy weenie peenie
>GIVE ME EXTRA GOOD BOY POINTS OR ELSE ILL CHOKE YOU MUMSIE
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>waddle back to my room and play some XBox
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I put that bitch in her place
>mfw I always get my way.
not mad just pointing out how gay these threads are
Wow, dude thanks for your public service.
I'm sure the people who post in these threads have been convinced by your scathing critiques and will now only consume media approved by you first.
As someone who works with special needs adults, these threads just make me wonder if any of you realize that dudes exactly like this exist, and their mother's lives are complete and utter hell.
Thank God, you finally understand
no problem nigger
Great thread boys. Don't listen to the "wwyd fb ig vsco post your daughter that you want to see blacked" retards.
> Be healthy 380 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Arrive at Gamestop, mom makes GBP transaction with the wagey behind the counter
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "user! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "user! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting everyone in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies
> gobble them up and waddle to living room
> mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> doesn't even poke me with the ouchie-medicine like she does everyday
> Decisive victory
Oof
Fukin gold
Best thing I’ve read all night. Next time leave the “I’m 300lbs and 30” until the end.
That's why it's funny, you tard wrangler
this. i think it's kind of an acquired taste thing for some ppl tho
>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my pants for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Mikasa-san afterwards
How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
no it's definitely not lol
>Up in the wee hours of Thursday morning
>been masturbating to Sailor Moon Crystal
>finish up and get the munchies
>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast this: youtube.com
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
>Double 50 piece with extra dipping sauce plus an M&M McFlurry to wash it down with
>Furiously gobble the entire thing in four minutes
>Crash for 12-hours
>Wake up just intime to see mum home from work
>She's exhausted as hell but brought me the same order without asking just to make sure I don't wake her again
>I do anyway
Kek fucking normalfags
My mommie will stand over me while i tug my big boy weenie. Today she was wearing a pretty red dress with pretty pink panties. It costs 10 GBP but it’s free sometimes if i go a whole week without crying. Sometimes she will suck on my big boy weenie while i eat my tendies. That costs 100 GBP though and a month of no crying. She just buyed me the new Nintendo Switch for Mario Maker 2. Her boyfriend gets mad at me when she’s not around. He won’t hit me though because I’m 35 and bigger than he is and the last time he hit me i made him eat one of my turds. I put 5 nydol in his beer and made a poopie in his mouth. He doesn’t make me get him beer anymore.
>3 PM
>wake up after all-nite playstation marathon
>feel the morning hungies
>expect my morning tendies left out by mummy before her wageslave time
>waddle my way into the kitchen
>no tendies
>mummy forgot my tendies
>anger fills my gelatinous body
>angry poopies overcome me and i poopsie on the floor
>smear poopsie all over floor and roll around in it
>lay there for a while
>the smell of hot, churned tendies-poopie fills the air
>wageslave mom returns home at 5 PM
>i tackle her and scream "BIG BOY HUNGIE FOR TENDIES"
>she screams out "user, WHAT HAPPENED?!"
>"MUMMY DIDN'T LEAVE MORNING TENDIES BIG BOY HUNGIE"
>she tries to reason with me as my shell of poopie cracks off covering her in dried poopies
>"A-user, I'm so sorry. I actually took the day of today to go on a d-date. There was a guy at the office, and..."
>"MUMMSIE WUMSIE IS MINE ME NEED TENDIES"
>angry poopsies water dribbles through my undie wundies
>"MUMMY MINE"
>poopie doopie makes my undies droopie until a hole bursts open releasing my tendies goop all over mummy
>mummy begins to cry and vomit
>i cover myself in poopsie and begin screeching
>mummy is covered in my liquid-poopsie, crying
>i smack her in the face with poopie covered man milkies
>mummy keeps and says "You're such a good, big boy, user. I'll get you tendies now, a-and I won't go out on any more dates."
>victory waddle back to beanbag chair and celebrate with more playstation
>mummy comes and serves me a triple tendie-dindin and tells me I'm her best boy
>mfw
>I do anyway
kek
>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom from when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for superior-minded betas to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves, her eyes tearing up
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and punch the shit out of her
>She's out cold
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, then write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."
>Wake up at 9pm after a particularly exhausting Minecraft session
>tummy is making hungry noises
>navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash
>make my way downstairs, peek into the living room
>mummy and new daddy are doing a special backwards hug on the sofa like uncle phil showed me once
>new daddy is making funny sounds like a steam train
>don't care, hungry
>"MUMMY MAKE ME BREKKIE BREK"
>mummy screams, new daddy swears and nearly falls off the sofa like a silly
>says to mummy "why is that retard still living here, isn't he like 30"
>I don't like being called a retard
>not since the incident with the toddler in mcdonalds
>feel my inner wolf break loose
>let out a mighty howl and try to rip off my creeper hoodie
>not strong enough in my hunger-weakened state
>new daddy is laughing, I'll fucking show him
>pull down my crusty cargo shorts and grab my tingly tummy tendie
>"GOLDEN WHIRLWIND, GO GO GO"
>start spinning like a beyblade and weeing as hard as I can
>mummy is screaming and crying, new daddy swears even louder and tries to grab me
>dodge him with my veteran CS reflexes but fall because I'm dizzy from malnourishment
>new daddy gets me in a headlock and starts punching me in the tummy
>he doesn't know I've been saving a satisfying tendie-and-dew-fuelled doodie for later
>bum explodes like a fat man in fallout 3 (I don't play 4 because it doesn't have my waifu Moira)
>new daddy is covered in doodie, he looks like a swamp monster
>he lets go and starts vomiting
>mummy is on the phone, I think she's calling 911, new daddy is trying to make her put the phone down and shouting something about "the meth you dumb bitch"
>crawl to the kitchen, everything is spinning and I feel faint
>"MUMMY MAKE TENDIES" I manage to shout before blacking out
>wake up locked inside the basement bad-boy cage next to a plate of hot tendies
>new daddy is gone
great success
See for example this one, im reading this one in Solid Snakes voice, like this guy is making calculating moves for every line due to each sentence being utilitarian and brief, like hes anylized exactly how hes gonna receieve those tendies
So one day mommies boyfriend came home. He punched he in the belly. Big mistake. I put 7 nydol in his beer and put the cap back on. I hid his other beer in the basement. He drinks beer angry about going to the store to buy more. While he’s gone i put other beer back in the fridge. He crashed mommies car. Sitting in jail for drunk driving. Go to the jail to get him. Mommie is at work. I put on my mario hat and go to pick him up with my bike. He can ride the handle bars. Go into jail. Walk into his cell. The guard let me in. He’s still sleeping. I poop in the toilet and wipe my bum. I took the tp took this picture, then wiped it on his face. I tell his friend in there that he touched my little brothers peepee. I giggle to myself and go wait outside for them to finish his papers. He had to go get stitches. On antibiotics for pink eye.
>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 6PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let loose my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to The Lion King
>mummy and new daddy are in the back row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"
And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
Total bullshit. I'm a Chad and we wouldn't leave your ass unkicked for two seconds. BTW, no Chad would ever date single mother with a kid living at home regardless of the kid's age. Doesn't happen. I'm an oldfag with one gf that has 4 boys, all out of the house. I have nothing to do with them. Manning them up is their dad's job. I don't do charity work. No Chad does.
If one of her kids were to move back home, I'd drop her like a rock.
Yeah, some checkmate. You're a beta boy for life.
Because you're a man and know that all these little tit-fed betas are fantasizing about being superior to guys like us. - Chad
Mommies boyfriend gets out of the hospital. Mommies mad cuz no car. I just love peanuts. Sitting in living room munching peanuts. He comes in yelling about the mess. Tells me “you’re going to die for that you little shit”. Goes into their bedroom to get the gun. I pooped in the chamber then peed on it. I forgot. It’s all rusty now. He goes into the kitchen to get a knife. I’m still eating peanuts watching dragon ball z. He comes towards me screaming. I get scared and throw a turd in his stupid face and run. He starts chasing me. He slips and falls on my peanut shells. The knife went into his belly. I stand over him and pooed on his chest. I call 911 though because that’s good boy points.
>430 I’m the afternoon
>Wake up after marathoning rick and morty the night before
>Get up early to tug it to nick jr
>Make big boy mayonnaise on my hand
>Sweating like like a pro athlete after energetic jerk
>Hankering for some tendies
>Waddle over to gbp chart
>25 points
>Have enough to get a meal at McDonalds
>Mumsie just got home from her second job
>”Mommy your good little boy has enough points for a nuggie meal! Time for McDonald!”
>”user, I just got home, can I take a nap first?”
>Backhand her and explain AGAIN the agreement on the chart
>Mommy grabs her keys, tears in eyes as we go get my prize
>See they have mlp toys for kids meals
>Fuck, spent all my points on 20 nugs
>Start to reeeeeeeeeeee on the floor, until I see a girl with a twighlight sparkle toy
>Run up to her and beg to trade my shirt for it
>Stuck up little Stacy sloot starts to freak out and run away
>Chase after her with shirt half way over head yelling for the little cumdumpster to get back here
>Fucking chad dad gets up in my face about calling his sloot kid a cum dumpster skank and trying to rape her
>Explain I only want my twiley toy, chad, fuck off
>Get punches in face and fall to the floor
>Shit myself and cry for mommy to help her good little boy
>Mommy runs over, crying, apologizing to the chad, and saying I don’t know any better
>”Whatever, lady, that retard has to be in his thirties! Let’s go!”
>Takes his daughter and leaves, probably to fuck her gaping vag, the whore
>Cry whole way home until mommy stops by Walmart and gets me a twiley plush
Feels good man
The only hope any of you pussies have of getting laid is when your mom gets old and has dementia so bad she mistakes you for your dad.
>5:45 PM
>Wake up from a particularly intense visit to tumblrs paw-fetish tag
>Even managed to stretch over my belly and reach my peepee long enough to cum with out mummys help
>Awake now, I feel the need for about 50 tendies and an extra large glass of chokie pudding to wash it down
>Press the intercom I had mommy install for my birthday last year
>"TENDIES TENDIES AND CHOKIE PUDDY!"
>If this cunt is too stupid to decipher THAT, then she's beyond all fucking help
>Mommy sprints up the stairs 20 minutes later with 2 50 piece nuggets from mcdonalds and a large jug of puddy
>Nuggets
>"Do it again or I'll fucking kill myself and light the house on fire right before I pull the fucking trigger."
>"Wha- Oh right! Tendies, not nuggies! I'm so so sorry honey..."
>"Honey'
>Fucking HONEY
>Mommy knows I like to be called her sweetpea
>Roll out of bed and lunge at her, the poopoo from last weeks Poofap party in hand
>Smash it into her fucking face as hard as I can while screaming "POOPOO POISON PAWNCH!!!"
>Mommy falls backwards into the radiator, but this has happened so many times her skull is calloused enough to tank the shot, she scrambles to her feet and rushes back to the car
>By the time she returns, I've eaten all the nuggies and puddy
>She has the 50 tendies
>But no new puddy
Guys, I try to be understanding but this is borderline child neglect. How do I show her that this is unacceptable? It's obvious my gentle reminders won't be as effective now that her skull doesn't crack on the radiator anymore.
Stay away from my mommie!
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Good day today.
My mommie makes me cummies all da time. She sits on my willy with her warm goo and slides up and down until i make mayonaise in her belly. See this picture for proof chad.
>be me
>Mommy's Roly Poly Baby Booby-boo
>Playing Warframe
>2 days to finish Mag Prime
>lolno
>Go to rush. No platinum
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Bellow for mommy to bring her credit card
>No mommy.
>THIS SHALL NOT STAND!
>Heft self out of limited edition DXRacer gaming chair, farting to propel myself upwards
> Waddle from room, kicking over poopy bottle in the process. Oh well, mess for mommy to clean!
>Glance at GBP calendar
>600 Good Boy Points
>Stop to make out with hot waifu on calendar to celebrate
>She wants the D
>Go downstairs
"MOMMY BRING THE CREDIT CARD! YOUR BABY WANTS TO OWN SCRUBS HARD!"
>Mommy and new daddy Chad on couch.
>Mommy's crusty roast beef is eating new daddy's fist!
>New Daddy deserves it... Or is he trying to crawl up mommy and become the new baby?!
>ENGAGE REEEEEEEEEEE
>Fall down stairs, wallow my way to the bottom
>Piss and shit everywhere
>Vomit to lubricate my path, a glorious penguin in motion
>Slide across floor, slam into couch
>New daddy Chad screams, yanks fist out of mommy's vagina
"BABY KNOWS THE GAME YOU PLAY, MAMA'S FAVORITE HE WILL STAY!"
>New Daddy tries to kick me, slips on puke puddle
>Hits head on coffee table, goes to sleep
>Heft myself up, punch mommy in crusty cooter
"CREDIT CARD!"
Mommy cried tears of joy, and I pooped on New Daddy to show I'm the favorite. Life is good, Yea Forums.
It feels so good to cummie wummie in mommy wommy
I'll fuck her in front of you. I'm the guy she brings home on the weekends when she fucks strangers. I'll have her let you lick her clean when I'm done with her. I won't be back.
Don’t worry new daddy I’ll bring you a beer like a good boy. ;) you’ll love it here. Mommy wommy makes tendies and theyre da best.
Dont worry i wont put nydol in it muahahahahaha
>be me, a healthy, handsome, bouncy 31 year old baby boy
>come downstairs from an exhausting day of playing video games and consuming anime
>waifu really proud of me for coming in second in a game of PUBG and winning 8 of my 13 league of legends games
>tell mummy of my conquests, ask for some tendies
>she's tired and makes a small quip about her breast cancer
>remind mummy that her breast cancer isn't going to kill her
>she gives me a look
>remind the confused and bewildered female that I asked for tendies, chop chop
>"user, I have to get ready for work. I showed you how to make them yesterday."
>have no recollection of such events, politely inform her she's lying
>"That's ENOUGH. Go to your room."
>[ettv]wrong.move.bitch.S01E01.mkv
>assert my girth and alpha male dominance
>push mummy to the floor and choke her
>on the side of her neck mind you, as to not crush her windpipe. women love being choked, thanks redpill
>she lies on the floor and takes it like the submissive female she is
>after a few minutes stop and politely remind her I don't ask the same question twice
>she doesn't respond
>typical stacy
>return to my humble aboad upstairs as she starts flopping around and foaming at the mouth like a bitch in heat
>I've seen enough anime to know she's having an orgasm
>smirk realizing that I'm good looking enough to give even my own mom an orgasm without sexual penetration
That being said, my fellow Yea Forumsros, how do I break the news that I'm not sexually attracted to her when I go back downstairs tomorrow? I know she has an Oedipus complex, but I don't. Should I leverage this into more good boy points?
>more of a father figure role
raising someone else's kids is the ultimate cuck
im sitting at my comp crying at this rn
You should hold her down and put your peepee in her warm crotch spot. It feels really good. Just think about waifu and your magic mayonaise will give you 200 good boy points. That’s how it works at my house. You and your mawmie should come over tomorrow for tendies and dew. My mommie wants me to make friends reeeeee like some sort of normie. Ill show her this to show that i tried.
>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlys for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlys
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlys, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>everyone in restaurant staring at us
>Manager man comes and says we have to leave
>Never got my icy creamy
>REEEEEEEEEEEE
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy knowing that she can do something to make me forgive her
>mfw
I'll be bringing my own whiskey and putting on my own condom. If your dad had been that smart, you wouldn't be here.
>be me
>mummy's chunky 550lb miracle
>wakeup at 5pm
>roll over in my playpen
>something is missing
>my waifu pillow is gone
>that bitch has kidnapped her
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply
>roll out of the pen but too fat to stand
>crawl along the floor
>poopoo and peepee bottles fall and spill in my wake
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
>roll down the stairs and see mummy in the kitchen
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER, WHORE?!
I-I don't know what you're talking about sweetie
MY WAIFU! WHERE IS SHE!
Your pillow... thing. I took it to get washed, it was all gross and crusty
MY WAIFU PILLOW I SHALL FIND, THEN YOU SHALL EAT TENDIES FROM MY BEHIND
>pull myself onto my legs for the first time in weeks
>can feel my knees buckling under the weight of my ample frame
>i strap on my naruto headband, grab my minecraft sword and waddle out the door on my chivalrous quest
>people gag as i pass them on the street
>others flee in terror at the sight of me lumbering down the street trailing poopoo behind me
>get to the laundromat
RELEASE HER FROM HER SOAPY PRISON!
>laundry lady looks shocked
e-excuse me
MY WAIFU YOU ODOROUS CRONE! I AM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HOUSED WITHIN ONE OF THESE SPINNING DEATHTRAPS!
oh, y-you're mrs user's ch-child... your mother's laundry is over here
>i see my love being drowned in a vortex of water and suds
REEEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S DYING YOU MALODOROUS FIEND! HOW CAN YOU LET AN INNOCENT FLOWER WILT AND DIE THIS WAY!
>i use all my tard strength to rip the machine door from it's hinges
>water floods the room as i stand triumphant sword held high and waifu in hand
>make my way home expecting tendies for the returning hero
>instead see the blue and red flashing lights of the law
>they tackle me to the ground, the stench causing them to vomit all over me
IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?!
>they separate me from my love and throw me in the back of a car
>i can see them dragging her away as my eyes fill with tears
>never see her again
So true. Those guys are only going to get thanked with a whiny brat and false molestation charges. They don't deserve better.
Man once mommie started taking my secret mayo into her tummy she can’t get enough. Good move user. So much better than waifu pillow. Every time she gets fat, from too much mayo, i punch her in the belly and she’s skinny again after she goes into the bathroom to poop out the fatty watty.
>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she walks to the kitchen trying hard not to vomit from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw
I responded to the wrong post. Bwaaaahaaahaaa. This is the correct one.
I'll be bringing my own whiskey and putting on my own condoms. If your dad was that smart, you wouldn't be here.
Faker
Settle down, beavis. It is funny.
> its noon after i pulled all-nighter on fortnight
> getting irritable and hungry
> decide to venture to the living room
> 20 years worth of dried cum rags and foot skin fragments crackle like tinfoil mines under my hefty stomps
> "user its your bday"
> my eyes widen as i leak fluids that were irritating my bowels since halloween (cant lose points bc bday)
> "i made 3 days worth of tendies for my special boy"
> i begin to feast with one hand while wiping liquid shit off my ass with the other
> "user i know its a big responsibility but i got you a dog"
> she gives me the rundown on dogs while i daydream about applejack getting 12" throatfucked by a german sheppard"
> whatever
> i go to my room and the scrawny little shit follows me in
> after a day he scratches the door and wimpering but i have vidya to do
> day 4 he is lapping up puddles from my spilled piss jugs and eating weeks old tendies that found their way into and out of my ass crack
> after a week hes stopped moving and starting to smell
> guess normie animals arent built to survive (that'll teach mummy)
> week 2 hes immensly decayed and reaking
> mummy comes upstairs
> "omg user!! I LEFT A BAG OF FOOD RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ROOM"
> right then i was killed and made 12th
> okbitchherewego
> i barrel roll to the door and knock her down
> grab the maggot filled carcass
> start shoving handfuls of living wriggly crawlys in her face
> "interrupt fortnite, stinky buggies you will bite"
> she screams a frightful tune
> i then lay the macabre mess of flesh and bone on her chest and lay my beautiful curvy ass cheeks on top
> the dog innards ooze in all direction lubricating my ass and balls while mummy vomets helplessly and avoiding my flaccid cock
> the erotic sensation bring me to a full erect with liquid cake shit coming out
> now im back on my vidya
> mummy lies in a shit vomet death swamp with her stupid fucking dog present
I killed daddie waddie. Come on over. I live in the trailer up the road from the 7/11, the one with the good cherry slushie.
You’re a faker. Mommy never does this.
>making home made tendies
>got all my ingredients out
>mom tells me not to start cooking because new new new new daddy is coming over
>pause for a moment, knock my seasoned flower over and call her a fucking whore for fucking all these men
>tell her i'm going to drive to wendy's for my tendies even though i've never driven once in my entire 31 years of existance
>she won't give me the keys or tell me where they are
>wrestle her while asking where they are
>do a big boy leg sweep like i saw on youtube and pin her
>keep asking where they are
>doorbell rings
>it's new new new new daddy
>"user please let me get the door"
>fine, fucking slut
>new new new new daddy comes in and looks at me
>"oh is that your son you told me about?"
>say yes and say to be carful with her because shes a big meanie who neglects her son
>"??"
>go upstaires and find the car keys in the gameroom
>take them and sneak out with some coins so i can buy me some tendies
>really nervous about driving but fuck mummy
>start car
>drive out of neighborhood
>hit a few curbs and nearly knock over a sign
>get to an intersection and hit the breaks but accidentally press the gas peddle
>go zooming into a nearby house and crash
>wake up in the hospital
>mummy and new new new new daddy are standing in the room talking to the doctor
>look up and rant on about how its her fault and how she knows i have aspergers and that she let me drive anyway just so i could crash
>they ignore me and ask what i want to eat
>Tendies, bitch.
>tfw finally got my tendies
Man you gotta give mommy some of your secret mayo in her crotchy wotchy. Just get on top of her, you’re heavier than she is. She’ll stop looking for new daddys.
>Wake up at 6 pm covered in sweat, dried cum, and chicken grease
>stomach rumbles
>no FUCKING TENDIES
>too heavy to move on my own
>I'm a beautiful 750 pound boi
>start shrieking for mommy until she opens the door
>"good morning user, what do you need swe-"
>I throw a second piss jug at her bitch face
>GIMME MY TENDIES WHORE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
>"sorry user, I gave you a double serving last night, and you agreed to skip breakfast today in return, remember?"
>I feel the rage boiling
>it gives me strength
>mommy comes over to calm me down
>"honey, you need to calm down. A good boy always keeps his prom-“
>I grab the bitches neck and start squeezing
>"user WH-GHGHGGggGggghhhhh
>In the heat of the moment I summon the colossal amount of energy necessary to roll over and fall off the bed on top of her
>with her pinned down I start punching her bitch face over and over again
>WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES WHERE MY TENDIES
>she cries and begs for mercy until she falls asleep with her eyes open
>I feel another rumble in my tummy
>it's the 200 trendies and 5 gallons of Mountain Dew from last night
>I turn over and explode the foulest of shits onto mommy to teach that bitch a lesson
>60 seconds later the spray dies down
>turn around and see mommy covered in my good boi chocolate
>peepee starts to get hard
>would watch hentai but my laptops out of reach
>pull down mommy's shorts and panties and start putting my wiener in and out of her no-no spot until my good boy cream shoots out
>still hungry and no way to get tendies
>pick out pieces of tendies from my doodie and enjoy a second time
>no sauce needed
>it's been over a week now
>I still can't get up and I'm running out of mommy jerky
>try throwing her bones through my window to get attention but no one brings me tendies
plz help guys