Be me

>be me
>negroid
>coming home from robbing my latest store
>see bitch in kitchen
>hangery.jpg
>”ayo bish mak me so wahfuws”
>”tayquando i awredy tod yo ass dat we done run out duh wahfuh sauce, go run daown to duh stow and get us sum waffu sauce!”
>ok lol
>run down to liquor store
>kick down door instead of opening it
>see cracker at register
>nuggerlazersactivated.wav
>”ahh shhhhiiiiiiiiiiieeeet y’all got any uhh dat wahfo syrup my cracker nigger fuck?”
>white man looks like he’s gonna piss himself
>”ahh....I can you say that again? I didn’t hea-“
>I don’t have time to deal with this oppressor, I have to go get some fucking waffle batter or whatever the fuck that bitch was talking about
>”mmmmmmmAAAAANNNNGGGHHEEEE SHHHHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEETTTTT I AEN GAT TIME FO YO RASIS AAAAAHHHS”
>grab some liquor before I bounce
>grab another bottle for the sole purpose of using it as a weapon for later
>continue to look for waffle batter

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>white man runs out of store saying that I didn’t pay for those or something
>pull out negroid blaster to intimidate him
>pussy runs back inside, lol
>decide to cut through and alleyway, I ain’t got all fuckin day bitch is gonna be screaming my ear off if I don’t get her some pancake shit
>”niiiqu”
>dafuqwuzdat.mp3
>turn around
>some man in traditional African clothing holding a spear
>he’s making indiscriminate clicking noises and tapping his spear on the ground
>maybe he knows where I can find some pancake sauce at
>”aww fug whatup cuuhhhhhhh???”
>traditional negroid makes a few clicking noises
>from my brief education in negronese, I can tell he is greeting me as a brother
>”auuyuuuuhhhh you no weyr I can get summm uhhhh wafo sauce?”
>traditional negroid stops his clicking
>a light blue aura surrounds him, and briefly, his eyes glow with knowledge and power
>he points his spear to the east side of town, across from the railroad tracks
>”mang yous awriiget niqua”
>”FREEZE”
>ancient negroid and I both look behind him
>it’s the cops
>the nigger screams something like OOLOOLOOLOLOOLOOLOLOO and chucks his spear at the officer
>spear plunged into white mans chest and comes out the other end, piercing into the ground
>cracker impaled on a stick looks kinda funny
>I chuckle huhuh
>”yo thanks ancient nigggaaaa”
>I give him a few rocks that I found as thanks
>he screeches and eats the rocks in delight
>I part ways with the ancient negroid and continue in my search for waffle batter

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what am I reading

>walk a ways towards the railroad tracks as ancient nigger instructed me to do so
>walk by a tv shop
>surprised it hasn’t been looted lol
>see a few fellow brothas crowded around the tv displays
>it’s playing CNN
>suddenly the pancake batter leaves my mind
>I am completely invested in the CNN broadcast
>my primitive mind has a difficult time comprehending the fancy words the white folk are using but a few stick out
>”young black male”
>”police officer”
>”unarmed shooting”
>suddenly I feel a sudden surge of adrenaline and anger
>other niggas around me start grunting and shaking violently
>I have only felt this a few time before and heard stories about it from grandpa
>I black out

>be me
>news reporter
>in a helicopter flying over some majority black city, the name eludes me
>a level 5 chimpout is happening, the most dangerous level
>my camera man, John, is recording the whole thing, and I am standing beside him waiting for CNN to give me the go
>”Jesus Christ, it’s a bloodbath...”
>this is Johns first time witnessing a chimp out, so he is understandably shaken
>niggers were leaping over building, flinging each other into the air, and looting the local businesses of all their worth
>I shake my head
>”John, it’s a sad thing. But thankfully, you, me, and the pilot are all safe up in this helicopter.”
>my earpiece goes off
>”Albert McFienstiengold, it’s your time to shine”
>I chuckle, ready to impress the masses
>I ready my microphone and rehearse my lines one last time before we go live
>”HOLY FUCK HES-“
>those are the last words that I heard John say
>a nigger flies through the door of the helicopter and snatches John, carrying him and the camera out the other door and into the smoke and rubble below
>I run over to the other door to see him disappear into the fire and smoke
>The pilot is screaming
>”JESUS HE WAS NAKED”
>I looked down into a clear patch of ground
>the niggers were throwing each other up to our helicopter

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>one after another, black bodies rocket through the skies trying to land on our helicopter
>”GET OUT OF THE WAY” I yell to the pilot
>we shut the doors to the helicopter so that the nuggets can’t get in
>pilot starts swerving left and right but the niggers keep coming, and now more frequently
>One hits the front windshield and starts slamming into the glass
>another hits the side door and bounces off
>”WE’RE GONNA DIE”
>pilot is crying, I don’t know what to do, and nigger are all over the helicopter
>finally, one of them fly up out of the smoke
>he is the scraggiest and most pathetic looking one
>looks like a starving African child
>he lands squarely in the propeller blades and gets tangled up like fishing wire in the rotors
>I feel the plane start spinning
>”WE’RE LOSING ALTITUDE”
>pilot dashed to grab a parachute, opens the door
>as he jumps out, the windshield nigger grabs him and jumps off into the smoke with him
>I say my final prayers as I descend into the smoke and fire
>the words I told John before his death echo in my ear
>”But thankfully, you, me, and the pilot are all safe up in this helicopter”
>I descend into the level 5 chimpout
>the helicopter crashes

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>be me
>tayquando
>reality begins to come back to me, and I regain control of my body
>my clothes are missing, my body feels roided out, and I have a TV in one hand and the liquor store workers head in another
>lol ok
>I drop the white boys head and kick it into the gutter, but keep the TV to sell or use later
>I finally take a look around me
>everything is on fire
>I see my niggas punching down buildings and flipping over police cars
>I see a few military people scattered around the ground
>I walk over to one
>steal his uniform
>steal guns
>niggas gotta nig
>I remember that I was trying to find pancake batter for my bitch to make me some food
>continue to head towards the train tracks

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>for some reason, it’s is really easy to sprint and jump
>the chimp out energy must still be flowing through my veins
>lol whatever
>leap over a few buildings
>see train tracks
>there are tanks and soldiers lining the front, surrounding the city
>they are blocking the way past the tracks
>I see one of the ape niggas trying to jump past the soldiers
>they all aim up and shoot his ass down, his naked body crumples to the ground
>nevermind.gif
>try thinking of ways to get around the blockade
>not very good at thinking
>get angry
>throw TV at the brigade
>it lands at a high speed and kills about five crackers
>lol
>I hear a loud crash somewhere behind me
>nothing else to do, I decide to go look
>Walk back into the smoke

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Bump

>be me
>Albert McFienstiengold
>somehow, I survived the crash
>I realize that I’m still in a level 5 chimp out, wish I had died in crash
>the smell of burning nigger invades my nose, I press on to try and find civilization
>try to take the back alleyways or empty streets to avoid the roaming band or aped-our negroids
>”ayyyy mang”
>i shit myself
>ahead of me, through the smoke I see someone in a military uniform
>”oh thank God, I thought I was done for!”
>the soldier walks closer
>his eyes are glowing red
>his skin is dark and visibly steaming
>the signs of a nigger experiencing a chimp out
>I realize one of them killed a soldier and wore his clothes as an act of defiance, pride, and bloodlust
>I know I can’t outrun a nigger experiencing chimp out
>”p-p-PLEASE! GOD DONT KILL ME!”
>the nigger is muttering something that sounds like “shiiiiiiieeeeeee” but I can’t hear him over my sobbing
>”I KNOW VERY P-POWERFUL AND RICH PEOPLE, P-PLEASE I CAN GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!”
>the nigger stops mere feet away from me
>”...you sayd, anythang?”
>I shit myself again
>never before has a nigger experiencing chimp out spoken or shown any signs of intelligence
>my begging worked!
>”y-yes, anything you want! But I need to be alive to help you, get it?”
>”uhhh canz you help me get sum waffoh battuh?”
>yet again, I shit myself
>this nigger, roided out in the chimp state, dressed in military attire and standing before a defenseless cracker Jew, just requested for waffle batter?
>I laughed
>”hahahaha!”
>right in his stupid fucking face
>”how rich! The bigger wants some waffles! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!”
>”oh wait, I gotz an ideyuh!”
>mfw I doubt the nigger can think himself out of an open door
>mfw he pulls out a hunting knife

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