I made a girl I like at my job a sandwich with my own cum in it...

She could be allergic to cum. If she has a reaction and they test her and find spooge in her stomach then then can DNA test the jizz and you'll go to jail.

This is one of the reasons I don't take food from anyone, you never know what perverted, diabolical shit they did to the food.
That said, that sounds hot as fuck OP.

I hope you marked the sandwich properly:

"WARNING: MAY CONTAIN NUT."

Christianity was a mistake.

What's some fucking Mexican going to do for me? Make me a burrito?

I real man would have fucked her to get the jizz into her. Congratulations on being a cringey loser betaboy. Enjoy your permanent virginity.

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Oh mah gawd, you sick li'l munkey!!!!

All these plebbitors. Christ sake

All these permavirgin incels...like (You).

lol what

Thread's over, someone get the lights.

no, tell her ASAP while it's still fresh in her mind and tastebuds. if you're lucky she'll vomit on the spot

You're opinion doesn't matter queer

Yes, in a very sociopathic and lonely way, you're practically bf and gf now.

Next time make a doodie in her sandwich that'd be funny.

>You're
OK, kid, whatever.

He should make her a booger and doodie sandwich with peepee sauce.

imagine dying cause someone nut in your sandiwch

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You're gay

This one time I made my mom a fart sandwich. it was pretty funny.

You're so deeply in the closet you're sucking dick in Narnia.

never tell

You should poop into her butt and then have her poop into your butt and then keep passing the poop back and forth forever.

I too like to make big cums, OP. I make big cums when I do the sex.

Non Sequitur

>goes on Yea Forums
>complains about the presence of virgins

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I don't know, man, that does sound pretty gay, tho. You should dial your gayness back a notch or two. Mr. Tumnus' weiner is getting all sore.

Shit, nigga, I've had more pussy than you've had hot dinners.

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You would know

mommy lets me eat ice cream for dinner so the joke's on you pal

making a gril a sandwich? u got that azz backwards you cuk

Ah, I see you are a man of quality who also is enjoying the big cums. Perhaps we can meet up and make big cums with each other. No homo.

Wow, how many good boy points do you need for that.

Kek.
No one else think this wins the internet today?

Fuck off, low-life cunt.

I told everyone thread was over, but y'all niggers keep posting so I guess I will too. Underrated post.

I would find it hard to believe that she couldn't smell the cum.
It has a pretty distinct smell. Even being masked with the food, I would expect her to get a whiff at least once during eating it. I guess it's possible she doesn't know what cum smells like.

How did you get the cum in the sandwich? Did you fuck the sandwich OP? Was it roast beef so it kind of looked like a snatch?

you two can touch peeners

Sounds gay.

well she does now tho

yes

yes it does

Whoah a smart comment. Thought I was reading Fark all of a sudden.

We'd drown from all of the big cummies

You know a lot about how cum smells. Also, you might want to see a physician.

i like big cums and I cannot lie

I banged a hooker earlier today and had two big cums.

That user could be incredibly gay and drinks cum 5 out of 7 days of the week

Just the other day I heard a rumor that OP ate a shit sandwich, but he said, "Nah, fam, I don't like bread."

A real cumoisseur, if you will.

There was this girl at my high school who said she'd blow the football team if they won, and she got so much cum in her stomach she had to go to the hospital and have it pumped out.

Then make her a barf sandwich.

I've read stories about that.

this one time i asked this girl at my school if i could have a drink of her soda and when I put my mouth on the can i burped into it and so when she finished the soda it was like she was drinking my burp.

The next week I fingered her under the bleachers.

They said there was a gallon of cum in her and I'm not even joking.

Holy shit lmao, to think some poor guy has to marry her one day

fake and gay

A woman blows a bunch of guys? Doesn't sound gay to me.

Keep it up kid and you’ll end up in prison. All the ass fucking and cum swallowing you could ask for. God you’re dumb.

it's fake because it never happened, and it's gay because you're talking about blowing a bunch of guys until hospitalization, faggot.

I was in jail once. They stick me in a cell and my cellmate says "You wanna be the momma or the poppa," and I go, "Well, I guess I'll be the poppa," and he's like, "OK, then come over here and suck momma's dick!"

OK, first of all it did happen at my school, and second of all if you have a gallon of jizz in your tummy you'll get sick. So I think it is you who is fake and gay, newfriend.

This guy putts from the rough. He's a friend of Dorothy.

It's true. It happened in the 70s when women were fighting for equal rights. Are you saying women don't deserve equal rights?

He's a cumguzzler. There's no point debating him. He comes from a long line of cumguzzlers. I heard his mom was a sperm-burping gutterslut.

That was a movie faggot. Debbie does dallas

Your mom did Dallas.

ya swallowing cum no matter how much wont make u go to the hospital. its not like its alcohol. if it was true then she would just digest it all not have to get her stomach pumped like she is dying from alcohol poisoning so that part makes ur story fake. cum doesnt make u sick

She's 71 and still does

She collapsed on the field. Paramedics had to intervene

Get a load of this faggot who has never seen Debbie Does Dallas.

Gotta spurt here. How much cum makes you tummy ache?

A gallon does, faggot. Look it up.

I own it on VHS

Yo mom is nasty.

not possible. show me facts that cum is as poisonous as alcohol

It's not from that movie though. It happened in real life

show me the facts then

You should watch it. Nobody in it blows the whole football team. You're thinking of a different movie, boomer.

It's pretty hard finding a news article from the 70s as obscure as this

Google for yourself, nigger.

A gallon of anything at once will make you sick. Try to dink a gallon of milk in 20 minutes.
Not the faggot saying this story is true

Look at this faggot who is gernationfluid. Boomers are in their 70's or dead zoom zoom

It's true you'll throw up and pass out. My hs had milk fest parties. That's what they did

u r dum

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FAKE NEWS!

u have no proof then

This is a well known fact.
t. medical doctor

Dubs don't like. It's true news. Too much cum will kill you. Ask your mom. Wait you can't. She died of semen ingestion.

You suck at teh google.

Yours is dead, faggot

You’re not a fucking doctor stop larping

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and first of all i doubt it was a gallon. a gallon is alot and second of all if she did then it would take longer than 20 minutes to do all that

Actually I am. You = BTFO

You dubs lie
snopes.com/fact-check/student-coma-drinking-challenge/

They don't disprove it

This faggot was dumb enough to look that up. WATTA FAG

You're looking at the wrong one

Keep dreaming user

Yeah. BUT just in case i was throwing the curveball in the mitt

Kek. Got em

>reverse image search niggers. U eben goggle

now reverse image search your mom

LOL. faggots wanted fax now they shut up

>19:50:29
Holy shit almost bed time zoomie

If hentai has taught me anything, it's that cum inside you feels like boiling lava and it's the best thing ever.

>allergic to cum

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That image was fake, but it really did happen with the cheerleader in the 70s

what do u mean by that. the story is obviously fake for the gallon part and her being hospitalized from it. it would take like 100 guys maybe more to make a gallon of cum and it would take the whole day nonstop maybe longer to get a gallon of cum. do the math

Ever watched a Bukkake?

and at least this guy proved all u guys wrong

which is also an added bonus

I was simply implying a gallon of something ingested rapidly would make you throw it up

No he only proved the guy wrong about the coma picture. He wasn't even smart enough to look up the origin of the cheerleader

no its not u. its all these other bs posters

Are you new to the internet?

>19:52:53
Ok kid. Time for bed you got school in the am.

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Kill yourself, faggot. Don't fuck with food.

Go back to plebbit

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Checked

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What the fuck is wrong with you user

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Hey were in the same time zone

>Nice dubs..
I hear plebbit doesn't like creepshots or "candids"

ya like this is possible to fill up with male cum. maybe in a year
google.ca/search?q=a gallon of water&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjFpon345fkAhXOVN8KHfZ0BBEQ_AUIESgB&biw=1440&bih=745#imgrc=eCG8Stcr3-7NrM:

I wouldn't know.

OOPS
Checked the wrong faggot
Me Shmawt!

>Google
Of course they want to detract young impressionable women from not doing degenerate acts

>I hear

what

I think he responded to me with the trips on accident

im dying lol

Obvious bait retard, if this is even 0.0001% chance that it’s real, hope OSHA has a fucking field day with you.

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Ok kid. Ill splain like u 5
>be me
>checked trips
>hit wrong response
>see error
>realize tard
>correct check
Realise you tard

Tell you what. If someone did that to me, i'd bury my thumbs into their eyesockets. So, better not speak of that ever i think.

if you don't want them speaking .. prolly should gouge out tongue not eyes

i lold. i love this thread

Probably break their fingers too so they can't write or type

good idea user

Man i gotta switch computers so i can drink beer. Keep thread alive faggots

holy shit this thread is the most zoomer filled cancer ive seen in a while

Fuck off nigger go back to the trap thread we chillin in here

Have a seat this shit is funny

>funny
if youre 12

white knight faggot, neck yourself youre on Yea Forums you retard

I want to drink beer too. Might grab a burger and a 12 pack

Putting burgers on the grill in a bit. Cause merica fuck yeah

wptv.com/news/region-pinellas/florida-woman-accused-of-urinating-in-ice-cream-machine-at-local-ice-cream-shop

news.com.au/world/north-america/viral-icecream-licker-faces-decades-in-prison-felony-charges-for-food-tampering-prank/news-story/26e7bd4ed82d63c88d8b703fd16c5496

So I take it you don't post on /k/ then

Holy shit, that pic is hot.

nigger nigger aushwitz sieger

Oh my god oh fuuck shit i did not think this through